blonde poker forum

Well since Carona closed down all the local eateries my mother and i have found ourselves relying on my #topcheffing skills (untill my dad passed away last year i hadn't cooked since 1987 unless you called heating up a mircowave burger or pie )
we are still waiting for the kitchen planners to get back to us on how they are going to make it so i can use the hob ( limited to oven airfryer microwave toaster toasty maker and kettle)

and there is no room to turn my wheelchair when i am in the kitchen


by the time a vaccine allows me to interact with the ladies of Private eyes (other brands are available) i am expecting to be cooking better than Jamie Bloody Oliver

this was my first ever attempt of cooking a steak, i used an airfryer for both the steak and chips
this was september 2019

Roll on a few months to the 25th of march 2020
my parents wedding anniversary the first one since my dad's passing
steak was his favourite dish so we had had one and first time in years i even had bottle of lager with it

my mother only eats one dish from a bird
Bernard mathews turkey steaks and it has to be steaks the escalopes aren't the same (same recipe just a different shape) she likes what she likes and is very particular

so to spice it up a little i went for creamed potatoes (impossible to get a proper mash or boiled tattie without using a hob so it smash)
yorkie puds and  sage and onion balls

i was too slow to capture the dish here just let me say it was delicious

the toasty maker has to be my best investment they are beautiful and so easy to make

cheese ham and pickle here

this was my shirt of the day i wore to attend the local hospital for my regular treatment last week

Have you tried sweet potato mash?   You can bake them in the skins in the oven, then mash at the end.  I have never tried this way with normal spuds though.

Do you have two ovens?   Proper yorkies are pretty easy, my kids can make them.

1 oven 2 airfryers (1 in kitchen 1 in my lounge)

we used to make our own yorkies dads were brill but so much easier to throw them in the airfryer

Would need to use the hob though when pouring in the batter.

Take tray out of oven, pour in batter, put back in oven.   I don't see the need for a hob.   If the oven and fat is hot enough it isn't going to cool down much whilst putting the batter in.  I don't use a hob at any stage.  The oven is as hot as it goes (250 degrees).

this is my access to the cooker i can get close enough trying to go sideways as the kitchen isnt wide enough to

i can use the oven but not really that safely as i am lying chest on knees when i lean forward to access it then use right hand to grab the oven tray
and pull myself back into an upright position with my left arm. remembering i have no balance when not in a supported position
basically only thing i use the oven for is steak pies and pizzas anything else is a bit tricky

yorkie puds would be nice in there but the liquid would be all over the floor before i got it in the oven

.

Those pictures dont show it as well as I hoped the knobs on hob I can't reach without leaning forward and having to support my body weight with the other arm as I have no control of stomach muscles

one problem with the oven and our shopping delivery is that i can only put one pizza in the oven at a time and asda only do 10' fresh pizza to be delivered

so i share one with mum and have some chips on the side hoping to get some garlic bread delivered with pizza this week but half the order gets cancelled the day of delivery as out of stock

well i turn mine into an hawiian mum will only eat plain cheese and tomato

.

i love having a good local butcher and he makes some great mince and puts it into pies and mince rounds

the rounds are just too big though supposed to feed 4 but mum eats about 1/2 a normal person so i end up eating over 3 peoples worth of pie
no point having any tatties with it as i am struggling with the pie

so we starting getting individual pies normally i will have 2 the mince is lovely and we would have it with creamed tatties or with croquets

You do a grand job of looking after your mum.Respect to you.

Need more shirt of the day action.

Yep

the latest #topcheffing photos was a few weeks ago will leave the rest off the diary and just put up daily photos now

but here is yesterdays #shirtoftheday

#shirtottheday

I want that pie.

last nights #topcheffing

2 steak burgers from my local butcher
3 tattie scones from local  shop
can of heinz baked beans
puckle of chips from mcains

a banana and orange locally sourced from Asda

who ate all the food
who ate all the food
i am the fat ba*d
i am the fat ba*d
i ate all the food

#shirtoftheday

#topcheffing well that was a clusterf^ck, first asda couldn't supply a 10' margarita oh well 2 7' ones will do. When into cupboard to get a tin of pineapples because I only ran out and forgot to order, ffs same for my garlic bread. Oh well only 1 thing for it BECKS. I will be joining AA when this lockdown is over and I don't mean for my car.

I would eat everything you've cooked so far Iron.

But Mr RedDog is there anything you wouldn't eat?

Calamari

rest assured i wont be cooking that

Love Calamari, your shirts look the tastier things on this thread. :kiss:

had a slight problem with my sugar levels yesterday they dropped to 2.9 while lifting my dinner and it felt like i had drunken a bottle of whisky

so didn't get a photo of my #topcheffing

but here is today's choice of shirt

Those pies from the butcher look might fine, the Toasties look good too. Have you tried cheese and Marmite toasties? They absolutely rock!

got a cpl of pies for my dinner tonight along with some creamed tatties

i have never tried marmite think i will give it a miss though

say WHAT?!?

I have never tasted marmite, or brown sauce.

Well you’re weird too then  ;D

If I could only have one of Tomato or HP sauce for the rest of my life it would have to be HP. Breakfast isn’t the same without HP Sauce.

Never had Tighty down as a weirdo previously. 

They have those things on facebook where someone lists 60 foods and I think there is maybe one or two I haven't tried; then fully grown adults pipe up and say 30.

You can live without marmite, but please try a sausage butty with brown sauce before you go.

cheese, beans and marmite rock too.

HP is way better than tomato but worcestershire rocks

How have you not tried Marmite? Put it in your shopping basket now.
Try it on toast, in a cheese and marmite toastie and for the ultimate taste experience, try a crisp sandwich with marmite. Plain crisps, obviously.

just one of those things i have never tried or don't want to try
a bit like skinny dipping with piranhas just don't think i want to give it a bash

i am an extremely fussy eater
 

Anyone got any tips for cooking a gammon steak, I love them but never cooked one as could get them when we went out for a meal.

I am going to have to cook it in an airfryer

I have never used an airfryer, but didn't you cook a steak in one?   If you did, you'd do it like that.  On a normal grill/in a frying pan they take about the same time as a normal steak.

yeah Medium rare steak 7-8 minutes in air fryer

I'd do it a bit longer, as I wouldn't want an uncooked bit of gammon. 

This suggests 6 minutes, but no idea if a gammon steak is the same as a ham steak.  I'd definitely go over to be sure.   Maybe 10 minutes.  If it feels overcooked maybe less next time.

https://airfryer.cooking/recipe/ham-steaks/ (https://airfryer.cooking/recipe/ham-steaks/)

thanks it all depends on the thickness i suppose

Yep, you'll probably be a better judge than me

#topcheffing

still need some pineapple will get a tin soon

Cheese on beans, on cheese, on toast, with a sliver of marmite on the toast 👍

FYP

#shirtofttheday

yesterday's shirt

went for a plain look

#topcheffing

went for a bit of colour on my plate last night after i forgot to take my dinner out the freezer 24 hours before
so got some locally caught haddock by young's
some of my families recipe famous tomato and basil rice (uncle Ben)
and some baxters beetroot grown in a field a stones throw from my house and put in jars in the factory less than 500 yards away from my front door.

#shirtoftheday

had to take a trip to the hospital today so went for this brand new shirt army training and i am camouflaged

Was Tikay coming for tea?

he is welcome to come for tea any time but i think he isnt as flamboyant with his meal choices as me

#shirtoftheday

eyes were hurting due to sun in my eyes

this daylight should be banned

#topcheffing

mum's dinner and mine notice a difference ?

#topcheffing

You have different place mats.

You don't like sliced mango or whatever that stuff is on your mums plate

neeps and carrots

nope same ones i believe

You’ve got more sausages

Yeah love a good beef banger

been having trouble sleeping for awhile now got really bad last cpl of days hence no cheffing top or otherwise and some of my more somber shirts

today i found out i have gone and gotten myself 2 identical shirts so i am a bit dressed in this photo

#shirtoftheday

#topcheffing

steak pie and creamed tatties

even tikay would eat this

too bright a sun for sitting outside

#topcheffing

spoilt myself today with 6 of my 5 of day for my evening meal can you spot them all?

#shirtoftheday

What is the green spot on that chip?

Mind you that might be the least of my concerns.

trick of the light

This post made me laugh so much.

I think Lockdown is getting to me.

Haha, this was good :-)

yesterdays #shirtoftheday for my trip to the hospital

I hope they managed to remove that tree.

never that tree is my camouflage

#shirtoftheday

a little hint of colour today

#topcheffing tonight was a Hawaiian Pizza with some garlic bread washed down with a bottle of becks

Pics or it didn't happen.

cool beans if it didnt happen then i dont need to work off the calories. was so hungry tonight i had finished the pizza before i remembered to photo it

#shirtoftheday

Thanks Iron. Your smiley face really brightens my day.

i put that smile on just for you

#shirtoftheday

complete the sentence but keep the answer in your head this is a family forum


"smile you miserable .................."

That's better. It distracts me from looking at the shirt.

"smile you miserable Scottish .................."

Scottish leg end?

#topcheffing quality wine served with 8oz of prize locally sourced  aberdeen angus  steak  from the butcher served on a a bed of golden chips and onion rings. Seasoned liberally with Lea and perrin finest Worcestershire  sauce

Looks great but have to deduct a couple of points for balancing the steak on top of the chips.

Get a bigger plate FFS. (And make sure you warm it)

ffs keeps the chips warmer if it on a bed of chips

#shirtoftheday

its a new day its a new dawn its a new shirt for me

....and you're looking good. Bap dap ba daa daa dap!

The smile is coming along nicely too.

is to work these new camera phone thingyamigs

#topcheffing what am i making for dinner tonight?

A pie of some kind.  linking the threads together, cookoo pie?

Serious guess.   quiche, as I can only see one piece of pastry, though you don't strike me as a quiche person.

Lino?

Hahaha, I like it

you like lino?

#topcheffing

45 minutes later

#topcheffing

60 seconds later

Nice looking steak pie Iron.

Those are the biggest peas I've ever seen in my life. I bet one of those would count as your 5 a day.

It is the tiniest pie with crockery from Lilliput together with good use of camera angles.

thats what i am gonna tell my dietitian next time i am at the diabetic clinic thanks for the tip 

#topcheffing practically turn vegetarian today when i went for a baked tattie with salad
oh and a little cold meat
 

#shirtoftheday

so Ms Sturgeon has told us to wear facecoverings not masks when we go out save the masks for the NHS
so i went to the hospital tuesday for my weekly appointment i was about the only person with a covering on my face
but hey rules are rules pity this is the closest i have to a scarf

been busy last couple of days preparing for my new PC which arrived today so hence lack of photos

sorry for the lack of lovely food and shirts photos but i have been saving myself

#topcheffing question of the day

Does a fruit pastilles lolly count as one of your five a day

asking for a diabetic

oops that will be me

Of course. So does a chocolate orange and a strawberry daqari.

My life is complete doesnt mean I am ready to pass over though

so mum has taken up Jigsaw puzzling really enjoying the 1000 piece puzzles, but she has been struggling with her back leaning over the table

so i ordered her a trolley and puzzle board.

unfortunately this arrived

Flat pack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry about a thing let see if i can get it out of the box

20 minutes later

#topengineering

i expect to lose my motability car next week if not sooner

Did you assemble that Iron?

yep i am quite proud of my manskills for once

Nevermind that, where's the shirt?

my  tailor is rushed off his feet after i let slip who was making my shirts

Good work Iron

#topcheffing, if I got this at a top quality restaurant for £25 (moray prices) I'd be happy. Excuse the presentation I was starving.
Sirloin steak medium rare, chips and these small red apples that tasted like ketchup. Washed down with a glass of vodka (neat) and mug of nambarrie (milk no sugat?)

Did you boil the meat ?

air fried

its been a while but i am now in hibernation mode

#shirtoftheday

Ok not sure if I am upset with Boris or Nicola or both. But since the end of last month I am having to use lighting in every room I enter just to see. If the governments were truly worried about climate change they would stop this waste of electricity and give us natural lighting again like we had in June/July when the lighting was never needed. RANT OVER.
#topwhining

Serious post alert: tldr summary the Aliens did it
Last night after retiring to bed having partaken in a baileys hot chocolate where my hand might have accidentally slipped when adding the baileys. I dropped off to sleep quite quickly only to be rudely awoken by what i now know as Aliens (claiming david icke as there messiah). I asked them what they wanted and if they didnt mind coming back in the morning as i was busy trying to sleep. But they wanted to speak to a man (yes Aliens are sexists) of intelligence and as all the Scientists were busy and the politicians and generals Idiots, the best they could come up with is me. The task given to me by the Aliens last night is to get out the message. CAREFUL how much baileys you put in your hot chocolate at night or you too could be kidnapped by Aliens.

I glad to see that you haven't gotten any more sensible Iron.

Merry Christmas.

thank you season greetings to you and your family

#topcheffing tip for those getting a steak pie from butcher ask if they have any with uncooked pastry. Pastry always better cooked first time. Lack of mash was due size of pie.

made this and thought of reddog

I thought of me too.

new toy dual zone air fryer so simple even reddog could use it

Seen it on the telly.
Can't buy one yet cos Mrs Red bought two ordinary air friers when they were 50% off.

cant buy one yet as they are out of stock again

been out of stock everywhere i looked fo over a month came back in stock on christmas day on ninjas website was out of stock again on boxing day

If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at.
i have no idea how much weight i have put on in the past year but more than i would care to know.
So if i cant got to the Non-Dad Dad dancing establishments i will just have to do it at home till i lose 20 inches from my waist.
was thinking of sharing some of my moves with everyone then i remembered the copyright laws and we are not allowed to broadcast music.
So here is me dancing along to a very famous tune, but you cant hear the Audio.
can you "name that tune"





YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_bEc5XTm6k

Iron, you fat bastard, that video has made my day.

Judging from the dancing I'm guessing you were listening to this

https://youtu.be/wc5vncyWQnY



Or this


https://youtu.be/6KJGJRd8pGE

i'll let you know who you get on when the scores are in

Made me smile , cheers Iron.

Is it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaC2K34SLhc

cheers for the guesses Booder and reddog  can't give away the answers just yet as there may be some late entries but here is tonight attempt

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmbbUp8nAmA


If you cant laugh at yourself who can you laugh at.
Trying to work off that pizza.
Non-dad dad dancing at its finest (or lowest) your waiting for it to be adopted into the Olympic movement.
can you name the tune i am dancing too with audio removed to avoid censors.
This one is much easier than yesterday although i gave up trying to interpret the song half way

Is it My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama by Frank Zappa?

not sure i have even heard of that song reddog might have to go learn it tonight

Lily the Pink.

greatest song ever written but not this time

Ok time for name that tune 3, at least one person has gotten a correct answer so far. But i think everyone will get this one. i might have butchered a few of the set moves and added a few moves of my own but i was kinda knackered when i did this.
#topbopping #shirtoftheday

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjYao5NgRkg

How have I missed this? 

Agadoo.  no links to that shite, sorry.  might try the others later.

This made me laugh. Very tough! I can't see him pushing pineapple and shaking the tree though in the video, did I miss it? So I'm not sure it is agadoo.

Bonus points for the excellent shirts.

anyone who knows me well knows i am happiest  when people around me are happy,i prefer to give a gift than to receive one, and prefer to do stuff for other people than have people do stuff for me.
A few people seem to enjoy me making an idiot out of myself non dad dad dancing name that tune which is encouraging me to exercise and lose the belly i have put on.
so i have bought a lucky dip lottery ticket for Saturday's draw and will share 50% of the winnings to all those taking part and a bigger share to those with correct answers. On a points per share basis. Answers should be on Facebook, blondepoker forum, Messenger, text, whatsap or telegram or youtube, or other apps where i can keep record.  1 guess for each person per video and if you don't want people copying just message me your guess/answer.
1 pt for anyone giving an attempt 1 pt per week (so you don't even need to look at the video just give a random guess
1 additional points for each correct guess
last entries will be 7.30 pm on Saturday.
when i will let you know what tunes i was attempting to dance too
i will also have a lottery ticket for Saturday the 13th
points will be awarded from the Friday to Thursday clips.

i will try and put one up each day, but health and mood swings this wont always be possible.

as technically the prize is a share of 50% of a £2 lottery ticket i have to limit entries to those over the age of 16. lets all get rich and me fit together.

Ps anyone that doesn't want to see me making an idiot out of myself then why are you on my facebook/diary cause that is all i ever do anyway.

Week one proper episode 1
Name that tune with the audio removed
by my "Great" non dad dad dancing
wasn't the version of the song i loved but it works
well in keeping me fit

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHSwPOI32c8

Is it Tori Amos and Damien Rice - The Power of Orange Knickers?

is that 3 or 4?

Is it Holiday in Cambodia by The Dead Kennedys

Yes.

So Iron, it's all very well you bustin a few moves but are you actually cutting down on the crap you eat.

We need pictures of you eating lettuce, tofu, mushroom etc.

baby steps, i aint falling for eating them poisons

prologue week scores on the doors
name that tune 1
Sweet Caroline Tony Christie
name that tune 2
Stuck in the middle with you Steelers wheel
name that tune 3
agadoo black lace
Lets Win Together (no idea what time the draw is)
08 14 16 27 40 59
lauren d   3
doobs      2
james M    2
D.nd    2
julie  d   2
kris       2
mandy k    1
paul q     1
Jackie q   1
reddog     1
booder     1
sarah h    1
jeanette h 1
Glenn L    1
bergeroo   1
laura sbr  1
Marie M    1
Izzy M
Name that tune week 1 espiode 2
this dance track fllor filler from 1989
got many a heart racing and the blood pumping
never did i know Baxters had such a popular
product till this song was written about it
no attempt by me to interpret the words
i tried and failed to get many of the dance moves in
but hopefully some of you will get it




YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSIKp9FEdSg

Gotta jump in here, bloody rubbish song and blatantly racist against us Eccles! I do not have terrible freckles and regardless of every fucking 'joker' do any of my family.......never met Jennifer though...

#shirtoftheday

i remember when all my shirts t-shirts and sweatshirts all had blonde logo on them
found this in the back of my wardrobe last one i have left from that era of my life.

sorry forgot to post the new vidoes


New beginning after a couple of weeks under the weather
the theme today is Summer

name the tune i am non dad dancing too
Audio removed to avoid copyright issues
Multiply choice

A summer of 69 By Bryan Adams
B  in the summertime By Mungo Jerry
C summer holiday By Sir Cliff

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NbT78J0o3k


name the tune i am dancing too with the audio track removed
today's options are

A Madonna Like a virgin
B Sir Cliff bachelor boy
C Sex Pistols  No One is Innocent

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZ1L7pdQEs

Theme of the day is Funk
yeah i miss read it too when i read the request

Can you name the tune i am dancing too without hearing the audio track removed so not to infringe copyrights

Multiple choice options are

A Stevie Wonder   Superstition
B Lipps Inc   Funky Town
C James Brown  Papas Got A Brand New Bag
D Rick James  Super Freak

tomorrow's theme is seemingly bonjovi

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgyvCBGYk1o

can you work out from my  dance what tune i am dancing too
while the audio is muted for copyright
today's theme is Bon Jovi

options are

A Born to be my baby
B Blood on Blood
C Livin' on a prayer
D Wanted dead or Alive
E You give love a bad name

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4EvnjF3weM

Never mind copyright issues, you stole my hairstyle.

i stole it from ray reardon

got my Bill Gates tracker installed today, oops i mean my covid vaccine