blonde poker forum

after reading the best actor thread, i got thinking why are they the best?
it all boils down to the best lines, speeches or conversations.
so lets hear em, ill start.....

"if it bleeds we can kill it"

arnie.s - the predator

'Made it ma. Top of the world'

James Cagney, White heat.

Got to be Blazing Saddles for me.

Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!

Later, when holding the interviews for aforementioned horn-swagglers etc.

Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: (gleefully) I like rape.

Then my favourite line, from Mel Brooks, to entice two KKK members to leave the applicant ine so they could steal their white robes....

Mel: Hey! Where are the white women at?

The whole film is comedy genious. Best fun I've ever had with my clothes on.

Blues Brothers

Elwood: Sh~~!

Jake : What?

Elwood: Rollers

Jake: No

Elwood: Yeah!

Jake: Sh++ !!

 :D :D

 Td Th

" That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. "

 :D :D :D

matthew mcConaughey in dazed and confused

this film is packed with crackers but here is a good one with big sam.l when hes interrogating some guy eating a burger in the flat.

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHERF****R! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I'm saying!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What, I-?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherf****r. Say what one more goddamn time.
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: No!
Jules: Then why you try to f*** him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't.
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to f*** him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be f***ed by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
pulp fiction   sam l jackson

Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.

from Napolean Dynamite

I am Conner MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
I was born in 1518, in the village of Glamis, on the
shores of Loch Shiel.

And I am immortal.

I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS F*CKING COUCH!

and

I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.

(both from The Thing - classic)

I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubblegum (Roddy Piper - They Live)


Aaah John Carpenter movies they don't make em like they used to

The goonies, when the Fratellis are interrogating Chunk

Francis Fratelli : Tell us everything! Everything!
Chunk : Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Jake Fratelli : I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!

'We've come on holiday by mistake'

richard e grant in withnail and i

I tell you what.
It's a crackin' place you got, love.

   
                   
- Good. I'm glad you like it.
- No, I was being sarcastic.

   
                   
Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
I would have met you off the train.

   
                   
- I didn't come on the fucking train.
- Off the bus then.

   
                   
- I didn't come on the bus either.
- So how did you get here then?

   
                   
Well, basically, there was this little dot,
right, and the dot went bang...

   
                   
and the bang expanded...
energy formed into matter.

   
                   
Matter cooled, matter lived,
the amoeba to fish, the fish to fowl...

   
                   
the fowl to froggy, the froggy to mammal,
the mammal to monkey, the monkey to man.

   
                   
Amo, amas, amat. Quid pro quo.
Memento mori. Ad infinitum.

   
                   
Sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese
and leave under the grill till doomsday.

   
                   
- I see you haven't changed.


David thewlis in Naked

For me the greatest scene in any film is Walken and Hopper in True Romance, the dialogue, direction and acting are simply brilliant

but as pure quotes go;

Al Pachino - Any Given Sunday

You find out life's this game of inches, so is football.
Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small.
I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fu**ing difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!

Airplane

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

or

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

or

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

Dazed and Confused

Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

Well this might save my bankroll while ill - I will just play on IMDb all day thanks.

Brian: You have to be different!
The Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
Small lonely voice: I'm not!

The Life Of Brian

Clint eastwood: The unforgiven

Clint walks into bar and shoots the bad guy:

Bartender with open mouth:  You just shot and unarmed man!!

Clint:  Should have armed himself.

Love the Blues Brothers and Carpenter quotes  :D

Here is my contribution to the debate, an incredible speech delivered by possibly the finest film actor of all time:

------

"I've seen horrors - horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that. But you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means.
 
Horror. Horror has a face - and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.

They are truly enemies.

I remember when I was with Special Forces - seems a thousand centuries ago - we went into a camp to innoculate some children.  We'd left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio.  And this old man came running after us, and he was crying.  He couldn't say.  We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm.  There they were, in a pile.  A pile of little arms.  And, I remember, I cried, I wept like some grandmother.  I wanted to tear my teeth out.  I didn't know what I wanted to do.  And I want to remember it.  I never want to forget it.  I never want to forget it. 

And then I realized, like I was shot, like I was shot with a diamond bullet through my forehead.  And I thought, My God, the genius of that!  The genius. The will to do that. 

Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. 

And then I realized, they were stronger than we.  Because they could stand it.  These were not monsters.  These were men, strained cadres.  These men who fought with their hearts, who have families, who have children, who are filled with love... that they had the strength, the strength to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly.  You have to have men who are moral, and at the same time, who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling, without passion.  Without judgment. 

Without Judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

I worry that my son might not understand what I've tried to be. And if I were to be killed, Willard, I would want someone to go to my home and tell my son everything...

Everything I did.  Everything you saw.  Because there's nothing I detest more than the stench of lies.  And if you understand me, Willard, you will do this for me."


---Marlon Brando as Colonel Kurtz, 'Apocalypse Now'

no friggin wonder that film went on for ages  :D 

Slightly better quality than Caddyshack, though.  8)

ahhhh there's so many. But as it was mentioned on here the other day.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles... The 'there not pillows scene'... it has me crying with laughter when i think about it.... 'wheres your other hand... ahh RIP John.

how dare you, how very dare you.... knocking caddyshack of all things  :D

The scene that always had me killing myself with laughter is the one where Steve unloads his bile on the lady at the rental car place...  :D

Very predictable but....

"he's not the Messiah....he's a very naughty boy"

Life of Brian

I'm just of down to blockbusters... gotta watch it now!!...... 'stone him'..... 'is ther any women here?' ahhhhh the best

Rodney Dangerfield

"I get no respect at all !".

caddyshack.

"How dare you! How dare you! How dare you call me inhumane!

Right you ****er...

...I'm going to do the washing up!"


--- Richard E. Grant (again) as Withnail

It could be one of many from Pulp Fiction. The one already mentioned, the "royale with cheese", the "five dollar shake", the line" I don't remeber asking you a goddamn thing", "hey Flock of Seagulls", jeez, I could go on., the "biblical quote"... what a movie...

Fight Club
"I just wanted to destroy something beautiful."  Tyler Durden

Good Will Hunting
"You like apples?"  "Yeah" comes the reply...  "I got her numba, how do you like those apples?"  Will Hunting

"You had me at hello " and  "You complete me ! " from Jerry Maguire, I just love that movie.

This little Nugget from Ghost Busters 2

Prosecutor: So, you're saying that the supernatural is your exclusive province?
Peter Venkman: Kitten, I think what I'm saying, is that sometimes, shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?

My favourite Ghostbuster quote is

Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Peter: Yes it's true, this man has no dick.

Nope - the best Ghostbusters quote is :

Ray!..... When someone asks you... if you're a God... you say YES!

ghostbusters again.'whoa, whoa, good shooting tex' (adlib by murray after egon destroys dinning room)
and'the flowers are still standing'( another adlib after pulling table cloth out)

Jay and silent bob.........jason biggs ' IM THE PIE F**KER<, IM THE PIE F**KER' ref to amerian pie
                                  security guard1'Well in prison you'll be the pie'

The greatest line has to be:

"I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle"

from the movie the Warriors 

"typical wop, bringing a knife to a gunfight"

Sean Connery - the untouchables

What's a wap?

The noise we all hear when ifm skelps you on the back of the head for picking up on his typo  :D

WAP stands for Wireless Application Protocol, and quite simply, it allows you to access information and services from the Internet on your mobile phone. WAP works in a similar way to the internet, users can view WAP sites from many different companies and individuals with a range of content. A lot of things available on the internet are also available on WAP.  8)

It's a fairly piss-poor movie but has a classic line

Devil's Rejects

Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane.
Otis B. Driftwood: Boy, the next words that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant f*ckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.

"Look at these morose mother******* right here, smells like someones sh*t in their cereal"

I love this line.  Think it's actually used in two Kevin Smith films if my memory serves me correctly.

might actually be 3 K smith movies. Love the Kriss Rock line in JASBSB but bit offensive to some so won t post it.

That whole segment is most amusing with Chris Rock.  Understand the not upsetting people bit as well. 

A mate of mine has got his stand up "I love black people" routine on his pc, sooooo funny. But again some people probably find this offensive.

hmpppphh such tosh from you philistines ... the greatest movie quote is ...


Raindrops on roses,
And whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles
And warm woolen mittens.
Brown paper packages
Tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies,
And crisp apple strudel.
Doorbells and sleighbells
And schnitzel with noodles,
Wild geese that fly
With the moon on their wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad.
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad!



Now stop this nonsense !!!  :)

Ps we have had this thread before ... my fav was

Wheres ya tool ?

what F***ing tool ?

This F***ing tool !!

(scum, boiler room fight scene)  Ray Winstone is god by the way!

F***ing Hell you again!!


JAWS 2

Regards

M

Dr. Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: I can't tell.
Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, I mean, I'm just not sure.
Dr. Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess "for another two hours"?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, no, no, I mean we can't land for another two hours.

Airplane.

And my favourite, favourite from Airplane:

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

For snoopy ......

---

"Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns.  Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty... we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said 'thank you' and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. 

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to."


Jack Nicholson, as Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, 'A Few Good Men'

Stand By Me:

'Why don't you eat your dick.... It'll be a small meal!'

Step Brothers:

'I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?'

Blazing Saddles:

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we... black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled.

and the millions from Anchorman