blonde poker forum

Mrs Red has gone shopping and left me to fend for myself, had a look in the fridge, it contains

1 a can of squirty cream

2 A curly wurly

3 a cucumber

4 a half eaten cooked chicken that looks like a shipwreck

5 a water filled teething ring

http://www.dominos.co.uk/

you can even order online.

Think of like this -

It's not a can of squirty cream this is luxury, tasty, prime anchor squirty cream......

This is not a curly wurly this is a lovingly prepared cadbury chocolate sensation made from the finest kenyan cocoa beans and fabuolous thick caramel centre curly wurly.....

etc etc

Bongo's right, mate.

Or if you feel the need to get out and about:


Dominos
148a London Road
Leicester
LE2 1ED
0116 299 6600

Confused by your request for a recipe. I have items 1 and 3, but under a pillow, not in the fridge.

..... I'll get my coat

I settled on  Chicken a la Gutsache

Tender pieces of chicken lovingly scraped from the carcase and served on a bed of cucumber diskettes, lightly seasoned with salt and flavoured with a hint of salmonella

Followed by   Doofur Pudding

An intricate latticework of caramel and chocolate teased into a circle and filled with the finest dairy cream gently squirted from a precise distance of 9.25 inches

Delightful

Now I know i'm going to open myself up to some p1ss take here but imo one of the best sites on the WWW is ..

http://www.deliaonline.com/

Its got some great recipes and a handy shopping list feature.... cool eh??

Ermm hmm erm.. i'll get mi coat

I cant think of Delia without hearing the daft bint giving it the "Lets be having you" speech at half time during a Norwich match...what was she thinking ffs !!!

read this this afternoon and wondered why you had squirty cream and a cucumber lol and you dont wanna know what the mrs remarked about the "teething ring" lol seems robert had the same idea lol

But note the crushingly predictable adjectives as used in posh restaurants the world over.....

tender.....lovingly...bed of......lightly....hint of.....teased.......gently.

It's never tough.....plonked on.....dolloped......loads of....3 spoonfuls or 4.......please youself then.

Don't you just hate marketing speak? It's the assumption that we are all stupid that grates so.

"Fresh eggs" too......

I love those adverts for "limited edition" (about 10 million) plates from the Franklin mint that you see on the back of magazines, its the ads themselves that are works of art

The shopping channel sales people are the absolute best at all that marketing talk.  And they do it live!  Hilarious but clearly it works or they wouldn't be able to sell cr*p for higher prices than you can get it for in the shops.

My nan buys from them and says "It must be good 'coz that nice young girl says she even uses it herself it's so good."  ??? ??? ???

We do get some threads on here, eh?

what about "medallions " of pork
tatsy peices of  a porker and perfectly acceptable along with potatoes and seasonal veg for a filling daytime meal - agreed

highly decorative trinkets of jewellrey , worn round the neck of hairy chested men in their fifties to retain some semblence of youth - no !! i just aint having it

I like, "now that your're old, set a little aside to cover your funeral exspenses, and we will give you this handsome carraige clock......"

Next time I want to go parachuting or doing gymnastics I'm off to the chemist to buy some woman's sanitary items.

Talking of tv ads, while in Vegas i caught an ad for the american version of viagra... when giving out all the possible side effects they finished with   " in the event of an erection lasting over 4 hours, please seek immediate medical assistance"  i couldnt stop laughing for ages.

The Logo on all the poker tables used in the WSOP was a Viagra variant.........!

I can picture it now... Naughty Nurse with latex gloves ...trying to solve the problem

Such thoughts from a nun ... i hope you are saying a few hail mary's  :o

4 hours.  I'd want me money back.

I've been wearing em for weeks and I still cant swim or ride a bike