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Poker Forums => The Rail => Topic started by: Mokers on August 19, 2006, 08:28:17 PM



Title: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Mokers on August 19, 2006, 08:28:17 PM
"Don't blame me, they were suited!"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: AdamM on August 19, 2006, 08:29:37 PM
"If it wasn't for luck I guess I'd win every time" PH


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: 4KingNutz on August 19, 2006, 08:44:21 PM
" Just stop youre moning and play the dam game FOOL! "


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Swordpoker on August 19, 2006, 08:55:41 PM
"aw no, I got sword at my table!"

 :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Colchester Kev on August 19, 2006, 09:32:29 PM
"Reload Mug !!"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Eck on August 19, 2006, 09:42:47 PM
"Where's Kev?"   rotflmfao


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: 77dave on August 19, 2006, 10:00:28 PM
I know im behind but im gonna call


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: TightEnd on August 19, 2006, 10:02:29 PM
I had to call for the value


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: 77dave on August 19, 2006, 10:08:20 PM
its an extra 16% for soooted


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Robert HM on August 19, 2006, 10:14:31 PM
"Is mfi still in?"

"I think I'm behind but....."


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: TightEnd on August 19, 2006, 10:20:20 PM
I broke even on my trip to Vegas  :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: bolt pp on August 19, 2006, 11:12:54 PM
Nearly had a straight


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: NoflopsHomer on August 19, 2006, 11:27:41 PM
Oops.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: brad.strider on August 19, 2006, 11:44:51 PM
what did you have?


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Bongo on August 20, 2006, 12:50:24 AM
I just had these
"nice call bongo with no pot odds"
"lol, your a muppet"

Awesome!



Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: bolt pp on August 20, 2006, 02:21:06 AM
sorry


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ariston on August 20, 2006, 07:48:00 AM
chips!
rebuy!
I think I'm beat but I have to call/ I think you've got me but I have to see (my personal favourite)
You called me with what? (usually aimed at Thewy after someones mucking aces shaking their heads)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: madasahatstand on August 20, 2006, 10:50:30 AM
im down but not  out!

someone pass me a bucket of water cause he is on fire

nice kicker


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Indestructable on August 20, 2006, 11:00:04 AM
unlucky mate....


as he leaves the table, wait until he is out of earshot, what a  ;fish;


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ifm on August 20, 2006, 11:02:31 AM
From Robertfish:-

"one more anyone?"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ifm on August 20, 2006, 11:06:52 AM
There was one i think RED posted a while back by Des "bling bling" Jonas, it went something like:-

"you can go now kid, the dreams over" after a young lad sat a bit stunned after he had just been knocked out of a fessie main event.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: feedthegoat on August 20, 2006, 11:14:34 AM
I knew you had that (usually said after a shocking call).


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ruthless1 on August 20, 2006, 11:53:19 AM
Mateyboy" do you want to do a deal"?

Me" i tell you what, if you can beat me you can have £900, if you dont then you get 2nd"

some muppet on my table that tried to boss me about, he came second!!!


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Enzyme_ on August 20, 2006, 01:15:48 PM
74os The card of Gods!


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: CelticGeezeer on August 20, 2006, 01:17:20 PM
In response to a "how could you call with that Muppet"


reply "You pay to see, lessons cost extra"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: thetank on August 21, 2006, 01:48:15 PM
At the end of a single table tournament, the blinds were bingo hefty. My opponent was growing frustrated at my consistant all-in aggression.....

Matey-Boy : Do you think we could play some poker.

tigmong : Ok, but lets finish this sit n go first.  ;D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: geeforce1 on August 21, 2006, 03:35:30 PM
(refering to Ak vs AQ all in preflop)

we had the same hand basically


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: dino1980 on August 21, 2006, 03:52:01 PM
Thank you please come again.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Rookie (Rodney) on August 21, 2006, 05:43:43 PM
In the voice of alan partridge

"thanks very much!"

"back of the net"

"in off the red"

"cashback"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: NoflopsHomer on August 21, 2006, 05:45:10 PM
"Flushy, come and join the cash game."


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: turny on August 21, 2006, 05:48:12 PM
you're rubbish?


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: simonow on August 21, 2006, 07:38:46 PM
My Favorite is Dave Barnes constant moan when he gets outdrawn by a new player "F*&@ing Internet Players"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: AlrightJack on August 21, 2006, 07:47:01 PM
"Ship it"

"I'm Barry from Sheffield, who the f-bomb are you?"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Boba Fett on August 21, 2006, 08:09:37 PM
Table I was at, 1 guy goes all in with KK and gets a call from a guy with JJ.  Mr. JJ hits the case J on the river for the outdraw and is bertaed for his call by the departing player, when the player leaves, Mr. JJ says "Ive got Jacks, Im not folding them.  The way I see it Jacks V Kings is a 50/50"

*flop* "Mission impossible" *Turn* "Mission possible!!!" *River* "Mission F*cked!"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: GlasgowBandit on August 21, 2006, 08:14:28 PM

 Mr. JJ says "Ive got Jacks, Im not folding them.  The way I see it Jacks V Kings is a 50/50"


 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Thats quality, I wasn't even there but I think thats my best ever quote I've been told about.

You must point this muppet out Boba so I know i'm in front when he says its 50/50


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Dingdell on August 21, 2006, 10:27:39 PM
Matey boy to me in a live game "You play like a girl"

me "thank god - I thought these boobs were just stuck on"

he tilted out not long after  ;D ;D



Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: bhoywonder on August 21, 2006, 11:38:16 PM
'look,I had outs'


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Acidmouse on August 21, 2006, 11:46:54 PM
My 1st live game I got knocked out by a blind 80 year old women (I jest not). She hit runner runner flush to knock me out, and was suprised she had won by saying

"Ohh good I saw my red cards and hoped they were diamonds".


I coudn't stop laughing she was serious. o'rly? yahhhhhhhh


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Jinky04 on August 22, 2006, 12:48:27 AM
Guy calling John Higgin's all-in at a comp in cincins:

"You're snookered mate!"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Royal Flush on August 22, 2006, 04:09:43 AM
Guy calling John Higgin's all-in at a comp in cincins:

"You're snookered mate!"

Love it!


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: boldie on August 22, 2006, 09:13:15 AM
Guy calling John Higgin's all-in at a comp in cincins:

"You're snookered mate!"

very funny at Stanleys.. John Higgins just knocked out of the comp...in walks this karaoke singer (massive muppet) and tells John "You know... I like snooker but was quite a pool player myself"...John of course has heard this crap many a time and you can see him think something along the lines of "Please  God let me Die!". The the guy says "So you like the poker then?" John says with a straight face "Yeah but I'm more of a bridge player myself" ....


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: tantrum on August 22, 2006, 11:30:25 AM
"Oh yeah? Well as soon as I get some more money on this account, I'll kick your ass heads up. Can anyone transfer me $5 please?'

"they were  sooted"

"Speaking of bad calls, God made a bad call when he made your face. Like you said I made a bad call and your face, that's also a bad call. By God. The making your face the way he did. Which is worse than my call. Because you're ugly, and it's God's fault.'

'God, I am surrounded by bingo twats'



Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: mjrevie on August 22, 2006, 11:51:08 AM

 Mr. JJ says "Ive got Jacks, Im not folding them.  The way I see it Jacks V Kings is a 50/50"


 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Thats quality, I wasn't even there but I think thats my best ever quote I've been told about.

You must point this muppet out Boba so I know i'm in front when he says its 50/50

That might have been me  ;D. Everytime i outdraw someone i like to wind them up with crazy statements like that. In a tournie I had AQ v AK once and outdrew the guy. After i told the guy it was a 50-50 - either i'll hit my queen or you'll hit your king. Fairly simple logic i thought  8). The guy went totally off the handle callin me everything under the sun. Four hands later, I had all his chips when he called my Kings with QJo.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: goonner on August 22, 2006, 02:00:17 PM
My all time favourite comes from the GS club a couple of years ago.

It was the last hand  before the freeze-out of a £50 re-buy.
The player to my right is the BB and on the phone to his other half.
He checks the flop next to act goes all-in, next player all-in, back to the BB
Who says into the phone.

“hold on a sec love 2 players have gone all-in and I have the nuts so I have to call” ;karabiner;


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: matt674 on August 22, 2006, 02:10:47 PM
Dunno about "favourite" but there are two that always wind me up when typed in the chatbox online:

"Sorry" - No your not, you are sat there starring at your screen having just made the worst call since the dawn of internet poker and you are stunned that your bad play has been rewarded, you laughed out loud when the third running card on the river gave you that virtually impossible backdoor draw and now you are sat there with a big grin on your face. You clapped twice as the chips were being slid in your direction and at this moment you are giving the air a quick fist pump by way of celebration. The last thing on your mind is the welfare of the person whom you have just outdrawn - namely me!!!

"good game" (or more commonly just "gg") - GOOD?!?!? GOOD?!?!? Please explain what is so "GOOD" about it? You've just seen me be on the wrong end of the biggest travesty of justice since this pokerroom began trading, you've just witnessed me lose to a runner runner runner gutshot straight when we are only 3 places off the money - how pray tell is this "good" from my perspective?

Of course i'm a good loser really - honest  0:-)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Rod Paradise on August 22, 2006, 02:18:48 PM
Matt joins M3boy on Rod's list of people he wants to outdraw at BB3 - I think I'll need to wear a tshirt with "Sorry - GG" on it  :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ifm on August 22, 2006, 02:23:19 PM
I think the gg bit is just good manners.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: The_nun on August 22, 2006, 02:26:56 PM
Let's not talk about outdrawing ..aye IFM... 8)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: matt674 on August 22, 2006, 02:33:18 PM
Matt joins M3boy on Rod's list of people he wants to outdraw at BB3 - I think I'll need to wear a tshirt with "Sorry - GG" on it  :D

by all means take your best shot squire - if you want to stick all your chips in against me with the worst hand you will get no complaints from me ;)





Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Rod Paradise on August 22, 2006, 02:42:32 PM
Matt joins M3boy on Rod's list of people he wants to outdraw at BB3 - I think I'll need to wear a tshirt with "Sorry - GG" on it  :D

by all means take your best shot squire - if you want to stick all your chips in against me with the worst hand you will get no complaints from me ;)





 :D :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Phil on August 22, 2006, 02:52:32 PM
I overheard a guy at an adjacent table to mine mine annouce "I know I'm behind, but I'm pretty sure I'll outdraw you"...

couple of seconds later his mates shouts "Did you you outdraw him then?" to which he replies "No... the lucky fish".


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: thetank on August 22, 2006, 02:53:17 PM
gg

From me it's not good manners, 99% of the time I use it, it is with malicious intent.

I've just beat someone, and I wish to rub it in to trump up my own self importance.

The problem is, now I can't take it back. Every time someone says "gg" to me, it pierces like a knife to the dangly bits.
I judge everyone by my own sordid standards, and assume they are saying "gg" for the exact same reasons I do.

It never comes as a comfort, the only thing that will ever make it up for me, is one more game of poker before I go to bed.

This time, I wanna win and get in the gg before the software shuts down the table, and my ability to chat. Thank Gawd, I can type it quickly. My compliments to the person who decided that the words "good" and "game" were to begin with the same letter. Makes it nice and simple for me to underline the win.


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Boba Fett on August 22, 2006, 06:15:16 PM

 Mr. JJ says "Ive got Jacks, Im not folding them.  The way I see it Jacks V Kings is a 50/50"


 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Thats quality, I wasn't even there but I think thats my best ever quote I've been told about.

You must point this muppet out Boba so I know i'm in front when he says its 50/50

That might have been me  ;D. Everytime i outdraw someone i like to wind them up with crazy statements like that. In a tournie I had AQ v AK once and outdrew the guy. After i told the guy it was a 50-50 - either i'll hit my queen or you'll hit your king. Fairly simple logic i thought  8). The guy went totally off the handle callin me everything under the sun. Four hands later, I had all his chips when he called my Kings with QJo.

Wasnt you  :p


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: londonpokergirl on August 22, 2006, 07:23:08 PM
funniest quote i had was a guy who will remain nameless but from brighton rendevous

asked me to lean my cleavage further over the table to see if i had his nuts  0:-)

bad poker man :)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: BigTomatoes on August 23, 2006, 03:51:15 PM

 thers a guy i play with regular always asks
 
 '' if i fold will you show me ? ''

 thing is if you say yes , he usually folds ,so when im bluffing i say yes and if i have the nuts i tell jim ill let him pick 1.

 just to get him thinking more when i show him the  4c on a  Kc  Ad  4d  Jc  2c board    rotflmfao


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: matt674 on August 23, 2006, 03:54:39 PM

 thers a guy i play with regular always asks
 
 '' if i fold will you show me ? ''

 thing is if you say yes , he usually folds ,so when im bluffing i say yes and if i have the nuts i tell jim ill let him pick 1.

 just to get him thinking more when i show him the  4c on a  Kc  Ad  4d  Jc  2c board    rotflmfao

Note to self:- If at BigTomatoes table at BBIII ask him "if i fold will you show me?". If he says yes then call.......  If he says i can pick one fold quicker than a cheap deckchair......... ;)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: boldie on August 23, 2006, 04:35:29 PM

 thers a guy i play with regular always asks
 
 '' if i fold will you show me ? ''

 thing is if you say yes , he usually folds ,so when im bluffing i say yes and if i have the nuts i tell jim ill let him pick 1.

 just to get him thinking more when i show him the  4c on a  Kc  Ad  4d  Jc  2c board    rotflmfao


that's the old bluff i read about in a cash game...guy holds 72 off...2 Aces hit the board and the other guy holds a decent hand. guy with 7-2 moves all in and other guy is thinking (surely not) so 7-2 guy says "Pay me 25$ and I'll show you one...you can even pick which one"...Guy pays 25$ picks the 7 and thinks...he knows what I've got so he wouldn't make this bet this way...and mucks the hand...


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: BigTomatoes on August 23, 2006, 05:35:28 PM

 thers a guy i play with regular always asks
 
 '' if i fold will you show me ? ''

 thing is if you say yes , he usually folds ,so when im bluffing i say yes and if i have the nuts i tell jim ill let him pick 1.

 just to get him thinking more when i show him the  4c on a  Kc  Ad  4d  Jc  2c board    rotflmfao

Note to self:- If at BigTomatoes table at BBIII ask him "if i fold will you show me?". If he says yes then call.......  If he says i can pick one fold quicker than a cheap deckchair......... ;)

Note to self - if Matt asks '' if I fold will you show me ? ''  if bluffing offer him a banana , if holding the nuts say yes.  :dontask:


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: maccol on August 24, 2006, 04:41:18 AM
hi boys and girls
long time reader 1st time poster
had to add this gem..........
"Id rather be lucky than good"............
bust out two hands later
 :)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: matt674 on August 24, 2006, 07:23:41 AM
 :hello: & ;welcome; maccol


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Robert HM on August 24, 2006, 10:51:49 AM
Welcome to the forum


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: palacedeano on August 24, 2006, 05:31:55 PM
Hi,

Another long time reader but first post, had to register as my favourite comment of all time has not been mentioned.

Devilfish playing rags flops the nut straight on TV against some spotty student who (if my memory serves me correctly) holds an overpair - devilfish puts him all-in and says "there's no shame in passing lad"  said spotty student then immediately calls off his whole stack


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Robert HM on August 24, 2006, 05:40:14 PM
Welcome to you as well, is thee a Crystal Palace fan?


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: ACE2M on August 24, 2006, 05:50:27 PM
"Bingo closed tonight mate?"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: palacedeano on August 24, 2006, 06:13:16 PM
Welcome to you as well, is thee a Crystal Palace fan?

For my sins - sure bloody


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Robert HM on August 24, 2006, 06:22:48 PM
Welcome to you as well, is thee a Crystal Palace fan?

For my sins - sure bloody

Sorry about last Tueday  8)

(At last Notts County make me proud again)



Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: rajkan on August 24, 2006, 06:33:22 PM
crap dealer


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: tantrum on August 24, 2006, 07:17:09 PM
'you are one sutpid mother @ @ %%er if
you didnt ahve the A of clubs....im done!!'


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Royal Flush on August 24, 2006, 11:11:40 PM
Welcome to you as well, is thee a Crystal Palace fan?

For my sins - sure bloody

Sorry about last Tueday  8)

(At last Notts County make me proud again)



You got lucky.


Still 9 points from 4 games will do us :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: londonpokergirl on August 24, 2006, 11:47:50 PM
crap dealer

i prefer the reverse of that quote "i love u dealer" ;)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: RED-DOG on August 25, 2006, 12:44:19 AM
Just had a great one on Stars

"One of the letters on my keyboard doesn't work, I silled a cu of tea on it"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: greenpig on August 25, 2006, 03:19:18 AM
obviously "come on russian get out.....your careers over.....you called all in with king jack.......sammy you know you cant over play king jack" Tony G to ralph perry (on youtube) lol


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: bolt pp on August 25, 2006, 05:17:24 AM
obviously "come on russian get out.....your careers over.....you called all in with king jack.......sammy you know you cant over play king jack" Tony G to ralph perry (on youtube) lol

 ;D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Claw75 on August 27, 2006, 10:10:08 PM
don't know how long it came for this guy to come up with it, but it was genius.  Just got knocked out of a MTT and the guy responsible said:

u r out


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: I, Zimbra on August 28, 2006, 12:15:56 AM
don't know how long it came for this guy to come up with it, but it was genius.  Just got knocked out of a MTT and the guy responsible said:

u r out

I imagine this one in the voice of some kind of neanderthal man... sort of the poker equivalent of "Fee Fi Fo Fum?"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Indestructable on August 28, 2006, 05:45:11 PM
It's not worth arguing over it, you take the 100 chips
No you take them
No you take them
No you take them
No you take them
No you take them
 ;goodvevil;


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Royal Flush on August 29, 2006, 03:33:56 AM
"Ship the flour to Jack Bauer" - Pab

"Ship the Corn to Jason Bourne" - the obvious reply :D


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Colchester Kev on August 29, 2006, 11:39:05 AM
"Ship it to the fat lad from Colchester"


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Indestructable on August 29, 2006, 05:14:46 PM
How could he go all in with
 Qh Ks
to nick one blind!!


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: basin on August 29, 2006, 05:33:23 PM
all in with deuce six off, why not? I just got bail ;)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: thetank on August 29, 2006, 06:08:34 PM
John, Paul, George and Ringo,
gamblings cool except for Bingo.  8)


Title: Re: Favourite quote at the poker table
Post by: Swordpoker on August 29, 2006, 07:57:24 PM
After a nasty outdraw:

'sorry'
"THEN GIVE IT BACK!"
'I'm not that sorry'