blonde poker forum

Write a short Obituary of yourself.

I'm gonna do one, but I'd like to see a few other first.

Just brief - how you'd like to be remembered, or, worse, how you probably would be remembered.

Go on - I dare you.

I don't know about my obituary but my epitah will probably be ...

Silly bitch smoked in bed
Burnt the duvet now she's dead


 ;D

It all depends on whether they'd read the will first.  :D >:(

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candle-stick
Silly boy, he should have jumped higher
Goodness gracious
Great Balls of Fire.

 ;angel; ;angel; ;angel; ;angel; ;angel;

Seriously though, I've never done anything momentous, but I'd like to think my friends and family would remember me as a shoulder to cry on whenever it was needed.

I see you've done Robert HM's already.

"I told you I was ill" - Spike M

Not quite what you asked for, but I would like to be remembered as someone who helped people to appreciate life. To see  the wonder and beauty in the seemingly mundane and familiar things around them. To take a step back and look at life again, and this time, see it for the privilege that it truly is.

on my head stone.,.,

"fook me ,,,,...where did he go"
,,.,,thats his best trick ever.,.,.,

everything ok tony?

I've got a way to go to get there, but I'd like to be remembered as someone that lived my life to the full and made the most of the opportunities that came my way.  If I get knocked over by a bus tomorrow I'm afraid I'll be remembered for having done nothing much.

!

I was reading about some famous geezer who died recently, & wrote his own obit, somewhat tongue-in-cheek too, & I rather enjoyed it.

Saves me getting more depressed thinking about what I haven't done.

he went like a train....

I've already beat you to that one!

on mine....

stiff as usual

"Outdrawn"

or

"succumbed to the ultimate downswing, variance sucks"

I remember Spike Milligan being interviewed in the six months or so before he died and the interviewer asked him if he was afraid of dying. Spike's reply was a cracker I thought:

"No, but I just don't want to be there when it happens"

You can have "embalmed in death, just as pickled as in life"

i only want to be buried if my coffin has a lifetime guarantee

While we're on the subject. I have a few quid scattered around on various poker sites. If I were to shuffle of this mortal coil, my family wouldn't know where to look for it or who to contact. I wonder how many poker players buy the farm without cashing in their chips?

Also, who among you has made a will?

A trusted friend has my passwords

Yep, willed up but would you expect anything less

"He came to party, He tried his best"

She lived life, loved it and was happy throughout. 

On her death, the Devil is hoping and the angels do doubt. 

If i win i always cash out Tom. We have made a will but needs to be adjusted.

She ever could please everyone but she died trying.

Were straying into epitaphs now, but they're still interesting.

I believe that somebody on the forum would come up with

Snat - Thank god he has finally shut up

Thought the same thing after I posted.  Will think on it some more and get back to you. 

I was thinking more along the lines of:

Impossible shoes to fill.

Snatty hopes heaven doesn't have a dress code.

whatsisname will be sadly missed  by everyone from the Alzheimers society

Bloke in his 70s goes back to the mill where he worked as a boy to see his old mucker.

"Is Joe about please?"

"You've just missed him, He's gone to fetch a bale of cotton"

"Well tell him I'll call again tomorrow"

The next day, he tries again.


"Is Joe about please?"

"You've just missed him, He's gone to fetch a bale of cotton"


This goes on all week, until, on Saturday morning...


"Is Joe about please?"

"I'm sorry, he's dead and buried"

"Omg! That was quick. Can I at least visit his grave?"

He visits the grave, on the tombstone are these words...

"Here lies Old Joe, gone, but not for cotton."   ;marks;

 rotflmfao rotflmfao

I wonder if 400 years down the line people will be reading the threads on this forum from this time and wondering if flushy ever got a life partner, red-dog ever played a ladbrokes comp he never cashed in and if sark ever got round to writing a book about his favorite type of cactus.

Lest my death not be in vain.. I found out pokerstars was rigged proof under second set of flowers on left.. lee jones killed me.

"Fk my life."

It's always a good idea to keep your Wills up to date. I was helping my parents to sort out their estates (just in case, as my Father just retired) and in their respective Wills it states that in the event of both dying that my uncle gets custody of my brother and I.

That's nice to know as both of us are over 30, married and the Bruv has kids of his own!

Does that mean I can bump them off and then quit my job and live with my Uncle?

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the poker community.

Chezger Duke died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated bat beats He was 88.

Duke was buried in a pint glass shaped coffin. The gravesite was piled high with empty bottles of Corona NFL.

Attendants at the graveside included the 186 year old head of Worldwide Media Inc, TK who took time off controlling all of the world's television. Also there to pay respects was Red-Dog the new CEO of Countryside Ownership & Dodgy Photo's Ltd.

Father Jack delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Duke as a man who never knew how much he had drank, never fell down and was always ready for a laugh.

Various members of the “Ladies Dancing Community” were also in attendance bemoaning loss of income.

He was not considered a very smart man, wasting much of his money on silly draws, bad reads, liquid gold and loose women. Despite being a little off the pace at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a role model for many to aspire to.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 2 minutes out of respect for the maximum time he ever spent in a poker tournament.

Way to go Duke!

RIP   ;tightend; ;tightend;

You missed a bit off the end.

"The duke, a firm believer in reincarnation, died peacefully.  The last words to pass his lips were: "Let's go round again!".

Tom that gag really made me p155 myself "gone but not for cotton"   class.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,

off topic.,,..,,.

there was a poetry competition in australia,and it was down to the last 2 finalists
1 a priest the other a labourer
the last final word comes up to make a poem out of this
                                                 
                                                         """TIMBUKTU"""
the priest is first up and comes up with this classic all in an aussie accent

ive been a priest all of my life,
ive had no kids coz ive had no wife,
ive read the good book through and through,
all the way to """TIMBUKTU """

the crowd goes wild hooray its the best la,de,da,de,da..,.,,.etc

the labourer turn in an aussie accent

now me and my mate Tim,we were  in a tent,
three girls were sent down,they were heaven sent,
we drank fosters larger all night through
i bucked one,and TIMBUKTU 

try and remember that when your p1553d

Now i'm on tilt

The reading of his last will and testament will be on Tuesday morning. I am sure you are all dying to know who will get the two comics, and to whom he has left the balloon.

 ;indestructable;    i'll have the balloon....

He was a keen auto-obituarist, perhaps too keen, updating every time he came back from the toilet.

spike wins  hands down, everytime.

Yesterday the grim reaper finally caught up with that tricky little bugger known as Flea.

His greatest achievement was his son and managing to live as long as he did, death had stalked him for a while but Flea was always a jump ahead until he finally got caught by the 3.45 to Cheltenham whilst trying to tie his laces on the platform.

He leaves behind a house,a car and a shoe.

His epitaph will read "where's the tra......".

I'll be back.....

Here possibly lies RobGibraltar, undefeated hide and seek champion.

Fuck.

your life ??

Bahaha. Some beauties in the blonde archive.

For a lot of people, their EPITAPH will be

"He never knew what an obituary is"

Despite that, much win ITT

Deal him out for a while.

5 years on and tikay still hasn't done his.

We could say that some have been waiting longer ;)