blonde poker forum

Made this earlier (in fairness the gf made it all), what do we think?  Strengths/weaknesses?

Marks out of 10?

Any questions/queries of the ingredient selection?

Thats a fkin belter mate ... the combination of fried and scrambled is just genius.

Get rid of the poofy bowl of stones though ... and i assume that there was some more toast on the way.

9/10 imo.

Fried egg and scrambled egg!

The sausages need to be brown all over and not with a pink stripe down the middle imo .
10/10 presentation
8/10 Ingredients

9/10 overall marks

Congrats on having a wonderful G/F

Points need to be deducted for lack of black pudding, I'm afraid.

Otherwise, a good effort.

She's a keeper.

What no Chips !!

Potato waffles not acceptable?

HASH BROWNS!!!!!

Very good effort. 7/10
Marked down for
- lack of black pudding
- potato waffles over potato cakes or hash browns
- Tomatoes - no need for any hint of goodness on the plate

Remember what Tikay says " When cooking a big fry-up  Put the chips in first , then the sausages"

black pudding missing so 5/10

Ha(r)sh surely, how can 1 missing item lose 5 points?

You appear to have a rather stumpy sausage.  :D

Harsh deduction because there is congealed pigs blood missing off the plate !!

I knocked a mark off for the tomatoes, also knocked a mark off for the waffle (hash brown ftw) ... but gave 1 mark back for the fried/scrambled combo.


With the addition of toast, OJ and a Brew, 9/10 is justified imo.

4 for me, 3 for her, one for the dog...  :)

yep i agree, none in the shop though...  Had to make do with waffles, totally understand a 1/2 point deduction for this...

Essential instead of waffles, that would take it to 10/10 imo.......

Not a big fan of stumpy sausages and obv missing hashbrowns, however dual egg action and quality presentation makes it a 9.16/10 for me

It's a great effort.  I would personally prefer hash browns to waffles and I'd also add black pudding.  I'm glad you didn't include chips.  Chips for breakfast is a form of culinary miscegenation that shouldn't be condoned.  What are the orange things.  For a second I thought they were carrots and experienced mild outrage.

8/10

is she available to cook breakfast every morning?

if so , shes a keeper :)

make sure you return the favour!

Fried cherry tomatoes...

Oh OK.  Phew.

Tomatoes are fine, provided they are treated as decoration not food.

Quality double eggage compensates for the slightly gay waffle and absence of black pudding.

The jarringly plebian and utterly redundant presence of tomato ketchup is a nice touch of post-modern irony, given its close proximity to the essential HP sauce.

9+/10

where are the tattie scones?

The HP sauce looks suspiciously of the BBQ variety, traditionalists could make you down heavily....

great sentence

+1..very poetic.

and I now want a fry-up.

Tomato sauce was used when the beans started to run low, official reports can confirm the BBQ sauce remained untouched until the last sausage was started, when a little was added...

Honestly, that looks the bollocks!  Pop round next Sunday will you!

I apologise. I just cant help myself.

10/10 for giving the dog your stumpy sausage.

Left hand coffee looks slightly overfilled leading to possible spillage or slurpage.

Black pudding is no problem for me. Waffles are a fine substitute for hash browns so only a small deduction here.

Overall score depends on the beans.

Can I ask are they Heinz or the far superior Branston's variety?

If it's Branston's then 9/10

Heinz - 8/10

Supermarket no label - 6/10

Overall great effort. Definite high quality GF.

A kindred spirit!  Best question ever asked on blonde IMO!

It is a good question, but neither of the 3 options...

They are Marks & Spencer's, not sure if this is good or bad, but they were free, and tasty too...

Made by me I must confess, and yes slightly full, something I always seem to do and am working on my game in that department...

Oh, and its tea, 1 sweetener for the lady. Strong black coffee for me, no sugar, don't even need to stir it...

Looks a good effort but definitely points deduction for no black pudding.That and a slice of haggis and square sausage would secure the perfect 10 from me. As Kev said the waffle is a bit gay but I can't say too much about that as my wife always includes a waffle, personally I would trade the waffle for a slice of fried bread. 
My rating though 8.5/10.

Isn't Red a fry-up fan?  Umm, wonder what he thinks...

After seeing this earlier tonight I decided to treat myself to a HUGE fry up and have felt like a whale washed up on the beach since.

BTW  - points for no mushrooms..a fry up HAS to have mushrooms and black pudding.

looks the bizness m8, im starving now u bastard.
nice table btw although im not too sure on the carpet and the walls look like they could do with some colour tbh, maybe a lick of paint??

10/10 for fry up
7/10 for table carpet and walls imo

Rented accomodation mate, so not spending any money I dont have too!  The walls were painted before we moved in 2 months ago, but yes the carpet is a bit shoddy...

Definately has to have mushrooms, couldn't agree more, they're above the scrambled egg on the right hand plate...

Seems to be a lot of love for black pudding, might have to give it a proper whirl.  No mention of white pudding yet, any fans of that?

I've missed the mushrooms, another mark off but i'm going to give it back for the double egg. That really is inspirational!

I also love white pudding but it is rare so marks can't be taken off for it.

Same as potato cakes?  Had some of them a couple of weeks ago, not bad at all...

mmm I'm hungry now  ;kev;

absolutely no place for beans in a "fry up" - exactly how do you go about frying beans ?

Oh come on, beans are in my top 3 essential fry-up items, gotta have something to dip the meat into, as well as the yolk...

Think your in the minority there Laz...

Sorry to disappoint, but this fry up is far from perfect.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good effort and all that, and I would be very happy to eat it, but if we're measuring it against the mythical "Perfect" fry up it falls a long way short.

I will now proceed to list just a couple of the many shortcomings, but before I do, can I just say please don't get downhearted if my remarks seem harsh. The chances of all the factors coming together at the same time are astronomical.

I will keep my list brief, concentrating on just two of the more important faults. I could go on to list perhaps a dozen or so more, but I have no desire to extinguish the bright spark of culinary aptitude that obviously burns so brightly within you.

1: Beans.

Beans have no place on a fry up. They are not fried, plus they are extremely mobile and prone to making everything on the plate taste beanfide. Also, they have a propensity to induce involuntary emission of noxious gas within an alarmingly short period post consumption. Now while this phenomenon occurring as part of ones own digestive process is not undesirable and indeed can often be quite relaxing in an a holistic, mood-enhancing sort of way, any positive benefits are immediately offset by the suspicion that your dining partner may have surreptitiously contributed to the aroma.

2: Both chairs facing the wall. Rookie mistake.

The perfect breakfast must be eaten in peace and tranquility, without fear of being accosted from behind by policemen with outstanding warrents for your arrest, random nippers, or irate jealous husbands bent on retribution. Also,try to remember that the dining experience can be enhanced by the view from a window, and the possibility of watching someone who is working outside and being rained upon. (If the oportunity arises, try to point out to them that you are indoors eating a fry up, and they are not).

As you can see from these brief pointers, attention to detail is everything. You have much to learn.

I have invested 50 years of my life in diligent (Some might say fanatical) persuit of the perfect fry up, and I feel duty bound to continue. To actually find it at this late stage would be something of an anticlimax, and would rob my twilight years of propose and direction.

I wish good luck to the brave soul who might venture to pry the perfect fry up quest batton from my greasy fingers when I shuffle off this mortal coil. (The smart money will be in my daughter Sadie) Until then. may the pleasure remain in the chase, and not the capture.

Red, i'm young and willing to learn. I will only learn by assessing and correcting my faults for next time, detail is not essential if you do not have time, but please bullet point a list of where it went wrong, to absorb information is the way to better yourself.

I must say that I can understand Red and Laz when they say that beans have no place in a fry up.

Whilst I am a big bean fan they do make everything taste beany and can overwhelm some of the finer flavours.

Red could I please ask a question:

In what do you consider the fry up should be fried?

What I mean is unsaturated or saturated fat? Should we be melting lard for the true flavour or have a spray of 1 cal?

In the modern world it's all about low fat, unsaturated fat and low cholesterol but is it worth the risk for a better tasting fry up?

Maybe if we use proper fat then we won't need the beans?

Also is any fry up complete without a fried slice?

I'm also in the no beans in a fry up club. In my mind they are only there to take up space and distract you from thinking about the finer things that could be on the plate instead.

A+++++ red, so comedy.

But fwiw i believe this fry up looks pretty incredible and i am a huge fan of beans in a fry up.

I am a fan of the baked bean, but moderation is key here... no more than 2 tablespoons should ever reach the plate, my biggest phobia is that my egg breaks and the yellow dippy bit is lost amongst bean juice.  

This thread has enlightened me, previously I was a beans with your fry up man, but I've seen the light.....Hallelujah :D

I hesitate to mention, but I'm partial to bubble with the fry up, is this wrong!!!

another problem I can forsee is the the position of the plates and associated unnecessary clutter on the table. Because you have missed one essential element of the fry up - a tabloid newspaper.

just where exactly are you supposed to put your copy of the daily star ?

Agreed. The main reason I took the fried egg up to 'Level 2' for this fry-up. Level two involves the use of leveage, a barrier of sorts, eg, in this case the waffle.  NO danger of a bean juice/egg yolk 'dirty' mix...

Ideally we should use lard, but not new lard.

Re-melt old lard that has been used in previous fry-ups. Add a little fresh lard if necessary to maintain volume, but try to preserve the old lards integrity by never discarding any. Forensic scientists can trace the best lard back through several generations. Indeed, families reared on heirloom lard will carry and pass on dominant, mutated grease gene that has proved more reliable than the standard DNA test from a genetic fingerprinting standpoint.

Fried slice/toast. Both no no's. Bread and butter is essential, but that's a whole nother thread's worth.

WTF????  Both very very essential surely!  One can never have too much toast.

bubble?

no beans cos they arnt fried but bread and butter isnt fried. Im confused what non fried items are allowed on a fry up  just 2 clarify the matter

Bubble & Squeak

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_and_squeak

Please note the picture top right ... if ever that was served to me, the provider would be wearing it LOL

Toast has the wrong texture.   

Fried slice soaks up too much of the precious heirloom lard.

NNNOOOOO!!!!!!!! That's just so wrong!!!! (http://www.thehuddleboard.com/hb/images/smilies/puke.gif)

Surely bubble and squeak should be reserved for monday night dinner, with the leftover veg from a sunday roast??

fyp

Correct. Bubble & Squeak is a different meal entirely.

When cooking Bubble & Squeak it should be fried in a very hot pan until the smoke alarm goes off, Then turn it over, re-set smoke alarm, repeat.

Dust with black pepper and serve with leftover meat/veg from Sunday lunch (Fried obv) and crusty bread with thick butter.

Great effort IMO

Good supply of beans, means good prospects of dunking everything in them throughout the feast.

However, no hash browns really is a schoolboy error.

As mentioned possible lack of toast but double varitaions on the egg is a big plus :)

Assuming that Soccer AM is in viewable range and a good quality paper like the Sun is available ill gladly dish out a solid 9/10 :)

Branston Pickle and HP sauce should also accompany this culinary masterpiece.

I'm firmly in the no bean camp too.  In fact, I don't like any sauce at all with my fry up - the only runny thing I want on my plate is the egg yolk.  My perfect fry up would be:

fried eggs x2
bacon
sausage
black pud
mushrooms
potato scone
toast
tea and OJ

'twas a sunday, and can't get back into soccer Am after Lovejoy put me off after about a year when he suddenly realised he was semi-famous thus should act the twa*t...

No scrambled egg?

Very valid point :)

indeed, Red is some sort of Master Chef

I think you guys should have a fry off this weekend, the best pic wins as voted by members.

I would be happy to replace one of the fried eggs with some scrambled.

I like the idea of a fry-off. Pics in by midday Saturday, fiver entry (to be held in escrow by AdamG). Winner takes all judged by 12 good men blondes.

All entrants agree to abide by the jury's verdict

My fry-up must, I say MUST contain very well-fried, flat field mushrooms (the mushrooms should be flat not the field they come from). Anybody that boils mushrooms for a fry-up has forfeited their right to life imo.

I hesitate to add (as no-one else seems to have mentioned it) that a tin of tomatoes fried in the residue grease from everything else, with lots of salt and pepper, then placed squarely upon the bacon is the crowning glory to any fry-up.

2 runny eggs, 2 rashers, 2 rounds of unbuttered bread (1 for yolk-dipping duty, 1 for tomato juice soakage).


And a fry-up is for Sunday mornings only ldo.

I thank you.

QFMFT :)up

Tinned tomatoes should not be allowed within 100 miles of a fry up, if tomatoes are necessary (though they really shouldnt be) i medium sized Tomato should be halved and stuck in the frying pan with the bacon.

just to repeat, tinned tomatoes are just plain wrong !! 

AM I IMAGINING THIS? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ADVOCATING THE INCLUSION OF FRESH FRUIT/VEGETABLES?

MATRON!!!

NO !!

Apologies - but suggesting fresh above tinned?

any kind of tomato in a fry up is the work of the devil

AMEN.

 :goodpost: ;iagree;

WTF? Without egg it aint a fry up I'm afraid, egg is the centerpiece, without its a mixed grill or something else altogether. NO ARGUMENTS!

No fried bread, no black pudding no mushrooms, no tatty cakes  2.5/10

A 6 page thread about a fry up ... I love blonde :)

I really hope as suggested, others take a pic of their efforts so the panel of culinary experts can offer advice and mark the fry ups out of 10.


QUALITY THREAD 

Does have mushrooms FFS!  Above the scrambled egg, right hand plate. Push back up to 4/10?  Harsh lessons to be learned from this...

I was shocked by all the high scores early on in this thread, granted I wouldnt decline to enjoy such a fry up but getting silly giving 9/10 etc is wild without the inclusion of black pudding.  I agree with some of Red's comments RE beans however I always include a small amount, the amount included in this particular fry up is obseen.  Fried bread is a must, sliced white buttered bread is also desirable if you enjoy toast this is to be eaten at the end.  I also enjoy a solitary tomato of the tinned variety (i'm slimming) to be included with 2 bacon, 2 cumberland sausages (plain is fine but i like the edge cumberland adds...feel free to flame as many disagree with the use of cumberland) 1 fried egg, scrambled egg, small portion of baked beans (need to be cooked in pan used for bacon, sausage, fried bread etc after majority of fat drained for reuse) mushrooms chopped finely and cooked quickly and obviously black pudding and fried bread!  Toast for afters if your still hungry.

PS 6/10

7.97/10.

Looks awesome, BUT i completly agree with Red that beans have no place here.

I also think there could be more toast,

mainly tho... WHERE THE HELL IS THE SALT?. Need copius amounts of salt on board. An absolute must!

I still maintain it looks awesome tho.

FWIW i now understand why you moved from home...

omg, let me know when she is doing the next one !!!

9/10 for, a little to much beans and no Black Pudding..

This is no food.


For animals yes.

Wassup, not enough snails?

(http://web.cornell.edu/studentblogs/ben/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/frog-legs-jpg.jpe)

+1 black pudding a must.

I think one of the things that made me laugh the most in the last month or so, was the rubdown Spacefrog gave flushy when he got knocked out of that french poker event. Brutal but funny regardless.

Agreed "Ros Beef" wasnt amused, but it was damn funny.

''Big talk, 2 French guys make him take walk La Croisette. This I like.''
   
 

''This I like. Ros bif make big talk and out.''
 
 

This a breakfast of Spacefrog

(http://lh4.ggpht.com/_AOxacrZNFnY/SEG-XwkjFXI/AAAAAAAABBc/WE0e0lFd8Bw/IMGP0995.JPG)

3 Gitanes and l'amour. How you make love after thsi english mess?


Merci

Hmmm Our friend has a point

Red X for me...   :dontask:

that a new type of viagra

No he doesn't. "Make love" before ldo.

I am afraid any rumpy pumpy would be out of the question for me  ...  If someone served me a fry up like the one in the opening post, I would have orgasmed as the plate was placed in front of me :)

No black pudding or fried bread, yam a lightweight by Black Country standards!

So many black pudding fans out there.  Is white pudding an irish thing?  Only ever had it there (just tasted like sausage meat)

Life takes over a little and you spend time away from Blonde.

Then you pop in and find 8 pages discussing the virtues of 1 fry up - I love this place.

I look forward to taking part in a fry off.

+1

7/10

Points deducted for Cumberland saus and no black pud.
Tinned toms FTW essential for the juice remnants moppage with last piece of toast/fried slice.

It would appear that kev doesnt need any extra juice on his plate. he may need some extra bread for mopping  up though...

Looks like a challenge to me...Sunday is my day for a Fry Up....

I'm out of action sunday, but I like to think my effort has put a marker down and set the standard to be beaten, cook away gentlemen...

Just started reading this thread and only managed to make it to page 4 before I was in the kitchen cooking up me own this morning. 

1 scrambled egg with fresh herbs and a wee bit of cheese mixed in.
1 fried egg
1 tomato sliced in half fried with fresh basil
1 large flat mushroom fried cup down first, then flip over and add a wee bit of butter and sea salt into the cup.
2 slices of bread not toasted as such, but heated a wee bit in the toaster.
Sea salt and fresh ground pepper.

That's all we had in the fridge at the minute, but normally - no to beans or red sauce and yes to rashers and black pudding.

Fair play to the GF for putting out such a nice spread for ya.  Himself makes our fry up every Sunday morning and our kids bring it to me in bed.  Spacefrog's concerns would have been sorted pre-breakfast.   ;)

 ;gobsmacked;

you got yourself a keeper there!!!

Unusual choice of condiment - I usually just go for a dollop of ketchup but, each to their own.

Lack of black pudding is like falling off the beam in gymnastics - an immediate two point deduction no matter how good the rest of it is.

I am pro-beans, provided they are an addition to the plate, rather than used to cover up the loss of an essential ingredient.

The presence of chips means that the preferred potato element (hash browns) is missing so that's a minus point. Chips + hash browns is unneccesarily potatoey.

Either way, its blood loss one way or another...

I am sooo hungry after catching up with this thread................. all day breakfast here I come.

You mean you're going to be eating fry ups all day?

fatttttttttttttttty



edit: gg rich.

wot u doin up?

He left himself logged in again   rotflmfao

Please rate my fry up - honest and open.  I want to improve as much as I can and although it might hurt at first i would prefer your feedback

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1012Holsandothers0197.jpg)

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1012Holsandothers0198.jpg)

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1012Holsandothers0199.jpg)

No mushrooms or pickled onions. Big mistake IMHO. 8/10

Oh, just seen the mushroom, mistook it for pudding. 9/10

Marks deducted for beans and scant portion of scrambled.  Saved by inclusion of mushroom and hash brown.  9/10

Bacon not crispy enough imo.

Sausages undercooked too?

Despite the inclusion of black pudding i'm not sure I like the look of your selected black pudding.

5/10

at first glance I notice the sausages are a touch underdone, the fried egg on top of the beans WTF !!  thats just wrong, spillage of yolk onto beans is a severe error. I have to go out now, but will re look on my return and assess fully.

By the way .. Maureen Pickled onions ??  have a word with yourself. :)

I agree with scotty. Bacon undercooked, sausages coulda done with a bit longer as well as the fried egg. Oh, and is there a ration on tea in your house? Fill the mug ffs.

4/10

Another thing ... NEVER cut the bread in fkin triangles ffs, women may do it, but if a bloke does it its incredibly gay.  Straight cut across the middle please.

doesnt anyone on blonde eat spam?
spam fotos please.

I've noticed something far more disturbing than the black pudding (yuck!!!) there is a Gordon Ramsey book on the table!

It matters not that this is not his cook book. Celebrity Chef books should never, ever by purchased or accepted as gifts. There is no excuse and no allowance can be made.

All possible points are now void, 0/10.

All above criticism very valid, esp the undercooked sausage/egg on top of beans/gay toast cutting ones.

You need broad shoulders to post your fry up on here.

The plate is far too small. How can you expect to make a decent fry up on that?

You are all to0 fusy. Saying that I am starving owt will do. Kev, pickled onions go so well with a fry up. Don't knock it till you try it.

That's not HP fruity sauce is it?  Say it isn't so...

Thank you for all the comments, I feel that i can take my fry up to the next level and might just include a photo of next sundays for you to critique. 

A few things to clear up...


Brown Sauce
isnt a cookbook its his autobiography and its brilliant i would recommend it.


Full pot of tea out of shot, pretty insulted by this one.  It would be impossible to enjoy such a hearty breakfast without at least two cups of tea!


I feel that this was a fatal error, with a bigger plate i could have spread out the beans and eggs.  I need to invest.


The black pudding was a let down in fairness, i tried some 'taste the difference'.  it was rubbish.

OK, we'll give ya another chance next week. 

Told my crew I wanted to take a picture of Timothy's fry up before they tucked in.  They looked at me like I had 3 heads when they realised I wasn't joking and refused to wait while I tracked down the camera.  Sigh.

Sorry Sov, but if this was served up to me in a Cafe I'd have to send it back, the sausages look too pale, an all round deep tan is required. A well cooked sausage should also be sliced length ways & placed flat in the frying for an extra 2 minutes. I'll give it 5/10.

The Amatay Special...

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2293/2933795101_066241e907.jpg?v=0)

I know it don't look to appealing lol, but trust me on this, i do the best beans of toast.
Gordon Ramsay ain't got shit on me

the only sausage slicing should take place on the plate my friend.dont let those delicious flavours escape too early

Nice at it looks, tho you have ommitted the sliced fresh birds eye chilli's, that ain't no fryup my man.

If you want to experience a fry-up botch job just go to the breakfast buffet of any continental hotel next time you're abroad. Very easy to criticise op's effort, but to me it looks perfectly balanced, and most importantly, quintessentially British. The absence of black pudding and a fried slice are only mild irritants, and not the work of the devil as some have said. How ridiculous. Proper witchcraft is any sausage served at breakfast in Costa del Frankfurter. In fact, everything on your plate is WTF imo!!

Toast? looks like beans on warm bread to me LOL, I hate underdone toast......

wtf is that? you've forgotten to toast the toast, spread the butter into the corners and put the rest of the tin of beans on the plate

1/10 imo

lmao qft.


hahahahahahahaha.

I love this thread.

Surely if the betfair face was ever needed it would be for this monstrosity...

pretty shocked the mods havent frozen this thread.  Amatay that picture is offensive.

I am a fan of the cheese grated on the top, Others add the cheese to the pan and melt it all before serving, Bread looks incredibly cheap, is it a tesco value loaf ??

Ham looks slimy .. and ffs is that one of those half size tins of beans that sad lonely people buy ??

0/10 imo.

I would like to get a wider angle shot of the surface the plate is on

Even the pice of meat at the top, the piece which looks like a monkeys head cut down the middle and 2 eyes has an opinion on this, once he's been rotated...

I prefer proper grilled cheese on toast with the beans thrown on after

with a healthy smothering of reggae reggae sauce. levi roots we salute you.

Soviet -
Mushroom -1
Not enough egg -1
Crispier bacon needed and sausages cooked longer - 1
"camp" bread -0.5
egg on beans -0.5

6/10
I'd say 6 is a pretty standard mark. I probably have alot of 6's but its not the Breakfast i'm dreaming of.

Amaty

No sausage -2
No egg -1
poor toast -0.5
no black pudding -1
no hash browns - 1
dodgy "meat" -0.5
Cheese on beans +0.5
no bacon -2
not looking like a breakfast i'd make the effort to walk downstairs for -1
Thinking this is the business +1

2.5/10

Amatay I'm glad you posted that, i can now comfort myself that there is somone eating worse food than me in the UK.

Thank you for the feedback.  Honestly think the mushroom was a nice touch.  3 eggs were used in total, dont think i could manage four with all the other components but will spend some time thinking about placement and combination for next sunday.

loooooool. I did warn you i didnt look like the most appealing of munch. But TRUST me, its good stuff! Amatay specials all round at BB8 on me.

I know this is going to attract some flak but in my defence,

1. I didn't have much 'in'.

2. I like my bacon pink.

3. My plate is massive!

(http://www3.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/ca61e635581f9b6197da87e1ed2f992b6g.jpg)

gotta say the eggs and mushrooms look good, other than that...erm...i dont like to say

WTF?

reeeeedic overdose on the TK imo. The eggs look nice thou

FK ME !!  I need a lie down before i can comment on that !!  rotflmfao

who'd have thought Amatay's effort would have a challenger so soon?

A+++

Tommy sauce overkill

It's not ketchup yer buffoon! It's beautiful tinned tomatoes...

fyp

Did I set the bar to high with the original post?   :dontask:

dont mean to be rude, my fry up >>>>> your fry up

Great eggs techno but thats a salad not a fry up and for that reason i'm out.

1/10

The public can decide, i see 8/10's at the start of the thread, 6/10's following yours, I aint no Einstein, but........    :dontask:

FMP - Before a lynching takes place...

technolog, that is brutal - remove post please or I'll be recommending a ban

I feel sorry for the end mushroom, its literally crying out for help after being suffocted by what can only be described as a 'doorstep' of hard bread, condolences mr mushroom, gl...

I thought that was a bread shaped coaster or something... you mean that's actually intended to be eaten?  ;surrender;

Hey I found the perfect spot

You've got all the ingredients there, just needed to cook em and you were onto a winner.

What was going through your mind when you decided to slice your bread diagonally?


5/10

cutting bread is bad for you, folding is far safer, any risk assessment will back me up

A lack of OJ to, no excuses for that...

It is indeed pink, is it still alive ?

Nice eggs though, not smeggy like soviets

5/10 would have been 6, but lack of "extras" drinks, condiments etc dropped it by a point.

Yeah, but when did some dry slice of bread become a vital component? I would rather feed that to the ducks than eat it myself.

Good effort from Soviet Song although only one fried egg was a mistake IMO. Still hoping to see a slice of haggis and lorne sausage though. Your bacon looks ideal to me. Seems that you have the beanage just right but the fried egg doesn't belong on top of the beans. Your choice of HP brown sauce is the only brown sauce which should accompany a fry up. 8/10

Amatay - That's just horrible, I'd imagine that is the sort of food served in hell.

Technolog - Tinned tomatoes with any fry up is just so so wrong in the first place let alone have the whole fkin tin on top of the bacon. That gets you less points than Spurs 1/10

 

Have to agree. I reckon it needs at least a few more mins. Love the copy of Gordon Ramsay on the table, nice touch. Just make sure u read it next time

White pudding is common in scotland. Usually served with roast beef or mince or stew etc or served in batter from the chippy.


That black pudding looks disguting.Get some Stornoway black pudding and eat it straight from the fridge.

Sandy

More an East coast thing isn't it?

Black pudding - agreed, the English idea of white cubes of fat in through it is so wrong.

More fry-ups for next sunday please, Kev/Dewi/Tighty/Gatso/Henrik/Rod/Crow, lets see how the big boys roll...

No excuses please...

Well i'm over the East and it's common here :) Had a relative who used to buy several of the biggest he could get to take home to Harwich when he came up. Used to call the "melly" puddings (allowing for the accent !!)

Sandy

In Thanet next weekend, will a picture of the hotel breakfast do?

I aim to do a fry up tomorrow or tuesday, obviously pictures will be posted.

Better than nothing...



Good work...

Don't forget the toms!

there may just be a token tomato onboard, it will however only be there for the purposes of decorating the plate !

Ling will be cooking one for me at some point within the next week. Gl to her, you will see pictures.

You having a laugh? anything on a plate for a fry up has to be there to be eaten. I have already heard someone mention OJ! FFS that is verging on a fkn continental effort. I will be no doubt cooking breakfast for a few next weekend will post a decent effort because by fuck this needs one.

Chiprince: half decent effort too much of a female touch to it.
Amatay: wouldn't feed that to my dog
Technolog: Looks like i did feed it to my dog

Sigh i run soooooo bad. Cooked my first ever full on roast today and now he wants a fry up?!    

One question for the panel....

Is it acceptable to have  a buffet style so that one can pick and choose or must it be contained on one plate?

Plate ldo, buffet is just time consuming for those looking to eat.

FFS Woman, buffets are for skanky all you can eat chinese restaurants and christenings.  ON A PLATE !!!

FFS next she will be wanting you to get our own slippers Ben....slippery slopes i tell ya!!

sigh - how about muffins and croissants can they be included?

buffet style!... you must work in Television  ;D

Have you no mind of your own woman?

Oh my days ... ONLY IF YOU FRY THE FKERS !

Okay will be compiling a shopping list - this has become surprisingly important now ... ugggh

Do u want a fry up or do u want to make your own...?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Give me a shout if u need any tips

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2293/2933795101_066241e907_s.jpg)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  Buffet was bad enough...yer in trouble beyond yer years now Chicka.   rotflmfao

Step away from the list.  Seriously.  Do you really want to submit yerself to the obvious doom which you're considering inflicting upon yourself?

I'd be more than interested to see Bolt's effort on this thread, dont be shy Bolt...

feeling the urge to prepare myself a nice late breakfast now.....

couldn't be arsed going over the road to get fry up ingredients, so I plumped for fried eggs on toast.  Was a bit late with the pic.....

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/clairep75/P1000142.jpg)

 ;gobsmacked;

Eck do you have any feedback for me, I feel that my fry up is a 'work in progress' I have taken some excellent points and a few rather bizarre ones on board and hope to create a true masterpiece next weekend, you input would be much appreciated!

 ;booder;

This is food? no this is offense.

I think I see a cord. Is afterbabe no?

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

+1

lol, immense

I'm Dingdelled

afterbabe may just be the best word i have ever heard

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Maybe - don't google it at work though...

Considering the poor displays that have come after your Dwayne, I think u get a 8.5 out of ten!  Lack of black pudding & fried bread gets -1 point.  The other half point is for lack of beer if its a sunday morning......  Good effort tho...

It was 'morning' in a loose sense...

So this thread has made me fancy a fry up... anything missing from the list?

Eggs
Bacon
Sausage
Black Pudding
Mushrooms
Hashbrowns
Beans (alas)
Tomatoes
Toast
Bread
Fried Bread

tea

with 2 sugars

Bread overdose, -1 already...

I wasn't planning on all 3 breads, probably 2 of 3, haven't decided which though!

Always plenty of tea here Gatso, big mugs and full pot for refills!

sounds good, are we gonna get a photo of the result Bongo?

Pics or it didn't happen...  Got a feeling Bongo wont let us down...

I think someone needs to take this a step further and host a fry up testing session - cooking a late sunday brekkie for 4 or 5 hungry, discerning blondes, and points being awarded by each for taste, content, presentation etc.  The jury could visit a new contestant each month and after a year we could crown the blonde fry up king/queen and reward them with a well deserved spot in the bhof.  

been there,done that.

And very nice it was too !!

apart from, the discerning bit....

spam

No HP! -1

Lost marks for me having to go to the shop for bread & OJ. ;)

Bacon, sausage and black pudding picked up from local butchers. Mate on his way with hash browns and mushrooms. Had the rest already... Wish he'd hurry up though - I'm starving!

 ;booder;

 ;booder;

Never got up in time, try again tomorrow ;ashamed;

Was too busy eating it to post!

Think I need more practice...

Is a joke no? Rosbifs no really eat this.

Tea I like no milk. This thing is for zoo creature yes?

 rotflmfao rotflmfao

did you borrow TK's mug ?

-1 for having a 'Bongo' mug...

It actually says "boss" which I know would be -2 or something but in mitigation it was the largest mug I had.

bonjour grenouille de l'espace,

J'aime jouer vos compatriotes sur le réseau d'ipoker

Vive La France!

Is anyone else wondering what spacefrog would think of a doner kebab?

Fajitas would put him right over the edge.

Tbf to Bongo thats actually not a bad effort ... No fried slice or B&B on display is somewhat of a disappointment.  Egg is FAR too close to beans, mixed leakage is a disaster just waiting to happen !!

I will be back with a mark after some more studying of the exhibit

B&B out of shot.

Fried bread is under egg.

Egg protected from beans by a wall of black pudding.

This is actually the first time i've cooked a fry up!  ;ashamed;

beans look cheap, what make are they? and you could of done with cooking the egg. other than that I reckon that's a good effort

Beans are Heinz.

Great effort on your debut.

good man, maybe they didn't photograph too well then.

I'm gonna give you 8/10

Good effort from OP and Bongo. Bongo I give you 7/10 because you didnt fry the hash browns you crucified the edges.

Since as im a fussy eater heres my uber modified version of a fry up

3 Richmond Irish recipe thick sausages
1 Lorne Sausage
4 Smoked back bacon
2 Fried bread
2 toast with lots of clover
Tea 1 sugar full cream milk
OJ
Beer if my brekky is after 11am
Heinz Beans with a bit of pepper and brown sauce put in pan before cooking
Omellete
Chopped Tinned Tomatoes
3 Hash browns
News of the world obv turned to page 3

You've all made me soooo starving know. Im gonna be on life tilt till Sunday morning now!

Anyway, rate my potential fryup on ingredients, and I shall try to cook it and take pictures ;)

Best so far Bongo

Ha Ha, this has got to be a comedy spoof account, Kev go investigate........

Unless its you LOL

Does it count if you dont cook it yourself? Had an absolute belter in a hotel yesterday morning. I was just about to take a photo when I realised how mad I would look doing it! Might be back there next week so will find a more private table to photo at! Hotel buffet breakfasts ftw.

This thread is destined for Best Of Blonde surely ?

Looks good to me Bongo.  Could live without the tomato's and mushrooms, but other than that, looks mighty fine.

I would not send it back.....8/10 from me Bongo.

Fajita's like this you mean, which we had on the night of the aforementioned fry-up - Rate My Fajita's anyone??

wtf? you own pans with wooden things? -all the points

So for having fajita pans its an instant -10 points, wtf?  If i tried to fry my eggs in a saucepan you'd deduct points for that, but when ive got nut pans for the job I get punished...  :(

OY its a fry up thread ... no room here for that poncey pig swill !!

 ;booder;




See above then!!

until about 2 minutes ago I had no idea that fajita pans existed. deffo -10 pts for ponciness

Nor me!

we had one ... i tried to take photos on my mobile, but they didnt come out :(

will do another one soon.

Bongo, I really am struggling to mark yours .... I cant see the B&B so I have no idea if its cut correctly, spread well etc ... or god forbid you may have even used brown bread (which obviously would result in you being tarred & feathered at the next bash) .. I will give it a 7.5/10 but it could have possibly made an 8 or 8.5 if the aforementioned B&B had been up to standard.

lol, special errand was made especially for white bread! Spread and cut as you like it! I found mine most enjoyable.

as I missed breakfast I had it for lunch, i declined the offer of chips, must say people looked odd at me taking pics ;dingdell;

First impression = 6/10. However -2 for overload of beans, no toast/fried bread/bread and butter makes this an insta -3 but double portion of eggs takes it back to 4.5/10. Newspaper & mug of tea not overfilled for slurpage would push this back up to 6/10 for me

fried bread under eggs

PS  why have tea ? it's lunchtime and the bar was open :cheers:

Okay you are forgiven. Fried bread and Beer combined adds 2.5 points so you can have 6.5/10. If its in wetherspoons that may go up another .5 point ;)

Good work Dewi, should have chosen the adult portion though...

QFMFT

watched V for Vendetta not so long ago, and saw a intresting fried egg/bread combo.

Read this thread and feel compelled to share.   
The aptly named Stephen Fry was cooking this midway through the film :

 (http://recipesrecipesrecipes.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/making-eggs-in-a-basket.jpg)

(http://deathbike.net/snaps/food/egginabasket4.jpg)

please delete the above post mods.
i find the picture extremely offensive.

I like the double egg but thats about it.

Frogmouth,

Do you know what the word anathema means?

Fried brown bread FFS ?

Bongo can cook meat imo. Perfect colouring. Even if his complete breakfast doesn't win the overall gymnastics gold his bacon & sausages are deffo going to scoop the beam and vault victories respectively.

What'd he do with the circle cut out?   One would expect it fried and placed on top et voila, the Top Hat.

(white bread though)

Was this bought not home made???  -10 for bluffing....

tbf he did say all along he would take a pic of a 'hotel' breaky...  Not having an attempt mr Jones???

Incredible bad beat yesterday, made a brilliant effort then went to take a picture and both digital camera's had no battery.

Took a picture on my phone so if anyone knows how to get a photo off a nokia 6300 onto photobucket we can put this thread to bed imo... ;)

Never bluff :redcard:

So you wait till i go home then cook up a stormer. 8/10 for the chilli though. :)up

PM sent

or if you can't understand what he said cos he's all welsh like, you presumable have a memory card in the phone, just stick it in the card reader on a lappy

Ban Plz

ok, but we will miss you jizzem

translation plz

Something about leeks, I think.

Not had a chance to yet!  Got a lot to live up to with the one you got going!!!!  Off the fry ups at the mo tbh.  Trying to slim down to get the ladies keen  ;ashamed;

BOL

bongo's fry up is the best so far despite not been tremendously easy on the eye!

7/10

here's new twist, a pig cooking a boiled egg

Does that count as a fry up ?

Today is the day at Chez Claw.  I've skipped breakfast and will shortly be heading off to buy the ingredients for a nice fry up brunch.  Watch this space!

pft - ladies like soemthing to cuddle :)

 ;popcorn;

how long?

that was lovely and I'm bloody stuffed :)  Pic is a bit blurry, but you get the idea.  All comments welcome!

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/clairep75/fryup.jpg)

Why have you got popcorn on your fry-up?

facing my demons here..that aside looks gg..r.r.r..r.eat

Thats one hell of a sausage...

Potato cakes, umm, interesting...

Lack of any condiments and tea instead of coffee would be -ev from me...

But the egg looks amazing, and the bacon looks great, i'd prefer toast aswell instead of bread...

8.5/10..., best yet, excluding the original post of course...

sigh, it's not popcorn, it's scrambled egg, and it is tea - tetley!!! (edit - doh ok, just realised you knew that!!)

Also, the plate is too small - any cutting of sausage/black pudding is going to result in egg/bacon/potato things falling off.

a fine effort though.

just in case it's difficult to see with the blurry-ness, the fry up consists of:

3 x rashers of bacon
1 x sausage
1 x square sasauge
2 x black pud
beans
2 x potato scone
fried egg
scrambled egg
mushrooms
2 slices warburtons toastie with butter
OJ
tea

Before a score is given can you confirm what is between potato scones and square sausage?

Mushrooms?

ah yes, mushrooms.  will amend the list :)up

Just where would you be without that 'modify' button Claire!!

mushroomless :( 

I feared as much.

8.5/10

Superb effort.
-1 for mushrooms
-0.5 for minor things

you bought bread specifically for toasting and didn't toast it?

overall looks good although I'm very much undecided on southern fry ups having black pudding, seems wrong

I'm gonna say 7.5/10. might've made it to 8 with a better photo but just can't be sure

Best yet imo 9/10, 1 sasuage not enough and no fried bread

 ;nemesis;

 ;surrender;

great work Claire, loving the egg/bean division, no chance of mixed leakage there.

The tatty cakes are a welcome addition to the brunch version imo.

What is that burgerish looking thing at back of plate ?

1 sausage + 1 slice of square sausage!! - Pay attention!

And fried bread is redundant when tattie scones are present.

Well done Claire - I'd not let beans near it - but by far the best to date!!!

Square sausage ya Palestine!!!

Yep, I am feeling the love for the latest attempt, use of Warburtons toastie for B&B is a winner imo ... now if you had lightly buttered an extra slice and whacked it in the frying pan, I would have awarded you 9.125/10 ... as is, I score your fry up 8.975.   Congrats on a superb effort

2 x sausage + square sausage would be better as would tattie scones & fried bread, so away with yous

but I'm only a girl :(  This is obviously a lady's portion.  I'd do you extra sausage and fried bread :)

best yet and ill be there for sunday breakfast if you are offering to all.. but i do notice that no-one has included the news paper, cant have a proper brekkie without the sports section

Is good I no see this?


 

Disappointing post IMO spacefrog. I normally await your comedy posts with baited breath, entertain me properly next time please.

Missed this one but deffo the best yet, nice job.

Yeh awful effort.
[X] i think of your jokes what you think of our breakfasts

That looks like a blurry 8-9/10. Open a cafe Claire please  :)

thank you for all your kind comments.  If only the monkey were so appreciative of my work.  I showed him the pic when he got home and offered to make him same for his tea - he elected to have a microwave pasta meal instead!

me at blonde bash 10..................... ;whistle;

(http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/7430/futureme1th9.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

(http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/103/futureme2pa7.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

Reminds me - how is Armo?

 rotflmfao rotflmfao

I thought you where my friend  :'(  :'(

(http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/7430/futureme1th9.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

(http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1532/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1532R-17353.jpg)


No you stop Spacefrog has seen to many rosbif food now.

Agreed about the newspaper. News of the World in the background can only add to the authenticity. Also bottles of sauce need to be plainly on view. Claire loses marks for this mistake. If someone could get a red and a brown bottle like the ones you find in a cafe that would be excellent.

You want one of these instead.

(http://shop.newzealand.co.nz/pages/images/hires/255-PAK-TSB.jpg)

saw one of these in Gourmet Burger Kitchen in Dublin at the weekend.

People who have a similar idea as this thread - the London Review of Breakfasts

http://londonreviewofbreakfasts.blogspot.com/

great site, and they have my favourite caff on there :)up

http://londonreviewofbreakfasts.blogspot.com/2006/06/regency-caf-pimlico.html

Blurry?

I don't understand. My Sunday morning hangover breakfast always looks likes this.

Good effort. 8/10.

I have decided to get on the band wagon and make an attempt at a quality fry up.

In order to make the perfect breakfast I decided that I needed a perfect kitchen. I have therefore got the builders in to knock half my house down so that I can have an extended kitchen with enough space to work.

Once this is done I believe that I will have the perfect environment for making a fry up.

Unfortunately it's not going to be ready for 4 months. This does give me the advantage of seeing what I'm up against and what my oppos have done before me.

Watch this space in Feb '09.

Can you not go to a friend's house. This would be similar to the FA using The Millenium Stadium while Wembley was being built.

I might do for a few friendlies as a warm up for the big game.

I'm booked in to the new kitchen for first use.

I don't want a westlife concert sneaking in before me and taking the glory.

Stunning effort by Claire. Obv not perfect, but then nothing ever is.

When marking, I always assume a perfect 10 and work from there.

First, plate size. Not a serious fault unless you are eating somewhere that has a dog capable of getting to the bits that fall on to the floor before you do. -1 =9

Only 1 fried egg. Major felony. (Shame cos the one that is there is almost perfectly cooked) -2.5 =6.5

Portion sizes. Too many beans, not enough mushrooms -1 =5.5

Addition of square sausage +1 = 6.5

Potato scones +1 = 7.5

No fried bread or hash browns -1 (Would have been more but the tattie scones saved you) =6.5

Absence of sauce or newspaper (if it's not in the pic it didn't happen) - 0.5 each so =5.5

General standard of cookedness, i.e bacon crispness, sausage brownness, egg sunny side up and unburstness etc, +1.5 =7

Overall presentation and total physical mass +1   So a grand total of 8/10 points.

Very impressive, well done Claire.


PS- Your marks are not set in stone and could be improved. I am bribeable and susceptible to tampering.



 

You can rate a fry up at mine anyday mate.

How are you?  Life good I trust.

Am I the only one in thinking how sad that Monkey looks?

It must be in a zoo somewhere.

I am guessing the second one is pregnant.

 ;booder;

2 much milk in the tea but the food looks spot on a bit of spam would be nice

 ;gobsmacked;
































 ;dingdell;

Here we go again!  Slightly out of shot is a huge mug of tea so no marking down for that!!!

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1026bigbreakfast0050.jpg)

sausage too stumpy -1 no beans ffs-2 and whats that co-op bacon? treat your self to some butchers cuts next week-1
6/10

- 1 for no tomatoes

+ 1 for no beans

- .5 for no napkin

Soooooooo, I'm giving you a 9.5.  Well done!

Definately lacking something!!!   (beans and more bacon??)

but the eggs look perfect


god i'm hungry now

I have disregarded your marking as the bacon is from the deli counter and was top draw,  it is clear you know nothing about breakfasts...

decided against beans today just because of the quality of the rest of the produce, as mentioned throughout the thread if your not careful beans can take over

it's hard to see beyond the lack of beans tbh

and why do you use children's cutlery?

Thank you Laxie, i've always liked you

funny angle!

2 hash browns,3 thick sliced black puddings and a fried slice thats just too dry without beans,oh and u cut the bread in half lol-1 wouldve been -2 for triangles down to 5/10 now.
on reflection maybe i boobed with the bacon cut so will restore you back that point6/10.

I take your point re beans, pleanty of brown sause solved the dry problem.  I'm shocked that you take a point off for cutting the bread, next you'll be taking points away for using a knife and fork...you savage!

Is the bacon crispy? looks under cooked, same with the sausages.

But overall looks to be a 7/10 imo.

Nice going sov.

My sunday breakfast was toast, pot of tea & cigarette ;ashamed;

not sure why it looks underdone it was crispy and the sausages were nicely brown, last time i got stick for undercooking but I think it might be my camera!

i just hope red dog approves, after all its the only reason i post on blonde.

Ok Spacefrog not eat this if I die.


What is this black? Is animal, légume or minéral?

This make me laugh at rosbif bread. I tell a friend who in London he say is chips as well.

Boudin Noir - non?

Are you sure you're French?

http://www.hertzmann.com/articles/2002/boudin/ (http://www.hertzmann.com/articles/2002/boudin/)

Ok, boudin this I like. Why you cook it so, this should have bloods no?   

Boudin is normally fried isn't it?

The blood has clotted - otherwise it's be a liquid.

Cracking yolks Soviet, no beans is this in my eyes   


         V
         V
         V
         V
         V
         V
         V
      VVVV
       VVV
        VV
         V

Just having a look back through this thread. I don't think blondes are giving their eggs enough love.

Basting FTW.

ive just been made redundant so my whole goal in life for the next month or so is to create the best fry-up on here, but will only be doing on sundays. I am thinking of going with poached duck eggs instead of fried . any thoughts?

Pff, part timer, I work on mine every day. The duck eggs idea was mine first, they are larger and more tasty.


"I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!""
M Hedberg RIP

OK,  The Slug Breakfast includes a cup of tea

This is a very good effort. I'm particularly impressed by clean lines of separation between the ingredients (no messy overlap) and by those eggs, which have been cooked to perfection and transferred from pan to plate with the firm but gentle touch of an  explosives expert or a gynecologist.

Another plus is the bread, each slice of which has enough of what looks like real butter to clog at least one artery.

I have made slight deductions for poor item placement, i.e eggs awkwardly placed in middle, and bacon on very edge could cause plate tilting problems or, (heaven forbid) full blown tiddlywink effect when stabbing/cutting.

Your tea is invisible. If we allow this to go unpunished, it will open the door for others, perhaps more unscrupulous than yourself, to pass off completely empty cups as cosher mashings of Rosie. I'm deducting half a point.

While the bacon quality looks very good (extra mark for using streaky) the rind seems to have fallen just a little short of crispy, and the portion size is woefully inadequate. This has ultimately cost you what would have been a very good score.

Nice try Sov, but I have great hopes for you in this competition, and we both know that you can do better.

7.5/10 

Fried slice looks a tad anaemic Red, would you agree ?

Well yes it is, but the boy is young and I couldn't decide if I should point it out and toughen him up for future criticism, or let it slide and build his confidence.

On reflection, I should have said something. The truth will always come out in the end.   

Crow, i'm worried, what's that?!

Im afraid the Chef at the slug would have got that mess sent back to him with a link to this thread. thats awful awful AWFUL

That sausage looks like it just fell out of a dog.

I'd rather go for dinner at amatay's house than eat that crap

Thats a bold statement ... I think its too close to call tbh ;)

yeah, it is close but at least at amatay's I'd be able to identify every item on the plate

Red, your feedback has really spurred me on, Sunday is going to be my best yet!  The fried bread wasnt my best effort and I know undercooking is an error I have made in the past.  I have included a photo which i didnt want to post as the quality of shot wasnt great as it includes the rest of my messy table and a poker mag I stole from the local casino but it does show you a mighty mug of tea.

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1026bigbreakfast0048.jpg)

sorry soviet but imo the only thing thats half decent on that plate is the eggs, - points for lack of square sausage, tattie scones, beans, grilled tomato, the poor quality of bread, lack of brownage to the links, poor quality of the bacon, lack of fruit pudding

soz but 3 outa 10

think ill do one of these myself this weekend

competition winner will be posted sometime on saturday afternoon.

you can take that to the bank....

Thank you for the feedback you seem to know what your talking about.
















































[ ]*****************************88

rofl. comedy sov.

 :dontask:

what sort of a person puts fruit on a fry up?

The perfect fry up should consist of:

2 tottie scones
3 rashers of bacon
1 x black pudding (stornoway)
1 x Square Sausage
2 x beef links
Beans
Fried egg
Fried Bread

Mug of Coffee

fruit pudding is gay mate I wouldn'd have it near my fry up

fruit putting is a must in a fry up

obv if i decide to make one

How to pilot an F16.

Climb into cockpit
Take off
Fly sortie
Accomplish Mission
Land

Easy peasy.

This is my effort from two Sundays ago - couldn't get the pics up before jetting off to Cyprus - I'm hoping for redemption.

(http://www3.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a12722add7c99a3b9bc6412d038bded36g.jpg)

(http://www3.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/adc08e5e2dabb4552b1e6f8cf6208e656g.jpg)

I think you lose points for a distinct paucity of bacon and having what appears to be a decorative mushroom on the tomato, which has also been made the centre piece of the fry up for some unknown reason.

the mushrooms look nice, but apart from that it all looks a little bit overcooked and dry - especially the toast, which looks like it would spray crumbs everywhere if you snapped it in half.  I'd also lose a couple of sausages and replace with more bacon and no need for the tomato at all.  In summary, I still think mine is the best :)

infinite deduction of points for tescos own brown sauce !!

Plus points ... 4 bangers and 2 eggs :)

"a distinct paucity of bacon"

Most eloquent critique in the whole thread IMHO.

Technolog, I think its safe to say that everything is long dead and has been throughly cooked!

''Cracking mushrooms, crap eggs'', that would be my first impression...

Having studied, i'm happy with my first impression, its not the best...

but only 1 rasher it looks like, to get full marks on this I can see I am gonna need a serving dish sized plate and helpings that would evan fill the red one.

 ;booder;

Kev's breakfast itinary

10.00 start to cook
10.30 serve up
10.31 Start to eat
10.32 finish meal
10.33 Ginger finds camera

did you have to throw the beans away because you'd burnt them too?

(http://i35.tinypic.com/333yg4k.jpg)

I'm struggling to come to terms with that picture, something just doesnt look right...

it may be the overuse of beans, or the lacl of meat ......oh no its the lack of taste wheres the ducking brew the oj,paper bacon black pud, fried slice , bread and butter and not evan a hint of hp

-8 total

Man. This thread has taken a real turn for the worse.

1. The Slug Breakfast. OMG!! WTF!! Hideous on so many levels. I guarantee that the person who cooked this is not English. If I had to take a stab I would say Polish. The breakfast does not qualify for Full English status, so it cannot be marked.

2. The technolog Breakfast. Everything is BLACK.

3. WYSINWYG Breakfast. It doesn't even matter how good the food is or that it is lacking almost all the basic ingredients, it is the fact that the environment is unsettling. You can't eat a fry-up in a stately home and feel good about it. Please remove the candles from the table at least.

Please can we all try a bit harder.

Surely the best fry up ever.............imagination is a wonderful thing

did you eat your breakfast in Margo and Jerrys house from the Good Life ?

Aging yourself Big Guy.

you see i was going to "go down that road" and slate the decor but each to their own he may like that look. but that excuse for a fry up deserves a ban

I use the candles to add a charred effect to my sausage.

The GoodLife? Is that the one with Felicity Kenmilf?

Totally agree with Slug Breakfast. So wrong on so many levels. Serving cooked tomatoes on the vine ???????? Ramsay would be  ;tracet; ;grr; ;yellowcard; :dontask: ;frustrated; :pop:

is that a giant plate or do you live in a dolls house? the whole thing needs more food.

only redeeming feature is the booze selection which appears to be substantial

Will Gatso be attempting a meal fit for a king?

An egg, 2 bangers, a river of beans and a tinned Plum tomato does not constitute a fry up .... and serving it on a mock Italian dining suite purchased with high street vouchers from Argos will not save it.

Disqualified imo.

DQ for (poorly) edited photo too imo.

1st rule of editing photos - don't use an unregistered copy of editing software which puts a big 'this was created using editing software' logo on the image.

I am confused about why the photo has been edited in the first place.  Has wysinwyg superimposed their fry up on someone else's furniture or vice versa? 

exactly, is he saying he'd be proud of such a home? or such a fry up? is his own kitchen table unsuitable for a photo containing a fry up? or does the fry up need stately surroundings?

nice drinks trolley though

omg this thread is frikin hilarious, the slam downs are priceless, I'm gonna have to go back and read the bits I missed. Best of Blonde imo.

OK - I've only just noticed the naked man taking the photo in the mirror.  Is that you wysinwyg?

Mods, please can you tell me how to delete that pic as quickly as possible.

 rotflmfao  there also seems to a ghostly looking monkey/childlike figure - let's send it to yvette fielding for analysis

LOLOL what a spot the reflection in the mirror is!


No way is that being deleted!

I think that's just the smoke from the sausage.

 rotflmfao     good spot Claire

lol i thought it was a women, please tell me this is a spoof photo?

Its saved, dont worry...

one would imagine so - very funny though!

Defiantely a set-up!!

LMFAO ... thats hilarious.  Im sure WYSIWYG was just waiting for someone to spot the reflection ;)   after all that pic has been around before.

scary how long it took though!

This thread has gone mental. Does WYSIWYG live in a council flat then? Also, imagine eating that less than appealing fry-up in Hyacinth Bucket's house and glancing up into the mirror. You would wake up in a cold sweat thanking sweet Jesus it was just a bad dream.

It will never die though!!

no

I am genuinely laughing out loud at that picture WYSINGWYG.

Claw for observation mod.

That photo just shows the wonder of this thread.
People take their fry ups so seriously that it was only the plate they truly focused on and after having a quick look around their eyes noticed.................the alcohol.

Well done WYSIWYG & Claw. Josedinho got it right - we all notice the furniture & the bevvy, LOL.

Definitely one too many sausages WYSINWYG.

Yep, seen pic before :)

Mushrooms - A handful of smaller sliced ones, or a large field one on its back?

go for the field one every time

4 medium sized field ones for me, filled with butter and grilled.

Has to be field.  No other mushrooms are worth putting on the plate.

I believe the bacon in this fry up is Middle Bacon not Streaky.  A point should be deducted as Back Bacon is the only rasher fit for a top notch fry up.

Sorry to hijack this thread but it is Halloween!!

So....rate my pumpkin!!


(Click on pic for better view...)

(http://img76.imageshack.us/img76/3210/1000418go8.th.jpg) (http://img76.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1000418go8.jpg)

6.8, the eyes are just too evil!!

Aren't they meant to be evil?

Not the first time i have heard that .... sigh

you just cant hijack a fry up thread with a pumpkin, it's a veg ffs, new thread to be started imho

+1


 ;nemesis;

it's supposed to be for the kids isnt it? that will scare the sh*t out of them!

Any chance of a Bolt style Fry-up?   :dontask:

you know i really havnt coked anything "proper" in ages, i live almost entirely off of takeaways, breakfast i'll have tea and toast indoors or sausage sandwich in the cafe(probably 5 out of 7 days), lunch is either rustlers microwave quater pounder with cheese and a couple of boxes of microwave chips or another cafe and 80% of nights it will be burger king, mcdonalds, chinease or pizza.

when i used to live with my missus i used to always cook baked dinners, steak dinners and currys but in the last 18 months or so i cant think of a meal ive had that hasnt been processed or takeaway food.

not only can i not be bothered to do a fry up i just dont think i'm qualified these days to comment on others, i'm waiting for kevs though! it's been built up so much i imagine it being like a fry up you'd order in heaven if moses was running a greasy spoon.

Reminds me of being at uni, but the only cafe nearby that was open in the day was an asian place that sold kebabs - nice ones made of real meat as well as donner etc - pakoras and samosas etc.

I think I went there most days!

Good honest Bolt, we'd all love to see a Bolty sausage sarny tho  :)up

ok ok ... ffs. I will do it tomorrow, there will be NO black pudding though, I hate the stuff.

Pictures will be forthcoming sometime this evening ..... Im confident of good scores despite the lack of black pudding

freudian slip?  :dontask: ;angel;

B. E. A. utiful.

at first glance it looks a goodun'!!

id say the only let down is the beans, i mean wheres the rest of em?

you should be looking at a bean to mushroom ratio of 15/16:1, i like the amount of mushrooms you've got but it's clearly gone badly wrong on bean amount!

also personally i love the beans on the fried slice, lovely.

these things lose you a couple of points but that aside it seems a very well cooked and rounded fry up...........8.1 :)up

Kev, please understand that you must have black pudding. 4/10 for poor black pudding attitude.

exactly my thoughts on seeing this. great effort. could do with a bottle of brown as well though

I'm going to say 8.5/10


please ignore this and all subsequent similar comments kev

there is nothing in life which is improved by the addition of congealed blood

Worst fry-up i have ever seen


p.s. about 1hr ago it looked pretty good but i have changed my mind now for some reason

Given you are not blessed with scottishness I forgive you the lack of square sausage and haggis slice. However black pudding is a must so one point off for that. Good to see your ketchup is Heinz, but fry up sauce must be HP brown sauce, nothing else will do so another point off. Extra point for not cutting the bread into triangles. 9/10 from me, real good effort though.

 

Yep - good effort Kev. I wanted to be nasty about it as your critique of my efforts has at times left me close to tears.

Nice eggs, fried bread looks a bit mottled but nevertheless nice, suasage/bacon split just about right and both look well cooked.

Hash browns under-done, get rid of the beans and replace with tomatoes, too much bread.

8/10

seems to be a problem with the colour contrast for me. looks good but something is definitely missing , will get back to you

the hash browns are undercooked, too little beans

that aside (allowing for lack of black pudding due to fry-up posters dislike of it), very good 8.5/10

back to my soup shake now

The beans have tainted the titchy chopped up mushrooms, have you not learned anything from this thread?!

The eggs however are a tour de force, basted but still looking dippable.

Kev, alot of talent shown there. Sausage & bacon all look great. Eggs & fried slice are a picture

Got to agree no black pudding is the way forward. Beans look as if they are swamping all over the place. Brown HP sauce has been over looked.

I give it 8.5/10.

Where'd you get them yolkless eggs Kev?

Eggs are flipped prior to serving, stops them being snotty, but yet still mega runny for dippage.

Mushrooms are Button variety, sliced down the middle, I am not a great fan of the baked bean on a fry up, but I will have a couple of tablespoons of them.

Beans were of course kept away from the eggage by the great wall of banger, creating a dam like barrier between the two.

I am concerned at the thought of the hash browns being under done ... surely a good hash brown needs to have a certain crispness to the exterior, but not so crispy that you would need to call for an irish navvy and his Jackhammer, these were crisp to the knife, yet inside were light and fluffy and begging to be dipped into yolk.

I feel that my exhibit is worthy of the high marks it has thus far experienced, although I hear big Laz is submitting his entry this weekend at some point, I look forward to seeing that.

Looks very good Kev. Infact it almost looks as tastay as the Amatay special as seen below

Now that I have eshewed the nomadic life style and moved back into bricks and mortar, I will have to give this a go next weekend and show you all how to do it.

No time for proper review at the mo, bu Kev's effort is doffo the best so far.

 ;nemesis;

and without even properly reviewing it, that's just cruel!!

Out of order, I got marked down for not having Tea visible!  He has Tomato sauce in the shot.  Kev's effort is a good one but to start banding around 'best so far' is crazy.  Kev...man up learn to love blackpudding.

I'm giving 6/10, many good points but a few flaws that are unforgivable.

Harsh.

How many weeks you cook this?

I know this taste of burn no?

You make the taste go away with the process bread yes?


Why you rosbif use this bread, is chemical.

I have never cooked breakfast. In fact, I don't think I've ever fried an egg. On Wednesday 12th November I shall be taking a stab at this and would appreciate the feedback. However, please be aware that I am a virgin when constructing your response.

heres my effort.

Cracking effort Kev. Looks like it's a near perfect fry up for you.
For me personally -1 for mushrooms -1 for no black pudding and i'm in a good mood so i'll take your word that the hash browns were cooked but just didn't colour.

8/10

Ling is cooking for the first time I can remember tonight. Fry up obv.  Wiiiiii. Thanks go to the thread starter.

My entry will be posted Saturday/Sunday of this week.

Prep is underway.

Kev has set a high bar - but I am Roy.

is she doing muffins?

Kev's effort looks brilliant. Close to perfect

Only things tht wudve bettered it wouldve been a glass of fresh fruit juice aswell as a cup of tea & a massive tub of salt.

seriously good effort kev

Golden, your love of salt inspires me.

Lings effort... Go easy ;)

Yep, I like that

Too many beans, perhaps sausage a tad under cooked. The muffins are a nice touch.

8/10  ;hattip;

btw nice aerial photowork  :)

ffs rooks, you run bad, did you have to eat that?

bread obv not fresh from the way it's broken up + it's not properly buttered anyway, no eggs on one of the plates, wtf is the big round thing? where're the hash browns? why only 1 cuppa for 2 plates? salt and no pepper, can't see how the fried egg is as it's hidden. is that fried bread on one plate? if so it's cooked all wrong and cut in bloody triangles. sausages poss undercooked but can't tell as the pic's not that clear

this is just about better than amatay and the slug's efforts. 2.5/10

(good muffins though)

Poncey plates.

She bought those.

Fergus' next blog entry reads...


Is Aisling seething?

Yes Aisling is seething.

did it taste better than it looks?

I'll post later, she is hanging over my shoulder seething atm.

I think Gatso has it covered...

I'd just like to add that I'm currently eating a pot noodle and I wouldn't swap it for that!

FYP

(only kidding)  ;hide;

I must not be a very experienced fryup'er cause i think tht looks pretty sweet.

fk the haters ling.

 :hello: Ling, loves ya really, just let rooks do the cooking in future

Bread was freshly baked - got it whilst still warm this eve on way home - so obv my buttering technique not to liking...
Eggs - you got 2 types on one plate cos I can't stand the bloomin things
Two supermarkets both out of hash browns - so i went posh with the rosti
No sugar - so no tea for rooks
We both hate pepper
Yes fried bread on one plate as the other doesn't eat it.
Sausages were perfect, and the triangles  they look prettier IMO!

Poncey! They are from ASDA! Oh and BTW - where the hell is the Irish contingent - nothing said about the Soda Bread! most disappointed....

that's soda bread? I might have to take another 1/2 point off

I have a big soft spot for leknave now  ;first;

Sigh  - the haters are just  ;envious; at my obvious talent











rotflmfao ;cheerleader; ;marks;

Looks good. Are both plates for Rookie? He looks like he needs feeding up

Not a problem, although having seen the result Rooks I bet your having regrets now... :)up

PS.  Whats with the Google Earth style camera shots?

Freshly baked bread is a fker to butter - bread keeps rolling up around the butter.

I think it's a good effort - I would not let the fry-up see the muffins though, you want to maintain separation of sweet and savoury otherwise you'll be going down the American route of pancakes and maple syrup on the same plate as bacon and eggs.

Rookie 2nd ? :D ;ifm;

Sandy

Very rare I have a fry up, but had one Saturday morning. If its not on the plate I dont like it.

*waits for Kev to pass comment on 'green thing'*

Thats my green's for the week :)

Wow, I watched a film last night with Daniel Craig and Kidman, 'The Invasion', albeit rather shit.  This alien mucas descended onto ppl, i mean wtf, I think its reached Leeds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raw bacon IMO 5/10

its skin of the sausage not mucas, and the bacon was fine, nicely cooked.

I dont actually mind the look of the bacon, needs some rind though...  Beans look decent, cant judge the mushrooms as the pic is blurry (tactical?), Not a tomato fan but it does look rather juicy. Scrambled egg looks a bit runny, def needs fried egg, although you did explain you dont like them.  Hopefully we can safely presume that there is toast/bread + tea/coffee + sauces out of sight...

Oh, and SALT for Horneris before he shouts it...