blonde poker forum

It's back! An all-(not)new, (un)improved Fantasy League. Aiming for around 50 lists this time by roping in some new faces at the G. Might even try to get MDD to enter a list of curmudgeons.

* Late additions to the players' list, available for selection same as all others.

Rules

1. Each competitor picks a team of five different players from the following list of Luton regulars, for a combined total of no more than £15m.

2. Points are scored thus, Win - 15pts, Second - 12, Third - 9, Fourth - 7, Fifth - 6, Sixth - 5, Seventh - 4, Eighth - 3, Ninth - 2, any other registered finish - 1.

50+ runners = +3pts on to all positions.
75+ runners = +6pts on to all positions.
100+ runners = +9pts on to all positions.
150+ runners = +12pts on to all positions.
200+ runners = +15pts on to all positions.

All tournaments at the G Casino, not Circus Circus, count as long as 25 or more players compete.

3. Each list entered will cost £50. Prizemoney distribution will depend on number of entries and will be confirmed before the end of December. Payments can be made in person at Luton or via bank transfer (please PM for details). Any monies not paid by 14 January and teams will be removed from the competition.

4. The competition runs from 1 January-30 June 2012

5. Lists must be submitted here by midnight on 31 December.

6. Put your lists in as soon as you like. You can still edit them up to and including 31 December.

7. Players may pick themselves if they want to but obv don't have to.

The players available for you to pick are as follows (prices reflect a number of factors including volume of play, recent results and some subjective views):

Player                               £m

Dick Lynch       'MDD'               5
Andy Lyew        'Daffodil'          5
Bharat Joshi     'Bharat Homes'      5
Edna Adams       'Evil'              5
Mel Fowler       'Swerve'            4.5
Ed Overall       'Len'               4.5
Ian Needleman    'Xpressman'         4
Paul Noonan      'Luther'            4
Adam McGuinness* 'Everready'         4
Robert Asmaee*   'Rob'               3.5
Lalit Khajuria   '40-year heater'    3.5
Josh Pope        'Josh Matrix'       3.5
Jim McBride      'Jim McBink'        3.5
Alan McBride     'Lucky'             3.5
Dave Fredericks  'Angry Greg Raymer' 3.5
David Johnson    'Jonnyplum'         3
Graham Rogers    'G-Man'             3
Dean Morris      'Sir Donksalot'     3
Tom Myland       'China Mug'         3
Vince Calenti    'Celtic'            3
Glenn Henderson  'Nirvana'           3
Gavin Kan        'Pizzled'           3
Paul Conway      'Perfect Percy'     3
Graham Wheldon   'Chompy'            2.5
Phil Anderson    'RUHolding'         2.5
Tatenda Banda    'Fender Banda'      2.5
Nick Crisp       'Festival pro'      2.5
Alan Gray        'MarketMan'         2.5
Wai Yin Wan      'Chinese George'    2.5
Terry Mitford    'Juuuuuune'         2.5
Darren Athinis   'Athy'              2.5
Dan Fish         'Dan the fish'      2.5
Malcolm Gee      'Pass'              2
Brijesh Das      'British Gas'       2
Nick Haynes      'The Judge'         2
Ady Lovelock     'Poker monkey'      2
Alex Riccardi    'Fallenangel'       2
Adrian Pullar    'The Pilot'         2
Tracey Allen     'LittleRed'         2
Dave Robinson    'Grinder'           2
Darren Allen     'Drain Alien'       2
Derek Coe        'Gumbo'             2
Toni Coe         'Gumbette'          2
Tony Herdman     'Shagpile'          2
Pete Gardiner    'Donk'              2
Gary Barnes      'Haircut'           2
Ben Pope         'Ben Matrix'        2
Tony Deluca      'One Cornetto'      1.5
Chris Cooper     'Cooperman'         1.5
Shaun Conning    'Claypole'          1.5
James Rowe       'James/Phil'        1.5
Mr Phan          'Very noy boy'      1.5
Keith Miller     'Megladonk'         1.5
Raymond Pease    'D'Artagnan'        1.5
Simon Mail       'Ropey flush'       1.5
George Michael   'All stations'      1.5
Phil Mildon      'Andy Black'        1.5
Jim McShane      'Dave777'           1.5
Gary Wilson      'Ace high'          1.5
Daniel Allen     'Mini Drainy'       1.5
John Hilson      'WPIS'              1.5
P Wigglesworth   'Semtex'            1
Mrs Phan         'Noy boy'           1
Claire McGregor  'Claw'              1
Dennis Barnes    'USADennis'         1
Adrian Gotch     'Rockstar'          1
Tony Kendall     'Tikay'             1
Kenny Prazar     'The raiser'        1
Paul Turnstill   'Turny'             1
Simon Galloway   'Darvin Moon'       1
Richard Prew     'Tightend'          1
Steve Kirk       'Birdforum'         1
John Ruppin      'The Ruppinator'    1
Paul Ephremsen   'Handsome Paul'     1
Phil Cooklin     'Snatiramas'        1
Lional Flaum     'The Flaumster'     0.5
Chris Poulton    'Unimaginative'     0.5
Alex Martin      'TFOP'              0.5
Trevor Payne     'The Paynemaker'    0.5
Michael Bolton   'Sweet Georgia'     0.5

Anthony Kendall   

Edna Adams   
Graham Rogers
Gavin Kan   
Terry Mitford   
Gary Wilson   

Gavin Kan   

Edna Adams   
Gavin Kan   
Drain Alien   
Graham Wheldon   

Darren Alien   

Vince Calenti   
Adam McGuiness   
Gavin Kan   
Drain Alien   

Paul Noonan
   
Graham Rogers    
Adrian Gotch    
Andy Lyew    
Drain Alien    
Paul Noonan    

Ryan Spittles   

Paul Noonan   
Josh Pope   
Vince Calenti   
Graham Rogers   
Tony Deluca   

Dean Morris   

Edna Adams   
Dean Morris   
Graham Rogers   
Jim McBride   
Trevor Payne

Ady Lovelock   

Edna Adams   
Bharat Joshi    
Drain Alien   
Ady Lovelock   
Kenny Prazar   

Graham Wheldon   

Ed Overall   
Mel Fowler   
Dan Fish   
Dave Robinson   
Phil Mildon   

Edna Adams   

Edna Adams   
Ed Overall   
Dave Robinson   
Toni Coe   
Dinh Phan   

Julian Lefevre   

Mel Fowler   
Jim McBride   
Rob Asmae   
Dave Robinson   
Phil Mildon   

Bharat Joshi   

Bharat Joshi   
Adam McGuiness   
Phil Mildon   
Dave Robinson   

Ed Overall   

Edna Adams   
Ed Overall   
Lalit Khajuria   
Dinh Phan   
Trevor Payne   

Dave Johnson

Edna Adams   
Ed Overall   
Graham Wheldon   
Phil Mildon   
John Hilson   

Alex Riccardi-Warren

Enda Adams
Jim McBride
Josh Pope
Alex Riccardi-Warren
Phil Cooklin

"An all-new, improved"       ......       looks sackly the same as it ever did.

Amended Loofah.

The competition is a re-entry, which will please you. Feel free to enter as many lists as you like.

Are the prices gonna stay the same or are you going to chop and change it again?

Has this sold out yet or can I still enter a team?

Those prices are incred accurate/reflective and will not be changing.

If any Luton random wants to play the comp and wants a price quoted about him/herself, I'll add it to the list in bold. Anyone else can pick these donks too obv.


Still open to Scotch professional £1/£2 arse-grinders.

OK, here's my team. Expecting this to lead to a deluge of entries in the next couple of hours...

Ed Overall 4.5m
Mel Fowler 4.5m
Dan Fish 2.5m
Dave Robinson 2m
Phil Mildon 1.5m

Total £15m

That's just a list of people who bust you causing one of ur infamous flounces

Morning Chopper Chompy.

Here is my Entry, after staying up all night researching to find the optimal Team. When do you want the cash - now? If so, I'll Bank TX immediately, please confirm.

Edna £5m
G Rogers £3m
Gav £3m
Terry Mitford £2.5m
Gary Wilson £1.5m

Sigh, obv you can't just copy mine. Amend urgently forthwith or face certain disqualification.

Copy yours? How DARE you?

Disqualify me? Say what? Say what again? I double dare you, say what one more time you.....

Hey kids, how ya doin?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMq7AQL-_Yg

Ban Him Tikay.. ban him I say.....

If you put six teams in Donks, you might just get one in the top half this time.

No, that particular list is in OP.

Have you changed your Team yet?

Hi Chompy, Please can you add me to the list of players, once added i will list my team. 

Cheers Adam.

Done. And welcome to Blonde Adam. Tradition dictates that any newbie gives his idea of the five best players in Luton. Over to you sir...

Don't feel OBLIGED to include me, but if you insist, it may hold sway in delicate matters of arbitration.

Expecting a glut of entries soon. 50 x A4 promo sheets now distributed round the G.

Also tried explaining the concept to a semi-reg nit. "Bit like fantasy football league but it's for Luton pokerers." "You support Luton Town then?" was the reply. "Whoosh" said Loofah. Whoosh indeed.

Not forgetting - "it's on Blonde Poker, should you wish to enter    ...."

"I don't play online", came the replay.

I think you'da had more luck explaining the inner workimgs of the Hadron Collider than getting your message across with that particular punter, Chomps.

Do we have to guess who Mastermind is?

 ;booder;

Is there still room for me to add a team? I'm still researching, but I'm really worried this might sell out. What's the cap please?

Now HU for rollz unf, me v TV's Tony K.

You would prob ask for a 40/60 chop knowing you.

How many people are putting teams in this year or more to the point how many people have put teams in so far ??????

Talk of more than a hundo.

Two so far.

Three when you put yours in sinkman!

Okies...im in for a nifty

Edna
Me
Tony Milioti
Drainy
Chompy

What to do when you can not sleep and you can't be arsed to play poker online, make a fantasy league team for next year. So hear we go after about five minets of thinking and a quick cup of tea hear is my team (the one that will be at the bottom of the table)



Evil
Bharat Homes
Drainy
Monkey
The Raiser

Edna's list...

Edna £5
Ed Overall £4.5m
Dave Robinson £2m
Toni Coe £2m
Mr Phan £1.5m

Nice one Pizz mate.. now give us ur real team... :)

Drainy's Donks DreamTeam:

Milly
CelticFishy
Eveready
Pizzy
Drainy

Team Lefevre incoming...

Mel Fowler 4.5
Jim McBink 3.5
Rob A 3.5
Dave Robbo 2
Phil Mildon 1.5

Hello,here is my list.
 Bharat Joshi £5m(Myself)
Adam McGuinness £4m
Tony Milliotti £2.5m
Phil Mildon £1.5m
Dave Robinson £2m
Thanks

Come on, roll up, roll up, less than two weeks to get those lists in thx

 ;booder;

Just to confirm the rules, this is a re-entry competition. You may enter as many lists as you want before 31 December. Ta.

How we looking for numbers? Must be close to capacity now?

Oh go on then    .....

Dick Lynch       'MDD'               
Andy Lyew        'Daffodil'         
Bharat Joshi     'Bharat Homes'     
Edna Adams       'Evil'             
Mel Fowler       'Swerve'           

Lolz, standard

Ladies and gennelman…

May I introduce to you…

THE 12 LUTONERS OF CHRISTMAS

Starting with...

All together now…

"On the first day of Christmas, Mrs Phan gave to me, a gutshot with her six three."



'Legend' is a word that's thrown around like confetti these days. But in the case of Mrs Phan the tag is richly deserved.

Thi Phan's poker story began back in the early 70s when she conjured up a life partner out of three bin bags and a hat. A few hours later Mr Phan arose from the sand like a non poker-playing phoenix.

A few weeks later, after a gruelling trip by flying carpet to deepest Bedfordshire, "Phan's Phancy Phood" opened on the Midland Road. "Nice dumplings!" they cheered, while applauding their host.

Northampton Aspers' (temporarily shut down by the naughty boys in charge) loss has been Luton G's gain in recent weeks and 2012 promises a lot for Mrs Phan.

Ladbrokes currently quote Thi at 66-1 for the WSOPME, while those who prefer their bets with a more novelty slant might be interested in the 12-1 that Mr Phan finally reaches for the cleaver and serves up an unexpected dish of the day!

lolz

Superb

Team Ed Overall incoming...

Edna 5m
Ed O 4.5m
Lalit 3.5m
Mr Phan 1.5m
Trevor Payne 0.5m

It's time for...

"On the second day of Christmas, Luton gave to me, two Trolling Donks,
"And Phan's gutshot with her six three."

Any list worth its salt needs a troll among the lower seedings. Just for a bit of balance like. Nirvana almost got the Festive double up but it's…

Step forward Paul 'Luther101' Noonan!

After retiring from a 53-year career as a binman in 2009, bosses allowed Paul to keep his uniform for special occasions and Wankers' Wednesdays, and also awarded him with the specs what Big Norm hooked out of Graham Taylor's bins from down the posh end of Watford.

Now a Sky  (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3)Poker (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3) regular, Paul spent the latter part of 2011 building bridges with Sky icon Anthony Kendall. Bridges under which he could lurk, lieing in wait for the thudding footsteps of useless phuqqin khunts going about their daily pokering business.

Then…

Bold type on…

Text colour red or blue (whichever might annoy Drainy most)...

And...

FIRE!!!!!!!!!

"Phuqqin re-entries?      ………            Phuq off!!!!!!!!    ………      Asked Marvin Phuqqin Sordell     ……      he Phuqqin agreed    …………      Phuqqin useless   ………    Johnson is a Phuqqin poof."

Can't say fairer than that imo.

Very good

loving the twelve days. Cant wait for the next installment!

MORE!!!!! ROFL ROF ROFL>>>>>

cant wait for Noonans response.

It's the day after the day after Boxing Day and time for...

"On the third day of Christmas, Luton gave to me, three Fresh Lens,
"Two Trolling Donks,
"And a gutshot with a six three."

Forget the MAS (Mutual Admiration Society), they are yesterday’s news - old hat if you will. Only Luther The Troll (see No.2) of the three MAS originals remains regularly on the Beds scene.

Now there's a new Luton poker posse quietly dominating G proceedings, headed by likeable youngster Ed Overall, sometimes referred to as 'Len', coz that's what Nirvana thought his name was. Awesome work.

Best known for his blue-starred baseball cap, Ed/Len can currently be picked up for £4.5m in the Fantasy League and ought to score plenty of points as long as he stops making the 'I can't see what I'm beating but…' calls against the likes of Dave77.

Also making up the 'Three Fresh Lens' are Adam McGuiness, known in some parts of very southern Scotchland as McGenius (copyright Celtic) and cinema fanatic Barratt Homes.

You can keep yer Hend(ers)on Mobs and Hit Squads - 2012 will be the year of the The Three Fresh Lens.

ok this gets harder every season! Here is my team: evil, Jim mcbink, josh matrix, fallenangel, snatiramas

After get text pestered/stalked by the St Neot's Badger Gooser, a masterly Fergiesque digital re-mastering of the MAS produced none other than;

The Drunken Fauna Interflora Mutual Appreciation Society.
           
Graham Rogers    'G-Man'             
Adrian Gotch     'Rockstar'         
Andy Lyew        'Daffodil'         
Darren Allen     'Drain Alien'       
Paul Noonan      'Luther'

Can I pay you out of the winnings in June? We - in the DFIMAS -  find it rather perturbing chucking a nifty to a grown man who earns a crust by spending 80% of his life on his knees     .....      all very sordid!

Lovin' the 12 days of xmas Mr Chompy. gg n1 vnh wp.

How many more teams do you need for the Phantasy comp to go ahead; else it's cancelled presumably?

      Drunky <hic>

ps - who's Ed Overall; photo pls??? ty ty

Here is Len Overall

Heres mine.  Bang on 15m I think

Paul Noonan      'Luther'            4
Josh Pope        'Josh Matrix'       3.5
Vince Calenti    'Celtic'            3
Graham Rogers    'G-Man'             3
Tony Deluca      'One Cornetto'      1.5

Thanks Glenda. Very useful...

Which one tho - left or right? :)

Here comes number...

"On the fourth day of Christmas, Luton gave to me, four Kronenbourgs,
"Three Fresh Lens,
"Two Trolling Donks,
"And a gutshot with a six three."

Yep, at number four, it sure isn't Darren 'Drainy' Alien.

Rightly considered one of Luton's lesser poker talents, Drainy surged on to the Blonde scene in 2009.

After a quiet beginning, the Kroney's and Stelley's kicked in, and blurry promises of spreadsheet wizardry and updates being made easy ensued.

Not long after, following the dismissal of yours truly from official duties and after a brief interview with Sweaty Terry darn the sauna, Drainy embarked on a Steve McClaren-like stint as manager of the Luton G league.

But after just one update in the first six weeks, he received the dreaded vote of confidence from league headquarters and, in due course, was replaced.

It was then that Drainy decided to switch his attentions to his drinking career in the city.

Summer 2011 saw him spread his time equally between navigating a boat down the St Albans backwaters and building an aviary to give the numerous chaffinches and eagles that populated his back garden a permanent home.

Ambitions for 2012 include trying to climb the ranks to second best poker-playing Alien and drinking more. Sure can be done. Gl sir, gl.

V v good Chomps - but only FOUR Kroneys!
Are u being cereal?
:)

January schedule - http://tinyurl.com/GCasinoLutonJanuary2012


as per George in the 2011 thread

photo shoulda bin called Drainy's harder brother.jpg, obv

Do NOT trust this website. I repeat, do NOT trust this website.

Il est quelle hour pour numero…

"On the fifth day of Christmas, Luton gave to me FIVE…BOLD…DINGS,
"Four Kronenbourgs,
"Three Fresh Lens,
"Two Trolling Donks,
"And a gutshot with a six three."

For anyone who hasn't yet seen it, here's Tracey 'Ding' Dell doing something pretty impressive, going on stage and doing a stand-up routine after just one weekend of trainingage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxf8vqIyK9I

Still pumped up on adrenaline after her Jo Brand-like efforts, Ding returned to the colonic irrigation shop the following Monday, keen to fuse her new passion with her day job.

In a surprise move, one end of the hosepipe was jammed in the starfishes of five poker players, with the other end attached to a microphone. The results were interesting.

"I 'ate pocket jacks, might start folding them pre-flop," squelched one Luton random after being irrigated to the brim.

Players 2-5, who shall remain nameless, also produced some insightful parps:

"At the end of the day ace king is only ace high, it's not a made hand."

"I put you on ace ten when you raised pre-flop."

"Go all in, most of the time they can't call."

"Aces is just one pair, some people go mad with them."

That's the comedy routine sorted for when the G call comes to appear on the last Thursday of the month then…

Come on fishies, only 12 lists in so far and only two more days to get them in.

Comp not running without 20+ entrants, let's gogogo!

Oh my, incredible pennage Mr Chomps.

His good

His one of the best.

BITB ?

BITB = ...

Bang In The Butt?
Boulder Industry Test Bed?
Bulldogs In The Bluegrass?

No matter coz this thread is officially...



Meh, gave it a go but not enough interest in the Lutons scene on here any more.

Fantasy league cancelled unf. Only a dozen teams in, which is nowhere near enough to make it of interest. Not for the want of trying tbf.

Ten Georges Leaping was gonna be epic in the 12 days of Xmas too. Bernard would have loved it. Ho humz. I can but appollagise.

Done'n'dusted...

Fantasy league apart, are you not continuing a news thread Chomps? Surely that is required?

Yuh, will start a new thread on Monday. Will C&P the result daily. Luton thread peaked in summer '09 and interest has steadily dropped off since then but the hardcore remain.

Unless, of course, eight lists suddenly appear here today. Will give it one more ramp now to some likely suspects, plus you, Lucky, Johnson, Donks. Celtic and Nirvana were supposed to be putting lists in too.

From the start I sayed I can't do a list for this time. Sorry but no fun for me if I can't pick myself.

All sing (to the Monty Python "Spam, spam, spam, spam     ....." theme tune):

"Flounce, flounce,flounce, flounce     ...."

Fking troll Nirvana, his ruined it for everyone. Flounce almost complete.

how about we just have a running thread for all thats going on at the G no League fun but just a thread that keeps running not a year on year one

TBF, and naming no names, some people like chompy went too far with the choppin and gerrymanderin, so who can trust these results anyways ? Certainly cant put money into a clear fixup for Chompy's cat food fund.

 :)

Had been planning to put the moneyz into a Betfair account. I've got a system for betting on the footy. Can't see it failing tbf.

A few suggestions from me:

1. Lower the entry to £20, from £50 (which I think is possibly prohibative).
2. Allow any number of players to be selected for the £15m total (rather than restrict it to 5). Maybe lower to £10m in light of this? (for admin reasons).
3. Let's try and keep the thread nice and friendly and fun (how it used to be) without the pissing contests, rather than slagging off or slating people (which can put - or piss - people off, and kills the contributions).
4. Re-Launch from mid-Jan if enuff interest.

Just my foughts for yoooz lot and Sweaty Terry to consider.

Hope you all have a lovely New Years Eve. ttfn.

     Drainy xx

All solid ideas Drainy but, if there's no interest, there's no interest imo.

Thought that was why it used to be a good thread myself...

Edna
Me
Gman
Jim mc bink
Trevor payne

Celtic list imminent, which means 14 total. £500 to the winner, £200 to second. Let battle commence...

same number of entries as last time


well done for doing it Chomps, it works best with you at the helm

Tytytyty.

Just for continuation purposes, and so things roll seamlessly from the old thread to the new, here's the top of the 2011 league table:

Name          Last 5   Played Won  2nd  3rd  Other  Pts    Score
Chompy        61111    43     4    1    2    5      140    3.25
JoshMatrix    58522    50     3    2    0    12     159    3.18
SirDonksalot  67127    53     4    2    5    4      168    3.17
Tightend      12523    17     1    2    1    1      54     3.17
G-Rodge       24271    76     4    2    1    20     239    3.15

Unfortunately only two names get engraved on the shield, that off the winner (that's me ta) and the runner-up (Josh Matrix).

Please leave the trophy at the G at your convenience spangles, I'll pick it up in due course.

It was a close-run thing but I have to say it was the right one-two in the end. All played out fairly and the flotsam/jetsam sunk towards the finish as yours truly went on an incred win spree (no deals done).

So there you have it...the last EVER phuqqin Luton league champion...meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'd like to thank a few people. Tighty for running the show, Sir Donksalot for not playing well enough to retain his crown, USADennis for not playing his A-game on Christmas Eve and letting me record the win needed for victory. Thank you all, I love you.

Think we know who won...

true indication of skill imo...league table does not lie

Chompy did i not see that Miss Angle put a team up at some point this week

Alex Riccardi-Warren

Enda Adams
Jim McBride
Josh Pope
Alex Riccardi-Warren
Phil Cooklin

Good spot Minkey, missed Fallen Angle's list. Here it is.

Lol - just seen this ty! Comedy competition in Green Park this Saturday the 7th Jan - details on Tikays thread if anyone wants to come.

Chomps r u continuing with the days  of Xmas or is this something else uv chucked the towel in on...?

It's now the five days of Christmas but thanks for asking. Too busy working the last couple, and the next couple, of days.

For the record, it would have been:

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, Luton gave to me twelve Bummers Bumming,
"Eleven Kalam's lazing,
"Ten Georges weeping,
"Nine Celtics eating,
"Eight Handsome Pauls,
"Seven Fish a swimming,
"Six Yodas dribbling,
"FIVE...BOLD...DINGS,
"Four Kronenbourgs,
"Three fresh Lens,
"Two trolling donks,
"And a gutshot with a six three."

thank you kind sirs was just about to pick up on this.

Sigh never met someone who quits on things so much.. Unreal

Didn't quit the 2011 league. Which I won.

Good luck getting the trophy back

lol

If a 8 way chop is done, and someone claims top points, is that allowed?

Play out a last hand and the determine the winner in a responsible way.

I have been rather lax about this, as I didn't particularly feel it made much of a difference given the money was being chopped. I'll make sure this gets abided to.

Sure did

Here's the updated table. Awaiting official confirmation of course. Leagues do need to be 100% accurate after all.

9 way comedy chop last night, chippy leader took 880, gman and me 740, rest 300 and USA Michelle 140 ;D.....blinds 8/16k r3k so there was not much play left.

Well done also to the Twirls, mainly for owning Nirvana, who then couldn't resist a flip for the world before he needed to in truth

Nirvana got owned even worse by a young lad who slow played kings, flopped a set and nirvana used the phrase " Ill put you all in" in comedy fashion drawing dead  ;)

That sure was the exit hand description I was given by king troll.

You boys should be ashamed of offering the delightful USADenise that deal...

Fantasy team when ready Celtic ta.

I blame Gman, he sorted the deal out

I have never ever ever said 'I put you all in' - I hate eeeeeettt so much when peeps do. The young man, did pwn by flatting my raise pre and re-rising after I led the flop (having politely asked him to move his hand so I could see his stack).  Think Gav 'the station' Kan, laughed a little too loud and long. I was happy to laugh along in an attempt to get in with him and try to disrupt the Gavlilian bromance.

Still, at the time it was only 20k out of my 80K so a mere blip on my way to victory.... until some mega nice bast got there against my Leons

Ah well, at least I'm not part of this ridic league :-)

Drainy's secret is out

Who this lot? Turbot fishermen ftw. Never heard of any of they'm.

Am prepared to do business on this Fantasy League thing, & settle for £400 now, you lot can divvi up the rest howsoever you like.  Just say "aye", & Chompy will sort the payments out.

"Can I get"......... (just to annoy Car-Park) confirmation of that please, Chomps? Don't be scared of the boo boys, what did they ever win?

Really pleased with all the time I invested in selecting my Team, hard work always pays off in the end.

cant beat quality or a good deal maker...

Chomping at the bit to do an update this morning I was. Wish I could but unfortch they decided to resend Monday's result instead of last night's.

G-Rodge, Luther, Edna and Darren Clarke in his jacket fashioned from quilted kitchen roll present among Fantasites. And me. Briefly.

Those £30 do take it very seriously. Like a funeral parlour it was. All sat there quietly. From James May on crack to the one with the diamond earring (dude), intensity ftw.

I may be tempted to venture up to Luton tonight, is it still Hand Job Wednesday, lots of nice chips & a 7 hour grind?

Actually a really good tourney now, with 10k + 1.5k bonus chips, 3x30min, then 25min clock. Line is set at 52-55. Fewer wankers than a year ago, more regs. Robert Kitely to beat Andrew Wool HU for rollz for the third night on the spin?

Grats to Rookie, Pizzled and Johnny Vacuumcleaner for all TID Circus last night.

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

Not buying that, Chomps would never stoop so low. Would he? Glenda, yeah, standard, but not Chomps, he's my hero. Say it ain't so.

Fraid so..took a hundred quid to get it done... ud need a shovel to get lower than the chopmeister

6th for me last night.

5th Ben Pope

no deal Lieu 1st.

3 randoms for other 3 spots.

No! It was Chinese George what had 1.5xBB. You misunderstood. Doesn't matter anyway. Result is OFFICIAL! Weighed in weighed in!

Here's the updated table. Awaiting official confirmation of course. Leagues do need to be 100% accurate after all.

Sure was....

As usual my figures are 100percent accurate.

To make everyone aware each G casino is doing there own raffle £1 per ticket for GUKPTmain event entry (seat only), draw at end of each month so manchester would be the prize this month.

So if this month doesnt meet allocated prize money of £1070 whatever has been collated so far would roll over to next month and so on.

George will correct me if im wrong here.

It's been a good start for the Sky  (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3)Poker (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3) troll, who sits just 1pt behind his master after last night's sixth. Bunch of randoms filled the first five spots. As seen below look:

Now alphabetised by christian name. Ask and ye shall receive.

Superb!

Sky Poker Tour Luton

28-29 Jan 2pm both days

Direct entry now via Sky poker Tournament Lobby for £220

Or nightly Satellite Qualification

£30,000 guaranteed

capped at 200 runners

15,000 chips and a 40 minute clock over two days

Level   Small Blind Big Blind Ante
1    25    50    
2    50    100    
3    75    150    
4    100    200    
5    100    200    25
6    150    300    25
7    200    400    50
8    300    600    50
9    400    800    100
10    600    1200 100
11    800    1600 200
12    1000 2000 200
13    1200 2400 300
14    1500 3000 300
15    2000 4000 400
16    3000 6000 600
17    4000 8000 800
18    5000 10000 1000
19    6000 12000 1000
20    8000 16000 1500
21    10000 20000 2000
22    12000 24000 2500
23    15000 30000 3000
24    20000 40000 4000
25    25000 50000 5000
26    30000 60000 6000
27    40000 80000 8000
28    50000 100000 10000
29    60000 120000 12000
30    75000 150000 15000

Winner receives entry into the DTD SPT Grand Final in September


The following events over that weekend are SPT side events

Friday 27 Jan £100 NLHE Freezeout. 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds 8pm

Saturday 28 Jan £30 NLHE Freezeout £600 guaranteed to the winner. 8,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Sunday 29 Jan £50 NLHE Freezeout 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Skypoker Adding to each of those events,

1st Sky Roller seat,

2nd Primo Seat

3rd Sky Sports Bounty Hunter Seat


All four events count for the 11-12 SPT leaderboard

i was therew chompy had more than 1.5 bigs END OF

Was it 2 bigs then

correct sir - he is a better negotiator than kofi annan

As this thread's already dying on it's posterior (bring back Tighty, say I)    ....    time for a 'Loofah Review' of last night's action, to breathe some life into it.

As your noble author dutifully lined up in the queue of one, he keenly surveyed the (not very) massed ranks of opposition.

The Khajuria Bruvs had come tooled up for the ruck - Lally with a cunningly concealed sharpened up Sudoku biro in his sock, and Chandra had bought the missus   ...    just in case things got out of hand, and some gimpy Upstart fancied a game of Kabbadi.

Not many Ultras in attendance; no Chumpy (fluid on the knee problems) - no Carpark Henderson (last seen doing Tai Chi in a hush hush location, up in the remote Chiltern Hills, in preparation for his next bare knuckle bout with Tattooed Terry at Tring Town Hall – apparently Ghengis Gav had to nurse his new boyfriend (consigned to bed with Stanley’s Spangledown Syndrome) - not even that "Bloke what's off the telly" (last seen rummaging around the shrubbery in Bushy Park - clutching binoculars - desperately trying to spot a Lesser Spotted Mozambiquan Chaffinch, or a Boeing Dreamliner flying overhead ftw) - even the (former) GUKPT Blackpool Champ hadn't made it back from his Xmas Retreat with the homeless at Centre-point, as yet (they don't hand out the Yuletide Oxfam moth-eaten cardigans till this Friday, apparently).

As for the rest      ….        a motley looking crew, who looked like they’d been ejected from a ‘Windows for Dummies’ NYE  party, and hadn’t been home for a change of underwear yet!

The off     …..       Puss Hansen assumed table captaincy.

All and sundry ‘delighted’ in his non-stop commentary, analysis of  everyone’s play, and his sycophantic attempts to wedge his proboscis between Jim McBride’s lower cheeks.

I was that impressed I spent to first hour whittling down a nearby coffee tabletop into a harpoon with my right thumbnail     ….     unfortunately, they broke the table before I could Moby Dick my new found garrulous friend!

Onto table 1 with average chips and a Grandstand seat to gaze, in awe, as Mr Pham Bam Thank You Mam got a pair nine times in each orbit, for over an hour.

Getting testily short stacked I espy A Q happily gazing up at me from the felt     ….    and all was well on planet Earth.

As the table folded round Loofah’s tendons tightened ready to launch the attack      …..       FML - 144 Year Heater (over) opens, with an evil glint in his eye.

My world span around me - confusion, doubt, self loathing (well    ….    not really, that’s impossible, tbf), a total inner emptiness engulfed me.

So – in true cowardly Chompyesque style – I jammed.

Blofeldt wickedly smirked as he turned over the crushingly dominant A K- your Noble Author fumbled, and stumbled, to his feet as the fourth brick hit the board.

A quick body swerve avoided the poisoned tipped Sudoku Spear as it ricocheted off the felt, when HM the Queen paid a Royal Visit on the river     ….     Lally was rather unimpressed!

Onto the FT with (a now righteously stack restored) Khaj Bruv and – mainly – a collection of be-spectacled, acne encrusted yoof (all wearing odd shaped creations of their Nan’s knitting needles), plus of course Mr Pair Every Hand Pham (being railed by his delicately unobtrusive wife).

Mr Phamtastic had re-raised a spindly, spineless, contribution to the pot as Loofah looked down at the Bobbies.

Jamety Jam – assuming the Pair Poacher had hit his 14th pair of nines in the last hour – and Mr P goes into the tank, mumbling about “Races”.

Happy that I was up against A K/A Q, I observed his ponderings with interest.

He eventually called - and I realised something had got ‘lost in the translation’ with “Races” – as he furnished KK for my perusal.

Obviously the Bobbies tripped up – which was only right and proper with Grand Master Lally sitting to my right, nodding approvingly.

Weird, and wonderful, play ensued as The Acneroids attempted to soft play their fellow BOBs (Body Odour Buddies) into the money.

Then, down to six, the ‘play’ of the night unfurled.

EP raise, all in, BB goes into the Tank.

BB (Suntanned John) folds his cards, with a look of anguish spreading across his un-Botoxed facial furrows      ….     then appeared rather shocked that his pocket Queens were rather good against the poo that was on offer (errrrrrrm, he said he was worried about AK, or an over-pair! Bizarre? Not at all,  I mused that this fellah – who arrives in his brand new Bentley for a £50 comp – probably had a large Leccy bill to pay, so was right to ladder!)

Well he sure got his tactics right, and surged a spot in the very next hand.

His make up of the SB was met with a disdainful Jam, as Loofah gazed wonderously down at the Big Slick in the BB.

Somehow – goodness knows how - he managed to summon up the courage to call with his pocket Kings, this man knew no fear!

A pleasing Ace was quickly followed by a rather unpleasing four clubs, and Jilted John jumped for joy.
A weird Wankers Wednesday was thus concluded pour moi, as I wandered off to gleefully sign the booby prize-ticket, and left Puss Hansen to analyse my demise.

Excellent Paul, for one so inarticulate in real life, you write entertainingly :-)

Superb stuff, Luther!

I remember when Chomps could write with such wit & originality.

PS - Qualify for Luton SPT TONIGHT, @ 9.30pm, & I'll say "I love you" on Live TV.

Think loofah has a ghost writer..no way they  are his witty words

Bit of normality restored last night with Evil getting off the mark for the campaign. Just a shame for her legion of followers that there wasn't one more donk in attendance in order to give bonus points. Ed Overall also underway in fifth, with Noonan scrambling home in phuqqin  .....  sixth

Onto Thursday     .....       which I quickly re-named 'Mirror Image Turdsday'.

Entering the Hallowed Halls, I assumed Dr Who had been busy with his Tardis - the field before me was virtually the same as the night before       ....      only Cashstruck Calenti was in absentia (obv taking his cleaning lady out for yet another Gordon Blue Nosh Up at Nandos).

The Sicilian's Style Guru - Mrs Pham - was dressed resplendently. Rarely have I seen that many diamante sparkly things concentrated in one area    ....    enough to obliterate from view an entire Dean Morris nipple.

Unfortunately she took off her sunglasses, and fantasies of dallying with a pert young SE Asian Goddess on the banks of a moonlit Mekong were - almost - replaced with a desire to trip the Closet Fantastic with an - ageing - former GUKPT Champ.

Into the fray, and Puss Hansen assumed his rightful role as Table Captain – the mere fact that he was on a different table twenty feet away was of little consequence to him   …    his real name is Eric, which seemed appropriate (thumbnail worn down to the quick, no respite in sight).

Eric may have been out of range but his Portugoose younger half (witted) brother had circumvented the submarine nets to pop up on my table   ….     And was about as welcome as a fart in a diving suit.

His sing song non stop commentary/analysis in LuMediteraenish resulted in Loofah getting to level 4 before contemplating suicide    ….   Eric can achieve the same result in under 30 minutes (you can’t beat British craftsmanship)!

Pham Man (a pre-Neolithic ancestor of Non Upright St Neot’s Man) spent the first two levels flat calling any raise/re-raise with marginally awful hands, with no little success    ….    Correction, with little success - was variance finally about to catch up with the Rangoon Rollercoaster?.

Loofah – with A K of shovels – over raises in EP      ….     Only four flatted behind!

Pham Man can’t get his stack in fast enough on a 10 high two spade flop    …   Loofah couldn’t either.

A welcome King on the turn, and I’m home     …     surely?

Nope, river pairs the dangler 6 on the board, and Phamtastic’s shove with 9 6 off win’s the day (Wifey Pham dashed over from an adjacent table, and jumped for Noy).

Down, but not out, Our Hero ground away like a groundy thing and recovered a playable pile in time to observe the legend that is Pham’s next coup.

EP raise, (standard flattedy flat), the Asian Tiger roared and shoved the lot in.

Dwellety call, (standard) Dwellety Dwellety call    ….      And Saigon’s finest looked happier than Chairman Moa nationalising a coalmine against AK x 2 on a three brick board with his Gorgeous Geishas regally in command.

The turn and river conspired to give the disgusting Villains a most unlikely Wheel apiece.

Aghast, My Hero turned to me - pointing at the board - and screeched, “Rook a Rat!”

Checking to see if Mr Pham had unwrapped a packed lunch from one of his restaurants – I mentally ‘Googled’ his exclamation – understood - and shamelessly pretended to commiserate, whilst trying not to go into laughter convulsions.

“How can these peeps get so lucky”, was my consoling whoosh as the Phamquished staggered away from the battlefield, in total disarray.

Not much fun after that – Portuguese Pedro told me how lucky I was that my tripped up pocket eights beat his A J on an A high board    ….    I smirked.

I had the balls to jam A 9 of shovels UTG with Edna in the BB on the FT.

Said gonads were surgically removed in double quick time by Her Evilness.

So it was off to gather a min cash from the desk      …..        or, as I like to call it, a Chompy Flag.

Awesome!

Found myself here by accident , so glad I did, great tr's Luther  :D

Excellent write-ups Mr Luther sir. Gg :)

Onto Thursday     .....       which I quickly re-named 'Mirror Image Turdsday'.

Entering the Hallowed Halls, I assumed Dr Who had been busy with his Tardis - the field before me was virtually the same as the night before       ....      only Cashstruck Calenti was in absentia (obv taking his cleaning lady out for yet another Gordon Blue Nosh Up at Nandos).

The Sicilian's Style Guru - Mrs Pham - was dressed resplendently. Rarely have I seen that many diamante sparkly things concentrated in one area    ....    enough to obliterate from view an entire Dean Morris nipple.

Unfortunately she took off her sunglasses, and fantasies of dallying with a pert young SE Asian Goddess on the banks of a moonlit Mekong were - almost - replaced with a desire to trip the Closet Fantastic with an - ageing - former GUKPT Champ.

Into the fray, and Puss Hansen assumed his rightful role as Table Captain – the mere fact that he was on a different table twenty feet away was of little consequence to him   …    his real name is Eric, which seemed appropriate (thumbnail worn down to the quick, no respite in sight).

Eric may have been out of range but his Portugoose younger half (witted) brother had circumvented the submarine nets to pop up on my table   ….     And was about as welcome as a fart in a diving suit.

His sing song non stop commentary/analysis in LuMediteraenish resulted in Loofah getting to level 4 before contemplating suicide    ….   Eric can achieve the same result in under 30 minutes (you can’t beat British craftsmanship)!

Pham Man (a pre-Neolithic ancestor of Non Upright St Neot’s Man) spent the first two levels flat calling any raise/re-raise with marginally awful hands, with no little success    ….    Correction, with little success - was variance finally about to catch up with the Rangoon Rollercoaster?.

Loofah – with A K of shovels – over raises in EP      ….     Only four flatted behind!

Pham Man can’t get his stack in fast enough on a 10 high two spade flop    …   Loofah couldn’t either.

A welcome King on the turn, and I’m home     …     surely?

Nope, river pairs the dangler 6 on the board, and Phamtastic’s shove with 9 6 off win’s the day (Wifey Pham dashed over from an adjacent table, and jumped for Noy).

Down, but not out, Our Hero ground away like a groundy thing and recovered a playable pile in time to observe the legend that is Pham’s next coup.

EP raise, (standard flattedy flat), the Asian Tiger roared and shoved the lot in.

Dwellety call, (standard) Dwellety Dwellety call    ….      And Saigon’s finest looked happier than Chairman Moa nationalising a coalmine against AK x 2 on a three brick board with his Gorgeous Geishas regally in command.

The turn and river conspired to give the disgusting Villains a most unlikely Wheel apiece.

Aghast, My Hero turned to me - pointing at the board - and screeched, “Rook a Rat!”

Checking to see if Mr Pham had unwrapped a packed lunch from one of his restaurants – I mentally ‘Googled’ his exclamation – understood - and shamelessly pretended to commiserate, whilst trying not to go into laughter convulsions.

“How can these peeps get so lucky”, was my consoling whoosh as the Phamquished staggered away from the battlefield, in total disarray.

Not much fun after that – Portuguese Pedro told me how lucky I was that my tripped up pocket eights beat his A J on an A high board    ….    I smirked.

I had the balls to jam A 9 of shovels UTG with Edna in the BB on the FT.

Said gonads were surgically removed in double quick time by Her Evilness.

So it was off to gather a min cash from the desk      …..        or, as I like to call it, a Chompy Flag.



[/quote]

 ;tightend; ;tightend;

Quality reportage tbf. The Luton thread is proud to be seen to be bringing on young writing talent.

Shouldn't you be at DTD Donks?

And wpwp, just seen your forum profile frape. Sigh. Where's my fking trophy?

Poor field again last night. New Year belt-tightening ftw obv. Nobody picked Angry Greg Raymer, so it's as you were fantasites.

The Sunday schedule has been changed as follows...

£5 No Limit Hold'em Rebuy 1,000pt 3.00pm 2x45/20 min clock
£75 No Limit Hold'Em Freezeout 10,000pt 4.00pm 30 min clock
£50 No Limit Hold'Em Deepstack Freezeout 10,000pt 8.00pm 3x30/25min clock

It took u 3 days to spot the brape chomps.
I woz gonna tell you if u hadn't spotted it after 6 months.

Donks and Gavlar were at the G last nite degen'ing.
They even roped me in for a wunner.
[ ] it went well

A nice quiet Friday nite out, not drinking.
Bye Monkey!

Just roffle at a couple of good poker players donking off frequently on pit games.

Who were they then ?

Sigh, thought I'd set that up perfectly. Gav and British Gas obv.

Lola obv

Good morning I would like to lay clame to 9th on the sat night comp pls there was 66 runners

Claim away Monkey. At this point in time I'll just have to take your word for it, as no results were emailed out last night. Anyone going today? Ask them to send on please? Ta.

An incredible effort from one of Luton's finest in the DTD monthly £500. So near yet so far for one of the G's stronger players, a popular guy with a winning personality. Yup, unlucky Kenny Prazar, maybe next time...

Nah, only joking, it was a deserved deep run for one of the G's more likeable characters, a player with a big future. Yup, unlucky Len Overall, but you'll have your day in the sun. Have faith.

No idea what to make of the results what came through. One was dated Wednesday 8/1 and was won by pretty boy Martin. Don't know if it's the right result but nobody picked TFOP, nor Gary Barnes (second), nor David Twirl (fourth), so not points gone a begging anyhoo.

Nobody picked George Michael, who finished fifth in the £5 rebuy either.

I'm guessing the 8pm £50er didn't run? George, would it not make sense to switch the 15lb turbot to Sunday night and have the £50er on Monday night? At the moment, it seems you've got pretty much the same comp running twice on the same day, four hours apart.

As for Saturday, nothing doing in the afternooner but 66 turned up for the evening jobbie and three fantasites made the cash.

I can now confirm that Pokerdonkey did indeed finish ninth for 5pts, with Toni Coe fourth (10pts) and Jim kicking off a good weekend for the McBink boys (older, greyer brother Alan took a slice of Oi Oi Dubai's action in Ireland (as did GIQ Plumsy)) by coming home second (15pts).


Unfortunately Jim's McBinkage means that Sir Donksalot moves into second spot in the standings. I haven't seen him this excited since he found "We're going to Disney World" spelled out using fridge magnets. Like in the advert.

By the way, I'm sure some of you will be shocked and appalled to hear that I still haven't received my trophy for winning the league. The classy thing would be to hand it over this week imo. Make a special trip to the G if needs be.

Anyone without a * next to their name in the table above is still to cough up the £50 required**. Dubai backers have no excuses ta.

** One TV celeb has, one hasn't. Just saying.

Whoops......

Now paid. Mostly. Ish.

PS - How impressed are you with the literacy skills of young Luther? He's like a sort of new age China Mug.

Have to say Luther101 is a shooooooo in for the most improved Blonde troll contributor of 2012 award.

luthers posts are quality. His use of ..... tilts the life out of me, but its absolute class and too funny. i am actually pmsl looking at chompy and sicilians avatars. see you in a few months fish!

Thought Glenda was lined up for that?

Nah. Unlike yourself, Nirvana was honoured with an apprearance in the official Blonde 2011 Advent Calendar. That disqualifies him from further awards.

Ahh, now I see. Was that the one that run the full duration, or the one which stopped at 5 Entries?

Dear George.

I feel as though I must complain about one of your new dealers tonight.

During one hand very late on in the tourney he started dealing and yet one player still had his cards from the previous hand.

Then a short while later (say 15 mins) the same dealer dealt the flop WITHOUT any hole cards.

I haven't seen that since KEMPYGATE GUKPT a couple of years ago.

I really do find it bizarre that the card room employs such amateurs.

I think that you were in the cardroom at the time, so you should know the individual that I am referring to.

Could you please investigate the matter with some urgency, and discipline the dealer in question.

I thank you kindly.

Drainy
x

Haha, you suck Darren.

I am never 'attempting' to deal again.

Sure didn't mention it at the time Vinster.
MUCH
[  ] it certainly wasn't George dealing.
Taking the piss with my post?
No sir, not me.
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

 ;bumwiggle; ;bumwiggle; ;bumwiggle; ;bumwiggle;

Another Monday, another chance for Drainy to prove his not even the best turbot fisherman in his own household, let alone in the greater St Albans area.

Cheered on from afar by their new eagle-friendly puppy, Sir Dogsalot (could zap turbots straight from the deep with he's lazer eyes imo), Mini Drainy and Drainy Snr finished one-two, further proof that the 15lb turbot is a load of Szabolcs (see third-placed finisher).

Amazingly, Drainy was the most selected fantasy player this season, with four mugs picking him up on the cheap, namely himself (obv), Chucker Kan, Marvin Phuqqin Sordell and Sinkman.

Number of days Sir Donksalot has ILLEGALLY kidnapped my trophy...

 :goodpost: Mr Chompy sir  rotflmfao rotflmfao

Ps - they r still zebra finches ffs :)

Ben Pope has been pwning Tuesday nights of late but nobody picked him, a couple instead opting for the flarier Matrix Twin, you know, the one with creative tournament totals.
Jim McBride, the non-grey, non-chubby brother, earned his trio of followers 6pts for roffling his way into fifth.

Well, the score updating took all of 0 minutes, with nobody binking points. Wp everyone.
What a ridic opening table that was last night looking around at some of the others. Seat 1 Pizzled, 3 Glenn 'I've read a book' Henderson (balance), 4 Len Overall, 5 Semtex, 6 Moi.
The winner hailed from table 2 obv, with deal-maker Wigglesworth TID from a couple of randoms and Shagpile faring best of the two professionals on display.
Nice to run good...I was chip leader when the following hand came along at 400-800. Asian nit bird makes it 3000, Blueblood Pound calls, I have AA in the SB and jam. Nit bird and Pound call with KK and QQ respectively. Board runs out XKXXQ. So I finish third. 200,000+ pot too. Awesome.
I run as good as 'haircut' Calenti at DTD*. It sort of felt like I was in a three-way all-in coup v freerolling self-sufficient nice guy rookie Hugh Fearnley-Wan-kingstool and Frank Flanagan for the world. Always the newbies and nits that TID (nap).

*Enough time has passed now I feel. Fking trolls post abuse within 10mins of bad beatage but I like to think I'm a bit classier than that.

Trevor Webber actually cracked a good joke last night. "Why did the chicken cross the road?...Coz it was up Anthony Worrall-Thomson's jumper."

Leading NFL and roulette expert Sir Donksalot showed he can also turn his hand to the pokerz also by TID from a whopping field last night. Some players can handle the pressure and get results when they count, like four wins in December for example, others only manage it when the heat is off.
Dinh Phan is Mr Phan right? Will update the scores later. Golf first.

fyp

The most worrying thing about Chompy's daily updates (as amusing as they are; cos his a funny guy) is the TIME that they are being posted.
All very strange in 2012!
U not well Chompy?

He was getting up early so Gavin could thrash him at golf again..so he could practice flouncing :)

Nice stalkage attention to detail Drainy!

Yuh, couple of random posting times of late. Friday night I had a cold come on. The best-known cure for colds is to do a fantasy league update in the early hours, which explains that one.

This morning had to be at Bedford Golf Club for early round with Pizzlefish. Funny course that one. Built as a sort of golf course/village combo. Feels like you're playing in someone's back garden some of the holes. Honourable draw, and chopped nearest the pin bets too. Golf is incred.

Great Denham? Long first parallel to the bypass?

Tis where I used to live (plus broken windows from sliced 3 woods)

Have you played the old Bedfordshire yet, on Bromham Road?

I'm suprised you didn't take the win tbf..

That's the one, Chompy sliced one into someone's garden

Great Denham ftw, yup. An OK course but that's it, just OK. Pretty soulless in truth. Much better around for £25 and wouldn't play it again. Broke the course record, time to move on.

Yet to find a really good course in Bedford, although the three at Woburn are obv exceptional. And Handsome Paul is now a member at Wentworth, so will have to give that a spin before I turn pro in the spring.

Get back in time to hit Huntingdon and Musselburgh in-running for mad ones...and the fking Betfair site has crashed again. Wankers.

Ring up Betfair and ask them if you chop the money can you take the win..... :)

Number of days my trophy has now been kidnapped?

Updated list...


Good to see Donks back on top of a table.

can we talk about me owning dean and then him gettin lucky ???

Lolz having a hand 3 handed and losing a 60/40 isn't owning.... 

Last night was a good one for well-respected circuit pros (albeit grimmer Johnson didn't feature), with WPT favourite Claypole Conning second, cash-grinder Calenti sixth and King Rollo seventh.
Grats to Scotty77 and Aviery Man for putting a cash player in their tournament fantasy team and binking 8pts. My list officially sucks.

Claypole lost to a girl?

HU for rollerz?

Who's aviery man?
And wot's an aviery pls?

Oops, misclick obv.

You're Aviary Man, Albert Sapiano is Apiary Man. Sorted.

Took 2 hands. Absolutely crushed him.

He still managed to mention 'world poker tour final table' 38 times in those two hands though. That's a high rate imo.

Ok I suppose u were shuvin for value lol  Ks Th ;)

Lolz let's face it u don't have a hand there u can't call..u know I'm usually nicking..I know ur usually 3betting me light...I'm 4 betting light to shove u off...pretty standard...and u thought for quite a while before u called.. I had 400k u 100k ..uv got to make the call for ur tourney life not me.its called pressure which u can do when uv most of the chips by pwning souls all night :)

Value bet = small 4 bet inducer not shove

Unlike the New Orleans Saints (who were never gonna cover the spread against the 49ers last night), Sir Donksalot is looking like running away with this thanks to his high-octane offense.
Another 10pts from Jim McBink gives him a three touchdown cushion at the top, although yesterday was also a good one for Fallenangel, with McBinkage and McPopeage easing her above a couple of old nits and into second.

What is actually on at the G today? (apart from the fiver rebuy?)

Has it changed from; 10k chips + 30 min clock. Starts: 6pm?

The G webshite is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo topical, it's poker schedule goes right up to Boxing Day 2011.

The sterling work of the poker room staff get's undermined - yet again - by the Grosvenor's shambolic (sh) IT farceroids.

if only you had been in the casino yesterday and they had a printout of the Jan schedule on the desk where you bought in for the comp. these G webiste issues must be a new thing.

£5 No Limit Hold'em Rebuy   1,000pt   3.00pm   2x45/20 min clock
£75 No Limit Hold'Em Freezeout   10,000pt   4.00pm   30 min clock
£50 No Limit Hold'Em Deepstack Freezeout.   10,000pt   8.00pm   3x30/25min clock

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?pli=1&key=0AvJBG90m5LvRdGcxT2RHSTNCMTdoQ2d5M3Q2ckRfWHc#gid=0

Last week the 4pm didn't run.

Ty Mr Welldone    ...    playing either, or both, should I say?

Neither, gonna stay in the fenland bunker and cheer on the Giants'n'Texans. Yeeehawwwww.

The who, and the what?

Are you referring to that American 'game'    .....       rugby for pussies?

NFL? Yeah, hardest game in the world.

I did some training with the Cambridge Cats about ten years ago but never actually played a match. Training was hard enough.

So I end up on the offensive line facing some seven-foot beardy neanderthal called 'Spook' who used to be on the San Francisco 49ers practise squad or some such. That sure ended well.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffff - the only sports that need crash helmets and swaddling are cricket, F1, and MotoGP.

Years ago the London Monarchs squad used to train - and drink in the Red Lion - in Bushey.

When challenged by the local Rugger Buggers to a 'round of each' for charity   ....     the big 'hard' Yanks would only play the American pansy version - because, "sheeeeeeeeeeeeet you guys don't wear body armour in that crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee rugby".

Naturally, they were the laughing stock of SW Herts during thier very brief stint as 'Champions of Europe'    .....   before they folded!

I assume your interest on NFL stems from your desire to perfect bodyslams on the Baltic hostage      .......      should he attempt to free himself from the 'Fenland Fun Palace'.

Is the 4pm running?

Yup - phoned up earlier, it started with 10 on 2 tables.

It could be a good comp (eventually) once players actually know it exists!

Around 35 each for the £5 rebuy and the 8pm £50er but just the seventeen for the 4pm £75er. Results not really of much interest tbh, with Andy Daffodil the only point scorer, finishing second in the evening jobbie.

Sky  (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3)Poker (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3) Tour Luton

28-29 Jan 2pm both days

Direct entry now via Sky  (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3)Poker (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3) Tournament Lobby for £220

Or nightly Satellite Qualification

£30,000 guaranteed

capped at 200 runners

15,000 chips and a 40 minute clock over two days

Level   Small Blind Big Blind Ante
1    25    50    
2    50    100    
3    75    150    
4    100    200    
5    100    200    25
6    150    300    25
7    200    400    50
8    300    600    50
9    400    800    100
10    600    1200 100
11    800    1600 200
12    1000 2000 200
13    1200 2400 300
14    1500 3000 300
15    2000 4000 400
16    3000 6000 600
17    4000 8000 800
18    5000 10000 1000
19    6000 12000 1000
20    8000 16000 1500
21    10000 20000 2000
22    12000 24000 2500
23    15000 30000 3000
24    20000 40000 4000
25    25000 50000 5000
26    30000 60000 6000
27    40000 80000 8000
28    50000 100000 10000
29    60000 120000 12000
30    75000 150000 15000

Winner receives entry into the DTD SPT Grand Final in September


The following events over that weekend are SPT side events

Friday 27 Jan £100 NLHE Freezeout. 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds 8pm

Saturday 28 Jan £30 NLHE Freezeout £600 guaranteed to the winner. 8,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Sunday 29 Jan £50 NLHE Freezeout 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Skypoker Adding to each of those events,

1st Sky Roller seat,

2nd Primo Seat

3rd Sky Sports Bounty Hunter Seat


All four events count for the 11-12 SPT leaderboard


Many of you going to be playing this?

 4d
Yes - absolutely owned tighty - she put me in a coffin....this was slightly tempered by outplaying the cash game fish Calenti at every opportunity

You can't boast about this as it is standard

15lb Turbot result sure came through this morning. Anyone catch owt?

EDIT...

Oops, no turbots, it was a shatellite last night.

No, defo not a shatellite last night but no result sent through. Anyone?

Bubble saver for me last night.

Ed overall for the win, after a masterclass from MDD on how to limp fold call desimae an 80k final stack to 30k then call down Ed on K high flop and turn to 2 outer and hit his set 5s get back to 80plus and then go out in 7th.
If Mrs Phan is in the dream teams 2nd place finish no other leaguers present.

Good stuff. Nobody picked MDD this season. Need no. of runners and your position G-Rodge.

The following grimmers, I need payment pleasse (will be present tonight to accept dimes):

Leading hoops expert Dean Morris, Alex Riccardi-Warren, Paul Noonan-Troll, Darren Alien, Ady Lovelock, Len Overall, Julian Lefevre, Dave Johnson, Bharat Joshi

Was either 43 or 48 cant remember.

Fantasy money shipped before Hoopla fever takes it all....

Hopeless display from all the fantasites on display last night, with not a single one of them managing to cash.

Not even Vinni?

Especially not. He was sat with Andy Daffodil, chomping something and waiting for two more to get a cash-grinding table going, well before 9pm.

Nirvana nit-rolled some poor kid before getting pwned by eventual winner Saif Assouses during 50-100.

JJ < 66 @ 300-600 here.

Mrs Phan went deep again.

Gonna stick to NBA from now on.

Im playing this :)

Defo playing this. Probably.

Two Aliens playing this. Definitely Maybe.

Oh i think i can crawl out of hibernation long enough to come along :)

And they said there was no value in playing the friday comp..

Another mahoosive Thursday field last night with 68 rocking up to the G. MDD finished ninth but nobody picked the veteran diplodocus, so Barratt Homes the only fantasy scorer in sixth (8pts).
That means all of Poker Monkey's players have scored points, which can only augur well just a few weeks into the comp. Barratt picked himself but is still detached in last place unf.

Luther & Plum not paid? Disqualify them both, imo.

Both have until the end of the month to cough up or face being perma-labelled grimmers. That wouldn't be a good tag for well-respected tournament circuit pro Dave Johnson fo sho.

Sort of fancy the hundo tonight, probably with a Nandos' thrown in, but it's double eviction night on Celeb BB and Madsen is beginning to go nuts. Life is full of tough decisions.

(http://i42.tinypic.com/dlkg2d.jpg)

£100 NLH Freezeout tonight. Registration is open til 9.30pm - Presently a £2500 overlay. Lots of value!

Ended up with a £1,600 overlay, which was taken advantage of by Chundercat Eggchewier, Angry Greg Raymer and Danny D'Boring among others. No points scorers.

Wow - a £1600 overlay and I even stayed away to give Vinny a chance and he still doesn't deliver

You should have been there, Shaun. Angry Greg Raymer was very angry, & was giving free lessons. After every hand.

Luton G is full of pissed poker league idiots.
[ ] Having trouble fitting in.

A bumper field of 98 pub players and Phans proved the ideal cocktail for Luther last night, as he forgot all about the Marvin Phuqqin Sordell transfer talk amid a solid fifth-placed finish. That's good for 12pts for himself and Scotty the TV type.

Any idea whats on at the g today/tonight?

Usual shiz according to this...

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?pli=1&key=0AvJBG90m5LvRdGcxT2RHSTNCMTdoQ2d5M3Q2ckRfWHc#gid=0

8pm >> 4pm though unless one likes STTs

Cheers Chompy.

Again just a round dozen for the £75er at 4pm, so no points there, and Lalit the only scorer in the 33-runner main, TID as Yosa stared on admiringly. 15pts for Len Overall's team.

Don't forget, tonight is NOT Moaners Monday, it's the Live Super Sat (5 seats Guaranteed) for this weekend's Sky Poker Tour. Which is now close to being sold out.

Luton G DO have a small allocation of seats for Direct sale (@ the venue) but Sky Poker will probably reclaim them if they are not all sold by tomorrow.

For those who play the Sky Poker Event this Saturday & Sunday, please be aware that ALL payouts will be direct, into your Sky Poker account, & NOT in cash at the venue. There will be no exceptions to this. 

There are also Sky Poker badged Sideys on Friday, Saturday, & Sunday evenings. Payouts for these will be "as normal", in cash, at the venue.

This weekend will be your chance to play the greats of the game - Thewy, Carlo, Sicilian, Scotty, Celtic, me (obv)  - as well as recreational players like Chompy.

Thanks Tikay
What's the entry/ format for tonight's Satty plz
Ty ty

No idea, Drainy, sorry. We allocated 5 seats to Luton-G for a Live Super-Sat, which seems right & proper, & we always do that, but it's entirely up to the venue how they run, & structure, the Super-Sat.

We also gave them an extra allocation of Seats for "Direct" sale at the G, but we MAY reclaim some of them, as the Event is selling out fast.

Ok Tks anyway TIkay.
I'll contact young George.

£20 rebuy. 8pm start

One seat for every £220 in the prize pool

Believe its 5,000 chips 2 x 30 minute rebuys then 25 minutes all the way

Seats avaialbe: as many as it makes

5 guaranteed ?

they were originally allocated 5 seats in a live satellite, now they've been given some other seats to sell at the venue it can make more if necessary

Not guaranteed as such but pretty sure it will make 5+.

Starting stack is 3,000.

Re-buy period is 3 x 30 minutes, then a 20 minute clock.

Thanks chaps.

5 seats GTD or not George?

Website says 5000 chips btw!
(it also says 5 seats)

It's 5 seats guaranteed.

It was a mistake, as it uses the exact same structure as the GKUPT satellite the week previous.

A mistake on the website?
Nooooooooooooooo shizzle!
:)

Tks for confirmation Geo

I'm not having it...a mistake on the website? No, sorry, can't have that.

Is the Sunday schedule changing for Feb George?

sell out last night with 10 seats given away and 11th got £180.

6 regs got seats and 4 randoms.

See you Saturday, Graham!

The seat winners were, I believe.....

Graham Rogers

Adrian Pullar

Mark Turner

Kevin Gandon

Paul Noonan

Matthew Sadigh

Rajesh Ganatra

James McShane

Simon Galloway

Not sure which are the "regs & randoms", but I've often heard Mr Noonan described randomly.

Starts 2pm Saturday.

The Friday evening & Sunday evening £100 Sideys should have much bigger fields than usual, & there will be a £30 jobbie @ 8pm on Saturday. These three sideys all include added value. Of sorts.

I'm led to understand that the Dress Code has been relaxed to "GUKPT" standards, whatever that means, but I think you'd be mad to test it.

Hundo Sundo?

Please confirm what's on George? Webshite says...

Sun 29th      Sky  (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3)Poker (http://affiliatehub.skybet.com/processing/clickthrgh.asp?btag=a_4080b_3) Tour - Day 2   Carried forward   2.00pm   45 min clock   
      £50 No Limit Hold'Em Deepstack Freezeout.   10,000pt   8.00pm   3x30/25min clock   

Yes its a £50 on Sunday


Hoodies, trainers allowed for the SkyPoker events

lol... you either have a dress code or you don't...whether its right or wrong..can't change it to suit makes it a complete mockery otherwise...

It was changed, I gather, for the GUKPT week last year

A few SP players requested the same this weekend, and it was allowed

All good (as long as reception know....)

Do we really get name badges? Are Posh shirts OK?

Yes, you'll get a badge.


No football shirts, ripped clothing, workmens clothes etc etc

Will Luther have to sell his seat? See Johnny Vacuumcleaner also one won.

why have the rule at all then ? just gonna change it willy nilly when a tour blows into town and makes you change it cos they are paying you money... oh wait...shocker...

This

And this.

Complete farce of a place.

It's not gonna raise my blood pressure one way or another, but personally, I wish it had been left "as normal".

I tried explaining it to a kid next door, the "no-trainers thing", & he got a bit heavy with me. "It's only for a day, you must have a proper pair of shoes to your name" I said.

He shot right back, "You don't understand tikay, it's impossible to be comfortable, or walk a lot, unless wearing trainers".

Nope, I don't understand, mate.

yeah its pathetic.... the grief they give people over shoes hood etc... even going so far as to make a specific announcement in the card room saying from now on absolutely no hoodies allowed whatsoever.. then its hello Mr GUKPT , Mr Sky..' oh you'd like us to let people in with hoodies or ur going to tell us to GTFO...yes of course just for you no problem..so when the bloke we let in with a hoodie this week trys to get in with same hoodie next we will hang him from the yardarm..... abs pathetic..have a dress code or don't whatever it is stick to it.

I suspect you'd find the same frustration plagues us, too.

You want to wear trainers with your suit?

I do, if you catch me walking in. :>

And then you wear a market-stall pinny Geo, just to add to "the look".  ;D ;D ;D

So infra dig to wear trainers now I'm grown up.

Trainers together with a romper suit seems to be standard attire for 80% of the population. I don't think they're all athletes though, could all be shot putters I guess.

The dress code must be enforced to avoid the G looking like Town Centre, Any Town on Sat afternoon

Lol @ "romper suit".

Not wrong, either, on several levels.

Think dresscode standards these days are woeful. People think they can slob about in public in clothes you wouldn't use to wipe up the dogs sick. I mean look at chompy rolling up to the G with its swish corporate decor in the same un-ironed Deepstack t-shirt or Dennis the menace 2nd eleven stripey jumper.

Makes me cross to see people turning up at nice restaurants  ( Harvester for example..the new refit ones not the old pub style with cushions ) dressed in old dirty tracksuit bottoms because their lazy, fat processed food filled arse is too big for anything remotely smart

...just saying....

Sure got last night's result? Anyone?

Better get down to Matalan to buy a hoodie for the weekend I spose. More expense.

Message incoming on the Evil-line...

"This Sunday's £50, 20,000 chips with 30min clock right through."

Yes chomps Edna has asked me to post it as a reminder.

Sunday

4pm start

20,000k chips

30 min levels

Every sunday from now on.

Buy in ?   Guarentee ?

Is this comp still on Sunday because of the Sky thing ?

There is no mention of this tournament on the link on here.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?pli=1&key=0AvJBG90m5LvRdGcxT2RHSTNCMTdoQ2d5M3Q2ckRfWHc#gid=0

Are you sure it is not 10,000 chips and not 20,000 chips.

Not this Sunday I don't think. Wouldn't be the firsttime the schedule given out was wrong though

Georgecan you confirm either way,as I need to let the Sky player sknow if the event is now 4pm not 8pm

That change is from February.

Edna is under the impression it is starting this weekend, can you correct us all so we know it is on this weekend and tell edna if present tonight??

The board that we put says that it starts from February. The January schedule is already as advertised.

So the 20k stack starts this weekend?

The bord in the cardroom says it starts this weekend

No it doesn't.

It says February.

Lol, the patience of a Saint, but even then, it gets stretched to the limit sometimes.

Are there ANY collective of people on earth more difficult to work with than poker players? THREE TIMES he has said it!

Eventually, George's patience will snap....

I love George.

OK, one more time, George.

WHEN does it start?

(http://i44.tinypic.com/ddnpj6.jpg)

hate to add fuel to the fire but when i was there last night it did say something about the Sunday tournament changing this Sunday. Did not have a date. Just said this Sunday.

Direct Online buyin for SPT Luton closes at 4pm this afternoon

Satellites have already finished

Wankers' Wednesday? What's going on? Lost its mojo and been replaced by Thursday as the most popular tourney of the week obv.

I'll be there tonight should the following grimmers wish to cough up a nifty...

Paul Noonan
Alex Riccardi-Warren
Ed Overall
Ady Lovelock
Darren Alien   
Dave Johnson
Bharat Joshi

Last night saw Megadonk beat Anon Daffodil beat Rob Asthma beat random Aussie cricketer beat Mrs Phan. Nobody picked Mrs Phan. No surprise tbf but she'd be top scorer imo. Just goes to show.

Thinking about a full weekend of poker. Anyone know what's on this Sunday?

The board that was being displayed when I was on shift read something like this.


======================================

FEBRUARY

Fab Friday

£75 NLH Freezeout - 10,000 chips - 8pm -  £5000 Guaranteed

Super Sunday

£50 NLH Freezeout - 20,000 chips - 4pm- £2,500 Guaranteed
=====================================


So, for the last Sunday of January, our tournament will be commencing at 8pm.

Hope this helps,

George.

Sigh, no result from last night. Anyone?

gav won

OK, we're just about up to date now. Ben Matrix-Pope, he of gutshot-chaseville, was fifth on Tuesday and sixth last night, but nobody picked he'm. The Pilot found it one all-in too many last night as he crash-landed in fourth, so it was down to Pizzlefish to TID with the MOF. Over 50 runners, so bonus points for Sir Anthony of Sky, Sir Chaffinch of Albans and Lord Pizzled of Hempstead.

The following grimmers still need to cough up a nifty...

Paul Noonan
Alex Riccardi-Warren
Ed Overall
Ady Lovelock
Darren Alien   
Dave Johnson
Bharat Joshi

George, the results seem 50-50 at best to get sent out when you're off fiddling around with your waterlogged washing machine. Could you put on your best suit and have a word like?

<Ahem>
Excuse me Mr Flouncer Chompy Sir, you don't appear to have added Gavlar's point'age for us??
<cough>
SCoA

Sorted Drainy.

Number of days MY trophy has been kidnapped...?

Any Luton Regs up @ Manchester's GUKPT today?

I think that's Nick Crisp on the live feed?

http://www.d4events.com/coverage/streaming/

I see he was 5th in the £300  too.

Er, no result. Again.

I got the result emailed Chomps.

I can't remember the exact finishing order but from memory it was something like:

1. Tony Millioti
2. Anon Eveready
3. Cash-boy Calenti
4. Geisha Gav
5. oh, and me.

I cant remember the exact finishing order but just add those points to my league table tks;
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Saw the result earlier. Noonantroll was in there somewhere but can't remember it all. Will have a good update on Monday if they get emailed.

Just to confirm the only event tomorrow if the 8pm usual tourney? Or is there one in the afternoon?

Bunch of randoms and Ian the pisshead in the cash positions in last night's 8pm thingy, so no points there.

Ian didn't seem that pissed last nite (well not when we left anyway).
ps - I was armed with a nifty for you Chumpy but you weren't there.

He was definitely there earlier, wonder where he went ?

Fri result

1 Trevor Payne
2 Julian Thew
3 Burhan Karasalih
4 Simon Taylor
5 Bharat Joshi
6 Paul Noonan
7 David Griffith
8 Stephen Packford
9 George White
10 Alan McBride

77 runners

Sat's £30'er

  Position     Player ID
                                            Name                             Nickname                         Prize    Points     Nationality
                   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                       1        159611      Paul Garner                                                       £840     0

                       2        153422      Paul Fowler                                                       £590     0

                       3        227826      John Leonard                                                      £380     0

                       4        223353      David Bland                                                       £230     0

                       5        154471      Michael Mcnamara                                                  £190     0

                       6        512276      Tyrone Cato                                                       £140     0

                       7        152540      Ian "Doesn't mind a drink or two" Willmott              £110     0

                       8        854591      Simon Mark Allen                                                   £80     0

                       9        153716      Doreen Meyrick                                                     £70     0

                       10       243203      Roddy Farmer                                                       £70     0


                         Entries .....     83                                                              TOTAL:  £2,700

Last night's result...will update scores later...

1 Scott James Oreilly £970
2 Aman Dhaliwal £700
3 Stephen Hay £470
4 Edna Adams £270
5 Gary Picton £220
6 Robert Asmaee £170
7 Peter Munro £140
8 Tatenda William Banda £110
Entries .....     55

Points all over the shop at the weekend...Trevor Payne 21, Bharat Homes 12, Nonnantini 11, Edna 10, Rob A 8.

The following grimmers still need to cough up a nifty...

Alex Riccardi-Warren
Julian Lefevre
Ed Overall
Ady Lovelock
Darren Alien   
Dave Johnson

Need it one way or another before Vegas jaunt next Monday please.

No result last night. For the fifth time in the past week. This is becoming hassle-icious tbh. Only half the field have paid and the result never rocks up. Might pull the plug and hand out refunds.

I smell a flounce...

only 24 runners last night.

Luther 4th

But only 24 runners i believe if that helps

Would anyone object to refunds all round?

I'm never gonna win this one so am happy to do a token payout to the top three, of £20, £20, £10 to compensate.

Persevere a little longer, imo.

If you end up "shutting up shop", I'll go halves with the compensation payments.

Happy to do a bit of debt collecting Wednesday.

Make the fkers pay imo.

Ahh, my bad, his problem is with the non-payers? I thought it was the irregularity of results from the G.

Must say, Chomps did not seem too happy when last seen exiting Luton-G, after going busto to claw, a full 7 minutes into Level 1, at 25-50 in a 15,000 chip 45 min clock deepie. He did have A-high, to be fair.

Objection (Flounceometer off the scale)     ....   

Where's the Famous Fenland Fighter in you?   

Did Hereward the Wake capitulate without a fight?

Did Bouddicca (the correct spelling for the Mylandesque, who seem to think the Queen of the Iceni was Bodey's Ear, or Britney Spears) retreat every time a chariot got a flat tyre?

Get your Fetish (thigh high) Fen Waders on and storm out of the bullrushes to attack Palermo - a crumbling shadow of it's former glory     .....     pffffff owned by the Surrender Monkey tribe, immortalised on Ch 5's Fifth Gear (all reverse).

Thread delivers!
 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Mrs Phan is the best but, unlike Adrian Maricrappa and Marvin Phuqqin Sordell, she didn't find herself much in demand in the January window. We are, I feel, all noy boys, for not snapping up such a prodigious talent.

She won it last night obv, but wouldn't have scored points anyway. Only 23 runners.

What a final table last night! Although that was David Johnson the Luton reg, not David Johnson, the well-respected circuit pro right?

A good night for Drainy, with both McAnonEverReady (15pts) and Cash-pro Calenti (12) scoring well. Noonantroll (5) back in sixth.

The following grimmers STILL need to cough up a nifty...

Alex Riccardi-Warren
Julian Lefevre
Ed Overall
Ady Lovelock
Darren Alien   
Dave Johnson

Need it one way or another before Vegas jaunt next Monday please. Will be present this evening for debt collection. Otherwise the comp WILL go the same way as this week's jump racing.

Thursday night now a turbot then?

http://www.grosvenorcasinos.com/local-casinos/luton

Nope - just another example of Grosvenor Head Office shoving the website into the hands of the carpark attendant.

3 x 30 then 25 min levels after that.

ffs sort it out  !!!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - GG team!
Btw anyone seen Tony Millioti up there recently?
His letting my team down badly.

& wd to Noonantini for yet another FT.

Ps - excuse me Choppy.
<cough> Grimmer, ahem. <cough>

WTF, [almost] every comp is now 20 mins after the re-entries.
That's just gay.
How to kill a card-room (imo)

......George...?

GG G Casino...

20min levels for all tournaments my arse

Lolz. Wp choppy.

Anyway, bye G.

 ;boltpp; ;fishing; ;tk; ;tk; ;tk; ;tk; ;tk; ;tk;

Refunds pls Chompy. All Play now void IMO.
Shame.
And yes, I am being cereal.

they've done it so comps end earlier?

has there been much demand for shorter clocks then?

If thats so..i prob won't play very often

Yup, Lutoners, the webshite is correct...

http://www.grosvenorcasinos.com/local-casinos/luton

The majority of comps are now 3x30mins followed by 20min throughout.

I was on a fishing trip before when I said the fantasy league was being scrapped. Donks was top. I was bottom. It felt too good to miss. But I'm afraid is is now gone and I'll divi up my £50 between the current top three thus: £25, £15, £10.

The official line(s) last night were...

"It's head office who decide the structures and there isn't much leeway."

"We've had a lot of complaints from regulars that the tournaments are going on too late."

Either of these close to the mark George?

Well played Simon 'run good' Galloway last night, TID from a random, Phil Mildon and Johnny Vacuumcleaner. KK < 44 here on the FT bubble. Marv.

Edna was fumming last night. So was MDD (stdd). Andy Daffodil heading elsehwere he says. I'm not playing at the G again until sensible poker returns. Back to London ftw.

Numbers may well not be affected by turning every comp into a turbot. For every Edna that disappears, a James May on crack will come on in.

This idea that everyone wants deeper stacks and shorter clocks? Can't have it at all. The only one who liked the changes at table 1 last night was the miserable old dude who had half his breakfast down his top. Nuff sayed.

December we had 30min clocks for everything. January it was 3x30mins then 25mins. February it's 3x30mins then 20mins. Why George?

1m20mins of poker then 15min break? It just looks cynical. Sorry.

I think the new structures are a breath of fresh air for the comps. For far to long its been a fold fest to 6am for a 5 way chop. its about time the Luton regs learnt how to play comps again to get their chips moving and earn a cash.

3 x 30 mins to begin and 30 min final tables with the redic starting stacks their is still plenty of play all the way through the comps. On Wed night the comp played out without the ave stack falling below 15bbs.

starting stacks are definitely too big to start. Could lower these and keep the clock, and produce a far smoother progression to a final/force people to play earlier.

Not what many punters want tho, they like chips to start irrespective of levels and clock

IMO shorter clocks are good for the room....really bad and tilting sitting there forever to lock up a min cash.

Yep i agree.
A 15 minute clock from the start would be best, maybe 10 mins after re-entries, and then 5 mins for the FT.
Sounds about perfect imo.

Good luck George. <sigh>

What's the prob with having 3x30mins then 25mins throughout?

Four levels to the first break = 1h55mins of poker. Then 5x25mins = 2h5mins. Then you can justify having your 15min breaks to encourage everyone to go play roulette.

That would mean 14 levels played by 2.30am, end of 3k-6k level. As often as not it'll be all but done by then.

If you want to play bingo there's a building next to Circus Circus innit.

Never even looked at the clock last night.

Sitting on my 2nd table with six corpses I'd already lost the will to live - mercifully I got knocked out, before I joined their eternal stupor.

Wonderful     .........      20 min levels, with 15 minute breaks - wtf thought that one up?

On perusing the awful G website - goodness knows how they managed to update it so promptly for Feb from Boxing Day 2011 - I found this little 'peach';

Every Tuesday 29,000 chips + 29 min clocks. Starts: 8pm. Quantum Leap Year - No Limit Hold'em £30 + £5 reg  

So there have been so many complaints about 'late finishing' comps that they stick a 29k stack with 29 min blinds (idea stolen from The Western, I believe) on     ....     on a Tuesday (for an entire year)!

And lookety look - even the Friday Wunner £75 is also a turbo crapshoot from level 4 (obv the G fails to realise that saturday & sunday follow friday)    .....     'great' for poker - presumably with 15 min levels also, in the hope that the entire cardroom will fight their way through the Friday Night Pisshead Hordes to get to the Blackjack/Roulette tables.

How to Kill a Cardroom by Grosvenor Head Office      .....      gl with the cash table rake.

What's on @ Dunstable tonight?

Also the Western friday comps - afternoon and evening - have £5k in guarantees + chips too (and no soppy dress code)!

UL George, all your good work over the last year ruined in an instant      ....     cya possibly once a week/month from now on, and maybe for the odd satellite!

Maybe Tom Myland will relent and return to make up the numbers?

Have lost all want to play at the g and I think this is the last blow. Turbo comps, Dearlers that think going to work is just a bit of fun, people being made to fell like there just not wanted end of.



R.I.P Luton G Cardroom it was nice to know you

It is pretty cynical in that re-entry levels remain long and then it gets short. Also a lot cheaper staff wise if comps finish quicker and longer breaks are quite thinly veiled extended gambooooooool breaks

That said. I don't object that much really. Stacks have got silly large for so many comps that a shorter clock will move things quicker and I believe, favour the better more active players.

Would prefer to turn the clock back about 2-3 years, like Tighty suggested and reduce stacks and maintain clocks at 30 mins

The Friday comp used to be ideal with 5K starting stacks

Cardroom demographic has been changing a fair bit over the last couple of years and I guess this will just carry on without any real fall off in numbers.

I think it's short sighted overall as they separated themselves from local comps with somewhat decent structures. This is pretty much gone now. Be interesting to see and whether James and Genting spot a gap they can fill here.

Does it favour the more active players though? Doesn't it favour the likes of Chinese George? The quicker they get to 1500-3000 and get it all in pre with AJ v QQ the better innit?

Most of those than favour a 'quicker comp' tend to be the tardiest to ever get their chips in     ....

Where's the evidence that the punters want bigger starting stacks, and they bring in bigger fields?

As Glenn said, 2 years ago the Friday £75 was 5k chips, and the sunday £100 was 7.5k chips. I Both got significantly larger fields than the comps now..

Last night @ 1500-3000. Poker genius shoves in the C/O for 14.5k with 16mins on the clock. Folded to Johnny Vac playing 60k in the BB...

"How much is it please dealer...? I have a pair here...Don't think I can fold this hand...You want a call? 14 point five exactly...? You got a pair...? Big ace...?"

10mins left on the level...

Folds...

"I don't need to take a race at this stage with my stack."

You might be right, I just like talking

In the long run.. comps like this would favour people like Alex Martin is what I'm thinking - a better, active player.

Reason being is that he aint waiting for hands and people like he'm with a better understanding in a theory sense are going to get their shoving / calling ranges more correct than someone like Chinese George - thelong run may not exist in live poker but I think I'm right in theory

But this is just lol bad, espesh in a turbot. Overall this should favour you not hinder you doncha think

This is just so wrong Paul. Shows a real flaw in your understanding of tournament poker if you truly believe this.

So much comedy in this thread today.

New structures are fine. Forces people to make mistakes. Which is what we want, right?

More or less spot on Glenda.

There you go       .....      a guarantee and an 'unfashionably long' 25 min clock over at Dunstable;

Friday 3rd February
£1500 Prize Pool Guaranteed
£30 + £3 No Limit Holdem Freezeout
8k Chips, 25 Min Clock, 8pm Start

Alternates & 1 Re-Entry Available in First 4 Levels
Early Bird Bonus - Register Before 7:45pm for 1,000 Free Bonus Chips
Dealer Bonus - 2,000 Bonus Chips for an additional £2 Charge

Or;

Big stack & guarantee down @ The Western

8:30pm
£3000 GUARANTEED!!!!
£1150 GUARANTEED TO THE WINNER!!!!!
£53 12.5k chips (+optional £10 for 7.5k bonus chips)
Plus a chance to win a seat in to our £15,000 Spring Guarantee!!!

So how is that better than a 5k gtd comp at the G?

And how many 'budding Alex Martins' are present @ the G most nights, Glen?

Bar Vinny, there's hardly a horde of active players let loose every night.

Just wait till you're stuck on a table with a bunch of Ponderers ("cos that's what they do on the telly") - and see how you like 6/8 hands per rapidly increasing levels!

Just saying    .....

New structures are fine.
[/quote]

Disagree taxi-boy.
20 min bingo is proper shite (imo)
Tiz a shamus maximus, I enjoyed a piss up poker at the G.

I thought it played ok....

It's a fair point. Especially about people taking an age over every decision. I'm gonna give it a whirl tonight, see how tilted I get by the people and go from there.

Maybe the new structures will breed more Alex Martin types.

Yeah, clearly the new structure suits the fish.
Bush-boy. :)

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you George Cameron....(good luck!)

In all seriousness, here's my take:

Slightly longer clock and take out a couple of levels or shorten the stacks -v- shorter clock and all the levels... I don't really think it makes THAT much difference which way.  I will play either when I feel like it (in before "not very often")

Last night I saw someone open-ship 24k @200/400 with A8 whilst others would get it all in with QT on a T-8-5 flop whether they had 2k chips or 200k chips.  That makes more difference than 5 mins on the clock.  There are always going to be shockingly bad players up there (both too tight and too loose) that don't make proper adjustments to the published structure.  Any structure that gets 70+ through the door is arguably a good structure, even if it is one that doesn't suit your playing style.

The antes were a bit better last night, slightly larger through the levels.  I think so many seem pre-occupied with the clock that they overlook the difference good antes make.

With 600k chips in play and weak antes, you end up getting down to 20 players having 30k each @1500/3000 and it gets called a crap-shoot.

With 600k in play and strong antes, you end up getting down to 10 players having 60k each @1500/3000 and there is some play left in that.

100-200r25
150-300r50
200-400r50
300-600r75
400-800r100
600-1200r100
800-1600r200
1k-2k r300
1500-3000r500

Would be a lot stronger than previously used, would force the nits to play, reward the duckers and divers appropriately and create decent avBB stacks at the business end.

There's 90 minutes before you get to the 20 minute levels, plus once reaching the final table, you get 30 minute levels once more.

Ultimately, there comes a stage in tournament poker where something has to give. It was our desire that, by implementing this change, it would stop the final tables becoming crap shoots with average stacks under 10bb.

I suggest a little forbearance as these structures play out. If a problem exists, it can be rectified.

Sure, other places might have a 25 minute clock. We also play a lot more levels than most clubs, so it balances itself out over the course of the evening. It's an extra level in every 2 hours. It is not a huge increase by any stretch.

Forbearance ftw!

I wouldn't hold your breath - it's only a year and a half since the Cardroom was run for Kalam's ("Let's go home as quick as possible") benefit - levels taken out, clock speeded up.

The punters voted with their feet and Tumbleweeds blew through an empty room.

Yup, let's go back to two table tournies, and cash tables on a Friday and Saturday only       .....         how long will the guarantees last for then?

What short memories many of you have got!

The biggest change they could make to improve the customer experience there has nothing to do with structures.

10 handed on those ridic small tables makes you feel like cattle

We can do that.

My god its cheery on here, I am back down next weekend and was going to play Saturday....would I be better sticking pins in my eyes?

should be fine imo Chris - all the moaning minnies will be at home :)

Excellent, thanks Claire, Saturday tends to be piss heads and the likes mainly anyways, so I should be in my element lol

Good luck with that & poker players, Gorgouousuous George.......

9 handed - yes, that'd be good, though not a deal breaker either way.

We come to Luton for the craic, great regulars, (& Vinni) & a bit of fun.

Keep trying George, you are doing just fine, & congrats on running the Sky Poker weekend so magnificently. (Gotta get the daily spam quots in, sorry).

Now that the 20 min clock fiasco has resulted in Chimpy closing the fantasy league, does that mean this thread is Now officially dead?

up to people if they post on it or not. It can still be a resource for the many regular blonde players there....

why is it in the rail - has TK been let loose with the mod buttons again?

All will be clear shortly.

9 handed tables a good idea... i always sit next to some bloke whose as wide as me :)

FYP

Wow - found it (I thought thread had been flounced!).

So      ....       let’s breathe life into this thread with a Loofah Tourney Tirade!     

Friday night;

New levels introduced (urgh)     ....     but you can't criticise something until you've tried it - so it was lob Jess in the front seat, and point the Postman Patmobile @ Jct 10.

Filled with trepidation, - and a sneaky suspicion that there'd be on overlay - I entered the daftcardroom.

A fair few regs about - with Carpark Henderson on his fourth glass of  Soccer Violence, Gaypole Conningtower desperate to find a sympathetic ear to regale tales of derring do inside a Teepee in Dublin, and a herd of ugly nose picking Randoms lurking about     ….       it looked like an typical Luton turnout.

The Off!!!

You didn’t need a reduced clock and 10 Alex Martins in the field with this mob – I had to keep checking it wasn’t a £5 re-buy, such was the desire of half the field to get chips in indecently early!

On my first table - and a rather rotund fellah (not Celtic, he wasn’t that fat) who shall be forever called Bilbo Baggins – clearly thought he’d show these Luton Yokels a thing, or two.

In between three betting @ every opportunity, he kept telling all + sundry he was Gaypole’s buddy.

Such was the loving glint in his eye    ….     I can deffo see a Civil Ceremony in the air in the not too distant future!

Well he was well at it – blissfully unaware there were at least two people who ‘knew what he knew’ and were watching, waiting.

After he three bet your Noble Scribe on the turn, a four bet had the Hobbit scurrying back to The Shire faster than if he’d bumped into an Orc in the woods.

Baggins quickly joined the alarming list of exits in lvl2/3, but with true Luton magnanimonosity(??) was found a nice safe haven in a seat next to his betrothed.

I glanced over at Barrat Obama during this CrashFest     ……       all these LAG players were giving him bunions!

Mr Bendy Man – new to Luton, travels down from Naaaaaaaaaaaaaawrich - was in fine voice.

(The only fellah who can clear the Smoking Cage in double quick-time with his relentless PHA     …..     gotta be Deano’s dad.)

Luther was Nit-noncomplussed that these foolish fiends were biting into his overlay, as Cashstruck Calenti bought in just before the cut off point (poor Vin, he could’ve had a FT chipstack before the break if he’s turned up earlier).

Unabashed, the Tartan Terror soon set about putting that right, and banished the Wild Boys of the table back to Planet ABC - allowing Loofah to nick the odd pot from the Vinster, as is only right and proper!

Breaking tables, I duly fell into line behind the serfs - brought in especially from the Pit to move Braveheart’s chipstack – and moved on.

BB and I decided to call, and peel, after a raise from Redfaced Martin, and a call from Edward Dungarees with 8 7 off.

A rather unpleasing K high with a 7 in there somewhere was checked to Beetroot Boat, who even more unpleasingly bet, and an even more unpleasing flat by Ed the Shed.

Time to fish    …    call!

Turn was pants – BBoat bet, call, call.

Garbage (where are all those prime cards when you need them?) on the river; I led out, knowing Beetroot had the King, but having Ed behind him – would he fold??

Martin almost put his chips over the line several times during an entire Gorgeous George reduced level dwell, but finally summoned up the cowardice to fold – leaving Ed to reluctantly call off with A high for a rather mega pot.

Poor old Mart his face went redder than a pickled walnut when he saw my ‘crushing’ underpair triumph (I don’t think I’ll be getting one through on the fellah sometime soon!).

Blahdee,  Blahdee, Blah      ….. onto FT.

Knocked out Vin, then knocked myself out re-raising pocket Ones with the Bobbies (Lally + Chandra would’ve been distraught), and a small cashament to get Jess’s Whiskas.

So      …..     the 20 min levels?

They didn’t work out that bad – but mainly because none of the players were hanging about (I think they got day the snow was forecast for wrong!).

GG listened – as ever (nice trait in that lad) – and agreed that the ‘higher buy in’ comps ought to have the 25 min clock.

Maybe a happy compromise there     ……

Well done to Paul "Haven't missed a final yet this month" Noonantini, for yet another result last nite (2nd of 39 wunners)
Wp Loofah!

Looks like two Aliens will be attending the 20 minute bingo-fest this evening, along with last Thursday's winner (you know, the on-line and live poker Pro).

Roll-up, roll-up....

Ps - Choppy wont be there tonite tho cos his in Vegas winning mad dimez. Glgl

Mmmmmm, bingo-fest it ain’t, Drainy – 3.30 am; 3 left, blinds 3/6k, with 30 BBs minimum each      …..   probably just about right for a midweek comp/chop!

So – as we haven’t been inundated with Chompy stories of major Vegas binkage (will we ever?) – let’s review the wonderment that is Wankers Wednesday from deepest, darkest, Bedfordshire.

Registering, I glanced over at the DC game. Mainly regs, but they had been joined by some old geezer - apparently he runs the Yoyo Appreciation Society on the world wide web!

A nice first table.

Vinny to my left, doing all my raising for me, Barrat Obama to my right, folding for St Albans, open mouthed Guppy fish filling the remaining slots.

Steady progress was made by slipping into the Calenti Jetstream and bagging the odd pot that Vincenzo didn’t want - who seemed utterly transfixed watching Yeovil play in some unheard of Sky soccer comp called the SPL.

That suddenly changed when late entry – well known internet sensation – Charming Trevor Webber ripped the guts out of us all, in under half a level!

Calenti’s comp was over quicker than Culloden, and your Audacious Author’s once proud stack was reduced to a piffling 5.2k, as Trev the Terrible opened every pot for 1500 @ 100/200.

Looking down at 55 Lucky Loofah jammed it in his eye, and held against TtT’s A J, -  Vinny leapt for joy as Yeovil scored a fourth (creating the first seismic shock wave in Luton since 1864).

Looking down at the Boots UTG, LL flatted to give TtT the chance to hang himself.

Doom, despair, and abject misery descended as the whole table proceeded to flat, at a pace, round to the BB.

Hurrah     ….    RD in the BB remembered what to do to limpers and - without a keyboard in front of him - found the raise button, and life was good once more in uther's world.

A standard hook 3 bet induced the shove, and he proudly flipped his A Q quicker than his jaw hit the floor when he saw what he’d run into.

Moving on, and I had the pleasure of sitting between the two Traceys   …  so I told them it was the first time I’d ever been spit roasted at a poker table.

‘Knowing giggles’ filled the air and, with a lovely lady on each arm, up went the stack       ……      of chips (before Drainy gets over excited).

Mr Pham was gathering the goods at an alarming rate    ….     Proving it is possible to play every hand in a comp, and win 85% of the coups (comedy moment of the night Mrs Pham jamming the flop - hubby has a set     ….      Loofah learnt the Vietnamese for dangler removal whilst akip).

Blah, blah, blah – FT, and blinds reverted to 30 mins.

Getting down to the last 3, Your Noble Scribe was persistently pestered with pleas for chop chop (as Mr Pham looked nervously in his spouse’s direction).

Not on your Nelly, with a guaranteed bag up top    …..      just get rid of one, and the chop could be £800, or put the foot down for the grand!

By 3.30 HMS FT WW Luton had become becalmed – where was this ‘bingo-fest’ that these 20 minute blinds would produce?

Starting to get very weary – not of the poker, but Mrs Pham shrieking chop (whilst looking intently at her man’s undercarriage) – I caved in, we all got £670     ….     And (presumably) Mr Pham got neutered on the way home.

Gorgeous George is the Sage of Midweek Comps!

Luther was wrong - 20 min levels ftw!

Luther You the best>>>!!!!!!!!

Incredible writing & observational skills, Luther!

Do we miss Chompy? Chompy who?

PS - he PM's me daily with updates of all the money he is winning in Vegas. First PM expected any day now.......

Ahh, at last, just in, news from Vegas, where our man is positively CRUSHING.

250 for day 1a of the $350. 25k at the first break, 50k at dinner. Came back at 800-1600. up to 60k when...folded to me in the SB, had a shove monkey to my left with 40k, so limped with AK. He duly shoved A6. Sx on the turn. Sigh. Back up to 60k. 29 due to come back. Matey boy shoved 35k utg at 1k-2k, so I jammed AK. Sure got there v JJ. Gone soon after. Will try again today. So far -$800..

Anyone care to guess what date flouncing commences?

My moneys on it all ready happened

Ahh, at last, better news from our man in Vegas, who has now settled in, & got the tables sussed. Deffo crushing now.

"Level 13 yesterday, Level 12 today - sure made Day Two - try again in the five hundo tomorrow".

I replied, reassuring him of my full confidence, he wrote back "yup, am very confident of a big cash, it is going very well here, send more money".

Played at luton last night out in the Sports bar as there was apparently a comedy night on in the poker room.  The real comedy was out on the poker tables as i encountered a multitude of limp call with any 2 cards fish...K5 105 64 os were amongst them...aces cracked early and a rebuy..can't believe i lasted until last 3 tables as was desperate to bust as the play was truly shocking even for Luton.

After busting myself and the Pizz man went on an epic spin up on the roulette and the G kindly donated six and a half grand to our degen fund..even the snow blizzard outside couldn't dampen our spirits as we exited stage left ..pockets bulging with filthy ill gotten gains.... :)

Only poker players could complain that the opposition was so bad we could not possibly win.

More skill in that roulette, eh?

hard to beat people who call with crap hit the world or won't give up one pair...roulette + ev for me compared to my mad poker skillz

You will be telling us that it is easier to beat the likes of Shalllow, Cody, Toby & co next.....

We have a whole Forum Board next door dedicated to poker players who say it is not possible to beat low stakes players, or "bad" players. Seems somewhat illogical to me.

I suppose the phrase should be its hard to beat bad players that hit the world...im having a whinge ffs grandad..usually im happy to play the fish..easy game but..tbh..id rather play Cody et al...best tournament i played last year was my only fessie outing of the year.. the gukpt main at coventry..proper poker played by people who can really play.... oh and i got mentally slow rolled as well..fortunately for him he was the only bloke who plays poker whose actually older than u...:)

Well, as I made a first appearance in 6 months, I thought I would do a Saturday night review in view of Luther's failure to give his usual thorough assesment! there will be less ..... and less phuqqin's but I shall try.

Preperation - following advice from my coach Darren "Drainy" Allen, I decided to go for a solid 7 hours in the pub before arriving nice and early for the 8pm tournement, felt I was at a solid level of drunkness to ensure comedy bluffs, regular openings and questionable table chat.  With £47 pounds in my pocket, I visited the cash providing machine which indicated a lack of desire to provide any money.  This 15 days from pay day presented somewhat of a problem.  Therefore this evenings tournement was pivotal in my hopes for A getting back to Edinburgh and B eating for the rest of the month.  After successfully borrowing enough to ensure a constant level of drinking I registered and awaited the Saturday Night Madness.

Opening Table - I found myself on table 8 of 8, a tought spot having two raising machines Chinese George and Betty on my right meant opening was going to be very difficult, this coupled with John, a pair of questionable reflective Aviators accross the table which proved ideal for checking my hair, and a non dennis table slapping American meant for an interesting dynamic.  I counted something like 30 pre flop raises in my 3 levels on this table, of which 27 were mine, so I was having a great deal of fun!

Luther - our regular updater only stayed in the building for approximately 42 minutes, covering two attempts at Saturday Night Fame.  My favourite moment being when queueing for a re-entry, cunningly putting his jacket back on to make it appear it was a first attempt.  Genius...made me chuckle!

"the break" - after doubling my stack through non stop raising and very little care of actual cards dealt, I triumphantly took my break after 3 levels.  Having entered the bar area to make sure Saturday night entertainment had not improved, I decided to return to find my table broken and a whole level missed! Apparently they dont break after 3 levels anymore...WP

New Table - John and Chinese George missed me too much to stay off my table, joined by Bharrat Homes Joshi and several new faces to me.  One gentleman asked my advice on when to go to the toilet every few levels, I told him its G policy that players must soil themselves as opposed to dare leave the table! another player asked if he could raise before doing it, very polite table.  Bharrat spent most of the time looking suspiciously at every one of my 246 opening bets, very shrewd that man.  Despite being decimated by 1010>KK I managed to build and maintain average stack with a policy of steal, steal and steal some more!

the Structure - having read 14 pages of turbot bashing I was concerned I would be hate it, but it did play semi okay, it was getting a bit silly near the final table (sick brags to follow), but thankfully the knight in shining armer who is Daniel accidently put the clock up to 30! turns out this was an accident but it sure helped!  the afternoon game appeared to run for the best part of 29 hours, so evidently it lasted okay too! the final table 30 minutes business is very good, and it wasnt too bad and kept a lot of play!

the final - having out lasted a selection of first time players and fellow drunks I reached a comedy final table with the exception of Gentleman Jim had no recognised players, I include myself in that being the 2ndWPIL last season.  realised resonably early the concept of equity, range and anyother of the things these crazy kids think of, would mean nothing here, so I employed a limp to victory policy which whilst hurting my very soul, appeared the best idea!  remembering laddering was further ensuring future eating!  my plan whilst soul destroying got me heads up with someone who had never played before! with me having played so badly all my life, he was a clear favourite, and he duly converted! but 2nd pretty much levels my whole 2011 so shant complain! I could not beat 7th level thinking, the winning hand being limp  Ad Kd in the SB heads up, flat the 3 bet, far too well disguised for me!

The Drainy's - the whole clan was in, and challenging me on the drinks front, also involved in a £20 one buy in random double chance self deal tournement with 8000000000 chips and 2 days levels by the looks of things, which seemed to never end! but WP Drainy for outlasting mini Drainy to make heads up, who won escaped me as I was pretty wasted by that point.

I shall be back in another month on another raiding mission! having also plundered your cash tables for a princely sum despite refusing to value bet any hands due to savage low balling enforced by a requirement to eat for the rest of the month.  Highlight being the promotion to the "feature" table which included cash game pro Vinnie Calenti! highlights being getting a bacon sandwich 15 minutes after Vinnie was refused one! and mine and Vinnie's £2 per hand #ballin side bet counting the winning hand of Ks 7s against Vinnie's dastardly  Js 2s  Jh 3h double sided card in every pot.  Led to some comedy raising to lock up a £2 profit in several hands and cut down Vinnie's draws! think I ended up >ve for £2-3 over the night! #ballinoutofcontrol!

Back over the border now....ta ta

It’s a (belated) Loofah comp Report-Fest, BOGOF!

Thursday;

Hooray, the Cardroom was turned over to live ‘entertainment’, and the poker got shoved into the telly room – laughing called The Sports Lounge!

“Comedy Night at the G”, extolled the flyer     …    and over in The Poker Lounge Morose Morris entered into the spirit.

Three tables left, and BB Deano was moved off to pastures new – Loofah confided, “You’ll love that lot – a clueless bunch of rookie students await”.

Well Spangly Shirt sure showed them his ‘A game’ – out in an orbit, pwned by a gaggle of freckle-faced foetuses (foetii ??).

Maybe an intense series of tutorials with Celtic might improve Deano’s desperately transparent game      ….

Friday;

That bloke from the Yoyo Appreciation Society from Wednesday night was still sat at the DC table     ….    Loofah mused the poor chap must be homeless – I’ll Google where he can pick up his very own bundle of the Big Issue magazine, that’ll help get him ‘back on his feet’.

Table 1;

Some cock wouldn’t believe me, and I melded a few k into his stack unfashionably early. Normal service resumed – rapid recovery ensued – and it was a BB cough to upset someone new.

Table 1;

Claypole to my immediate left     ….      the rest of the table was like a becalmed wartime convoy, unaware the U-boats were closing.

Periscope up – no escorts!

Conning Tower surfaces        ….      And the convoy scattered under the onslaught.

I’ve never got to talk to Shaun before – but soon hit it off with a thoroughly entertaining lad    ….     which was just as well, as the rest of the table entered a state of catatonic shock as Captain Gaypole let ‘em have it!

I played a hand horribly - but eventually got there to vanquish some impertinent fellow with trip Queens.

Then U-UUPT also made a shocking manoeuvre, shortly after.

We both agreed not to disclose this to that Yeovil fan who, sharing a pizza with Shaun  came over for his half      ….    this resulted in over two thirds of the meal disappearing, as Sellick ‘snacked’ voraciously.

U-UUPT got into a monster pot with Transparent Ted who went all in with his Aces, or Kings, when re-raised by the Sturmenfuher on a Queen high, two club flop – guess who had Queen, two clubs?

Victory for the Valkerie    ….    though I take it mathematics wasn’t one of Claypole’s better subjects at Kindergarten (57% favourite, mein arshloch!).

Vince wobbled over with a full tray of chips, and a half empty stomach, to the table – now down to two - shortly after my KK had held, and the Three Amigos had a third - to half of the chips in play between them     ….     much to the disgust of Chompy, railing from The Venetian!

Loofah was banished from Table Chips to Table Crumbs, to join amongst others Chandra, and Carpark Henderson.

Glen was sans Merlot uber-chirpy on Spring Water     ….    I dunno what minerals they put in Highland tap water but Henderson was babbling like a brook!

Not for long though, he confidently shoved with his Q 9 – and Loofah ‘got there’ with KK.

U-UUPT had sealed his fate earlier by saying to Vin, and moi, “with these stacks we’ll all make the Final Table”       …..     he didn’t!

As we settled into our seats Vin got a text from Shaun    ….      spitting feathers about the guy who’d depthcharged his sub.

Calenti commiserated, and sent a message of condolence     ….     “That drink you ordered has just arrived. Are you coming back for it?”

Chandra conducted the Cash Table’s chants of, “What a player”     ….    As is only right, and proper!

Vince sorted out some bubble payments from the overlay, so all were getting paid – grudging acceptance was finally agreed by an RD that looked like he could be a danger to kids (“I will this time, I don’t usually!”      ….     “Well thank you RD, and wtf are you anyway?” Loofah managed not to blurt out!)

Well some RDs quickly went, followed by a lucky fellow – who looked like Herman Munster - and Chandra    …     and we were down to four.

Danger to Kids, Saarfend Darren, Vincent the Bruce, and your Wondrous Raconteur.

Saarfend D had laddered like a rogue roofer, and now had slightly more chips than I.

So, I stuck it in his eye with 7 3 of shovels     …     whoops – instacall!

Now I don’t know what part of Essex thinks A poxy J is better than 7 3 on the button, but the outcome was never in doubt!

Danger to Kids didn’t last much longer, and stayed to watch two (Austin) Maestros battle out heads up.

We didn’t keep him long, as we managed to get half a mill chips in, in four hands.

Vinny got very lucky when his Ace matched the two Aces on the flop a bit better than me.

We walked away, both agreeing that Shaun shoulda won really!

stuck it in his eye with 7 3 of shovels Hahaha. Just made me throw my coffee all over the train and laugh so abruptly that people are looking at me strange. Love your reports loof keep up the great work!

More incredible writing by Loofah.

He might look daft......

I just can't think of enough words to do justice to luthers tourney reports.

An International Loofah Comp Critique!!

Chompy Rips up Vegas.

Errrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm      .....         he didn't.

The only thing he tore up was     ....    the backers dollars!

In an exclusive interview with Laugh with Luther, he put it down to jetlag - hardly surprising after a ninety six hour flight     ...       only Chompy could find a $14.90 RyanAir package that stopped off for re-fuelling @ East Midlands, Manchester, Glasgow, the Faroe Islands, Rekyvavik, Nuuk (capital of Greenland for the ill-educated      ....    not an A-bomb strike on Tehran, Drainy!), Halifax (Nova Scotia    ...     not Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorsheer, Drainy) airports, and a brief stop over at the Arapaho Native American airstrip, so Chief Running So Bad could rub bison's musk on Wheldon's Wig Zone.

A vicious rumour had it that Chomps even donked outa the 9.00 am $50 dollar freezeout for the barely breathing at the Aria!

I knew that was BS tho     ....    he clearly wouldn't have aimed 'that high'.

Go for the fiver re-buy @ Luton this Sunday son, everyone's gotta start their poker careeer somewhere     .....

 :)

Different phuqqin' gravy Luther tbf

[  ] Vegas went well

Highlights inc pwning Eric Baldwin. Until I went busto. Pwning the awesome Sam Grizzle. Until I got knocked out. And pwning Kenna James. Until all my chips disappeared.

Fields were way down in numbers and a lot of ridic intense tables. Seat 8 on the final day, a young kid, looked like he'd just found out he's dog had been run over. And he was one of the cheerier souls on the week. Will advise Josh Matrix not to go next Feb and instead wait for the summer.

All tourneys were staged at The Palcrapzo this time as not enough room at The Venetian. Liable to be the same in Juuuuune. Defo gonna win a bracelet then imo. I run good in Vegas.

Who's going tonight?  I may be late & need someone to buy me in.  Please PM if you can help.

No results in over a week now, so guessing they've stopped sending them from G headquarters ( Qh )

I'd still stick them up here to keep the thread ticking over if the powers want to start sending them again?

Loving this new Sunday comp. 20k chips, 3x45mins, then 30mins. It doesn't matter how many 'they' have, or how much time, 'they' still play the same.

Got there 5mins from the end of level 3. Old dude limps for 200, I make it 775 with the Vegas nuts. Folded to him, he calls. Flop 332. He open jams 14k. OK.

They were pushing towards final two tables by the time I flotsammed out at the start of 1k-2k.

Just a shame about the riff-raff element that seems to be turning the place into The International, including the DTD overflow and Samir McNasri. Might try again next Sunday. It's all so phuqqin incred, including the velvet rope around Tikay to keep the autograph hunters at bay.

Thought you played your exit hand wrong, prolly check bottom two on the turn, and check fold any dangerous river card.

Unlucky, nice flounce tho ;)

Heard about this... at length.

Outplayed imo

I've stopped sending them because I was under the assumption that they were no longer going to be published.

Do you want me to send them on to you still?

George.

No, we are absolutely fine to continue "as was", specific exemption was made for this thread. It's a players thread, rather than a spam thread. Just send the usual stuff, & Chomps & the lads will do the rest.

Absolutely George. The fantasy league has been dropped but there's still interest in who's winning 'n cashing.

Please send the past week's results when you next are on duty, ta.


Bet sizing was incred tbf and villain should've folded my turn shove and carried on with he's club sandwich. Think the £20 bounty swung it tbh, hence I'm playing at The International from now on.

Yo, Gorgeous Georgous, still no ressies. Was hoping for a bumper email full of turbot outcomes but not arrived yet.

Is the March schedule out yet?

I've heard a rumour that all comps are on a 10 minute clock from 1st March.
No point hanging around is there?

But they do all have a 50k starting stack

Wow - it was the Luton G's 'Fifth Anniversary' last night.

The Gaming Floor, & bar, were (sort of) packed with people, management, and even two hired in Showgirls.

Some 'Random Tributer' was bashing out the Frank Sinatra, and all were tucking in to the free drinks/buffet and having a great time     .....      well, all those with the 'Special Manager's Invitation'!

Over in the Cardroom two plates of circular mini pastry things (with what looked like last night's sick floating around their midriffs) were paraded around the room (Wallywonts I think they were called) as our opportunity to 'join in' this full on bash. We even played a party game to enter into the spirit of this auspicious occasion - "Spot the biggest Pit Punter". However it soon died a turgid death     ....     after five minutes no-one could name, nor recognise, one person amongst the quaffing throng that they'd ever seen in the Casino before in their lives (anonymity must be a major component of exclusivity)

Such is the high esteem that the GroveNot Group holds it's Poker Clientele in     ....     

And they wonder why more, and more, of us phuqq off every week     .....     to Dusk till Dawn!

Cool, see you there tonight Loofah. Save me a profit-a-roll please.

Chopped with mr phan last night..2nd time I have been heads up with him in a couple of weeks...never thought I'd say this but mr phan has come on quite a bit and def has game now

Ughhhhh punapostrius      .....      just buy me in, and I'll give you a £9 discount on that money you owe me.

Or      .................         

Thought for a while Mr Phan was on the upgrade. BPIL potential for sure.

Still very predictable, though, in as much as he wants to be in every pot pre-break and then rocks up completely after it.

Still no results unf.

Just checking...the 4pm Sunday tournament is running tomorrow anyone?

Edna chopped with someone, noonan third, llve pro Conning towers about 18th.

No more tourneys over £50, is that right?

Well come on £50 has seamed to be the cap on most of all the comps for a long time

Was just asking the question Mr Monkey sir.

March schedule is now out.

Wednesday is £50 with 30,000 chips, Thursday is £40 with 40,000 chips and Friday is £50 with 50,000 chips.

With no blinds or antes.

two minute clock?

Can you post link to schedule pls mr choppy sir - ty ty ty

No schedule online yet I don't think. All compos now 3x20min/20min with lots of lovely white chips. Apart from Sunday, which is 3x45mins/30mins. With lots of lovely white chips.

any other changes?
Mon / Tue?
Sat ?

Don't remember what it is now on Saturday and Monday but...

Tuesday...

Leap Year Special!

£29 buy-in

2,012,000 chips*

3x60min/12min


*6m bonus chips for wearing Bose headphones

IS this for real???

George wtf are these stacks about??

8k stack 30min clock no early bird, thats all we need.

Yeah please clarify...all these random posts are tilting me

To save any more tex massages, this is totally cereal ^^^

These huge stacks are totally contradictory to the reason given last month for reducing the clock.
WTF is going on here?

George - explainaments plz....

Obv I've never had that many chips in a comp so it will seem very strange! :)

In the absence of any formal updates, this is what I've found out:

Monday - £10 rebuy
Tue £30 - no detail
Wed and thu as reported by Clompy
Fri is 50k but apparently a double chance
(so 2x 25k presumably?)
Saturday nite is £1200 gtee but entry fee not listed (?!)
Sunday - as per choppy

Not sure if re-entries are still allowed?
Not sure if you still get early bird chips in any comps?
Not sure of anything right now tbh!

Where's Geo????
Formal update plzzzzzz
Tytyty

Big Sigh..........

G's gonna miss my roulette action soon...

Mondays    £10 re-buy   1k chips (double add on)   2x45/20 min

Tuesdays   £30 freezout  20k chips   3x30/20min  (£1,400 guarantee)

Wednesdays   £40 freezout   25k chips  3x30/20min

Thursdays   £50 freezout   30k chips   3x30/20min

Fridays   £50 double chance freezout   2x20k chips 3x30/20

Saturday £40 freezout    8kchips (£10 optional add-on 8k chips)  3x30/20 min ..3PM..

            £30 freezout    8kchips   3x30/20min   (£1,200 guarantee)   ...8pm...

Sundays the £5 re-buy remains the same @3pm

4pm

£50 freezout   20k chips   3x45/30   (£2,500 guarantee)

Friday looks awesome, 80k chips if you do a re-entry.

Gonna see if I can do the lot in level 1.

Anyone up for a last shorter?

Estimated finish time?

wtf !!!..just lunacy...why so many chips ..shortened the clock to stop nits nitting ( which although I was sceptical seemed to be working ok ) now ur gonna give em a wheel barrow full of chips ffs leave it alone..im not sitting there on a weeknight with 30k starting

midday day 3

Said it a few times, the way to stop nits nitting and have playable stacks is to make the antes bite a little harder.  That way, you get 10 players left with 30BBs rather than 30 players left with 10 BBs

Give a structure that the recreational players are happy with (bit of play, not too late finish) and the "advantage" players can work around whatever structure keeps the critical mass of players happy.

But for some that moan about "not enough chips" or "too short a clock" half of those manage to get the lot in with a bag of spanners in level 1 no matter how many chips you give them.

It's what the players want (nap)