blonde poker forum

So I have a friend who’s been playing poker professionally for a few years now, in the beginning he was making a decent living, but for the last two years he has been a losing player, occasionally he's have a decent win, like a few k but the money will always go back into the game so he never really benefits from it..  He refuses to go on training sites or take any other form of coaching (which I’ve said I’d pay for) I’ve also suggested that he get a job for a while, even something part time until he can afford to buy into the game himself, again he makes up excuses..

He’s gone from playing the 5/10 to 2/5, 1/3 now to 1/2 but feels that he is good enough to beat the 2/5 and says it’s only a matter of time until he making 15k a month again..

The problem that I’m having now is that his losing is taking its toll on my life.  Every time he loses his roll, I have to finance him getting back in the game or paying his rent, bills etc etc.

Now I’ve tried talking to him, but he refuses to except that the game has become a lot harder then it was back in 06/07 when even as a recreational player I could easily make a good living online..

Not sure on what to do, getting stress from my significant other about this too..

Any advice would be much appreciated...

You have to cut him off financially, as long as he can carry on relying on you to help him out he doesn't have to face up to the fact that he needs to get a job.

I haven't had a touch for a while. Could you bung me a few quid please, just until I bink something...

no you dont

I'm just not a fan of paying my mortgage every month. Can you cover it for me?

Not the way this horse is going :(

I was thinking something more in the terms of professional help, I don't think he realizes that what he is doing isn't beneficial to his life, he considers losing for 2 months then winning for a week a win... Not sure..

See if he were to get a job with the habit that he has I think he'd go straight back into playing and losing which would be detrimental to his future prospects.. If he was to get help for what I see as a gambling problem I could always give him a job, or get one of my colleagues to employ him

At the moment I think poker is consuming him and the lack of success is making him depressed.. I can't physically take him to see a therapist because he just plain refuses to go..

Two things I'm considering

1. Telling his family.  
Pros: They support him and we can have an intervention to make sure he gets help
Cons: To which the consequences could be that they cut him off  completely, which would put him in a deeper hole

2. Getting him a job
Pros: He will be financially interdependent
cons: He takes his wages and spews them in the casino, doesn't show up to work, which would reflect badly on me and tarnish his future prospects

Not sure what to do..

He needs to realise for himself that he is no longer a winning player. Youve done the right thing in trying to address that with him, now you just need to stop financing him. Sounds like youre being supportive in other ways with advice and offering to get him coaching.

So he refuses coaching or training, has been losing for two years, relies on money from a friend to survive (and to play).

In what way is he "playing poker professionally"?

you sound a very nice guy tbh

offer to sort him a job but explain in no uncertain terms there will be no more financial support from you (well your getting him a job tbf)

if he doesnt accept this then sorry there is little more you can do

That's such sound advice.

I don't think we should be talking about Cos behind his back like this though.

Yip.

I take he owes you money, just a case of working out how he is going to pay you back or swallow the loss. As you are just throwing money away continuing to finance this pipedream.

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/pages/phone_support.html

Barry's book might help.

Is this another one of those 'my friend' says he has a rash on his cock and it stings when he pisses?

Thanks for the advice everyone...

Lmao at Milidonk... No really is my friend, some of you actually know him.. But mentioning no names..

haha!... on a more serious note.. i agree with the majority on this topic! he needs to sort it out!

Difficult as it may be, tough love is required here.  You're not doing him any favours by letting this carry on.

Just fling him a copy of Barry's book.

Errr just to come on here to say "sounds like me but defiantly is not". Almost become ashamed of my hendonmob.

You are a decent mate for chucking him a bone and supporting him but when it becomes detrimental to you and your family then it's time to say enough is enough. Helping him realise that he is no longer a winning player will be quite hard to do. Almost all gamblers with a problem find this realisation the hardest thing to come to terms with.

 :D

I wasnt aware that i was your friend. But thanks for the concern

Appreciate the plug but I think there are some deeper issues that need to be rectified before our book could help him. It sounds like his general poker game needs a tune up first, but more importantly it sounds like he has to get his life in order before he even considers trying step up the poker.

I think any attempts to improve his poker will only exacerbate some deeper problems he needs to fix first.

To be honest mate, I think you need to think about what you're prepared to do when it comes to crunch time?

I think everyone is right about "cut him off" but you need to work out if you can really do that to him?  When it comes down to it will you turn him away and tell his family?  It's some seriously tough love but if you can, I hope it will be what he needs.  Prolly talk to the gambling problem websites, phone lines as they will have better experience for how to do it.

Best of luck though, its not easy... the only people ive known with this kind of problem have 'substituted' poker with girlfriends or another hobby, but there weren't able to ever control their degeneracy.

just my 2c

All the advice has been much appreciated, just a quick update, I've spoken to my friends sister today and going around to speak to the rest of the family later with the support of his sister... We made the decision that he needs professional help so the whole family needs to be supportive... Not sure of what the outcome going to be but I'm sure it'll be better then what the situation is currently..

Thanks again Blondes for all you help and advice...