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In reponse to public demand, (or The Nun, as blonde knows her) here is a short account of our recent trip.
After a smooth flight into McCarran, we stepped out into the blistering heat to meet our delightful chaperone Jeeves, who looked absolutely thrilled at the thought of accompanying us.
Sadie and Charmaine attempted to break the ice a bit, but he was having none of it.
(http://)

I'm happily subscribed to this one, can't wait..

 ;popcorn;

+1

Title  ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

Having quietly decided between us to dump captain buzzkill a.s.a.p., we allowed him to show us to our rooms at the Nugget where we hurriedly threw aside the neatly pressed spanx and found our bikinis, excited to get down to the pool and into the 45 degree sunshine.
'It's dim in this room' said mother, 'Put big light on'

That didn't seem to make much difference so I opened the curtains only to find the dimness was due to the fact that the sky, dazzling blue 20 minutes before, was now black as a soot bag with rain like I'd never seen before powering down and the palm trees below our windows swaying violently back and forth.
Unbelievable.

Thankfully it stopped after an hour, but they closed the pool for the rest of the day 'cos some rain got in it.  :dontask:
It was whilst waiting to go out that we first found out how much the yanks love a British accent, any kind of British accent because Sadie sounds like Waynetta Slob's vocal coach.
'Oi mate! Can I use your ashtray?'  
'You can if you say that again for me darlin'

This trip was going to be a riot.

In and subscribed on page 1 :)

Bravo.

Best title for a diary ever.

We retired reasonably early that first night having been up since 4:30am UK time, but two of our 'Golden Girls', Auntie Sue and Bella upon waking up at 2am decided the best thing to do was pop downstairs for a glass of wine to help them drop back off.
That was the last we saw them until we were up, dressed and ready to head out for breakfast, when we opened the room door and the fell back in, giggling and asking where we were going at bedtime.  ::)

This severely set back my planned itinerary for the day, so after my first American breakfast  ;kev; we just hung around the hotel playing the slots and people watching until Patsy and Eddie had recovered enough to catch the Deuce to the Strip.
A lot of people said we were better to use taxis as the Deuce was to slow, but apart from the fact it was a hell of a lot cheaper, we met lots of people and had some of our best conversations on the bus,
some memorable ones being Mrs Red politely refuting a rather loud lady's claim that Americans invented mothers day and us guys just copied them, a women telling me that her great granmomma came from a little island called Wales and numerous discussions about the Royal family, Benny Hill and Mon-tee Pie-thorn.
I also saw a man wearing the worlds most incredible shoes, I must get that pic off Bridie.

Thanks for the nice feedback y'all x

excellent title!

Echo what everyone said as to thread title. I had to think about it for a while, mind.


they closed the pool for the rest of the day 'cos some rain got in it.


Good grief.

 ;iagree;

Shoe pic as promised.
Where else in the world are you going to see someone wearing these bad boys like it ain't even a thang?
(http://)

Those gold trainers are pretty cool, too.

So picked me up. X

Lol, i said to the nurse in the night can you turn big light off.

Took a minute.  :)

As the title suggests, we took considerable time choosing outfits and accessories before our trip, only to find 90% of people walking around wearing baggy shorts and vests, even in the evening shows.
Of course, things got a bit more interesting as we hit EDC weekend, but then it was more about what they weren't wearing.
Big hairy yeti boots which havent been cool in England since about 1991 and little more than coloured string around the rest of the body seemed to be de rigueur, which was fine on the very few tall leggy girls, but the majority of them were trussed up like rolls of brisket.
B. E. A. utiful!

Wonderful stuff, thanks Redsgirl  :)up

Pleased you're enjoying it Maureen. x

I know you've met mother but I thought I should introduce the rest of the gang, so you and everyone else reading knows who's who in this great chronicle.

Firstly we have the aforementioned Golden girls, Mrs Red, dad's sister Auntie Sue and her mate Bella.
Then my sisters Bridie and Sadie with me in the middle.
Finally Sadie's good friend Charmaine, in this photo auditioning Tu Pac as a possible replacement for Jeeves. (He didn't make the cut, not nearly enough swag for us I'm afraid)

It took a while for the penny to drop with me too, and I can actually reach out and grab Hunter S.Thompson's tome from my nearest bookshelf without getting out of my chair.

Great read and loving the pics, definitely fruity.

Can't wait to hear Tom's breakfast rating.

Keep rereading it. Smiling and little lols which wouldnt matter if it wasnt for the fact I'm on a train on way home from hossy. Loved the Patsy & Eddie.

Write a book you are so talented and funny. Can't say how much I enjoy your posts.

Stunning pictures of you all.

Looks and sounds great fun - love the title too and obv got it in miliseconds

That's a lovely thing to say Maureen, it's nice to think  I've brightened your day a little.
I think you over estimate my capabilities somewhat but I'll happily make it a not so brief diary if you are enjoying it!
I shall share the first of our great American road trips with you as soon as I have the time.

Hope things improve for you and yours soon xx

Thanks for the replies everyone, a bit of interaction is always appreciated. X

Loving the title WP.

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Can't wait to hear Tom's breakfast rating.
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Loving this report so far. Many thanks for posting.
Looking forward for Tom to get all huffy over that breakfast.

Excellent description.

Isn't it odd to see those girls in skimpy bikinis & yeti boots?

Have to say, they do look rather nice though, & everyone I bumped into whilst at EDC were enjoying themselves.

On our third day we were up bright and early as we had booked a road trip to the Grand Canyon with a company that specialised in taking small groups on tours with a guide who had extensive knowledge of the area, with the idea that you get a more personalised experience than you would on the big coach trips.
The tours were for nine people, so when our mini van arrived it already held two passengers, a married couple of teachers from Indiana who went by the names of Roger and Michelle.
There they sat in the front row, resplendent in matching beige cargo pants and baseball caps, blissfully unaware as yet that they had drew the short straw when it came to vehicle allocation. ;)
 
Our guide Trayce (her spelling) was a great gal, she was born and raised in the Arizona mountains and said she had visited the Canyon over 1700 times, including climbing the walls and rafting the entire 270 mile length. She was full of enthusiasm from the outset, and we were all very excited as we set off on the 265 mile journey

First stop was Burger king, where Trayce invited us to go in and order whatever we liked.
gg tour company profits!
Roger and Michelle, despite being on the large side ate very little, but drank about 4 gallons of fizzy pop each from containers that resembled plastic vases and needed both hands to lift them to their mouths.
After these refreshments we climbed back aboard the van and set off towards our first destination, the Hoover Dam.
Now I'm not going to say to much about the dam, it was ok but a certain someone already has the concrete and pylon angle covered and I don't want to tread on their toes. (I also will not be proposing to anyone in this diary for the same reasons, although one of our group was proposed to, but that's a whole other day)
One of the things we were looking forward to was crossing the worlds highest single span bridge, but it has barriers so high you cant even tell your on it. Spoilsports.

Anyway, here's a few pics and then off we go again.

 

.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao I read your post and actually visualize it, thats how good you write.

I knew that was you Tikay!

Ooh, bridge porn.

That is an awesome bridge, by any standards.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_O'Callaghan%E2%80%93Pat_Tillman_Memorial_Bridge

It is a bit sad that the bridge has barriers which prevent a good view, but the reason for them is to deter suicide attempts.

What's EDC.

Electric Daisy Carnival.

Like Glasto, but held at night, in blistering heat.

A 3 day ticket costs $400. I heard that this year's EDC had 400,000 visitors over the three days.

There is a wonderful write up of EDC, with photos & videos, on Posh Alex's Diary, here.....

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=51305.18270

So like a friends of Dorothy convention

Oh my days, just clicked that link. Are them two attached by the boobs?

Not quite, if my understanding of "Friend of Dorothy" is correct.......



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

But for freaks and hippies rather than ummm friends of Dorothy.

Getting there all be it slowly, watched a couple of you tube links. Looks like flower power come modern.

Redsgirl

were any of the 7 of you on the trip gamblers?

shall i guess Sadie and Charmaine? (look like a pair of degens)

Wow, that actually looks incredible, almost sorry I missed it!
Fantastic as Alex makes it sound though,  I'm definitely the wrong side of thirty for that kind of carry on.
Plus we saw people queuing 2 blocks in 47 degrees for tickets, I genuinely thought someone would die out there. 
I did consider Chris Brown though,  but we decided to stick to things we could all go to,  and besides my daughters would have been mortified at the very suggestion.

I know previously you had mentioned you liked to spend $$ travelling and experiencing, rather than dropping money on f&b.  But did you have a special meal at all with the group?  Where did you go and what did you choose if so?

Your spot on about Sadie Tightend, we were worried she'd lose her shirt on the first day but there's so much going on we managed to keep her out of the casino for most of the trip.

I don't mind a flutter but to be honest I felt a little too intimidated to sit down at the black jack tables, I couldn't make head nor tail of the craps and the slots are just meh.

Bella and I did have an hour at the roulette one evening whilst Sadie and Charmaine checked out the Nugget night club and we  enjoyed it, not exactly high stakes mind you but we both had turned $10 into $90 at one point, decided to cash out when we hit $100 each and then promptly dropped back down to $50.

We called it a night at that point so still a win, but just as we were getting up Sadie walked past,spotted us and was seated and throwing cash on the table before we could stop her.
Around 7 minutes later she'd lost it, and some of mine and poor Bella's so we dragged her away and didn't dare go back for the rest of the week.  :-)

To be honest Simon, we had planned to go somewhere nice, but there was so much we wanted to do and so little time to do it in, even though we were averageing twenty hour days.
Food kind of slipped right down the priority list for me after day one, especially after that first breakfast as I managed to check off most of the typical 'American' foods right then, bacon, pancakes, corned beef hash, parfait (everbody lurv parfait!) three different kinds of eggs and things I didn't expect at breakfast like steak and collared greens.
Seriously, I didn't eat for over fourteen hours after that meal and I still wasn't really hungry even then.
 
Because of our manic schedule we rarely even got to eat together, except once at a place called Ellis island where someone told us they did a great steak special, it took us forever to find the place and then when we did it was a bit of a dive by Vegas standards, but it was busy so we went in and I have to say it was delicious,  We had Ranch salad, baked potato with sour cream, green beans with garlic and one of the best steaks I've ever had, bearing in mind that I'm a not connoisseur when it comes to food.

Auntie Su and Bella did go somewhere a bit more upmarket on the last night, I can't remember what it was called but it was near the Linq.
They had a set menu of topped bruscetta followed by french onion soup, then chicken and ribs with charred corn on the cob and edame beans and peach cobbler for pudding.
They said it was divine but there was far too much food, they hardly even started the main course and refused the afters, but the restaurant packed all the untouched food up into nice little boxes to take out, and they brought back enough to feed the other five of us and a random dude near by who said it looked nice.  :)

We used to do the occasional walk to Ellis island,  as you say nowt fancy but truly enjoyable steaks.

The good news is someone gave you a decent tip, (apart from where to find it!) and that is still seen as one of the best value deals in town.  It used to be "off menu" and you had to ask for it, not sure if that's still the case, haven't been in a long time. A pretty good choice imo for your group.

Other good news is that if Ellis Island served you a sublime steak, you are going to have to think up some new superlatives if you get the opportunity to try a high end steakhouse on the strip.  It isn't cheap, and I can totally understand why people would rather spend the money exploring instead, nothing wrong with that.  But perhaps next time a kindly roulette dealer hands you $100 "for nothing" you could treat yourself.  Vic & Anthony's in the Nugget would be a pretty good choice, and not as spendy as strip alternatives.

As Su and Bella now know, a regular order is far too much.  For 2 of you, 1 appetizer, 1 main, 1 pud is plenty in most places.  Lots of ladies even have an appetizer to share to start with, and then another appetizer to themselves as their main course.  Wait staff are completely used to it. The first time I sat in a LV restaurant, the table next to me ordered like that (I wasn't being nosey, they were wedged in right next to me) and I thought "why bother eating if you aren't even hungry?"  Halfway through failing on my own main course, I realised they'd ordered perfectly and I'd got it wrong.

Always nice to hear TR's from others, especially those that haven't been too many times before.  Sounds to me like you did Vegas pretty well anyway, glad you had fun.

Loving following your trip diary Redsgirl. Are you planning any shows? I saw this one last time I was there, I think it will be right up the girls street.

http://www.humannaturelive.com/las-vegas/

Been too busy today to reply to anything, I'll try and post a bit more tomorrow x

Pffff.... ;) *g

Purchased from Jones(bootmakers Ltd) I assume.

Those are from the Jeremy Scott line. You have to be fairly balla to carry those off.

Thanks Simon, we had an incredible time but as Elvis said, how I wished there were more than twenty four hours in the day  :)
If I do ever get the chance to go back I will take the time to have a fabulous steak somewhere, in fact I'm a little bit miffed with myself because I noticed Vic and Anthony's on the way in on the first day because you had recommended it to me on the trip thread, but it somehow slipped my mind when we were discussing where to eat.
B.T.W. Just to clarify, when I said Ellis Island seemed a bit of a dive I just meant compared to all the glitz and lights on the Strip it wasn't the kind of place you'd seek out unless someone told you to, I didn't mean it to sound as snobby as it did in my previous post. Truth be told it was like The Ivy compared to what I'm used to!

Much as I wish I was still there Kev, I'm afraid this is a retrospective diary, so we've done all were going to do, which is a shame because this show does look really good.
I'd rather have seen that one instead of throwing away 75 minutes of our lives watching Steve Connolly's spirit of the king show next door at the Four Queens.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, we had an early start the next day so didn't really want to go to far and we thought we gotta see a bit of Elvis while we're in Vegas surely?
Big mistake.
He was dire, he looked more like Brian Connolly and he sounded like Vic Reeves doing his lounge singer impression, we were seated in a dark and dingy little room and his staging consisted of a chair and two dodgy paintings of Elvis he'd done himself and would be happy to sell to anyone who was interested after the show  ::)
All of us being Elvis fans we were surprised to find he sang only three songs in his whole set that anyone in the room actually knew, and when he finally (thankfully) finished it was with one of his own songs (He won the John Lennon song writer of the year award with it don't cha know) which was quite good tbf, but he accompanied it with a weird video of soldiers saluting and cops holding rifles and iddy bitty chillun waving American flags.
Whatever floats your boat Steve.
To be honest we wanted to bail after the first fifteen minutes but we'd paid a little extra for, lolz, V.I.P. tickets which meant we were right at the front and there was no way of sneaking out unnoticed.
Damn you Steve spiritofthesoddingking, I could have been eating a nice steak or winning more roulette.

We did see Gordy Brown one night at the Nugget and he was excellent, much better than expected and we only booked because he was in our hotel and came with the buffet and a free drink! Top class act though, very talented impressionist and musician plus he seemed to enjoy himself as much as the audience did which is always fun.
We saw Diva's on the last night too but more of that later, back to the road trip....

So,  back in the van and off we go, destination Seligman Arizona on Route 66, about 140 miles away passing through the Mojave desert. The hot dry desert. The desert with Rattlesnakes and Black widows and Tarantulas as our guide gleefully informs us, and a place so lacking in vegetation that a dozen stunted little trees have there own sign, Willow creek, and people slow down to look at them. 'They're there like that all year round!'
There was I, just gazing through the window at this amazing landscape that looked like the surface of another planet when our driver suddenly veered off the road and rumbled to a stop on the verge.
'Erm, sorry guy's, the van just lost all power. I don't know what has happened, but try not to worry, I'm just gonna step out and see can I get a signal to phone the office'
Try not to worry! WTF! Within 3 minutes of the air con going off, the temperature inside the van had started to climb to match the outside temp of 45 degrees.
After 6 minutes I was imagining who would play us on our episode of 'I shouldn't be a alive', Angelina Jolie for me obvs, someone like Kristen Stewart for Bridie and maybe Jackie Stallone could be persuaded to play mother, if she didn't have much on. 
Minute ten had me eyeing up Roger's Big Gulp and wondering if a Vulcan death grip would work on someone with a neck that resembled a sliced loaf. Thankfully, just then Trayce managed to get the van started again, and my near death experience was over. I made it. Well done me.

Unfortunately the van's problems meant that at first we tried to make the next service station to meet a replacement, but we cut out again, so after getting restarted once more they decided it was safer and quicker to head back to the last one and wait, which meant we had to do one 50 mile leg of the journey 3 times  :(
But we got there eventually..

Haha great stuff Redsgirl, sounds like you had a great time.
When you said 'back in the van, and off we go' i had a vision of a Scooby Doo episode in my head for some reason lol.
Looking 4ward to more ......... :)

Brilliant.

Yep, really enjoying this :D

Seligman was a fun little interlude, it's claim to fame being the town that inspired the Disney Pixar movie 'Cars'
Apparently the guy behind theToy story film decided to take his family on a trip down what's left of the 66 as a long overdue vacation after not being around much for the four years Buzz and Woody took up.
Whilst researching his trip, he got to hear about a man named Angel Delgadillo, who founded the Historic Route 66 Association of Arizona and successfully campaigned to have the road recognised as being of national importance, rather than being forgotten as the new interstate freeways turned once thriving communities into ghost towns.
Thanks to Angel other states also have associations to look after their stretches of the highway too.
Mr Pixar guy thought the saving of route 66 would make a great movie, and after seeing the assortment of old cars and junkers dotted around town he thought he had the characters too.
The townsfolk have stuck eyes on the vehicles that ended up with starring roles, but if you've saw the film you'd recognise them anyway.

As we continued on the to the South rim, the scenery gradually changed to become greener and more mountainous, and as we reached the higher elevation it also got cooler, dropping to a much more bearable 30 degrees.
As we got closer our guide explained that the Grand canyon has five million visitors per year, and last year they only had eleven deaths.
Cue stunned faces. Deaths? Nobody said anything about deaths!
'Yeah well, most of them were suicides but they don't have any fences or anything so one day while I was up here a guy was blew in by a gust of wind'
'You're kidding right'
'No, but it was a rough day and he'd got himself on an outcrop off the path. You'd have to be pretty stupid to be where he was, that's why the rangers who recovered his body said it was just natural selection'
Eight pairs of eyes involuntarily glance at Sadie.

Our five hour journey had turned into more like eight, but finally we had reached our destination.
Now I have heard all about how incredible the canyon is, how immense, how breathtakingly beautiful, but still I wasn't prepared for how completely overwhelmed I was when after walking up the little path through the forest the trees suddenly clear and there it is.
I've always been a little disdainful of a certain word that Americans love to use but that view was honestly, genuinely awesome.
We picnicked on the edge, and later watched the sun sink down and the last rays light myriad colours in the walls and rocks below, and not for the first time I marveled at, and was truly thankful for the privileges I've had in life.

.

Trayce the guide quietly suggested as we were leaving that the ride home might be more peaceful with one less on the bus.
A quick push sent her over, but the stubborn old mare climbed back up! ::)

... eight  pairs of eyes looked at Sadie

Brilliant.

As was the description of seeing the Grand Canyon.


The whole report is liberally dosed with wonderfully descriptive writing and even though I don't know you, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this diary.

Please don't end this diary with the story of the flight home. Take inspiration from Tikay, his Vegas Diary is still going strong and approaching it's eighth anniversary.

Big +1 to this.

Perfect post to an awesome diary.

Plus the pictures of you all at the canyon capture the road trip perfectly.

Loving your writing. You give your dad a run for his money in wordsmithery.

It really is nice of you all to take the time to post, as you may have noticed the more encouragment I've got the longer my pieces have been,  so be careful what you wish for!  :)

This is an excellent diary.
I have very much enjoyed reading it.
It makes a very refreshing change from the meanderings of old men.

Unfortunately, the above compliments are merely the meanderings of an old man.

That's a backhanded compliment if ever I've heard one :)

Enjoyed the diary also!

 ;popcorn; ;popcorn;

Sorry Nun, can't seem to get ten minutes to my self of late, I think my lot are still punishing me for leaving them to fend for themselves for a week.
Will do a bit more as soon as I can x

 ;nemesis;

LOL xx

 ;D ;yellowcard;     

Zelly...lovely to see you posting. Hope you had a great trip.

Yes I did thanks it was really lovely, had good company, loads of laughs, great weather, loved it - missed Tom though 'cos every where we went, me and Tom had been before, so it made me miss him more!

Sorry to hear that Reece is not too good, how is he now?

Hope everything is OK with you and your'n

Give my love to Darren

Zelley xx

We didn't get back from our trip 'til 1:00am the next morning, partly because I'd mentioned to the guide earlier the day that I'd aways been envious of those incredible night skies they have which I'd only ever seen on the telly, so on the way home she pulled up on a little lay-by in a remote part of the desert, and after shining the van headlights up and down to check for Rattlers snoozing on the hot tarmac, she switched of the lights and we all piled out to gaze up at the heavens. (all except Roger and Michelle, they had their own big skies back in Indiana.)
It was wonderful, we all stood their oohing and aahing, trying to find the usual constellations amongst the billions of other stars crowding the sky.  If you stared in one spot for a minute more and more stars appeared as your eyes adjusted, until there was almost no black left between them.
Trayce pointed out the Milky Way, which I'd always thought could only be seen through a telescope, but there it was, like a smudged fingerprint on a glossy photograph.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Sadie had wandered to the furthest edge of the car park, all the time looking up at the phone screen she had held in the air as she vainly tried to take photos of the sky.
'You're very brave Sadie' I called, 'Not bothered about the Rattlesnakes anymore then?'

I very much doubt Usain Bolt could have got back to that van quicker than Sadie did.

 'Silly woman! why did she let us out in the dark to face certain deff?'
'She spent ten minutes checking the road and warning us before we got out Sadie'
'Yeah well I was checkin me Facebook so I wasn't listening'

I wonder if I'm causing some kind of horrible butterfly effect somewhere by keep interfering in this natural selection malarkey?

Wonderful wordage, love it, thank you.

I refer you to Arkell v Pressdram.

Not sure why but this road trip part reminds me of were the millers. Maybe its wondering when Rodger and Michelle are going to pounce.

Excellent!

Day four was a bit more of a typical girly day to be honest with not really anything particularly interesting to report, we had a leisurely brekky, spent a few an hour round the pool trying to sunbathe which was nigh on impossible as it was so hot your it made your heart race and your head feel like it was going to explode within ten minutes of being in the sunlight.
It took us 'til that day to realise that it wasn't usually that hot over there, after the thunder storm on the first day the temperature had just rose daily, until they were in the grip of their hottest spell in 22 years. The temperature peaked that week at 117c, which matched Vegas's highest ever recorded.

This didn't bother our Patsy and Eddie though, as they just kept well hydrated with Miller Lite and stayed neck deep in the pool.

We followed this up by spending far to long getting dressed up to go and spend far to much money in the mall, and then rounding the evening off by seeing Gordy Brown, as I mentioned previously.
So, not much to tell but very much fun to do.  ;D

Where did you all get your energy from. I am knackered reading it.

Maureen!
I saw that film on the plane on the way out, it was the edited version and I still blushed!

 Roger and Michelle didn't have a pounce in them to be honest, maybe a stagger and a lunge, but not a pounce.

Any how if Roger and Michelle are the swingers in your imagination, where are you getting the stripper, the imbecile, the emo teen and the dropout?  ;carlocitrone;

Something I haven't really touched on yet is how great I found the people in Vegas.
They were friendly, chatty, falling over themselves to help you, it was like everyone was here for a good time and to make sure everyone else was having one too!
I expected all the people who work for tips to be uber polite and attentive, but even strangers on the bus or in the lift would chip into your conversation if they thought they could impart some usefull information. (I loved the fact that folk over there aren't shy about butting in, it's something I often do when out and about but people in the UK generally look at me like I'm insane then walk away. I once emptied half a carriage on the tube just by looking at people and smiling)

In fact, the only people who were unhelpful or rude apart from a policeman and a particularly arsey barman were bus drivers. My God, they were mean. It was almost like it's part of the job requirements. They refused to tell you where to get on or off, they drove away if you didn't board the bus within four seconds, happily closing the doors right in the faces of the unfortunate dawdlers and glaring at you while you swiped your ticket in a way that made you so nervous your fingers didn't work and once you were on, heaven help you if you put a foot out of line.
'FIND A SEAT IMMEDIATLEY OR GET OFF AT THE NEXT STOP!' 'WHO'S PLAYING MUSIC ON MY BUS? AINT NOBODY WANT TO HEAR THAT SON, SWITCH OFF OR GET OFF!'
Every journey was an adventure in itself.

Another thing that we couldn't quite believe happened in real life as it's such a stereotype is people high five you all the time! Random passers by mostly, for no discernible reason.  :D
Bridie was the first recipient in the hotel lobby before we had even checked in, we all laughed and she looked awkward, but after a few days it was happening often enough for us to be nonchalantly slapping palms with strangers without even breaking stride.

On two occasions things didn't quite go as smoothly though, one day whilst strolling down the strip a bronzed Adonis in a rather fetching 'Suns out Guns out' vest high fived Sadie then me as we passed by him.
Mother, never one to pass up even the briefest of contact with the opposite sex saw this and came scurrying forward with her little arm aloft, but the beefcake failed to notice her and turned to walk away, only for mama to give him a resounding slap between his slightly sunburnt shoulders.
Poor bloke was none to impressed, but he knows who to come to if he's ever choking.

The other time was when we went to see The Divas, who were simply fabulous by the way and had all the Vegas glitz and glamour that Elvis had failed to deliver. Plus all the money from the memorabilia they sell goes to a charity for sick children , they must donate thousands of dollars every month. I was very impressed.
Anyway we had ended up sat right at the front again and the dude being a very believable and energetic Pink bounced over during her song and held her hand down towards me. I forgot where I was for a moment and stuck mine out to grab hers for a nice firm British handshake.
What happened then was my hand flailed up and down and hers flailed side to side, and never the twain shall meet.
After a few embarrassing seconds, just long enough for the rest of the room to laugh and her to give me a withering look, she mercifully moved on to complete what she had been trying to do, which was run along the front row giving everyone five.  ;ashamed;

I've kind of missed this little gesture of exuberance since I've been home though, I might try it out down Leicester market, see how it goes down.
 

Arsey barmen are quite hard to find.  I've seen a lot of rowdy behaviour tolerated/overlooked, the only time I've seen a barmen get arsey is when a group of people are ordering drinks and not tipping, or not tipping enough for the amount of work he is having to do (in their mind) to look after the group.

As for the random hi-5s, I'm sure plenty of others that have enjoyed reading your diary have sniggered and not told you, which I think is a bit mean of them tbh.  It is a LV tradition to randomly hi-5 a group of women when one of the group is inadvertently displaying a bit of underboob.

 rotflmfao That is hilarious!  But, not applicable on this case, there must of  been some other reason but not boob related.
Remember this was EDC weekend too,  we were like dressed like nuns compared to ninety percent of the women there, we saw one girl hailing a cab who had no top on at all!
No, I'm convinced it was my penchant for large hats that attracted attention, and I won't be told otherwise :-)

As for the arsey barman, that was at the show bar in the Nugget. We had been given a voucher with our ticket for a free beer, wine or cocktail.
We all went to the bar separately or in pairs and made the mistake of asking for a cocktail, and all unbeknownst to the others very gruffly told no, beer or liquor only.
When Sadie and I went up and was refused a cocktail she asked what she could have as she couldn't drink straight spirits, so he said  'you can have whatever you want, ma'am'
 She said ok  I'll have brandy and redbull.
'You can't have that'
'What can I have then?'
'Whatever you want,  ma'am' with a smirk.
This didn't go down well with the rather fiery Sadie,  and she told him so.
We went back into the show room without discussing this with the others and therefore not warning poor Bridie who had gone up after and politely asked for a cosmopolitan :-)
He actually shouted no at her and slammed a sign down on the bar with the drinks list on it and then said 'Can you even read? '
She was obviously bewildered and upset by this so asked for his name and to speak to his manager, to which he picked up a phone and pretended to call security to have her removed!
She was all but in tears by this point and had no idea what was going on so came back to us, but the show was starting so we just left it at that and went to speak to the maitre de straight after.
He knew exactly who the barman was even though we didn't get his name, and after giving us a fifty dollar tab for each room and offering us more tickets he assured he would be dealt with immediately,  which gave us the impression it wasn't the first time he had caused a problem.
 GG arsey barman.

I was in a cab last week and the cabbie had only been working as a cabbie for the last month, so EDC was her second weekend in the job.

She told me this great story where she picked up two kids who were in luminous undress. They were spaced out but just able to confirm they were going back to MGM. Great, she thought. She drives them back to MGM, with them having slept soundly for the duration of the journey.

"Here we are, folks. MGM"

"No. We're not in this MGM"

"What do you mean?"

"We're in the MGM in the jungle"

"Errr...what?"

"Yeah. The MGM with the lions and the jungle"

"Mirage?"

"No. MGM. Let your imagination take you"

"Get out of my cab"

Brilliant. X

Tal, can you explain your post tho, it has whooshed me completely.

They were a little worse for wear.

(http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141129170322/youtubepoop/images/e/ed/Drugs_are_bad.jpg)

Oh I see. Tx, I must be getting thicker as I get older.

So, ladies and gentlemen, it's day five at 5:30am and we are sat in Starbucks at the Nugget waiting for our driver to pick us up and take us on our second road trip.
Today we are off to L.A.
Now I know most of you think we are mad trying to do so much stuff when there are more than enough things to see and do in L.V., but we reckoned we probably never be there all together again, so we might as well make the most of it.

There were enough of us to have a private charter that day, so no other unsuspecting tourists, just an unsuspecting tour guide, a young black guy called Dave.
Poor man looked slightly taken aback when we clambered into the bus fighting over the window seats, but he soon regained his composure.
Problem was, although he was very professional, (He told us he had previously driven for Steve Tyler and Brittany Spears before the long hours had lead him to switch to tourist charters) he was very reserved, and spoke to us like he was speaking to the cast of Dowton Abbey.
After delivering a flat little pre prepared speech about how lovely the scenery would be along the way, Dave handed out O.J and pastries, slid a Simply Red CD into the player and told us to get comfortable and enjoy our journey, and not hesitate to ask should we need anything.

We managed to contain ourselves for about fifteen minutes, then someone called out 'Are you going to listen to this honky shite all the way there Dave?'
That kind of broke the ice, when he had finished laughing he told us that he only listened to old school hip hop or modern rap with explicit lyrics so a colleague had given him the Mick Hucknall album saying that we'd love it.
This of course gave us free reign to take the piss all day, but by now Dave had reverted to what must have been his normal persona and gave as good as he got, which meant everybody had a lot more fun.

After a couple of hours drive through the Mojave again, including passing through Death Valley which had gotten pretty close to matching the highest recorded temp on Earth that week (130 c, the record being 134 c ) We reached the first stop on our tour, Santa Monica beach and pier.
True to form, we made a show of ourselves the moment we got off of the bus by marching obliviously through a scene from the TV detective series Rizzoli and Isles being filmed on the pier.
How we didn't notice the all the people and equipment I'll never know, but we walked right in between the actors and the camera and the director had to shout CUT! At least I think that's what he said.
It was all very embarrassing, but they were really nice and we had a chat and a laugh with the crew about it afterwards.

Santa Monica was lovely but there was a strange smog hanging in the air which made it look like a grey day at Cleethorpes even though it was really hot. We had a picnic lunch, a stroll down the pier and I even dipped my toes in the Pacific ocean just to say I had.
After a hour or so Dave came to collect us and off we went to our next stop, Beverly hills.

.

 "the director had to shout CUT! At least I think that's what he said". ;applause;

Not a Vegas story I know, but I thought I'd share a little part of my day with the the good folk of blonde.

I was walking back to my car this afternoon after a spot of shopping when i noticed that one of my rear tyres was quite deflated.
Thankfully it wasn't completely flat, more like a slow puncture so I thought I would blow it up at the nearest garage and let my old man deal with it when I got home.
Thing is, after almost twenty years of driving I'd never yet had to do this particular little task but, how hard could it be?
First job was to locate the air pump thingy on the garage forecourt.
I soon found it, but unfortunately it was about ten feet away from the open doors of a shipping container that was sheltering half a dozen men in hi vis jackets, who were supposed to be washing cars but due to a lack of customers and presumabley a radio or newspaper, all decided to stare at me like someone blowing tyres up was the most interesting thing to happen all day.

Trying to ignore them I set about the task, but failed at the first hurdle as the machine needed 50p I didn't have. After a quick trip into the garage for change I came back and proceeded to read the instructions (Manufacturers recommended psi?! I just dialled it up a bit and hoped for the best) put my money in, pulled out the pipe and purposefully walked round to the flat tyre.
Well I tried, because I got just over halfway when I ran out of pipe and it was yanked out of my hand.
My audience began to mumble between themselves at this point, I don't know the Romainian for 'check out this stupid woman' but I'm guessing that was the gist.
I quickly jumped into the car and did the worlds fastest three point turn, aware that I had already wasted half of the four minutes of air allotted and I'd only got one fifty pence, got back out still managing not to make eye contact with any of what now seemed twice as many smirking men, screwed off the little cap in record time, jammed the nozzle onto the valve and triumphantly pressed the handle.
It was only when the jet of water squirted me in the eye that I realised I'd had the wrong hose all along.
I can still hear the laughter.  ;ashamed;

Well at least it wasn't petrol.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao