blonde poker forum

Welcome to an ongoing blog encompassing my life as an expat living in Almaty Kazakhstan.

I'm not overly keen to expose my identity as the expat population here is fairly small and as I'm a private person(hark at him writing a blog) but I'll try to answer any queries and questions and provide as much information and context as I can about this fantastic, ridiculous and downright bizarre country.

I've lived here for several years with my family and I work as an English language tutor. More on me later.

Almaty

A city located in the south of Kazakhstan with a population of 1.7m people. Sitting in a bowl between two mountain ranges. The closest and most spectacular is the Tian Shen range located about 8km north of the city.

(http://i.imgur.com/dXzPlom.jpg)

The currency is the Tenge, when I arrived the exchange rate was roughly 250 tenge to £1 and now it's around 500 tenge to £1. This is due to price of oil falling rapidly and the fact the currency was floated on a global free trade rather than being artificially linked to the Rouble and propped up by government money as happened since independence.

Last month we had a new banknote introduced into circulation...
(http://i.imgur.com/chbaHrv.jpg)

I feel that's long enough for a intro post. I'll be happy to answer any questions and I will probably ramble on a little more in those posts. I think that's a better idea than me just writing down a long list of stuff all at once.

Thanks for reading.

BOOM, been waiting for this, good luck.

Oh, & as the cool kats say (G2L, nirvana etc) "subscribed".

cheers tommy

rock on, looking forward to lots of pictures of Kazakhstan!

Subscribed ;)

I'm in

The Kazakh people

Our glorious leader...

(http://i.imgur.com/Vx9u2x0.jpg)

Nursultan Nazarbayev, a local boy done good type. Started off working in a steel mine, joined the communist party as you do and rose through the ranks to lead Kazakhstan since 1989. Wins elections with 99% of the vote and the only other candidate is from the same party.  It's a dictatorship in all but name and he is a tyrant. Embezzling money, killing opponents, stifling free speech and press but he is our despot and we love him. He would genuinely win elections comfortably without rigging them and for many people here it's a case of better the devil you know. They and I look at other similar states where so called tyrants are removed and the country falls into civil war. It would happen here.

The Kazakh nationality is made up of 120+ ethnicities and origins that have all melded together over the years. The people are fiercely protective of their origins and become offensive when you call them Kazakh when they are in fact 1/4 Dungan, 1/4 Kazkah and 1/2 Russian etc etc. For most of the Kazakh is just what it says in their passport.
Locals can pinpoint different mixes of ethnicity just by looking at faces whereas my expertise stretches to "you look a bit Russian" or "you look Asian".

Russian and Kazakh are the two official languages. Everyone speaks Russian and it's the 'business' language so to speak whereas Kazakh is traditional, spoken amongst the old generation and sometimes ridiculed by the younger.
A fair comparison is Wales speaking English(Russian) and Welsh(Kazakh). English is becoming more prevalent(due to brilliant tutors like me!) and the younger generation understand the importance of learning English as a tool to further a career.

The people are reasonable tolerant of foreigners but the typical English mentality of speaking English slowly and loudly doesn't work here. People working in service industries very rarely speak English so it's a very steep learning curve when you arrive trying to ask for a bottle of milk etc.

Just as English people expect foreigners living in English to have a grasp of English the same goes here. Quite fairly.

The women have a reputation of being on average very attractive and I'd agree with that. No pyjamas and Ugg boots going to Asda here, it's a big shame to be seen looking anything less than your best so women are always nicely turned out and presentable. A refreshing change. The men are men's men. They don't really give a crap what they look like because they are men and here men rule the roost and women do not.

Here is your average Kazakh woman...
(http://i.imgur.com/gbL8rMC.jpg)

Not really, this is Sabina Altynbekova, the Kazakh volleyball player who turned a few heads at the 2012 Olympics but you get the jist.

PS I'll post some of my own pictures in due time but I'll need some time to find some good ones and I'm using my iPad right now so these are just stock.

I think I'm going to like this diary ;)

Subbed, more diversity for Blonde, love it.

I'm incredibly interested. Central Asia is an area you seldom hear anything about and i would love to go visit someday. In the meantime living vicariously through you would be great!

Last one for tonight.

Food and Drink

(http://i.imgur.com/bGYF37A.jpg)

Yes they eat horse, yes I've eaten horse and it's very tasty. It's a delicacy, very expensive and only eaten on special occasions. When invited to a gathering as a special guest( as foreigners tend to be) it's extremely rude to refuse the best cut of horse.

(http://Dishes)
All local cuisine is cheap to make, energy laden and heavy on the stomach

Plov
(http://i.imgur.com/nMrye84.jpg)

Spicy rice, carrots, meat. Job done.

Beshbarmak
(http://i.imgur.com/pj4RNX0.jpg)

Flat noodle, onions, meat. Ditto

Shashlik
(http://i.imgur.com/fr4pyvr.jpg)

Skewers of meat or fish(chicken, lamb, duck etc) marinated and grilled.
Dozens of restaurants dotted around the city. You find one you like and stick with it. To visit another shashlik restaurant is akin to cheating on your wife.

Kazy
(http://i.imgur.com/1utyEYT.jpg)

Horse meat sausage. Looks disgusting and is an acquired taste. Quite daunting the first time it's given to you on a plate.

Chechil

(http://i.imgur.com/Y2X5MFy.jpg)

Originally from Armenia this is our version of Cheesestrings, it's a cheese cured in brine and it's the absolute best accompaniment for beer. Salty, smokey and delicious.

Fruit and vegetables are plentiful and cheap. No pesticides are used and they just taste fresher and better. A few irregular shaped carrots here and there that wouldn't make it past Tesco quality control but they are great.
People like to drink alcohol. A lot of it. Vodka is the poison of choice for many and again it's shameful to refuse an alcoholic drink from your host. Beer is also popular and a couple of Russian brews are very popular. Baltika and White Bear.

Price comparisons

I'm blissfully unaware how much food costs in the UK now so this is purely for your reference.

Milk 1lt - 60p
Bread medium white loaf - 20p
Apples 1kg - 40p
Onions 1kg - 10p, yeah 10p
Chicken 1kg - £2
Mars Bar regular - 30p
Coca Cola 500ml - 30p
Beer 500ml - 40p
Vodka 1l - £3
Cheese(local) 500g - £1.50 and tasteless
Cheese(imported) 1kg - £13! And by imported cheese I don't mean a nice mature cheddar for England, I mean the day glow luminous orange 'cheddar' from USA.

More to follow maybe tomorrow or maybe at the weekend. I like to ride my bike into the mountains so I'll take some photos on the way.


I think we will end each post with a picture of a famous Kazakh and in the interest of fairness amongst the many bikini clad Kazakh beauties here is...

(http://i.imgur.com/JotQ1hA.jpg)

This is Al-Farabi, and according to wiki he was a renowned philosopher and jurist who wrote in the fields of political philosophy, metaphysics, ethics and logic. He was also a scientist, cosmologist, mathematician and music scholar.
Kazakhstan, not just a pretty face. Interestingly(?) the main road in Almaty is named Al-Farabi street. I'd like to think his name was Alan Farabi and he shortened it once he became renowned but seems unlikely.

Thanks for reading.

A friend of mine has been working over there on an oilfield devolpmemt in Tengiz Atyrau for 3 years now and seems to like it
Quite a change from being a geotechnical consulting engineer in the uk !
I must ask how that all came about !

A place to visit

Big Almaty Lake

(http://i.imgur.com/KKaRoui.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/KLf2RkJ.jpg)

30kms south of the city lies this succinctly named beauty. It's a big lake, near Almaty. Makes sense.
The drive to the lake is usually punctuated with 'official' checkpoints which are usually nothing more than two blokes dressed up in an old military uniform trying to extort money (a road toll) from unwitting tourists. 500 Tenge(£1) usually does the trick.
The lake itself is obviously a beautiful attraction and it a main water source for the city of Almaty.
Crystal clear and beautiful blue in the summer, milky and turquoise in spring and frozen and covered in pure white snow in winter.
Temperatures vary between bloody cold and boiling hot and can change rapidly so if you do want to visit try to be prepared for extremes.
Be careful not to get too close to the edge of the water or you will be confronted by the 'Ecological Guards', these guys are genuine government workers carrying around automatic guns and they are not to be messed with or argued with. Everyone here is in it for the money so you will be 'fined' around 2,500 Tenge (£5) and sent away with a kick up the arse.

 'Fines', 'tolls' 'bribes' etc will becoming a running theme in the blog. The back handed handshake is really the only way things get done here.

An anecdote to sum up how crazy the situation can get...

A friend of a friend owed a kindergarten in the city which unfortunately caught fire in the early hours one morning, the owner phoned the fire brigade and was told "unfortunately we can't locate any water right now but we have a special supply we can access, it will cost just $4000"
Madness.

Our famous Kazakh this morning is quite astoundingly another Alan...

(http://i.imgur.com/kFye0U4.jpg)

Alan Buribayev is a composer who is the current Principal Conductor at the RTÉ National Symphony Orchestra which is the national symphony orchestra of Ireland.

A beginner's guide to speaking Kazakh and Russian

English                             Kazakh                            Russian
one                                   бір(bir)                             один(adin)
two                                   екі(yeki)                           два(dva)
three                                 үш(ush)                          три(tri)
four                                   төрт(tert)                         четыре(chityri)
five                                    бес(bes)                          пять(pyat)
six                                     алты(alta)                        шесть(shest)
seven                                жеті(zheta)                     семь(sem)
eight                                  сегіз(segiz)                     восемь(vosem)
nine                                   тоғыз(toghz)                   девять(devit)
ten                                     он(on)                             десять(desit)

Enjoy.

Lagman though <3

wohooooo thanks you for the blog
but thank you for your help in finding out where Almaty is
its a city state in Civilization V and its the only city state i didn't know  the location of but kept forgetting to google when i wasn't playing the game

Excellent bloggery.

Fully subscribed.

Great start, in

Well the first page was fascinating. Many thanks and I cant wait for more. Will have to say a big No to the horse sausage though.

''The men are men's men. They don't really give a crap what they look like because they are men and here men rule the roost and women do not.''

''Mars bar - 30p''

Just gonna boot up Skyscanner.

Lol - this is also where I first heard of Almaty.

We just need someone to do a blog from living in Tyre and Byblos in Lebanon to complete my set of 'city states I'd never heard of'.

I see your lagman and raise you some dapanji

Thank you everyone for the kind words. Inspiring me to do better. There is so much I want to reveal and discuss but I fear it will all be a bit here, there and everywhere. Anyway should be a fun journey.
I'll reveal more about myself as I don't really care who sees this. Clearly my name is Tom, I've lived here for three years and it's the first time I've lived abroad.
My main passion is cycling, I love doing it, watching it, reading about it, gambling on it etc I also play some poker fairly poorly.
I like betting sports and horses although the horse interest has dwindled since I left the UK and started eating them regularly.
I'm quite an insular person in so much that I prefer to spend my free time with my wife and kids or on my own and I find it quite difficult to make news friends.

Kazakh Kustoms part 1

NEVER shake hands or embrace a married woman without her husbands express permission.
An empty plate will always be filled, if you've eaten enough respectfully leave a small amount of food on your plate and it will be removed.
Never whistle, it's a sign that your money will float away.
Never embrace across a threshold(doorway), it's a sign that death is following you.
 
Thanks for reading.

is your wife an expat too?

how does she find life in such a different society where womens role's as so different than they are over here?

were your kids born over there? if not same question......life over there for them versus the uk (perhaps they are too young to care!)

My wife is also British yes and both of my children were born in the UK. The eldest, my son is educated at the private school where my wife works and my daughter goes to a local kindergarten. Both are speaking Russian which I feel is just an awesome situation for them. A free ride learning a difficult, useful and pretty cool language.

My daughter was so young when we moved here that she has grown up as a Kazakh child and follows all the normal behavioural and dietary patterns you would expect. When we are visiting England she dislikes the food and we have to attempt Kazakh dishes for her to eat.
My son is older and was more set in his ways so was and still is more reticent to adjust to the food and the culture. This shall change when he gets his first Kazakh girlfriend I should imagine.

My wife is very independent and doesn't take kindly to my teasing about trading her in for a younger Kazakh model. In terms of the wider lifestyle she resents the fact that women aren't as respected here, for example if she phones the handyman saying our hot water isn't working then he will not rush but if I speak to him then things will be sorted a lot quicker. Old habits and customs die hard here.

Famous Kazakhs

(http://i.imgur.com/s3TNCYS.jpg)

This is Alyona Subbotina, a former Olympic volleyball player turned model. She currently has contracts with the fashion houses of Givenchy, Helmut Lang and Giorgio Armani. She has also worked for Vivienne Westwood and Gaultier and is admired for her 'albino' look.

So are you considered a little henpecked by your Kazakh contemparies?
A great read by the way and will certainly be following your on going escapades. What a great experience for your kids BTW.

Keep going here there and everywhere Tom, you've got the mix just right.

BTW- My name is Tom, I like cycling, I don't make friends easily and I'm crap at poker. We also have some very weird customs here in Sharnford.

Not to go too much off topic but I really don't get how these women are models, I thought Draco Malloy had discovered meth.

Anyway, great diary- keep it up!

Is it really the greatest country in the world?

I read that it really does have a higher quality potassium than most countries and Borat wasn't making it up!

Perfect timing this blog, I'll be in mighty Almaty in a month!
I sent you a pm.

As most of my work colleagues are women I think they are more in awe of the power western women have. When we get paid and I tell them I give my salary to my wife or I literally have no money in my pocket at any given time they find it incredulous.
My dad works and gives my mother the money and I do the same.

My daughter had a birthday party and amongst the dozen or so kids that attended there were 8 nationalities. Kazakh, Russian, British, Egyptian, Ukranian, American Chinese and Armenian, all content and happy playing using that special language children seem to have. The innocence of youth.

Places to visit

Ascension Cathedral

(http://i.imgur.com/4H0RB1q.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/vUqfLZe.jpg)


Completed in 1907, the entire structure is built from wood and without nails.
Miraculously it survived a magnitude 8 earthquake that struck the city in 1911 that flattened almost everything. A brilliant marketing tool for the church as they assigned the survival to divine intervention.
Interestingly or not the city's first commercial radio transmitters were located in the belfry. It can be found in Panfilov Park, which also has some statues and sculptures dedicated to fallen soldiers and an old tank and anti aircraft guns that can be explored and climbed upon.
Be you priest or jarhead, Panfilov Park is fun for all the family.

(http://i.imgur.com/42Qea4y.jpg)

Enjoying it a lot so far. Thanks for starting the thread.

My questions are about cycling,

Who is your all time favourite cyclist from any era you have watched?

How has the widespread use of drugs amongst many top riders past (and perhaps present) impacted on your enjoyment of the sport? - For me knowing that almost all of my favourite riders from the 1990s and early 2000s were doped in some way has unfortunately tainted my view of the sport. How can I get around this and start enjoying watching these great athletes on their bikes again?

Have you visted any of Kazakhstan's neighbouring countries?

- I see occasional poker tournament series in Kazakhstan and I really would like to go!

Wow what a question about cycling. I'll be honest. I grew up idolising Marco Pantani, I mean who couldn't love the guy? The antithesis of the metronomic riders like Indurain and Armstrong, a really cool dude and just fantastic to watch riding a bike. They everyone got busted and I was like you, how can you trust anyone? You can't and I still don't.
It's implausible to me that during the 90's and 2000's that if, a conservative estimate, one third of the peloton were doping how could any clean rider ever win a race? So in my eyes for two decades anyone who won a race was doping.
Now I don't care for any riders except the ones I've backed, I assume everyone is doping and factor that into my gambling.

A little anecdote about doping and gambling...

April 2013 and I'm watching the Giro Del Trentino and I see some journeyman Italian riding blasting away from some top climbers and finishing second behind a breakaway winner.

(http://i.imgur.com/TRFyE8n.png)

Mauro Santambrogio is a name that will live with me forever. I just knew he was doping, absolutely 100% with his little fat face flying up the steepest climbs Italy had to offer.

(http://i.imgur.com/at8Cmhb.jpg)

Literally before he crossed the line I was on Oddschecker looking up odds for the Giro D'Italia. 300/1! 300 to f***ing 1!
A quick check to make sure he was going to ride the race and I loaded up with a bet big enough to buy half a house.


Fast forward a few weeks and it's stage 14 of the Giro, the first real mountain stage. Nibali looks very strong but Wiggins has crashed and Santambrogio is hanging around the top 10 with a shot at making top 3 and banking me a 75/1 place winner.

I remember stage 14 vividly, well the last 200m because the fog was so bad that there was no live coverage except for a camera at the finishing line. Visibility was about 100m and I waited and waited watching an empty road until suddenly...

(http://i.imgur.com/R0H3qGe.jpg)

I saw the luminous yellow before I saw his fat face but I just knew. Trying to contain my excitement sat watching it with my wife was difficult to say the least.
When all was done and dusted Santambrogio was in 4th place overall just 1 second behind 3rd, he was clearly the strongest climber along with Nibali and a place was in the bag, hell Nibali could have a bad day or a crash and I'd be looking at a 300/1 winner.

A teammate of Santambrogio's was Danilo De Luca, a former Giro winner but a bit long in the tooth now, still a great teammate to have in the high mountains except he wasn't helping, he was attacking every day, in breaks, being a nuisance, I couldn't figure it out.
Then it happened, De Luca caught doping and thrown out of the race. The same day Santambrogio cracked on the mountains and struggled for the rest of the race finishing 11th or 12th or whatever.
A few weeks after the race Santambrogio was caught doping and banned.
Obviously the whole team was at it and when De Luca was caught, they stopped as the authorities were sniffing around the team.
If only De Luca hadn't been such a prick, Santambrogio would have kept doping until the end of the race, I'd have been paid out and then he'd still have been caught later but cycling is settled on the people who stand on the podium and I wouldn't have cared a jot.
Still hurts.

Great thread
You've got me back reading blonde.

Great thread. Really interested.

What do you miss most about UK and if you moved back to the UK which things would you miss most about Kazakhstan?

Do the women there in general prefer non-Kazakh guys? (I live in Thailand where generally Westerners are seen as better catches than Thai men - though that varies from North to South a bit).

Thirdly - what do you think of Lance Armstong? I listened to a podcast with him and watched the infamous long documentary. Both very interesting and overrall I feel a bit sorry for him. Think coming back after cancer was a stupid move but in a sport where everyone was(is?) doping, he was just the best.

I miss very little about the UK, I guess I miss the spontaneous Sunday afternoons down the boozer with my mates watching Super Sunday but on the flip side I enjoy being away from all the drama and chew that drags down any close knit community(which I was from).
My parents visit every 18 months or so and my relationship is pretty fractious anyway so I have no qualms with that.

Kazkah women make a very clear choice, Asian style men or European style men. You can pick both. Clearly the size of the European guys wallet can be a crucial factor. They hear your British accent and think you're loaded, which you are in comparison to locals. Buyer beware as always.

I am totally ambivalent towards Armstrong beyond the fact that I agree with you that he is unfairly chastised at time. Everyone was doping(Ullrich, Pantani et al) and he was still the best, so I respect his ability to ride his bicycle but it should not be forgotten what a mean and horrible piece of shit he is. I'm sure you're already aware but the way he treated his soigneur Emma O'Reilly shows the kind of bloke he is.

Great read, enjoying this alot.

Back to an earlier point in regard to the film Borat. Obviously a piss take film, but im guessing could have had a massive negative effect in the country.
Is/was there anything done about it? Banned or covered up in the media etc? Obviously very different cultures to the ones here in the UK and might easily take more offence.

Regarding the horsemeat sausage, a Scots lad working in a mine in next door Kyrgyzstan thought he'd crack a joke about that. Not a good idea :)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/kyrgyzstan/12079017/Briton-faces-five-years-in-jail-for-horse-penis-slur-on-Kyrgyzstan-sausage-delicacy.html

Kazakhs are not the biggest fans of Sasha Baron Cohen, I've tried to tell them that he wasn't taking the piss out of them but of Americans and their pre disposed stereotypes but it's understandable that they don't like it.
It was banned here but that seems to have the reverse effect that more people wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Quite embarrassing that whenever my friends talk to me on social media that they usually start the message/post with Yo Borat and on my birthday they like to superimpose my face onto a man wearing a green mankini.

(http://i.imgur.com/1eouwUJ.jpg)

NB... This is not me

I remembering reading this story when it happened. Surprise surprise he wasn't jailed for 5 years, I think he has his visa revoked and was sent home.
Seems a little excessive to me but you have to remember that countries like Kyrgyzstan are heavily reliant on overseas investment and knowledge and they are sensitive to how their country is represented in the global media(social included).
As I said before horse meat is a delicacy eaten on special occasions, these people invited and accepted this guy to share their traditions and he took the piss.

I'd also like to note the irony of this Scottish guy bashing other countries dietary habits...

(http://i.imgur.com/DJDxOU7.jpg)

(http://i.imgur.com/A5FsYYT.jpg)


Hoping this post hasn't alienated any Scottish readers. This guy started it. :) Happy weekend everyone.

Nauryz

Nauryz is the official new year of the Kazakh people, it's celebrated each year on the Spring Equinox which this year is 21st of March.
The whole country shuts down for three days of celebration, festivities and giving thanks.
Entires city centre are transformed and transported into the glorious past of the Great Kazakh Steppe.
Its a tradition for everyone to dress up in the traditional Kazakh dress, like this...

(http://i.imgur.com/FqeHIsJ.jpg)

and this

(http://i.imgur.com/vd2iAm3.jpg)

Traditional tents called yurts are erected in the main squares

(http://i.imgur.com/62HaeCH.jpg)

You will be serenaded by the local instrument the dombra

(http://i.imgur.com/95N7vqe.jpg)

A special broth is served only on this occasions. It's called Nauryz Kozhe and it's a milky, creamy soup with meat and rice. It's genuinely disgusting. It has a total of seven ingredients and they symbolise seven virtues or qualities. Joy, success, intelligence, health, wealth, agility and security.

(http://i.imgur.com/TQcKa2y.jpg)

Nauryz is the time when you forgive any enemies you have and make a fresh start to conincide with the fresh start to the year that the equinox brings.

As for me I'm flying to Delhi next Monday to watch some of the t20 World Cup. I'm meeting my dad there, and I have not seen him in a year so I'm excited to spend some time with him as well.
If it's okay I'll do a few 'live' updates from Delhi as it should be more exciting than my 'wake up, go to work, go home, poker stars, bed' routine that I am in here.

Also excited for Cheltenham starting tomorrow and I'll post my picks in here just to give the diary a bit of diversity.

Travelling, poker and cricket. My kinda guy.

Was inspired to watch a documentary on Turkmenistan because of this thread, i imagine the disparity probably makes Kazakhstan seem like a walk in the park. Might have been a biased doc but life in that country seems insanely farcical. Was wondering how do the Kazakh's view their "-stan" neighbours? Is there a rivarly with the Uzbeks as Borat suggests lol?

Hello Pal, I've tried at least half a dozen times to get a visa into Turkmenistan. I've always wanted to visit Derweze which is a village where this is located...

(http://i.imgur.com/2bcjkyH.jpg)

The so called 'Door To Hell', for anyone unaware of this phenomenon, a Soviet drilling rig was set up here in 1971 to exploit the countries rich reserves of natural gas, however the ground below this rig was unstable and collapsed leaving this 70 meter wide crater that was spewing out gas, the Soviets decided to burn off the gas and set it alight. Scientists anticipated the gas burning off in two days and it's still on fire 45 years later. Science, pah.
So anyway I've tried to get a visa 6 times and been rejected every time. They ask that you are accompanied by a local governmentally selected guide from the moment you set foot in the country until the moment you leave, like North Korea.

As for our neighbours, we live very close to the borders of the other 'stans' so there is quite a mix of ethnicities. As a nation Kazakhstan of course feels it's the 'best' of the stans, the biggest, the richest and most powerful. Infact around 18 months ago President Nazarbayev proposed changing the name of Kazakhstan to Казак ели(Kazakh Yeli) which translate as Kazakh Nation as he felt the 'stan' was stopping foreign investment as people heard the 'stan' and thought of Pakistan, Afghanistan and other places you'd rather not do business or visit.
What do you think?

Wow that looks incredible! Is there any reason why they keep denying your visa application?

That fire pit is really something, would love to go there!

I request not to use a guide. I don't want to have to do as I am told once I am there. Also they don't like you travelling in from a country that is not where your passport is issued. I would have more chance booking my journey starting in the UK but that's a waste of time and effort.

(http://Cheltenham Day One)

1:30 Tombstone
2:10 no bet
2:50 Morning Assembly
3:30 Sempre Medici
4:10 The Govaness
4:50 Ballychorus
5:30 Javert

A few to go to war with. Good luck to anyone getting involved at Cheltenham today.

Too many beers and not enough winners yesterday has left me nursing a sore head today.
Will try to address the balance today.

Thanks for doing this blog. Being an unofficial expat myself (i spend most of my time in the Netherlands) I love stuff like this. I find that everything is new and exciting for a while. There are so many things that are different that you wouldn't have cared to think about when living in England. The things that top the list are pubs, food and architecture usually.

So things like milk and bread taste really different? What part of a staple British diet is ignored in Kazahkstan? Do people have a poor sense of humour? Do people have strong family values? In the quieter suburbs/villages/towns do people say hi on the street? Do people stick to 3 meals a day and follow the British "small breakfast, small lunch, big dinner"?

Odd questions I know but thanks again for doing this.

Evening all, apologies for the lack of updates but I was fully engrossed in Cheltenham last week and felt a bit crappy over the weekend.
Anyhow...
(http://i.imgur.com/9DiL5WV.jpg)

Last minute preparations are under way for my trip to India. I'm on the 7:55am flight from Almaty to Delhi, my dad is arriving in Delhi sometime before me so first plan is to meet up with him then pick up our tickets for England v Afghanistan on Wednesday. I'll try to update everyday with some interesting pictures and stories.

lucky_scrote thanks for your post pal, lets answer your questions.
Milk is all UHT so tastes different to me but I only drink it in my coffee. Bread is made using a different strain of flour so tastes different yeah, interestingly(?) my wife's mother is gluten intolerant but she was able to eat Kazkah bread without any of the effects.
Quite a large number of British staples are ignored unfortunately, mashed potato, bacon, battered fish, chicken tikka etc. Sandwiches are just not eaten here anywhere, no packaged ones at supermarkets, no ham or decent cheese is available.
Sense of humour is divided between the generations, as you would suggest for most places in the world. Older people are very traditional and don't take kindly to jokes whereas the younger lot, especially those with no recollection of living under the Soviet regime prior to 1991 are more self depricating and easy to joke with. They know elections are rigged etc and appreciate how it looks to foreigners.
If I go to a small village people hear me speaking English and look at me like I've got three heads. Then they make a big fuss of impressing the foreigner so I'm not the best person to ask. I get the impression that smaller places are very very tightly knit, it's the only way to survive but that strange locals are treated with suspicion, after all small villages have very little to offer or things to do so it makes little sense for any strangers to be there.
Hope that answered your questions and keep on reading.

I'll finish with an interesting story that happened to me yesterday.
As I previously mentioned I'm meeting my dad in Delhi so my mother took the opportunity to fly here to visit the grandchildren. I was dispatched to collect here from the airport at 2am and used a local taxi, arranged for him to wait for me at the airport and bring us home.
Anyhow someone mistook my mother's case for their own so I'm waiting around for about an hour for her. Finally it's resolved and I go to find the taxi but he has gone, "balls" and strange because I hadn't paid him but had left my travel coffee cup in his car. I was annoyed as he hadn't called and knackered as it was approaching 4am so I flag down another taxi and head home.
I'm laid slumbering at around 7am and my phone is going crazy, after about 5 calls I pick it up. It's the taxi driver "excuse me but I've been waiting for 4 hours. What's going on?"
Jesus H Christ, he had been moved to a different part of the car park by the plod and sat for 4 hours waiting. I felt absolutely terrible. Poor bloke. Told him to drop my coffee cup off and I'd pay him, he actually started to apologising. Made me feel worse, the taxi was on a meter, the total bill for two fares at about 25km each way and four hours waiting time? A tenner. Good old Kazakhstan, I trebled it and promised I'd use him as much as possible in a way of apology.

Haha nice story about the taxi. Crazy how transport prices in other countries compare to England. For example an hours train journey for me costs around £15 in the uk, but today I took a train in Thailand for an hour and a half. The cost? 38p. Mad.

Keep posting Tommy.

I've arrived at Almaty airport but not without a little excitement.
Found a taxi at about 5am and we are tootling along the same old road until about 4km from the airport the driver takes an unexpected turn onto an old rickety road I've not used before, I've made this journey to the airport twenty times.
My mind starts to wander and I'm thinking maybe this guy is going to rob me of my case and money. Makes sense, travellers carry money, electricals and stuff.
I chastise myself for having such a low default opinion of the locals until he pulls the bloody car over onto a dirt embankment. "Shit", he turns and looks at me and in some beautiful crisp English he says, "sorry....I need a piss".
No need for an espresso at the airport now.

Excellent diary.

I have been once a few years ago, but only a short trip to Astana. As with many places, I feared the worst, and as a result was enchanted by how much better it was than the picture I had painted myself.

It was a work trip to discuss a road building project, and we have since taken on a Russian speaker to look after the ex Russian states, so I no longer deal with Kazakhstan, but my recollection is how whenever payment was due or a someone wanted to avoid a meeting, the drastic measures the business chiefs went to avoid you, with examples cited like Mr N has had a heart attack, or Mr M has had A massive car crash and will be in hospital for 3 months, or on one occasion Mr S even claimed a child had died, when we knew he had none. I'm not sure if this is a typical trait, or one you would even be exposed to, but it was always fairly amusing to me.

They love a bit of concrete over there, but sadly our German competitor, who has been there longer than us, has helped build some rather poor roads, as they don't understand how to pave the stuff so it can survive the 80/100 degree temperature swngs you get over there.

Day Zero

I've arrived in India by the skin of my teeth, the journey was slightly terrifying. It began serenely and fortunately enough, on the Tarmac of the runway in Almaty I was treated to this backdrop...
(http://i.imgur.com/6j12Cei.jpg)
Most of my to-ings and fro-ings from the glorious nation of Kazakhstan take place in the dead of night so this was a genuine pleasure.
I was seated by the emergency exit on the plane, extra leg room and an empty seat next to me. A decent result.
Take off was fine and I read a little of my book - Bounce by former British number one table tennis player Matthew Syed(review to follow), I ate some horrible Air Astana rice porridge and honey, washed it down with some equally foul coffee and settled down for a nap.
I was awoken an hour later by the seat belt noise and the captain warning of approaching turbulence, no problem I thought, I'm an experienced flyer.
The reality was a washing machine-esque, vomit inducing, digging around for some new undies kind of turbulence.
I was genuinely terrified for the first time on an aeroplane, it culminated in a free fall which seemed to last 30 seconds but was probably about 3. There were screams and tears in the cabin and the colour of the stewardesses face showed that this was not normal.
The captain reduced the altitude and we were free from the jet stream and normality resumed.
An exhilarating beginning to the trip!

Day One

I arrived at Indira Ghandj airport, which reminds me of a nice seafront amusement arcade with its old fashioned carpeting and staff wearing gold waistcoats.
I suddenly feel de stressed and relaxed without understanding why then suddenly it hits me, things are written in English! Months and years of my brain always being on high alert to deal with the complexity and perplexity of reading the Russian Cyrillic alphabet dissipates.
Riding my new found wave of happiness I breeze through customs, change a few Rupees and meet my driver Mr Singh(odds on that?), I shuffle into an old Dhatsun minivan and off we go.
We pull up to a set of traffic lights and BAM! I'm greeted by the cacophony of chaos that is Delhi. A dozen children surround the van begging for money and trying to sell tat. The driver asks me to ignore them as it could cause a riot if I give money. I try to avoid their eyes whilst looking down at my £150 sunglasses. An auspicious start and I feel bad.
After what seems like an eternity we are away into an urban jungle, blooming flowers and barbed wire. Blossoming trees and piles of abandoned concrete. Women in luminous saris stepping over sleeping drifters and beggars.

Excellent!

More please.

Day One continued

90 minutes later and I've covered the 11 miles and arrived at the Hotel Broadway.

http://www.hotelbroadwaydelhi.com

It's fairly clean, the water is hot and the beer is cold however the road on which it's situated is also home to a festering ocean of human flotsam and despair. Let me set the scene...

I see a small stone square yard on which are 5 barrels full of clear liquid, inside the barrels are goat carcasses and there are half a dozen live goats tied to a pole, one by one they are taken and have their throats slit and are thrown into a barrel. Blood has trickled into the road and pools. Nobody seems surprised or bothered. There are approximately 25 middle aged Indian men lying on the pavement. They are dirty, have little or no clothes and seem to be waiting for death. I wonder if it would be more humane to for someone to put them out of this misery, much like a deer with a hoof caught in the grille of a car. I ponder for a second then I decide with utter certainty that it would.
The pavement is smashed to pieces and piles of concrete make walking almost impossible. I'm forced onto the road and I'm almost knocked over by a rouge motorised rickshaw driver who swears at me in Urdu(probably).
It stinks of curried dog shit and despair, the heat of the sun gently warming up the piles of rubbish that are everywhere you look.
There are a row of a dozen shops/shacks adjoining my hotel. The only one with any customers is a shop called "Wine and Beer".
I take a deep breath, trying not to taste and join the queue.
6 bottles of Kingfisher in my bag, I check in to the hotel sit on my comfortable bed close my eyes and try to work out how many hours until I leave.

The Thug Pub looks amazing!

Need pictures of you enjoying a pint in there!

Haha it's brilliant pal. I'll be happy to provide. I have many pictures but Imgur doesn't seem to work on this wifi connection.

Yeah the Thug Pub looks amazing, loving the trip report and diary, more pics please.

Having a quick beer in The Thug now gents. Pictures will probably come once I'm back in Kaz as Imgur isn't playing ball.
Only thing I haven't taken pictures of so far is the utter squalor. I felt it was disrespectful and I was genuinely scared taking my iPad out.
I think I'll have to man up and do it because the pictures will be seriously powerful, much more so than anything I can conjure up with words.
What do you think? Do we need those kind of pics?

enjoying the diary, thanks for writing it.

as for photos,generally the more the better. i reckon the stuff like goats getting slaughtered in street,the terrible state of the roads etc are interesting stuff for your casual reader. however i dont advise rocking up to 25 near naked, homeless indian men that are sleeping in the street . i have travelled and photographed some very poor neighbourhoods, and there is definetely a fine line between nobody batting an eyelid, compared to people losing their rag very quickly if you just snap whatever you see.

how are you finding the food , always wanted to go to india ,mainly kerala, just to pig out on everything.

I'm really enjoying the food pal, trying to taste a little of everything, Punjabi, Kashmiri, Pakistani etc.
I'm going to try a few street food vendors tomorrow so prepare for an update of me writhing in pain with an acute case of Delhi Belly on Saturday.

A great read.

Strangely, I want to go visit there but then again I defiantly don't want to.

I recommend you bring a thick skin and a decent book

My family are originally from a village in Gujarat, still have lots of family there.  I went there 5 years ago for a wedding and tbh i loved the experience.  Go visit a cinema there if you haven't already, i highly recommend it simply for the experience

Evening all, I'm still trucking on, off to watch South Africa v Sri Lanka in an hour. I'll catch up on everything properly once I get back to Kaz over the weekend.

I've backed Siriwadana top batsman for SL tonight, 9/1 for a top 5 player looks appealing especially as Angelo Matthews may not play.
Stay lucky everyone.

Myself and my mate will be in the Shakespeare pub for the football this Saturday. I hear it does remarkably good Indian food?
What's a fair price for a pint? And a fair price for a decent meal?

Blah. Totally neglecting this at the moment. So busy with work.

Wish I'd seen this earlier. I was in that very pub on Saturday night celebrating my wedding anniversary. Would definitely have bought you a pint. How was the food? Do us a review. The curries are top notch in my opinion.
I recommend you also try a shashlik restaurant close by. Let me know if you'd like the address.

I know how you feel. buuuuump

I might be visiting Astana/Karaganda next month. any insight into Air Astana flights from London?

Wow just stumbled across this.
I was/am TommyPlus, the original author. I somehow lost the log in details and could not recover them no matter how hard I tried.
As some of you can tell from my new username I moved on from Kazakhstan to Romania for various reasons.
I think I will resurrect this blog and kindly request a title amendment from the powers that be.

April 20th 2016 - November 26th 2018

My job as an English language tutor was fascinating, rewarding and highly paid. I knew I wanted a career in education and I also knew I would need an education degree to achieve my goals. I absolutely didn't want to move back to the UK to do this so I settled on this fascinating institution.....

(http://i65.tinypic.com/2craxc5.jpg)

I am currently studying a BA in Education(primary studies) and I am absolutely loving being a student again. I am fascinated with the material in the course and can't speak highly enough for the OU.

My wife loves to travel and enjoys ticking off multiple countries wherever possible. Whimsically I presented this to her one Christmas many years ago......

(http://i65.tinypic.com/2ijjn5.jpg)

The only problem was Amazon lied to me. The cost was not the $6.95 that they advertised because it's currently cost me approximately 50 grand to scratch off 47 countries on the map. Since the last time I updated we've visited Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Sweden, Denmark and Italy.

Amazingly we are missing a multitude of European countries so we decided to take jobs in Bucharest and take advantage of it's location in Europe and the access to cheap flights as well as an easier route home in case I need to return to the UK for my studies(It turns out I won't need to).
We flew Bucharest to Ciampino in Rome for $30 each. Incredible value. Greece is next on the agenda in April after a Christmas holiday to be spent exploring Romania.
It feels great to write up a small post on here. It's abreactive(?) for me and I definitely want to try and make this blog interesting again.

More to come on our initial thoughts of Romania in a future post....

Bye for now
(http://i67.tinypic.com/2gtdzit.jpg)

Welcome back.

Post often.

Great stuff.

We can probably get the thread title amended - presumably you'd like "Romania and stuff"?

Never did deliver pictures of the Thug pub!

Thanks man, I will try my best

Succinct, I like it.

It's my biggest shame in this thread and probably stopped me starting it back up again sooner. I am combing my cloud to sate this request. Hopefully I can deliver on this. It's a great pub.

A quick aside before I head out for a couple of hours work.

I got talking to a  Romanian girl I work with about the lack of tourists here in Bucharest compared with other European capitals. Beaches and mountains are close enough, there are some (infamous) historical sites to visit and the city itself is typical gritty and trendy.
After much deliberation we decided it's solely down to the fact Bucharest doesn't have a logo! Branding and marketing are so important in all walks of life.

This little chat got me thinking more about logos and although I have no evidence I would guess they have evolved from the old(and current) Olympic bid logos.

A nostalgic trawl through history followed....

The good

(http://i64.tinypic.com/5eetqq.jpg)

(http://i64.tinypic.com/rk4idw.jpg)

The bad

(http://i64.tinypic.com/qnsakh.gif)

(http://i66.tinypic.com/smturq.gif)

The unfathomably expensive

(http://i65.tinypic.com/25q4upe.jpg)

Designed by the good people of London based brand consultancy firm, Wolff Olins for the bargain price of $625,000

Finally, the nostalgic

(http://i65.tinypic.com/21f06eg.png)

More riveting logo talk to follow...

I've changed the thread title, and it shows correctly on the Diary Board, but it's not populated the individual posts yet. Maybe it will show on all new posts.

If not, I will find a mod who actually knows what they are doing and get them to sort it.

PS - looks like all new posts show the updated title

I still want to know who to thank for pointing out that the London Olympics logo looks like Lisa Simpson doing a Monica Lewinsky!

I think that was Jonathan Ross, back when he was on the BBC.

That's somebody's daughter!

(http://i64.tinypic.com/f9dp8x.jpg)

Logos part 2

Town and city logos should distill a place into the very essence of existence. They should entice, excite and imbue your subconscious until a visit is a mere formality.

Exhibit A


(http://i68.tinypic.com/2l8f88l.png)

(http://i63.tinypic.com/2zo985c.png)


Fantastically, this really is the official logo of Burnley. A snip as part of a 110 grand re-branding scheme.

Better efforts

(http://i67.tinypic.com/abjxac.jpg)


(http://i66.tinypic.com/6ozog6.jpg)


(http://i68.tinypic.com/11jaj6e.png)


(http://i66.tinypic.com/2r2ccgo.png)


So come on city of Bucharest, get your finger out and give us a decent logo!

Settling in Romania


We arrived in August of this year minus our beloved dog Lulu who was forced to spend an extended holiday in Almaty, Kazakhstan due to the plethora of red tape to be overcome regarding her pet passport.

Here is our magnificent beast... she's some kind of maltese/shitzu cross of which the exact percentages I am unsure of.

(http://i67.tinypic.com/24o9404.jpg)

I flew back to Almaty, collected Lulu, bribed various government officials and procured a Kazakh pet passport.

(http://i68.tinypic.com/2yuayx1.jpg)

Throughout the preceding months I had heard and read numerous horror stories from people trying to get non EU animals into Europe. It's all about the threat of rabies apparently. All animals need to be micro-chipped and scanned at specified airports and any minor problems such as the airport's scanner was broken means you were sent back on your way.

(http://i67.tinypic.com/33v1do6.png)

Moving from a dark green to a light green was seemingly impossible without a ton of paperwork or a spell in quarantine. Due the the Kazakh proclivity to accept Tenge for dodgy paperwork their official stuff had zero credibility so I was worried as I disembarked clutching a pet carrier containing a nervous Lulu at Henri Coanda Airport in Bucharest.

I had been advised to seek out the veterinary office which I assumed would resemble this.....

(http://i66.tinypic.com/27y4bxs.jpg)

I arrive at human passport control and it went like this

Me: Hello (hands over human passport and tries to look as little like a Cali cartel member as possible. Seriously what facial expression do people go for when greeting passport control? Smiling seems to invite suspicion as a double bluff)
Lady officer: Hello
Me: I also have my dog here
Officer: Can I see the pet passport
Me: (Hands over Lulu's passport)
Officer: (leans over counter whilst looking at the optional photo in the passport that I had glued in myself) Oh she's so cute (hands back passport) Have a pleasant stay in Romania
Me: ....................... (quietly walks through, collects my bag and drives home)

That was it, she looked at a photo I had DIY'd in myself. No micro chip scan, no rabies injection certificate scrutiny, no brown envelopes passed discreetly under the table (How I miss Kazakhstan), absolutely nothing.

So that's the story of Lulu and also the laxity of EU borders. I quickly swapped her Kazakh passport for an official EU one and now she is free to travel anywhere in the world.

Should we be worried at the lack of stringent borders in the EU? Probably, but I had my dog back and I didn't care at all.

(http://i68.tinypic.com/5nizya.jpg)

Great to have this back.

Travel and dogs is the best combo.

I appreciate those words, lots more of both to follow for sure.