Well the woman in front of me was......she parked her car too far away from the petrol pump and the hole was on the wrong side. She tried valiantly to pull the nozzle towards the tank but failed but while doing so she held onto the nozzle for dear life, squeezing it in her attemps and therefore spraying herself and the forecourt in petrol. She was in tears, the staff had to come out and remove the nozzle from her hands as she cried, the police arrived and she had to pay £5 in petrol.

I'm not sure what to call her?

Ohmigod - that's amazing. Wp Gatso!!!! When will you hear?  UNflipping beleivable! Wow wow wow wow!!!!   

Ok - if you like comedy and live in/near London there is a secret headlining comedian's gig for the next 3 weeks at The Oxford pub in Kentish Town. Tickets can be bought here...https://www.wegottickets.com/searchresults/page/1/promoter
 
They are doing 45 mins or so I am told, tickets £7.50. I know who they are but can't say as they are warm up gigs for forthcoming tours. Suffice it to say if you like Russel Kane or Russell Howard you won't be disappointed but I didn't say that.  It's a small venue, room above a pub, max 45 people, promises to be very good. Not sure if it's just 1 each time or both but the ticket web site says it's both - but good value for money either way. All of this direct from the promotors mouth, don't hold me responsible for any abnormalities. That's not the word I want but I can't think of the real one right now.

Sorry - meant to say it's next Thursday at The Oxford, Kentish Town and also the following 2 Thursdays, just a few yards from the tube.

Just spent 15 mins hanging on the tax help line listening to the worst lift musac possible, eventually got through to the right person, sat down for a long chat and cut myself off. Its going to be a long day.

Eat your heart out, Camel.

Looking at the angle of that picture it would seem to be taking from the drivers seat and the clarity of the picture would suggest that it was yourself who took it, surely you weren't using a camera or a mobile device whilst driving ?  Car too clean to be yours Tikay.

FYP

Lovely duck pics. Question about Ducks - webbed feet - do they get thinner/worn as the ducks get older - or as it's skin does it just keep regenerating? Could a duck loose it's webbing?

Ah see, that's the difference between a duck. One of it's legs are both the same.

Lol and FMl - going to put the kettle on.

Lovely duck pics. Question about Ducks - webbed feet - do they get thinner/worn as the ducks get older - or as it's skin does it just keep regenerating? Could a duck loose it's webbing?

Ok - wasn't on line yesterday - weight this am is 182.5 so just over what I was last week - as I had gone up mid week I'm ok with the downward trend again - more focused this week.

Just had olives and feta cheese (yummy) and half a packet of biscuits.  have a gig tonight and I am stressing about it = blind panic and food binge. I know I won't want to eat now again until afterwards - this is bizarre - never realised how emotionally I ate until now. feel like I've let myself down but it was like an insatiable craving. So re focus and start again - I will suceed.

I did think it was a bit obvious not to have been thought of before.

Just worked out the coal thing - Andrew!

I love Brussels - our hotel was just behind the square. First night there in the snow we found the square, sat outside under the heaters drinking Van Chaud and after that I don't remember much. Spent the entire weekend in an alcoholic haze of food and drink. Have the wine if you haven't already. x

I was thinking about misunderstanding a text from a bloke where i think LOL is lots of love when of course it's Laugh out loud.

That one has been done by Peter Kay, his grandma misunderstanding LOL

If I get any inspiration, I will post it (don't wait up)

Damm didn't know that - well if we get another angle on it it would be ok. Thanks ;-)

It's a predictive text joke.

Ok - I have just typed coal in and it still says coal?

'My boyfriend has gas central heating, so I don't know why he sends me texts asking for coal.'

Whooshed me Mr T - sorry.

Back in 2006, a year or so into the forum's life, we started the Profiles "child"board for people to answer some questions about themselves

318 have done so since. All of them have some interesting things n them, but essentially its a quiet part of the forum that I doubt many people visit any more

Today a new member signed up. "Permanent Quandary"

"Who?" I pondered earlier as I checked his sign up details, IP etc. Just in case he was about to sell us a number plate, you understand

My question was soon answered

He created a profile, on which we learn he is Adam, a dealer at DTD. I probably know Adam by sight, but can't put a face to a name until I am next there


Anyway, his profile. Have a read of this. Including the later questions

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=57160.0

  all apply


It's reminded me, the questions haven't altered for 5 years, so that's another job for the list


If you haven't done a profile, fill one in. Always good to know more about the posters on here....

Completely shocked by this - Neil Channing has got a girlfriend?