To Coggy, It isn't easy for everyone, hope you find the way through.

To Redsgirl,

I would class myself as a schizoid as I write under a dozen different pseudonyms, in more than one language.

As with most  complaints the grey area between multiple personality and schizophrenia is further muddied each time an expert steps into the mire.

I am fortunate in that all the characters I manifest are, invariably, benign and helpful.

My schizoid beginning goes back to childhood, but this story is my ace in the hole. I have been working on a book about it for years; hopefully, I will compete it before the biblical three score and ten.

One per cent of the world population is schizophrenic, I would hazard a guess that for every diagnosed schizophrenic there are half a dozen that aren't; so you probably, inadvertently, know quite a few.

Schizophrenics make excellent  bigamists.

I'm in two minds, about juicing and episodes of schizophrenia - could be that juicing is the cure.

To Coggy,

As Tikay mentioned I'm off to Florida early next week for a fortnight.

Message to any local burglars, Deaf Albert, his mother and Creepy Vinny will be staying here. I wouldn't want to tangle with Deaf Albert's mother.

Hope your juicing is going well Coggy and that you continue to persevere; hopefullly you will be feeling major results in a week or so.

Enough, enough Kinboshi bashing, I don't care if he leaves his room like a schmidthouse or if he momentarily became obsessed with crap, all I am saying is "Give Kinboshi a chance."

Yesterday I was harsh and unfeeling, today is a new day and I awake a better man; benevolent and feeling good about the world.

I also have some interesting information for many of you who (due to sitting long hours at the poker table) suffer with the Farmer Giles, (Hemorrhoids) not difficult to get rid of with the modern elastic banding technique used by the medical profession (outpatient orientated) (invented in Russia) but there is an easier way, and a way of those without them, not contracting them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pYcv6odWfTM

Once you have seen this video you could easily use an upside down plastic bowl to solve the problem.

Many suffer unnecessarily with the farmers (an extremely debilitating complaint) the only thing in its favour, for the sufferer is, when playing poker these guys are hard to read as they are constantly pulling strange faces and shuffling about in their seats, it makes it hard to tell if they have it or not.

I am still a believer in the future dictating the past and this thread seems to have aligned itself to crap, so be it.

All the best Sid Harris    El Sid.

One of the reasons I came to the conclusion that The Diary was in the bargain basement section is because, although I have tried hard to navigate there, it's not particularly easy to find.

It could well be that my computer an Amstrad 1512, is at fault but it manages to do most things on the internet as I have a florexia  power booster model 3.5 attached to it.

If somebody could give me directions of how to get to The Diary - I will be intrigued as to why I couldn't find it.

On another note. At exactly the same time as Alan Sugar was cooking beetroot in the East End, I was cooking beetroot in the West End.

The great secret to cooking beetroot, to ensure it doesn't lose its colour is to throw in an onion. I'm sure that Sugar knew this as not much seems to have got past him. I daresay, if he knew what was going on here, he'd resurrect the company and produce an Amstrad Juicer.

Glad to see that in the fullness of a couple of hours much of the unpleasantness has dissipated. Not sure about my earlier notion about the incest though, might still be prevalent, albeit slightly.

All the best,  Sid Harris    El Sid.

Kinboshi - you are so right that it hurts - watch this right the way through and all the pain would have been worth it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RntTZR4UJUQ

Nice to see the vote of confidence in Kinboshi, I'm sure you all go back a long way.

Only turned up here because of the elation attached to some vegetable juice. Had no agenda apart from trying to pass the message on.

To Tikay and Marky all the best.

All the best to Kinboshi and cronies; might have got the wrong end of the stick about the bargain basement move, but if you look closely at the last posts you might understand how that could happen. It has a lot to do with timing and very little to do with the difference in odds of 6/4 and 13/8.

More to do with Kinboshi's frustration because, It turned out that, although I'm capable of writing a lot of crap, I'm not the world's greatest expert on crap and he just couldn't get his head around it.

I will reread  - How To Win Friends and Influence People on the flight out, so that if I ever darken your door again I will not take umbrage when it isn't necessary and act appropriately in your world.

Kinboshi -Thought it best to move the thread to the Diaries and Blogs board so Sid can regale us with his tales there

What an overreaction, all because I got tired of his continuous allusions to crap. This is the epitome of giving the small man power and how, inevitably, they abuse it.

How did this man become worthy of being an administrator? In the field of administration, what has he actually achieved?

I think it's best that Kinboshi has a moment of retrospection about his need to always have the last word.

I also think he should be made an interlocutor as opposed to an administrator, this course of action to ground him and give him a greater understanding of the human psyche.

It just so happens that this move to the basement section coincides with me leaving for Florida - I have enjoyed my time on Blonde and, if I haven't offended too many people, I hope to return one day; when hopefully Kinboshi has developed a sense of humour, it was also nice to see that some of the incest on the site has dissipated.

All The Best, Sid Harris,  El Sid.

Who am I?!American who woke up one day and could only speak Swedish goes to Europe in an attempt to regain his memories
Michael Boatwright woke up in a Palm Springs Motel 6 in February with no memory of his past life
The former English teacher woke able to only speak Swedish
His doctors said that his amnesia could have been caused by 'massive emotional trauma'


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2399474/American-woke-speak-Swedish-goes-Europe-regain-memory.html#ixzz2cieK3jMX
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

To Kinboshi -

Namna fulani tuna got yakidhoofishwa katika crap, kwa namna fulani tuna kupata nje yake. Tafadhali kuchukua neno la mwisho juu ya somo na sisi wote kuondoka.

All the best - Sid Harris   El Sid.

To Kinboshi, my problem is, I'm not a serious guy, I can't get serious about crap, I just want to be happy, it's not always easy to achieve - I have strange beliefs, I believe in pure joy - whenever you can get hold of it.

I can tell you I had a decent crap this morning but I just flushed it and forgot about it.

This morning when I woke up, it just so happened that I remembered Anne Bancroft's words, "Who gives a shit?" and felt sad for Mel Brooks, living on without this amazing woman. Notwithstanding, that time heals and it has been some time.

I know that there are a lot of other people living on without their partners and for those who truly loved this is the most tragic thing.

Pure joy is different for all of us, for me it exists in timing and delivery, if you can add the chemistry of two devoted people in love, to the mix - it really is pure joy. I live to continuously flirt with the missus, add some humour and you have the Mel Brooks syndrome - pure joy.

The following clip on youtube is Mel Brooks favourite piece of work. You have to see the original film To Be or Not To Be. - to appreciate the original dance routine.

I love it when the funny guy gets the girl; this is Karma at its best. The first time he met Anne Bancroft, (The amazing Mrs. Robinson; one of the greatest actresses of her time) he said to her "I'm Mel Brooks" she replied, "Who gives a shit?"

Watch this Youtube for pure joy, the begining is a little contrived, but once they get into the song - everything in the universe makes sense. http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLIrjJ2esJ4Qk0jVEOGsl62vDdFNND9WLU&v=Saz0FrMvlq8&feature=player_detailpage#t=6

To Celtic, No juicer from me, somewhere along the line there might be a book, probably called: Joe Cross Saved My Life.
but I have invented a piece of exercise equipment, I took a patent out on it last year, it's called The Stretch Specific.

Lightweight and highly portable (The kind of thing that sells by the million on shopping channels) Guarantees that no injury is caused by lack of a warm up in any form of sport. A ten minute workout on this piece of equipment will keep anyone (regardless of their age) in condition.

It can perform most of the exercises associated with a ski cross trainer, but the whole piece of equipment weighs less than 6lb. and when manufactured will sell for less than £15. (Truly a working man's price)

If there are any sports orientated entrepreneurs out there who want a piece of the action, private message me.

Whoever is interested will have to put in some spade work in turning out a viral, preferably with a well fit young lady (possibly a celebrity) putting the equipment through its paces. (I'm not being sexist, that's the way these things are sold)

The range of exercises the Stretch Specific is capable of producing is quite unique and its portability and price make it a sure fire winner. Any mover and shaker, with some sort of a track record in sport, who's willing to take a punt on an original idea, could develop a handsome income.

I was there in Paddington Street, when Dave Prowse, (Darth Vader) was starting out, selling Bullowrkers, he and his four assistants couldn't pack and post them quickly enough. Dave made a small fortune then - this kind of item is always in demand. (Dave endorsed the bullworker and had a franchise from the parent company)

All the best,  Sid Harris   El Sid.

To Kinboshi.  This takes up close and personal to a new level. I haven't been monitoring my excrement and urination levels as, real life doesn't give me the time. However, there are some interesting facts knocking about on how much waste our bodies secrete.

The average fellow passes approx. 120 gallons of urine a year as opposed to secreting approx 60 gallons of sweat. The big eye opener is that we produce 20 gallons of tears a year which evaporate into the atmosphere after they have stopped our eyes from drying out.

As for excrement the average for a human being is 1lb of crap a day, this sounds innocuous until you multiply it by the 7 billion, or so, people on earth, In essence the human race is producing over 22 billion tons of crap a year, this makes my contribution hardly worth thinking about.

While on the subject of crap, I will re-post something I wrote on the Camel's thread " Things I wish I knew" It was in connection with the weight of crap.

Crap is light and due to the time space continuum will get lighter as time goes on. You will note that their are more floaters than there used to be as gravity slowly loses its power. Crap weighs less in the Arctic than in the Antarctic

The Germans are highly interested in crap, they like to join their wives in the Schmidthous to watch the proceedings and evaluate the outcome. The Japanese have invented a small underwater camera fixed inside the toilet base which shows each new piece of crap leaving the body and plummeting down into the water - This piece of equipment is available on E Bay and is known as Kami Carzy Anus Zoom; don't buy one secondhand.

My dad used to tell the most wonderful crap jokes the following one was my favourite as a kid: A guy is sitting on a bus and asks the fellow next to him "Have you just shit?" The fellow replies, "Yes!" - " Well why don't you get off the bus? - The fellow replied, "I haven't finished yet."

I suggest you buy a set of digital scales - they will show the difference.

All the best,  El Sid    Sid Harris.

[poggered]

To Marky and Red Dog,

Firstly to Marky, so absolutely pleased that you have bought a juicer and hope that within a few days on the green stuff etc. you  feel a major difference in your well being. (The dark green leaves on spring green are brilliant at the moment to produce the elixir you need.)

The amazing side effect with juicing is the surge of optimism that it brings with it. I would like to do a clinical trial with one hundred pessimists, on juice, and see if the glass is half full or half empty at the end of a fortnight.

To Red Dog, There are a lot of fancy notions as to the origin of the word poggerred. It just so happens that the earliest use of the word was in the village of Stoke Poges in the thirteenth century.

A knight of the realm Robert Pogeys had married the heiress of the parish, Amicia of Stoke - Within a few months of the nuptials Robert Pogeys developed the clap - he went to a well known apothecary of the time - Basil Renshaw at the Cock Marsh Tavern.

Renshaw gave Sir Robert the bad news, it was definitely the clap. The distraught knight begged Renshaw to keep the matter to himself as it would interfere with his favourite past time which was whoring.

Renshaw administered a well known cure of the time (which is too dangerous to mention here, as anyone reading this who has contracted the clap might decide to try it in an attempt to avoid the embarrassment of visiting their GP.)

Rensahw's cure was short lived and Sir Robert succumbed to all manner of scabs and the like, in fact he became totally parashivik. It prompted Amicia his wife, the original carrier of the filthy disease, who showed no outward signs of the malady, to abandon him, her final words to Sir Robert Pogey's were, "You are of no further use to me Sir, you are truly poggered."

Next time you are in Buckinghamshire, visit Stoke Poges, as they are all conversant with this story in the ale houses.

All the best,   Sid Harris,  El Sid.

To Marky, you will only appreciate your digestive system in retrospect, once it's poggered all manner of strange things will happen to you in the crap department. Some aliments are reversible but many aren't.

There are millions of silent sufferers, men in particular, of all manner of illness.

Watch a few Jay Kordich videos on youtube and give him a chance to convince you. If you take the standpoint of "Nobody can convince me of anything". Someday (propably today) you might miss out on some interesting information that could enhance your life.

You could easily say that Kordich has always had the agenda of selling juicing machines, but we all have an agenda. Arms  and drugs dealers (local or international) have a dangerous agenda - I would suggest that anyone promoting a healthier lifestyle has something approaching a worthwhile agenda. 

The lazy man's way of getting the message across, let a couple of experts do it for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL7YKya_R1ROttKvb5rhpMxi3BbUrrpK26&v=xGyf27CocxM&feature=player_detailpage&t=4

All the best Sid Harris   El Sid