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121  Community Forums / The Lounge / Re: Tales from the Tube on: September 01, 2010, 04:56:47 PM
Now Jamie and I were in Miami on business and I never write about business other than I would like to say a big thank you to all at Systemax for such a great trip. Respect!

Outside of work there was much to observe on our trip. As this is Tales from the Tube I think we should make a comparison with Miami’s transport system. It is called the taxi. Bright yellow taxis that never seemed to be wherever we happened to end up. It was very frustrating, especially as the rest of our trip was such tremendous fun!

By day three it was sending me crazy!  Boiling heat, steam off the pavement and no air conditioned taxi on hand. The thing is when they turned up the taxi drivers were great. In fact all the people we met were just so hospitable and naturally friendly They were both interested in where we were from and interesting in their own right. From Sergio who gave us the run down on the Dolphins, the Marlins, the Heat, in fact the whole sporting spectrum, through to Pablo who took us to the nightclub on Friday night they knew their city, the people, and the problems.

We were in Miami for three nights and having got my dutiful father shopping out of the way at A&F on the Wednesday night, Thursday saw Jamie and I heading to the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood to the north of Miami. The casino is on a Seminole Indian reservation and resembles any large casino complex. As the taxi is pulling in we notice Hooters. Now this is Jamie’s first visit to the U.S. and I have never been to  Hooters so where to eat was an easy decision. It was great. The food was good. The view was excellent. One can’t help but wonder what would happen if the concept was brought into the U.K. You know take the whole concept out of the U.S. and bang it into Luton. The poor girls would not survive five minutes. I fear that some ideas do not travel.

After eating I confess I found the poker room. Jamie went to drink Saki and I settled in for exactly one hour at a $1 $2 no limit hold em table. Hand two, I pick up a pair of Kings which on a King high flop got the obligatory one non believer to my stinky little, I can steal this pot, bet. The poker in itself was unremarkable but my fellow players were truly remarkable.

I am in seat two and either side of me I have a grizzled old man who spoke in a dialect that could only have been translated by the assistant coach in the film the Waterboy. The guy on my right kept talking to me but it was like British Gas talking to Tightend. I was getting one word in five and tried to work out what the rest of the sentence might have been. Judging by the reaction to my responses I was probably getting a mark of four out of ten for my effort.

Hour up. I get up from the table with polite smiles, tip the dealer and go to find Jamie who is trying out his best Hugh Grant on some young ladies from one of the cruise ships. Well I soon put a stop to that....or maybe it was because their taxi turned up. Either way the result was the same the girls left and Jamie and I headed for the hotel. Knowing that tomorrow is Friday night and the chains will be off has led to a sensible Thursday night. Ah Friday night, my head thumps just thinking about it.
Until next time please remember smoking in the toilets is against the law.


122  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 30, 2010, 06:27:18 PM
Add one to my monthly total please your royal chompiness
123  Community Forums / The Lounge / Re: Tales from the Tube on: August 30, 2010, 10:27:49 AM
Wow! which one is which?  Roll Eyes

Great pennage Mr S.

Anyway, how have you been my old saus... er, kosher meat product?

There are of course kosher sausages, then there are spicy Vienna sausages.....all beef based.

i am very well sir....I have pmed you.
124  Community Forums / The Lounge / Re: Tales from the Tube on: August 30, 2010, 08:06:37 AM
Jamie Brown
125  Community Forums / The Lounge / Re: Tales from the Tube on: August 30, 2010, 07:40:34 AM
Hmmmm Nicholas cage?
126  Community Forums / The Lounge / Re: Tales from the Tube on: August 30, 2010, 07:28:17 AM
Fellow Tubesters apologies for the break in posts. As I write this I am sitting in the lounge at Miami International airport. Tired. Hungover. Ready to come home. My word though, we had some excitement on the way out. Everything was going pretty smoothly. I am travelling with my brilliant and charismatic colleague Jamie Brown (I think my original entry may have been doctored) and we had settled in our seats in the back row of the plane. Now dear reader let me tell you this, on an American Airlines flight an exaggerated English accent is a must have accessory. It just works and even at this early part of our trip Jamie and I are practicing accents that are cross between Roger Moore and Hugh Grant. Actually mine is becoming more and more like Russell Grant.

Well we are getting on famously with the lovely stewardesses. We are in cattle class and it is a little cramped as the flight is full. No problem you just have to get on with it. Any way the drinks get served and we hit our first lot of turbulence. Coffee on the nice white shirt. Marvellous. Then we get our ravioli lunch. Well the shirt really didn’t stand a chance. Then as I am drinking my after lunch coffee yet again we the dreaded air pocket and my shirt gets its third stain. I am now looking like an advert for Persil.

Well the flight progresses and we are chatting to the stewardesses and one of them is telling me about how I should get my thyroid checked as it might be the cause of my weight issues.....we are not going back to weight loss stories I promise. The flight is nine and a half hours and I am going through the movies one at a time. I have just finished my third movie when the lead stewardess comes up to Jamie and myself and says “we have a problem and wonder if you guys would help”.
“Of course!” say our British heroes coming to the aid of our American damsel in distress.

Well it boils down to there being a very drunk Brit on board (no surprise there) who the last time he came up to the galley had become abusive when refused a drink. If we see the gentleman in his thirties wearing a pink shirt, shorts and flip flops heading towards the galley could we go and join the party just in case. For some reason there is no Air Marshall on this flight.

Well about two hours out from Miami sure enough Mr. Pink Shirt totters up the aisle towards us. Jamie (six foot one, handsome, looks a bit like Nicholas Cage.......oh come on!!!! Please see attached photo of Jamie in Hooters) and yours truly get up and basically block the entrance to the galley whilst holding the most superbly inane conversation about the merits of standing up during the journey. Well pink shirt is shooting dagger like looks at us both and eventually asks to pass us to go and ask for a drink. I step into the galley and pink shirt asks for a drink and gets politely declined. He is about to make something of it when he looks round and sees Jamie and I smiling at him. He turns on his heel and just for a second I think he is going to kick off but he sits back down. Good boy.

Well he doesn’t move again but when he arrives at Miami he gets escorted by six of Miami Dade’s finest law enforcement officers. Our reward for our help, nothing but smiles and the good feeling of giving somebody a positive impression of our nation’s people.
Until my next post.... When the seatbelt lights are lit please do not get up from your seat .
127  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 28, 2010, 01:32:02 PM
3 hours quality sleep. For some reason my head hurts............quite a bit. I am too old for this. Lager, tequila, jd and coke, and a massive glass of something that looked and tasted like a blue slush puppy with prodigious amounts of alcohol seem to have scrambled my ability for coherence.drinking is stupid. That is all. Right now 3 for the month. Plus a nice cash win at the hard rock casino miami. Good night
128  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 28, 2010, 07:28:26 AM
Drunk in Miami. It's got nothing to do with poker so I thought I would post it here. Of course it has got even less to do with "uton. But I am in Mia nightclub in downtown miami and it is awesome
129  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 24, 2010, 02:55:52 PM
Yes good luck Chomps. How many left etc etc?


tikay, how many did you beat to win in Cardiff? well done

More than 13, if I include myself.

you didn't win it
it was a gift from me to you .,.,10j my arse

fairplay to the old Ginger git tony had 2,000
and grinder to victory well done

I was unlucky I ran 45 suited  into kkk
no not the klu klux Klan
nice to see you lastnight,.,.ditch the man bag IMHO

You are just so right
130  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 22, 2010, 03:11:19 PM
Fuck it I got a splinter!
131  Poker Forums / Live poker / Re: Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread on: August 18, 2010, 05:37:15 PM
It was most unusual. He had taken a number of outdraws during the evening and was pretty fed up.
I don't think anybody at the table could quite believe it.

I actually thought at first I had misheard him, well until I looked at the chomps gobsmacked expression.

what happens to the fantasy league points if he is banned.
Surely he would just come in and apologise.....................
132  Poker Forums / Live Tournament Updates / Re: GUKPT Luton: The Final on: August 15, 2010, 06:54:06 PM
For the 139th time today,the announcement that we cant wear what we like in the casino from monday blares over the tannoy

Regs here like myself dont understand why not tbh

The reason is quite simple. Because then they would be treating us as adults.
133  Poker Forums / Live Tournament Updates / Re: GUKPT Luton: The Final on: August 15, 2010, 12:28:29 PM
Gooooooooooooooooooo

George White
134  Poker Forums / Live Tournament Updates / Re: GUKPT Luton Day 2 on: August 15, 2010, 08:43:46 AM
I really enjoyed the updates guys great effort!

C'mon George White!!!!!
I have also played aginst Ade at the old Gutshot. "He has a lot of class............................."
Regulars should know the rest of the sentence.
135  Poker Forums / Live Tournament Staking / Re: Stake me for free. SOLD OUT on: August 14, 2010, 09:11:02 PM
I agree, spin up please
+1
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