Been a bit quiet in here lately. You boys on holiday ?

DEAR NEIGHBOUR:

Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.

Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

Regards

Richard

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Checker had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.

Taskmaster still providing real laugh out loud moments.

.

<3 Gooseberries.

While were on the subject of food, why can't I find proper vanilla/custard slices any more?

I can't even find a good picture of one.






A proper vanilla slice has a layer of very flaky pastry, a ridiculously thick layer of vanilla custard, another layer of  very flaky pastry, and a layer of white, sticky bun type icing, and that's it.

There should be no other type of pastry, no middle layer of pastry, no jam, no fresh cream, no synthetic cream, no pink icing, no half strawberries, no dusting of icing sugar, and no fancy schmancy patterns drawn on top.

Oh and they should be oblong, not square.

Like this ?

A word to the wise.

Never, repeat never take Mrs Red to IKEA.

It's not that she buys much, but she wants to look at everything.

Twice.

My wife has a similar problem with Victoria's Secret

Pictures or it never happened.

 

By their very nature, and like their namesake, grub-screws live down holes with their heads below the surface, there is no way to get a hold of them so I had to drill it out.

Click to see full-size image.

Always a bugger to use a drill flush to a wall,invariably drill at an angle.You did good.

I've always known then as "scraps". Jolly nice they are too. I've not seen then for years though.

It is a Northern thing.   They are available in my local chippie when I go "home", but you never see them down here.  Guess if people asked for them, they would save them here too.

Not just a Northern thing. Scraps , or crispy bits, are very popular in the Eastern Counties.

Said about as much there as Tikay has on his diary since he got back from Vegas  

Diary will resume before Brexit happens.

Call.

Edit.. Marky beat me to it.

In the same way that Hitler was pretty naughty.

What a shithouse, and then tries acting like he's done nothing wrong

Love the fake muck, sneaky peak, scowl at the dealer as if he is the scumbag hatrick. 

Shame it wasn't Barry Neville sat next to him

Is he in the BITB stable?

https://clips.twitch.tv/ObedientSleepyKathyKlappa

That was a bit shitty.

high blood sugar and a fat belly is bad

Is one out of two OK?

that's for the wife to decide

Oh don't trouble your wife, it's not that important.

 

Very much enjoyed your tale of mower disassembly.

RIP Bury. Desperate stuff.

Very Sad.

Woodsey is blessed.