The scene is a Glasgow  court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD)


 
AD 'You say you went to your friends house that night.  Why did you go?there?'
 
WITNESS 'Tae get a tap.'

AD 'Is your friend a plumber?'
 
WITNESS 'Naw.'

AD 'Are you a plumber?'
 
WITNESS 'Naw.'
 
The witness is a bit bewildered by this line of questioning and the AD realises it, but notices that the court police officer is rubbing his fingers of one hand together in the universal gesture of money.  Daylight apparently dawns on the AD and he changes his line of questioning accordingly.
 
AD 'So you went to the house to borrow money?'
 
WITNESS 'Naw.'
 
AD 'Ah. You went to the house to lend money?'

WITNESS 'Naw.'

In exasperation the AD says, 'You told the court you went to your friend's? house for a tap.  What kind of a tap was it?'.


WITNESS .......'A Sellick tap.' 

Spot on l iked it bandit
the glasgow patter is lost on most poeple ...but it is got to be admired as we can understand it and the english patter when most cant  ;-}
so who is the got the most intellegence 

Neil Lennon has re-joined celtic with immeadiate effect as asst coach................

Next Celtic Manager?

Love it ...... No coaching skills from fifa or even a module from belfast college in sports . I Do respect him as a player but what can he teach anyone at c*lt*c how to  pass a ball 10 yards after holding it for 2 secs . All I think he his brought in for is to get the fans back on wee gingers side . Its all about restoring pride in a fan base that is turning against a manager that has brought them to the best europe standings and 2 league titles in a row

I wouldn't go as far as say he cost us the game as you guys know how to build a fortress in front of your own goal

However telling me he got more wrong doesn't encourage me to say he wasn't as bad as i thought and he shouldn't be punished for having a very bad game.

The 16th should bring more of our doubters back onside.

Sandy

Got to agree sandy all bad refs should be punished but we dont get told if they do or dont
The standard of refs is shocking and there is nothing we can do about it
Let an english ref come up and take the blame that would be fun lol

Got to admit after the game we played crap and so did celtic while we took our chance they didnt . You cant blame Dougal as he bottled out of all the big decisions ..... Thomson should of been of the park , Not a penalty as Brown had a clear goal scoring chance , naylor mcgeady and brown should of seen a second yellow but didnt so swings and roundabouts . Truth be told its not over yet still got 2 old firm games to go and with all the extra games its going to be hard .. BRILLIANT  not had it like this for a while :-}

Well you got to admit in one of the best seasons for years everone is giving the old firm a hard time
And its not just going to be down to who wins the old firm clashes as the rest have realy up the anti to make it a good one . Or is it both are playing pants lol
It doesnt matter who wins on the 2nd i think we are both going to drop points and all the better for a hard season
Still we welcome the chase lol

RIP Phil
Phil was a great player with heart and soul going into every game he played . For a young man at 35 to pass away like that and being so fit is a tragedy to the
whole of football and even more to his family and freinds .
With Motherwell playing so good at the present time i hope what phil done for the club can inspire the rest of the team to motovate themself for the
rest of the season . For him that would be the best tribute they could do for him
My heart goes out to all the fans , players , freinds and family . Things like this should never happen
You will be missed

thanks all i had a great time over the weekend
thats me just sobered up and stopped shaking to type ... cheers all

The wallet analogy is a nonsense one... it is nothing like this situation.

At the end of the day, the reluctant player got a right result in getting any sort of deal ... And if he had got dealt aces and the other bloke kings and they limped in and hit a flop of AAK would he have checked it down and carried on pleading ...

Plus ... what would happen if the other guy had a chat ban or didnt use chat ?

He sat at the table of his own free will and got his arse singed .. he was damn lucky he didnt get it burnt beyond recognition.

I am with Kev on this one if it was a matter of stupidity or any other scenario then they have to go with it

this guy says he has only 800 to give out in the account and it is his account , then he is either lying or someone is chip dumping or he is in big chit with big people hehe

The way i see it is if you register for a game you have to click more than 1 button so you have to go with your actions
If it was myself playing him and he begged to get out of the game i would of said

"They all do mate" LOL 

Did you get a reg code ?
I if not PM  me and i'll give you  one a code

Aww mate, what a wee smasher, However, Name DOB and weight would be nice, Grats on becoming a daddy.

Hi mate
LOL might of known every detail just to keep it on the record for tells hehe

1 Thomson ( before you ask that was my grandads first name )
2 30/05/2007
3 6lb 14 and born at 6.14   hmmmm weird   ( thank god said the missus said he wasnt born at 12.15  ouch )
4 thank you very much

Say hello to little RFC

Sorry ive not been here for a while but ive had a good reason
And I think it has been worth it 

Very apt post this is on today of all days... It would be my dad's 57th today, however he passed away a good few years ago.

Miss you like anything dad

Well said amcgrathuk
dads are a thing to be respected and loved no mater what they have done
Mines passed away last year and love him still but life goes on  no mater how what chit that happens  so read my next thread and you will know

lol hanger13 what a shithole that was, theyd turn off the taps in the toilet so ud buy a £4 quid bottle of water no wonder people died there.

Yip it was but all the good allnighters was there before anyone would try it and put on the up and comeing bands like admaski before anyone
heard of them

I used to do all the promotions and the buses to The metro in saltcoats ( which was the main place to go when it all started )
went to all the raves including the very first in Glasgow city at the tramway
the best ones was at prestwick airport during the bells at hogmany
also done a few raves at the baralands called   TECHNOTRANCE
Had groups like QFX ( still listen to the album ) dream frequency and T.T.F
But the best song is     ..  LOVE FOR SALE ..  DO YOU FEEL SOMETHING

Also im in the Ultrasonic video made at Hanger 13

This is not fair just put the missus name in and it came up .... no pages were found

I dont think she is boring at all 

"keli likes to"

can anyone get smoething for her