Wow, I'm glad Jen's told everyone how much I make. I want to make it clear that that one day at Tottenham Court Road is not a good representation... Has she told you how bad beginner's banjo sounds? The cat says hello, by the way, in her own special unconscious way.

Oh cool, that would be great, everyone thinks I'm actually Bruce Campbell. Although maybe I kind of like that... No, I'll email you a picture tomorrow or something if my brother lets me play with his computer. Cheers.

I couldn't work out how to put a picture of me on there and Bruce Campbell was the best I could do with the sorry collection of minor celebrities provided on the site. I'll put a happy face at the end of my posts from now on though, to show good will. Like this. 

But since you're offering, chip counts are lovely. Anyone I've heard of will do.

Oh dear, I seem to have caused a scene. Just dropped in to say, you know, hi. I like your website though.

Hello Ironside. I can put on a funny accent, lay-eek zees, eef eet may-eek me sound francaise

Hi, first time caller, long time listener. Just to say I'm such a fan of the Djinn show, I tune in every night. Keep up the good work!

Love and kisses,

Danafish.

Oops, meant to specify that that was for the eyes of my friend Djinn but I guess she's off hobnobbing with the Poker Stars. I'm actually a lady, if that makes you feel better, I'm not actually Bruce Campbell

Coo-ee, I have MSN messenger newly installed on my elderly laptop, why don't we give it a spin? I ate too much.

Oh... I sent you many happy returns... I don't think your cool poker friends like me so I'm going to go now. Will try to work out that flashy messenger lark, but feel free to call...

That's not true, John said you won $1300 playing strip poker with a trained chicken. I'll take that, I guess, and I think Bodeans would be glad to relieve you of the trained chicken. Have you been getting my text messages? Should I stop sending them?

Oh, it's a very special cat, it can read minds...

Actually, I forgot that people who aren't Djinn might look at this. Pretend I'm invisible, or Bruce Campbell.

I may be in touch about that takeaway, though

I HAVE THE CAT STOP I WILL KILL HER STOP DELIVER ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING TO BODEANS RESTAURANT SOHO STOP AH FULL STOP

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DJINNNNNNNN

Love and kisses from Bruce Campbell.

xxx