Don't be apologising Denis, there are a lot of people who understand where you are coming from. The hurt and emptiness will always be with you in some form but you will get better at dealing with it in time. Don't beat yourself up at all and let yourself feel what you feel. Like others, my mum passed on a few years ago and the pain is still unbearable at times but I'm here despite it and so are you and the others who have been kind enough to share their own sorrow. Just keep going right now. x