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1  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: September 19, 2022, 05:42:24 PM
TRUE STORY

When i was about nine years of age my family lived in a big old house between two villages in Norfolk called Grimston and Gayton i along with 4 to 5 bothers and sisters were playing by the large iron gates to the drive way when a well dressed man with a school kid of about 12 years of age appeared out of nowhere ,as we did not see a stranger from one week to the next at our secluded location this was a rare event indeed.


The well dressed gent asked if our father was around to which three of us hollered...dad a man wants you and he promptly turned up the man had a chat with my dad and they whent into the house to fetch something leaving the well dressed school kid with us for a short time , seeing the posh school uniform this lad had on one of my older brothers said to him ...what school do you go to mate....to which he replied   I dont go to school around here...another brother replied to that with his opinion which was ...Stuck up git...the posh lad looked relieved when just then my dad and the well dressed man returned with a large jug of water which had two handles on it for carrying purposes.

My dad said to me to take the other handle of the posh man and help him carry the water up to a car that was 4 to 5 hundred yards up the road from our front drive which i did feeling proud that my dad had chosen me over my older brothers as i was the largest and strongest of the brothers even though two of them were older....small victories get them where you can.
At the car the posh dressed man helped my dad to put the water in the car radiator and offered to leave the jug with them to drop of at the local garage when they were passing but the man said that was alright he felt they had enough to get home, then my dad was talking to some one in the back of the car thru the open window and he called me over, i was by now itching to get back to my group of brothers as i felt they would be having more fun than i climbing trees and such like, so i went over to the window and in the back of the car was a lady with the posh school kid sitting beside her ...Hello whats your name the lady asked ...tom i replied....well thank you very much for helping your father carrying the water for my car Thomas the lady said ...thats alright i replied and my dad sent me back to the driveway of our house.....

A week or two later my family got a invite to the Sandringham village fete...it turns out that the posh lady was the chair person of the village committee and this was her thank you to us.


2  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: September 17, 2022, 12:33:02 PM
SO ON TO COVENTRY FOR FAME AND FOURTUNE....................YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE A LAD AND AT THE DISCO YOU LOOK AT THE PRETTY GIRL AND PLUCK UP THE COURAGE TO GO AND CHAT TO HER ....and on the way over to her some jack the lad who pulls loads of girls seemlessley gets there before you.......well at least you had a chance ....you had a shot ....you were half a degree away from mission acumpleshed......not so coventry no traction or cards and the only shot i had i will now describe...
my starting stack is down from 25k to about 13k .....we are all aware of the line of 300 plus players snaked thru the casino waiting to join the alternates so re buying is not a sensible option let alone the cost another 250.....
i am the big blind at say hree  six six...i havent looked at my cards yet ,and the two guys to my left are foostering around with there food and drinks orders not paying attention to the game ,...i see teddy at the table opposite who has been holding court like a mini celeb as he whent deep ion reading for 20k odd ...he is standing up for the extra 2% as he is all in and called so its do or die for him im looking over to him to see his facial reaction of doom or glory as the cards on his table roll out ...then i hear the dealer on my table saying 600 to you i look down at kings ...now to gret paid ,when you have got en bet em ...i declare all in ...no problem ...if i go out with kings so be it go down fighting i say...................................... the dealer declares bet out of turn the two lads foostering with there food havent acted yet or the rest of the table ....floor called im held to non agressive action ...guy in seat two wants more penalties on me which he fails to get ....nice prick...the players in the hand fold lioke dominos to seat four who makes it 1600 i call the flop comes king queen nine with two hearts he checks i go all in he passes showing ace jack suited and says he would have raised and called when i whent all in so my mistake has costed me my double up ....seat two still mumbleing about why there should be more penalties...even bigger prick ....and i win the min....

waisted eventualey leaving the club i see DINA dealing with the head of the 300 rebuy que i but in to say ....HI DINA BY DINA IM OFF...she replies smileingley and like every eighth man in the que i wonder ......if i lost a load of weight got a personal trainer a six pack had some minor cosmetic touch ups plus hair implants and teath done whent to colledge to get some class education with a laungauge learnt or two ....plus win 10 million on the lottery would i have the balls to ask dina if she has a younger sister ........
which has the longest odds me winning goliath or dinas make belive sister ......


im off to luton for the 250 at 4.00pm last of the day ones price pool looking to be 75k to 95k ..........one shot jonny thats me ,

YEA HAAAAA
3  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: August 31, 2022, 11:08:51 PM
.....So here we are again not surprising, I've just got in from tpub and have decided to treat my adoring pubic...

I think I last posted here at the start of Covid, so I'll a bit disjointed and I'll just jump in and start with some ramblings... About six or nine months ago, I've into Luton G and it's like a reunion of all the old faithful Blonde Poker wannabees, there's Gavin, still trying to sell, hooky coffees of Debbie does Dallas DVD's and he with the stripey jumpers (standard) plus Dean, he with the muscular physique, with arms that look like John Holmes best asset and there with them is the guyser that sodded off to Malta or Gibraltar and try as I might, I just can't remember his name... I know or I think I know, that he is Scottish, or Welsh, one of those far flung places where you don't like your school kids mixing with them in the school yard, because of the certainty of picking up bad habits. But there I am, saying hi, to this one or that one, obviously all the Blonde poker bods have all text each other, for a meet up and i can't remember his bloody name....................................................................................
but then a stroke of luck, just as I was considering, is this the onset of senile dementia, hes turns his head and I see he has got a burger bun with about two portions of mum's go to iceland chicken strips (deep fried) and he is munching on it with glee whilst still talking to his chums and like a shaft of light his name came to me... it was Vinnie.... he might be from the Isle of Wight actually.

Now, more up to date, at Luton G the rake for competitions is getting out of order, ok they are a business, not a charity, but they will choke the whole poker scene and then wonder, where's everyone gone!

On a lighter note, Mr and Mrs Phan are still spanking the one-arm-bandits all though we here about their winnings, not the other side of the coin.

Good news, Teddy got a very decent circa £20K in a GUKPT event, everyone genuinely happy for the guy, me included, although the line from the hit song... it should have been me... does go through my mind, but then I never entered that competition.

Now for a bang up to date, tomorrow, Thursday 1st of September, I'm off to the Goliath for 12pm for my shot at poker immortality. I will be rubbing shoulders with punters decrying that they did three bullets the first time and then two bullets the following day and now they are at the last gasp saloon with me and only the turbo on Friday if they don't get through today............................................................and there I'll be with my one entry like Madonna being a Virgin touched for the very first time here to do business.

So that's what I'm doing tomorrow.....

IFANYONESGOTANYGOODDOGGINGSITESBETWEENSTALBANSANDCOVENTRYPLEASEWASHYOURHANDSBEFOREYOUSITDOWNTOPLAYATMYTABLE.
4  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: August 31, 2022, 10:28:43 PM
IM BACK OR AM I........
5  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: February 05, 2022, 02:39:21 PM
WHEN YOU SEE A WILD LIFE PROGRAM IT IS EASY TO IMAGINE YOURSELF AS THE SOARING EAGLE OR FAST RUNNING CHEETAH BRINGING ITS SUPPER DOWN .....OR THE DUNG BEETLE ROLLING ITS ORB OF DUNG THRU THE FOREST

Planned to go out and get wasted...........................................................success
planned to go to the vic for £1250 comp..................................................success
planned to get thru to day two ..............................................................fail

there is little that i can say about my performance other than card dry and like a ice cream on a hot pavement melting away until every one is treading on it without a thought.......in poker vernacular .....in order to live you have to be prepared to die....before your chips are so low every one is using you as a slap head from a Benny hill sketch

sad boo hoo shame oh if only and other crap

luton g 115 plus 15 sunday 4.00pm make a change from the vic.....dont suppose the two beggars that i gave a quid to each do refunds.....

IF YOU TAKE THE O OUT OF GOOD YOU HAVE GOD....IF YOU TAKE THE D OUT OF DEVIL YOU HAVE EVIL...........IF YOU TAKE THE L OUT OF BOLLOCKS YOU HAVE BOLOCKS

what do you call a spider with no legs......................you dont waste your time calling it its not going to come to you its got no legs



next blog to be more up beat and of a more cheerful nature....






























...or am i bluffing
6  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: February 03, 2022, 05:48:49 PM
 FAILURE TO PLAN IS TO PLAN TO FAIL
So the plan was to go to the vic and gain some £££ whether in cash as per the pot limit omaha or the later satellite the journey up there on the train was uneventful only one lady beggar on the tube and i wanted to give her a coin but she didnt have a paper cup and moved on swiftly also i knew that i had only notes.....opportunity to bribe the good karma fairies lost thinking i hope that dousnt come back to bite me in the ass,out side the edgeware tube and i take some selfies to put on the family app ...just my head with what ever land mark in the back ground a sort of wheres wally collection ....pass a girl beggar outside argos she looks about 20 and has three scabs on her face that look like she has attempted to put a belly bar into her chin and they have gone infected....some ones daughter ,sister,loved one, and now a bundle on the pavement as i walk by not breaking my stride looking as if it dousnt affect me but inside the injustice smarts.

Into the vic and i see a luton reg who tells me he has a problem with his entry as they are telling him he has applied to be suspended or similar which he has not .....seems like he has been caught up in the red tape of proving that you are not money laundering this subject is a source of gossip around the poker table  and being asked to provide bank statements to prove you can afford to gamble many players find intrusive....as do i expect the nose candy beauticians......

and into the poker events in the omaha there were two occasions where i should have shoved but because my holdings were so poor i waited for a better opportunity.....end result omaha £200 bye bye hope you enjoy......
hold em satilite got it all in with KK on the big blind for qq TO SHAG ME ON THE RIVER    the game was like a whos who of luton regs with andy,das,baby face johnson qand others i dont know the names of ,so im for the home wood journey just gone midnight and i still catch a tube ,my luck must be in....

PLAN YOUR ACTION ACTION YOUR PLAN
I am of up the pub to get wasted thursday night ...walking not driving...then 10.00am on the train TO THE VIC FOR THE BIG ONE
EAT SLEEP RAVE REPEAT

the good thing is when you shoot black bart in the gun fight at the okay coral he dousent know its your last bullet
see you there

if i make the feature table i shall hold up some felt tip pen messages for my loyal pubic

SO BABY JESUS GET YOUR THINGERS OUT OF YOUR ARSSE AND TOMORROW WHEN I ASK FOR JUST ONE TIME BLOODY WELL LISTEN

7  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: February 01, 2022, 02:40:28 PM
A GREAT ACTION FILM SHOULD START WITH A EARTHQUAKE TRAVEL THRU SOME OF THE MOST EXOTIC WORLD LOCATIONS WITH THE HUNKY HERO DRAGGING SOME DROP DEAD GORGEOUS BRAINY HEAVING CHEST ENDOWED SEMI VIRGIN, WHO IS JUST READY FOR THE RIGHT MAN TO MAKE HER FEEL WHOLE HAVING KILLED A COUPLE OF HAND FULLS OF BAD ASS HENCH MEN ON THE WAY THEN END WITH SAME HERO SAVING MAN KIND FROM A METEOR THE SIZE OF THE ROCK OF MALTA THAT IS HURTLING TOWARDS EARTH TO WIPE OUT MANKIND AND START A NEW ICE AGE ALL OF WHICH WHILE BEING VOICED OVER BY MORGAN FREEMAN.

So not unlike my last period of desperate thrashing about at the vic,in no particular order the story to date.....
having been up and down to the vic on the train like a perv visiting soho in the sixties with the hope to gain satellite domination the expenditure has been spent the anguish has been tasted and we are now down to the final plan....

the vic 4.00pm Wednesday play the 200 pot limit omaha treat it like a satellite to get poker credit....then the later satellite for the main event ....not forgetting to smash 10 quid on roulette,you never know lightning may strike twice....
then the main event on Friday for which i have a ticket.......
post here all the glorious results.....or not and go back to wondering when the luton g may hold a poker game where a punter can win over 1000....and plan the next gukpt assault on coventry.

i am so determined to win the main event i am going to put on some new under pants for that all round feeling of being ready for anything.

IMAYNOTLOOKLIKEASLEEKTOPPERFORMANCERACEHOURSETHATCOSTSMILLIONSANDWINSATALLTHETOPEVENTSANDMYPOOPWILLNOTHELPYOURROSESBUTINPOKERIAMALEGEND

8  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: January 25, 2022, 03:26:27 PM
MORE TALES OF THE WANDERING NEW BORN AGAIN POKER WANNABEE.

Again in no particular order, was up at The Vic and got blown out of the satellite so had time to walk up to speakers corner where all the holy book bashes all try to debate each other and then edit the film they've taken to show that they have won the debate. It was a Sunday and the little Turkish lady that bashes the drum for baby Jesus was there and had a man of the other book that she was enlightening, this is the same lady that some shithead had tried to stab to death at speakers corner........and there she was still doing what she believes........if ever i get a poker team together, she can have a place.

Yesterday, Monday, went early to The Vic so had Mcdonalds to kill time. Chicken chili wrap, fries, latte £3.89 I think, sort of compensates you for the fact that you know the food is absolute gunk. Sat in the window seat all skewiff as the stool is bolted to the floor and not for the more relaxed muscular athletic build like me, okay cards on their backs...fat.

So into the game, bugger me, I'm hitting some good stuff. 10,000 chips I've got kings all in against ace king, king on the flop, nice. Next hand I've got queens, I make it four hundred to play, chummy on my left makes it twelve hundred, I make it 32 hundred and he goes all in........sod it if he's got ace king and gets lucky, I've still got me starting stack. I call, he's got aces...queen on the flop and he's gone with good grace and banter.

Now I've got 30 odd thousand and strangely enough a couple of the other players are attacking my stack, so when I make it six hundred with ace nine suited, they make it 21 hundred and I pass....clever little chappies and surely enough later on I snap one of them off, when I do the same with kings........deep joy.

Made the final table, five seats worth £1250 each and £500 voucher for sixth place and I'm the lowest stack. Great atmosphere and camaraderie from everyone, but that's not worth jack shit if you don't get a ticket, you might as well have got blown out five hours earlier........ I'm reminded of a scene from the film Roots, where the young African lad has been made up to be a warrior, this is before he gets enslaved and sold to the New America and as a young warrior, he's hanging out, talking shit, shooting the breeze with all the other warriors, because now he's one of them. So somewhat similar to being on that final table for the tickets........well who would have thought, I got a ticket! happy days £1250 what's not to like.

Out of The Vic, tube station shut as it's gone midnight and my bus to St Pancreas, the 205 goes past before i can get to the bus stop. I ask someone and they say, the 37 will take to Euston station and St Pancreas is a ten minute walk down the road. So I get onto the 37, nice driver, confirms and when I ask, does my rail ticket cover me for this, he just waves me through and agrees to tell me where to get off, which he does, which I do and a brisk ten minute walk, not being pestered by any living rough brethren, arrived at St Pancreas. On train, nice thoughts, reliving some of the winning hands. Off train, into car, into bed, smile on face........

So emboldened by this turning of the corner, I'm going back up there today, for the £240 high flyer satellite...as Caesar said "I came, I saw, I conquered!" Or as Dell Boy says "lovely jubbley!"

Little surprised there aren't more Luton Regs trying to get their snouts in the trough, Wednesday there's a £140 satellite, 7.05 pm well worth a look.

What's the difference between winning and whining? simple, people are better at whining because they have more practice.

IMAYBEANNOYINGANDSELFOPPINIOTEDANDSOMETIMESEVENIGNORANTWITHTHEINTELLECTOFANENCYCLOPEDIABRITANNICABOOKTHATHASBEENINAWASHINGMACHINEBUTYOUONLYHAVETOLISTENTOMEIHAVETOLIVEWITHMEASWELL.
9  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: January 17, 2022, 04:28:53 PM
HELLO MY HAPPY BAND OF BOTHERS, IT IS THE YIN OR YEN, THE UP OR THE DOWN, THE IN OR OUT, THE HANDFUL OF GROPING ON THAT FIRST DATE AGED SIXTEEN OR THE SLAP IN THE FACE. AS THE FAMOUS PHILOSOPHER FOREST SAID "LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES, AND YOU DON'T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET."

So our intrepid hero has been dragging his sad arse late in the day up to the Vic trying to play with the big boys, and listed below in no particular order are the ramblings of hero uno number one even if it does sound like Don Quiotte.

Edgeware road tube station, two guys with musical packs cello or similar chatting, one of them saying how he had such a skinful at some do, that when he drove home and went out the next morning, the car was 2 mm away from his garage door, how he didn't crash into it, he doesn't know. He also tells his mate of how he was driving on the motorway and came to, doing 80 mph in the fast lane late at night and he only remembers being in the middle lane doing 60 mph, all to which his mate verbally applauds........pricks........

Popped into Mcdonalds down from the Vic engaged in trying to place order on computer screen, then get accosted by the"have you got any spare change" brigade.......yes I have, loads, more than you can imagine... answer comes out, no mate.

On the tube to the Vic, saw a large guy begging and a petite, very attractive sixteenish girl with pink hair, a real head turner, give him some coin, whereupon he takes that position by her to tell everyone all that is wrong with us wearing masks and its all government conspiracy. Then tells the girl "God bless" and hops off the tube, no doubt to spread his medical knowledge and political savvy to the next lucky donor.

So like a mother I'd been playing the satellites and managed to get £636 as a fourth prize, not the full £888, but that's my fault as I played the last hand atrociously, but hey ho, £636 pays for a lot of hundred plus ten satellites. Then played by the satellites, eight tickets at £888 plus £108 for the bubble and had the deep joy of seeing the gentleman that had been nicking my blinds like it was his entitlement, blowout in royal fashion....... Blinds were 8/16k I'm the big blind, guy on my left makes it 3.2k standard, Mr Nick all Tom's blinds at every opportunity and wherever possible, comeback and do some overtime nicking my blinds goes all in for his 70k to be insta snapped off by Mr 3.2k who has kings, villain has ace king. First three cards with a king....... Sod off you Fagin blind thief.

So I got a ticket to the £888 game feeling chuffed, went down for my 2 x £5 bet on the roulette on the way out, studied the tables, looking for the one coming into the 29 black area, there it is, no. 18, I change twenty quid and put one £5 chip on 7/11 and one on 28/29.......bloody 18 comes in. So just like the scene in the godfather, where Pacino says "just when you're getting out, they drag you back in" I lay out the other  £10 on the same bet, Mr betting 100/150 a spin hasn't batted an eyelid at my actions, indeed why should he....... One of the lads and his mates from the poker game upstairs is laying out £40 per spin....... Bang! 29 black comes in, £90 for me. I asked the dealer for two blacks and put them on 29 straight up with 5 splits all round.......teeny weeny bang! 26 comes in, I repeat the bet....... Mr 110/150 a spin acknowledges me with a wry grin as I tell the other poker player "that's the bet I do or otherwise there's no point in putting the first £10 out"............. You know it, you have probably guessed already and are secretly pleased for me, 29 black came in. Two armed fist pump from me, glee from the poker lads, acknowledgement and well done with a smile from Mr 100/150 a spin and the roulette spinner looking over his shoulder to get his pit bosses attention, he goes to pay me out with several stacks of £5 chips and I tell him "that's okay, I've got to get back to the poker upstairs, cash me out".............

So one happy bunny, upstairs told a couple of poker chums the good news and got the cashier to put it on my bank card, knowing that I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning with a silly grin and think, why am I so happy, then remember, plus the satellites I managed to earn.......

IFISOUNDLIKEI'MGLOATINGITPROBABLYISBECAUSEIAMSOWHATTHEWORLDNEEDSMOREGLOUTS
10  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: January 08, 2022, 10:25:48 PM
WE COULD HAVE SOME HAM AND EGGS IF WE HAD HAM AND EGGS....
SO A NEW YEAR AND I HAVE MANAGED TO GET MY ARSE INTO THE DAY TWO FOR THE 888 POKER GIG i had managed to win a £444 TICKET IN A SATALITE AT THE VIC FOR 100 SOUNDS GOOD PROVIDING ALL THE OTHER SATALITES THAT I FAILED IN DONT GET A MENTION.....ANY WAY UP THERE YESTERDAY BY TRAIN 30,000 STARTING STACK 11X40 MINIUETES PLAY AND TRY AS I MIGHT IM GOING BACK WITH 37,00O ONLY  the blinds wioll be 2.5k/2.5k so i basicaly need to win the first hand i play.....some punters are going in with 200,000 .....lucky tossers probly live at home with mum and dont pay any rent either......
forgot to mention to the end of last year in december i think i was going up the escalator to get the tube to the vic at st pancras and i see this girl coming down the escalator beside me and she looked all the world like rajj fish only she was wearing a one piece white wool dress and not a sign of any white polka dot prints any where so i looked at her hands and there wasnt any kit kat there so clearly this one was just a lookie likey....
got on the tube to go to edgeware road and there is dina fish hanging onto the hand rail ......as we great each other and chat she tells me that it wouild have been rajj fish i passed as they had just parted after a day out in london.....i wonder to myself how did they know i was going to be there at that exact time ......i do hope they dont fall out with each other over some silly jealousey thing just because rajj fish missed talking to me.
so up to the vic sunday say 140 players me with the lowest return chips at 37,000 apart from the siccos that have already had 4 stabbs at it and buy in on the morning so i make it about my chances of coming first30 to 1 and to get to any price money 10 to 1......

WHYDOWHITEUNDERPANTSTHATYOUGOTFORXMASASAPRESENTALLDEVELOPEAMAGNOLIAPATCHATTHEFRONT
11  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: January 04, 2022, 01:06:36 AM
our genius little wanna be syco has a problem withb nsome one on the pposits platform and storms of and the next thing i seee is he is over on the next platform accosting a student that is lying down trying to get some rest on the floor .....what ever his protestess to the student are the student answers him from his prone position all of which seems to wind upmthe villian as he stomps off and picks up a yellow mind the floor plastick sign and comes back and threatens the student with it....then chucks it down feeling that he has won the battle and strides off ......but no one of the stupid cows in his inbreed tribe has followed him over picks up the yellow wet floor warning sign and wants to confront said student with ....what did you say to my friend...he the student still remains lying down and she semi kicks at his head where upon he relising that darwins theory of evolution may not prevent all the dumb ones fron evoliving gets up and after a few further words ends up smacking her down so her head hits the floor she then gets upnand starts hollering at him to ....just you dare touch me again .....clearly some misfit from care homes that knowws all the buzz words that there self entitalment leeds them to belive they have .....then the prat that started it all comes back and talks to her and drags her away ......from my ring side seat it has tacken ten miniutes of my wait for mny train as i have watched this impromto edition of east enders......

WHATDOYOUGETWHENYOUEMPTYABAGOFSELFENTITTLEDPRATTSWITHABAGOFUNDERACHIVERSOCIALWORKERSTHATSRIGHTTWOEMPTYBAGS



FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT READ THIS BLOG FOR THE INTERLECTTUAL CONTENT I APOLIGISE FOR ALL THE SPELLING MISTAKES...................FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT READ THIS BLOG FOR THE SPELLING MISTAKES YOOOUUUU CANNN FUUUKC ROIGHT OFFFOOOFF
12  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: January 04, 2022, 12:26:42 AM
SORRY FOR ALL THE AVID READERS THAT HANG ON MY EVERY WORD FOR THE LONG TIME DELAY HER IS THE REST OF THE ROUITERS NEWS FROM THE FRONT.

So the little shit that was with the two girls on the Pancreas railway station has invented a game where they fill there mouths with water and then peak to each other with their lips closed so that the other person has to male out what they are saying and surprise surprise we have a British rail platform with a lake of water on it well done kids.

but then it doesn't stop there
13  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: November 26, 2021, 01:04:27 AM
THE BULL SHIT AND SELF FLAGELLATION FIRST AND THEN THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.

So our hero, that's me by the way has been going to Luton and the Vii in London in desperate attempts to win satellite tickets into big mother fucker games and the score so far is Tom out of pocket about 1000 and tickets gained zero...

So you will not be surprised that I've got bugger all to report about brilliant poker hands and how I did this and then he did that and I end up being the brilliant strategist and winning the prize.

So I will inform you of my observations on the journeys to the said poker events.

Got blown out of the Vic and arrived at St Pancreas train station, Platform B one hour and forty four minutes to the next train to St Albans I.m the only bod on the platform as I've juts missed the previous train... not a happy chappy.

Along comes three sixteen year old kids, two girls, one boy and straight away they're asking the Nigerian cleaning ladies and their British rail foreman which of the cables or train tracks has the electricity in it that if you fell against it you would be killed...the answer from the foreman, I don not rally hear and he and the cleaners wanders off.

I with one hour and forty five minutes to kill and attempting to nod off whilst sitting on the steel benches that British Rail have designed so that there is absolutely no way you can stretch out, lie down and be comfortable, you can only sit and attempt to doze. as I'm doing this, I hear the kids talking bollocks and shit, including phrases like "I feel like throwing myself onto the electric live track"... I then jerk awake as one of the girls has approached me and says are you alright... to which I reply, "yes I'm okay"... slightly touched by her kind consideration as to my well-being and realising that an old boy of my age trying to nod-off could look to a young kid like an old fart having a heart attack.

I then notice that the boy in the group looks like a character of East Enders that was a little runt with very thick lens glasses who was a really nasty piece of work...the usual bullshit playing nice, talking, but really a little wannabe sadistic serial killer in the making and as his actions took place, he was well cast for the part.

TBC
14  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: November 16, 2021, 04:53:49 PM
THE DEMISE OF A WANNA BE POKER GOD IN THREE EASY STEPS.....
Or how i got royaly shafted in the luton 400 game .....360 plus 40 juice....dont know why i bitch so much about the juice its a fact of life dont want to pay the juice dont play the game simples.....
so im playing and hitting some good stuff the villian who i shall call queen victorias husband is a very well known more money than he knows what to do with regular at the vic.....in the honey business....for three levels he has been on the table beside mind and has not re bought in but then like snow on a old slated roof he starts to move     level 4 and onwards he is playing musical chairs as he rebuys once to the same tablre secound to random table and third rebuy sits beside me ....at this time i have about 65k and am table chip leader he plays a few hands and has maybe 40k

WHAT COULD POSSIBLE GO RIGHT
guy on my right makes it 900 to play i look down at ace jack and re raise to 2100 honey man calls as douse a random at other end of table and player to my right....so four to the flop   rainbow queen high    firt raiser checks as do i ready to pass to any decent bet honey man checks and so douse last man....turn ace now there are two hearts and a wheal straight draw out there.....first guy goese all in for 8k i with top pair good kicker re raise to 18k honey man calls last man bails out....last card low heart making a wheal and flush possible ...i check honey man insta goes all in ....now there is about 100k in the pot and i have to put in 20k plus to call him ....he has a history of betting with totaly missed hands.....
i feel the all in player to my right shrinking with a missed hand so its for the whole pot....i call....honey man turns over 5 9 of hearts and says flush and a straite i show one pair aces other guy mucks.....so im down to 22k and play on slipping further and further down the pole....im still there to see honey man call a all in on a flopp with a king and a jack with his one pair of sevens in his hand to gift his chips to a random player and then he spreads the rest out liberaly so he has maybe 30k i bust out at level 8 ....another dream turned to slush

WHY ME GOD PICK ON SOME ONE ELSE OR DO I HAVE TO COME UP THERE AND SORT YOU OUT.
It would be very easy to bitch about the unfaireness of running into this player, but its his money he can and will play the way he wants the fact that people que up to rip him of at every turn and his only pleasure is the 20/30 percent of the time he gets to shaft some one like me is what he has paid his money for .....and all said and done if i cant deal with it and grow a pair pick my self up dust myself down and get back in the game im not the god of poker i dream i am as i beat one off under the table at the luton game.......

A QUICK HISTORY LESSON
I recall some 20 years ago bitching to a good mate that as i did not have 20 pound for a rebuy as i had spent the 60 i had bought with me and had had to ask a aquatance to lend me 20 and he had berrated me with comments like ...o why are you always asking me ....im not sure i have any money i need it for work tommorrow...and then eventualey shelling a 20 out of his wallet with 400 in it much to the amusement of the table of poker players .....now both he and i know he will lend me the 20 but he feels the need to humilate me in the process....so im bitching to a good mate about this and instead of him agreeing with me he rips me a new one for not being grateful for the 20 loan as its there money ect ect ......
and in the same way honey man has all the right to do what he did and will do again ....so get some timber build a bridge and get over it it wont be the last time....

Luton tonite 70 plus 10 and vic tommorrow 140 satalite if i dont score in one of them deep do dos and mucho bitching

whenyourmoaningaboutpokertakesmoretimethanyourmoaninghavingsexyounrrdtouseabetterqualityofducttapeinthesexpart

15  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: November 14, 2021, 11:06:19 PM
Hi and thank you fot yje kind words Mr Karabiiner,

Hi vinnie you old tax exile ,you will never guess who waltz into the luton g 400- game on saturday .....your old mucker you know black hair not a lot of muscles so not dean the other one ......used to sell bootleg dvds ....you probley know who i mean i think he works as a erection in the buil;ding industry ...small works ...any way he sat at my table and he has matured beyond recognision gone is the red wine falling over water and now its pints of guinness which he is quafting ......you know who i mean he usualey likes to stack his poker chips in two tall collums so he looks like a egytian pharo when he looks over them......any way also a part of his new image is he was munching a bag of crisps .....not any old walkers common crap no these were chedder cheese in a bronze bag proble kettle chips or some other classy gourmay much bag .....now i dont know wheather its a class thing like throwing your wine or vodca glass into the fire place after you and all your mates have a toast or like a greek wedding or meal where you break all the plates but your mucker when to pour the remains pf the classy crisps into his mouth and missed ......instant dandruff on the poker table ....luckley a quick call and ben has the hand held vackum doing a love lace.....

regards a reunion why not sugest a date to meet at the luton g.......remember to tell me the true day thou



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