Long over due i got a good few quid out of luton g last night ........but thats not what im on about right now ....how is this for a tight money grabbing tight arse..........i got blown out in third place an am realy pleased to have got so far as i am allways the poor relative in these things  a bit like that guy patches from the 70s song     an the guy in chip lead says to the guy in secound place   say 800 000  chips to 600 000   words to the effect that he is tired and won the game recently on another day  so would realy like to chop it with him having a little bit extra cash and bragging rights for back to back wins ....he the chip leader then says he will take a extra 25 quid to which secound chip guy speedly agrees.....as we are all three of us getting our payment slips secound chip player gives chip leader 12 pounds and says there   12.50p  from me and 12.50p from you makes the 25 pound you wanted...................to which the chip leader agrees as he is chuffed with the back to back wins and too tired to think or raise the issue that has been perpertrated on him......................a man is only as good as his word

next jurney forth sunday

MUG IN THE POO


your comments on money grabbing tight arse es in poker welcome

So i say i will go on about   THE POKER SCENE    and then spew about beer in the cheepest pub in st albans insteed an i come in from said watering hole and find all the self proclaimed poker girus and  divas.... glenn .... have all turned into  real ale wannebes .......
got thru to the sunday 25/50 only 71000 when average is 210000 but hey one shot and all to hope for

WHATDOYOUCALLADOGWITHNOLEGSOREYESOREARS,....YOUDONTCALLITHEWONTCOMETOYOUANYWAY

LONDON PRIDE  DOOMBAR  ABBOTS ALE  worthingtons   mconalds and a pizza hut  im sure theres a tune in there some where

On a serious note i have to be on my tipple AAA game for Sunday 4.30pm  as yet again i shall be the poor relative chip wise while being the village elder  skill wise first task see if i draw the button for a free round without ante .....like hal said before his trajectory crashes him into saturn    will i dream

SO HERE WE GO A FOLLOW UP IN THE THOUGHTS OF CHAIRMAN TOM .....so i am just in from the supper cheap pub in St Albans town centre     the bars    or if you insist   the water end barn    so having looked at the prospect of driving to  Luton for a self deal game or going for beer .......the brain food of all good poker players.....i chose beer  .....so car away and into town i plod     stop at cheap   co  op   to get reduced food bargains and up the road to the barn   food awinging happly in  10p  shopping bag   bloody good value in my opinion ....the bags i mean  nice shade of green and they do the job...........
so im in the pub ordered two pints of doom bar ...but the bar  man who insisted calling me Mate when i thought Sir might have been more suitable made a mistake with my order ....o he says ive poured you a pint of ruddles not doom bar he says as he goes to discard the pint ....thats ok  i say make the next one doom bar    ....long story short he gives me a packert of peanuts free as the ruddles is cheaper .....slight flash of guilt as i buy my cashew and honey roast peanuts from  the co op and secret them on to the table any way but hey a free pack of peanuts is still welcome.....

TBC

WHATSTHEDIFFERANCEBETWEENYOURLEFTHANDANDYOURRIGHTYOURRIGHTHOLDSTHETISSUES

Hi TK i have now got around to answering your enquiery as to what was the resolution to the    ALI  V  FOREMAN  rumble in the jungle or asw it may be more fasmilar to the greet unwashed   tom spitting his dummy ous saga ..........well having won the moral high ground of voting with my feet and depriving the luton  g  of the benifits of my company and spending i found out that they dont give a fudge ;;;so i did what annny sick degenerate poker player would do and whent back into the club two hours before the competition and spoke to  Carmel whent thru it and agreed that maybe that i had over reacted a little bit so why dont we jjust all kiss and make up which we all agreed to and i was issued with a new member ship card.....lesson learnt when you think that a multi million buisiness based on gambling gives a puck for one custermer you are wrong .............as to what became of george i asked uncle fester that works for the luton g and he said the lad/man is in singapore     i wish him well
......


whatsthedifferancebetweenawankandacheesesandwich.....youdontknownevermindiwillgetsomeoneelsetomakemypackedlunch



I belive there is a classic play possibly by shakespear where the main charecter is wondering the twilight zone between life and death or heven and hell and he stumbles across thie eneberated soul of a man who is as happy as an be and the hero asks this drucken man why he is so happy to which he replys as a sinner he was cursed to the pits of hell when he died but because he had done one good deed in his miserable selfish life which wqas that when joan of arc wqs about to be burnt at the steak and she was crying out to her god to hear her he had braved the flames to press two twigs tied together into a cross for her to hold as she suffered and died in the burning and for this one good act in his other wise miserable life he was allowed to leave hell one night a year and get wasted with all of mankinds vices including ale ........


i suppose the sinners action of giving that cross of twigs to joan of ark in modern times would be the same as you thinking of and running and maintaining the  Blonde poker site for all to enjoy for which i for one thank you .....well done

Hi my little loyal chipmunks so as to the poker scene as seen thru the prism of toms vantage point .........

LETS TALK ABOUT RELIGION , so you have all heard or seen bods going on about there beliefs as to how there god washes whiter than your god and in some cases they  are prepared to do some really awful things to prove that they are right and you are wrong and if you do not change your mind and join there gang you do not deserve to continue sharing the worlds oxygen supply....of course there beliefs put them at the top end of the pyramid where often all the benefits end up .....now they claim there beliefs without any proofs or facts to support there position just there proclaimed faith ....look on google for speakers corner for the latest  pro-claimers....

So let me break this down ,no proof , no witnesses , a feeling of self entitlement , no critical reasoning to be tolerated , just the warm glow in side that they are right...


SO I REST MY CASE  .....poker is a religion where we all do the same actions wont be dis-waded consider non players as not getting it and the odd reward of winning is our holy grail leading to the bright light ..............
and as a long term practitioner i believe and there fore it must be true  i should be proclaimed the chosen one and should be given a title such as .....division one poker expert.....and tithes and taxes should be paid into my purses for me with my superior knowledge and position to do what ever i choose without any checking mechanisms ..................seems like a plan to me


OK BACK IN THE ROOM
lAST NIGHT AT LUTON A INTERESTING HAND ....ABOUT SIX AWAY FROM THE MONEY LOWEST CASH BEING ABOUT £250 there is a all in with another all in i look down at queens ...that will do pig...im all in the guy to my left dithers for 5/10 seconds and then is all in so there are four of us all in IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT BEN WHO WORKS RUNNING THE POKER GAME HAS CLIMBED ON A CHAIR AND IS WATCHING THE PROCEEDING TO GET A BETTER VIEW LIKE A PUNTER IN A LONDON PUB NOT WANTING TO MISS SEEING THE STRIPPER   luckily we have james the dealer who is very experienced  and he is sorting out all the side pots ....i have turned over my queens and the two guys have turned over there ace king suited that each has the guy on my left has not shown his hand then after about 5 mins of james sorting the pots he turns over his pair of kings he wins i get a small side pot and am lucky to scrape in with the voted bubble which gave me a profit on the night of £40.........i like to think the guy with the kings is a newbie ,but i took a good look at his face so i know him in the future poker games...

next game satalite in the vic weds

hi you all i feel like replying to you all but im not sure that you all respect my  bloggs on the blonde poker site maybe ii shoud spill my heart about my opinions about poker but maybe im just rambling like some demented demented short sited twat .....so if i get four replies saying yes tom i want your opinion on the poker scene  i will reply    big time   otherwise stuff it ......................................PS I AM JUST IN FROM THE PUB WITH 7 PINTS OF DOOM BAR FIGHTING TO GET TO MY ONE EYED SPITTING COBRA .........................................JUST SAYING      SO FOUR REPLYS OR NO NEW YEAR COMMENT

SO WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO RIGHT....luton club hardly advertised the seniors event so piss poor turn out loads a people that are not luton regs so dont know the girl and are not inclined to dip into pocket but will avail them selves of the sweeties  local cash and comp player of fame /infamy doing his usual teke some for latter route en

total collection £19.75p  rounded up to £40 by one last donation ......on a brighter note the shirt that many of the girl leavings friends took time to draw on and write messages looked great  maybe i could get hold of it and sell it on ebay as a bansky ......so lesson learnt

next target satellite on wed the 20th cost 140  ticket to win  1250 nice  use winnings from main event to launch new bizz and this time next year well be millionaires....

most luton poker players think tipping is a city in china

icanbuymyselfflowersicanwalkontheshorealonewhichallcomesinhandyinluton


when you have some of the greatest sex you have ever had in your whole life
do you feel sad that no one was there to see it

SO I COULD SAY THAT THAT I AM THROWING MY HAT INTO THE RING AS TO A CHAMPION  FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE UNDER DOG IN POKER  THE LEVELER  OF ALL THINGS UNFAIR THAT FEED THE FAT CATS THAT FEEL THAT IT IS THERE RIGHT TO BLEED POOR POKER PLAYERS WITH 12.5 % PLUS REG FEES BUT HEY .....

i mind my own business and can tell you what i saw at luton just recently ......curtsy of vinee that sorted out my lost pass word recently.....and who is probable riding this and thinking why did i bother , sorry my old son too late and remember to  leave some kebabs for the other residents of Gibraltar....

IN LUTON  there is one of those GUKPT type events going on and i for my sins have been trying to get satellite seats for some of the worth while comps  now i can grind like MF when i put my mind to it and have been doing just that ........but in have no control over the dip sticks that persist in calling my ace jack with there ace four and hitting there four or ass per last Saturday  the clown that called my all in with his pair of threes to beat my pair of jacks
yes indeed i could bitch about this and a dozen other perceived twists in the matrix of the  universe that defy  all known logic but hey i realy dont give that much of a shit


so recently in luton  i heard that one of the dealers was having her last day as a dealer with us before leaving to train to become a architect  and i decided to raise a leaving whip around for her.....who knows i might make 50 or 100 quid for her .....me the hero her happy at getting a extra days wages what could possible go wrong ....

TBC

CANNONS TO THE RIGHT OF ME CANNONS TO THE LEFT OF ME AND STILL ON I RODE ...or to put it another way time to sort out gobby..

So here i am at the barn pub in St Albans and i am now on my sixth pint of doombar ....one thing to note about the pub is that there seems to often be a gathering of shop lifters at the front of the premises maybe trying to cash up there days work for folding . And now one of them is performing he has a see thru plastic bag with several bottles and other goodies visible thru it and he is all over the place talking absolute bollocks that makes no sence and stumbling about the pub is packed and people are filming him and his antics ,he looks like some one who 20 years ago woulld have been hansome rugged chin trendy clothes that have seen better years a sort of roger more lookie likey now he is in the outside courtyard swiging some bottle of pink wine from his bag then deciding that he wont drink and more he is pouring it out over the cobles like a priest blessing the land for a bountyful harvest then with the wine done with he gets two vape ciggaretes that glow red when he draws on them and is doing a dance in the courtyard like the pied piper of hamlyn coaxing the rats to follow him ...i thought it made him look like a dragon in china town new year street celabration with the bag of contraband slung over his arm and all this is being filmed by about six guys that are crowding the window with there smart phones.....

Its now time for me to go and i see gobby is no longer at the adjoining table but i figure he cant be far away i get up put on jacket and start to pass the table ....o do any of you guys play poker i ask  three of them chip in that they do and one of them is going to vegas in a few days,  o good i say ive got a poker story to tell you but im going for a piss now i will tell you when i come back.....i proceed to the loo and although it matters not see gobby in the loo area reviwing the film that he just took of dancing man....good i think he hasnt sodded of yet. job jone back to the table where the lads are and i re intruduce myself.....so are you ready for that poker story they all chirp up yes and i proceed ...i was in a worthwhile poker game in luton and we were down to the last two tables with the first prize being maybe 2800 ....just at that moment gobby comes back to the table and retakes his seat right in front of me ....im just telling a poker story i tell him ...o he says...so i look down at my hand and i have aces...gobby chips in   o and they got beet did they...npo i say there are three of us in the hand with raises and a all in leaving me and the other chip leader to see the flop which comes ace three nine rainbow  the other player makes a sizeable bet and i sitting with top set do what i have to do then figuring that flat calling looks to strong i go all in......the other player goese into the think tank....it should be noted that the table of lads are listening avidly to the story thus far a bit like when i tell jokes at luton poker tables.....so back to the story the other chip leader is having trouble deciding what to do and a resonable time has passed .....can i help you if you want me to i say to him .....he looks at me ....if you want i will tell you four pieces of information and if you can work out the truth you will know whether to call me or not ....other chip leader agrees to the offer of free information so i tell him and the poker table in luton the information...1/ ive nearly been shot three times   2/ i was awarded a black belt in a martial art  3/ i once had a informal chat with the queen of england  4/ive got a pair of aces in my hand .......so if you can work out which of those statements is iuntrue you will know wheather to call me or not i say.....he thinks a bit then call and i show my aces and win the hand.......the lads at the barn are like the ones in luton and want to know which was the lie to which i tell them i was bluffing as all four statments are true ...but the one that is most revalent to this moment is the one about the dear old queen....gobby is now taking a keen interest in the table wood grain ....i tell the story to the lads about how meeting the queen happened and who said what ....and then i say to the whole table you know 30 years from now just like people used to say where were you when JJFK got shot of when the twin towers were hit ,,,,if asked where were you when the queen died you can say you were in the barn watching some coke head hippie dance and listening to poker stories....gobby is still the quietest he has been all night long as he would have to be realy thick to not understand all his discredits about his tv viewing pleasure  being ruined by the queens death  were heard by me and i am professing the opposite opinion....so good luck in vegas i say and part from the 5 lads not even knowing there mate has just had his nose rubbed in it...

but then again maybe they do ...

MERRY XMAS YOU ALL INCLUDING VINNIE IN MADAGASGAR  GLEN IN A GLASS OF RED AT LUTON  DEAN IN BLACK CHOMPY IN A JUMPER.....

O AND LUCKY ALLAN NOT IN A KYACK

so my little chuckle warriors.....hot of the press the latest edition of tom in the city ,the must read exploits of our secret super hero wanna be poker star and all round most popular poker star in his own mind........

same shit different names and places.....all in with ace king suited called by king queen suited putting his whole game on the line in the window a queen and then no seventh caverlery  riding over the rolling green hills to save my ass.....

SO WITH NO HAPPY POKER STORIES TO RELATE WE ARE INTO THE PUB STORIES

As previosley mentioned me and the late queen go along way back and on the night of her passing over to the great poker table in the sky i decided to go out to the cheap beer watering hole in St Albans namely The Barn run by weathersoons , now the first thing you need to know about the barn is that it sells nearly out of date beer such as doombar and abbotts ale at around 2.40 a pint instead of 4.50 a pint in regular pubs plus loads of cheap pub grub........so it should not be a suprise that traditionaly all the coffin dodgers use it as there club house and the clenleyness of the tables on a busy night is some way down the scale .....i think it would be safe to say that there is less DNA on the metal autopsy table that the guy in the yank film DENVER  uses as he cheerfully carries his work on as a serial killer while working as a cop forensic scientist in the starting credits he is cooking and eating eggs and bacon with a smile on his face then 20 mins later hes got the criminal cling filmed to the autopsy table for a brief chat before he plays mother and starts to carve

so the queen has gone and i am at the barn early about 6.00pm with two pints of doombar in front of me ,i get two at a time as the first one dousnt touch the sides all is cool and mellow then two guys take up the table beside me ......they start talking and i being a nosy sod listen mouthey bod is telling his chum how he is earning realy good money phoneing prospective portfolio holders to make them aware of the good rates that there firm can attain for them by moving there funds to there portifolios he it seems then passes the lead to the boss who closes it and he can make realy good  money but nothing compared to the boss of cource......listening to mouthy bod it sounds like he is working in the square mile and i quickly notice that he is dominating the conversation with his mate who can only get 6 words in to mouthy bods 66 words ........

i am on beer number three now and the group at the near table has grown to six bods with mouthy bod still holding court ....there is not a subject he hasnt got a opinion on and will share it with his mates wheather they want it or not ........im not bothered ....there are twats in this world and its not my job to educate them .......then he did it .........he declares now with the old girl dying there probley wont be any thing on the tv now other that the queen this and the queen that.........
so yet again i am wrong and i do feel the need to educate this lost sole on the error of his gob....

tbc

Hi Celtic , i heard yesterday at Luton g and yes i saw Gavin a week or two ago at Luton g but not to talk to regrettable, I will make a point of copying all the pics of Gavin and you and see about emailing them to you the pictures and the memories they may bring will be of more substance than any words i could string together........

SATURDAY THE 29TH THERE WILL BE A SPECIAL CHARITY POKER GAME AT THE LUTON G CASINO ,COST £100 AT 3.00PM  FOOD AT 4.30PM

details from luton g i shall be bringing all the collection of photos that i have dating back over 20 years so players can snap pics of themselves and friends...........many of the original blonde poker players are in the pics so come on down.

TRUE STORY

When i was about nine years of age my family lived in a big old house between two villages in Norfolk called Grimston and Gayton i along with 4 to 5 bothers and sisters were playing by the large iron gates to the drive way when a well dressed man with a school kid of about 12 years of age appeared out of nowhere ,as we did not see a stranger from one week to the next at our secluded location this was a rare event indeed.


The well dressed gent asked if our father was around to which three of us hollered...dad a man wants you and he promptly turned up the man had a chat with my dad and they whent into the house to fetch something leaving the well dressed school kid with us for a short time , seeing the posh school uniform this lad had on one of my older brothers said to him ...what school do you go to mate....to which he replied   I dont go to school around here...another brother replied to that with his opinion which was ...Stuck up git...the posh lad looked relieved when just then my dad and the well dressed man returned with a large jug of water which had two handles on it for carrying purposes.

My dad said to me to take the other handle of the posh man and help him carry the water up to a car that was 4 to 5 hundred yards up the road from our front drive which i did feeling proud that my dad had chosen me over my older brothers as i was the largest and strongest of the brothers even though two of them were older....small victories get them where you can.
At the car the posh dressed man helped my dad to put the water in the car radiator and offered to leave the jug with them to drop of at the local garage when they were passing but the man said that was alright he felt they had enough to get home, then my dad was talking to some one in the back of the car thru the open window and he called me over, i was by now itching to get back to my group of brothers as i felt they would be having more fun than i climbing trees and such like, so i went over to the window and in the back of the car was a lady with the posh school kid sitting beside her ...Hello whats your name the lady asked ...tom i replied....well thank you very much for helping your father carrying the water for my car Thomas the lady said ...thats alright i replied and my dad sent me back to the driveway of our house.....

A week or two later my family got a invite to the Sandringham village fete...it turns out that the posh lady was the chair person of the village committee and this was her thank you to us.

SO ON TO COVENTRY FOR FAME AND FOURTUNE....................YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE A LAD AND AT THE DISCO YOU LOOK AT THE PRETTY GIRL AND PLUCK UP THE COURAGE TO GO AND CHAT TO HER ....and on the way over to her some jack the lad who pulls loads of girls seemlessley gets there before you.......well at least you had a chance ....you had a shot ....you were half a degree away from mission acumpleshed......not so coventry no traction or cards and the only shot i had i will now describe...
my starting stack is down from 25k to about 13k .....we are all aware of the line of 300 plus players snaked thru the casino waiting to join the alternates so re buying is not a sensible option let alone the cost another 250.....
i am the big blind at say hree  six six...i havent looked at my cards yet ,and the two guys to my left are foostering around with there food and drinks orders not paying attention to the game ,...i see teddy at the table opposite who has been holding court like a mini celeb as he whent deep ion reading for 20k odd ...he is standing up for the extra 2% as he is all in and called so its do or die for him im looking over to him to see his facial reaction of doom or glory as the cards on his table roll out ...then i hear the dealer on my table saying 600 to you i look down at kings ...now to gret paid ,when you have got en bet em ...i declare all in ...no problem ...if i go out with kings so be it go down fighting i say...................................... the dealer declares bet out of turn the two lads foostering with there food havent acted yet or the rest of the table ....floor called im held to non agressive action ...guy in seat two wants more penalties on me which he fails to get ....nice prick...the players in the hand fold lioke dominos to seat four who makes it 1600 i call the flop comes king queen nine with two hearts he checks i go all in he passes showing ace jack suited and says he would have raised and called when i whent all in so my mistake has costed me my double up ....seat two still mumbleing about why there should be more penalties...even bigger prick ....and i win the min....

waisted eventualey leaving the club i see DINA dealing with the head of the 300 rebuy que i but in to say ....HI DINA BY DINA IM OFF...she replies smileingley and like every eighth man in the que i wonder ......if i lost a load of weight got a personal trainer a six pack had some minor cosmetic touch ups plus hair implants and teath done whent to colledge to get some class education with a laungauge learnt or two ....plus win 10 million on the lottery would i have the balls to ask dina if she has a younger sister ........
which has the longest odds me winning goliath or dinas make belive sister ......


im off to luton for the 250 at 4.00pm last of the day ones price pool looking to be 75k to 95k ..........one shot jonny thats me ,

YEA HAAAAA

.....So here we are again not surprising, I've just got in from tpub and have decided to treat my adoring pubic...

I think I last posted here at the start of Covid, so I'll a bit disjointed and I'll just jump in and start with some ramblings... About six or nine months ago, I've into Luton G and it's like a reunion of all the old faithful Blonde Poker wannabees, there's Gavin, still trying to sell, hooky coffees of Debbie does Dallas DVD's and he with the stripey jumpers (standard) plus Dean, he with the muscular physique, with arms that look like John Holmes best asset and there with them is the guyser that sodded off to Malta or Gibraltar and try as I might, I just can't remember his name... I know or I think I know, that he is Scottish, or Welsh, one of those far flung places where you don't like your school kids mixing with them in the school yard, because of the certainty of picking up bad habits. But there I am, saying hi, to this one or that one, obviously all the Blonde poker bods have all text each other, for a meet up and i can't remember his bloody name....................................................................................
but then a stroke of luck, just as I was considering, is this the onset of senile dementia, hes turns his head and I see he has got a burger bun with about two portions of mum's go to iceland chicken strips (deep fried) and he is munching on it with glee whilst still talking to his chums and like a shaft of light his name came to me... it was Vinnie.... he might be from the Isle of Wight actually.

Now, more up to date, at Luton G the rake for competitions is getting out of order, ok they are a business, not a charity, but they will choke the whole poker scene and then wonder, where's everyone gone!

On a lighter note, Mr and Mrs Phan are still spanking the one-arm-bandits all though we here about their winnings, not the other side of the coin.

Good news, Teddy got a very decent circa £20K in a GUKPT event, everyone genuinely happy for the guy, me included, although the line from the hit song... it should have been me... does go through my mind, but then I never entered that competition.

Now for a bang up to date, tomorrow, Thursday 1st of September, I'm off to the Goliath for 12pm for my shot at poker immortality. I will be rubbing shoulders with punters decrying that they did three bullets the first time and then two bullets the following day and now they are at the last gasp saloon with me and only the turbo on Friday if they don't get through today............................................................and there I'll be with my one entry like Madonna being a Virgin touched for the very first time here to do business.

So that's what I'm doing tomorrow.....

IFANYONESGOTANYGOODDOGGINGSITESBETWEENSTALBANSANDCOVENTRYPLEASEWASHYOURHANDSBEFOREYOUSITDOWNTOPLAYATMYTABLE.