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121  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 31, 2017, 01:59:45 PM
PRET POKER AND THE POSSIBILITY OF ACTUALY WINNING
So im in pret coffee shop in st albans surrounded by all sorts of locals and i feel like its time to blog ....bit silly having the lap top with me if i wasnt going to blog,come on its not like its a dog to be tacken for walks and stuff...so last night i whent to luton g [no buffet [   [no suprise there] just saying uncle fester..and the final two tables of the xmas cracker are in full swing ...the most favirate local left in is ...baby wipe ...the blinds are getting so big that soon the average stack is going to be 10 to 15 big blinds then you will hear a gnashing of teath ...i go over and offer baby wipe a 5% saver in my comp for 5% in his he chuckles and i think says he will think about it.....interesting thing about dave is he can always see me coming and knows im going to interject with a little whit that i may think is humerous but others may find distanced from there interlectual level yet every time he makes out hes just suprised that im there as if startled by my apperance and utterances , and yet on the table he misses nowt wheather said or implyied by body language i can only assume if he was in a shoal of herrings on a david attenbourgh wild life film he will never be the one on the outter fringes getting picked of by el flipper ....
so on with my little game i arrived late by choice and im sitting by jonny mac i am in time for the last hand before the break and no more buy ins johhy has just lost a chunk of chips so i know hes in super shove mode .....he shoves for 7200 i go all in for 14975  a blue rinse in seat ten with a mountain of chips wants to call but dihters and dothers  and with a few well placed words from me of save your chips love and you will see my cards any way ...i get told multi way pot by several players and the dealer ...stuff that i think im trying to save my ace two off ...blue rinse passes and says she cant belive she has passed ace king ...i smile inside ...me and jonny are on our backs he has something like king jack to my ace two ......
allways was a lucky fish that jonny if ha was a samon swimming up stream to the swarming grounds he would leep up the rapids when the brown bears are having a kit kat break...
and im down to 7k odd and the buyins are over ....and we play on ....why o why am i always the poor chip relative ....15 for the money ...two tables and im still there ....i shoev my last 40k with ace eight button calls for his 48k  calls with king nine ....................genius......................sheer genius...................hes played for loads of hours to get it in with k9 off.......................im out
i go to watch the final table of the xmas cracker dave..baby wipe is all in for his small stack and called by two big stacks .....hes out ....the last three players launch into a well shall me chop it up debate ...come on guys let him exit the table before you start that conversation....i tell baby wipe well done he sort of grunts and nods almost without making a sound or moving his head ,but i can tell hes touched by my kindness.

well can it get any better.....yes it can ......dan one of the staff catches me and gives me a 105£ last longest ticket as i was secound .as they have gone electronic on the lps i had totally forgotten all about it where had we had a chip in front of us i would have been doing walk bys and all sorts .....
one happy bunny now to the pound shop for some mucho cheepo for the new year game on the 1st   18,000 gt but it will be more.....


IFATREEFALLSINAFORESTANDTHEREISNOONETHEREDOUSEITMAKEASOUNDANDMOREIMPORTANTLEYWHATHAPPENSTOTHENESTOFSQUIRELLSTHATLIVEDINTHETHIRDCROOKFROMTHETOP
122  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 27, 2017, 09:15:45 PM
HEAD BANGING AT LUTON G POKER EVENTS , WHY DO IT , POSSIBLY BECAUSE ITS SO NICE WHEN YOU STOP.
SO IM ALONG TO THE LUTON G POKER GAME 18K GT AND WERE OUT AND RUNNING GOT MY ENTRY FROM A LAST PERSON STANDING WIN SO IM IN A SUPERIOR THAN THOU MIND SET TO START WITH ......MEDICO CARDS AND MEDIOCRE PLAY FROM ME EQUALS MY CHIPS IMPERSONATING A ICE CREAM ON A HOT PAVEMENT .....DOWN DOWN AND OUT.... OK RE BUY WITH LPS MEANS 145 OUT OF POCKET BUT HEY LOOK AT THE PRICE MONEY 20K AND CLIMBING ...DOUBLE BONUS THEY HAVE LAID ON A BUFFET PLANNED FOR THE BREAK.....AND IM OUT AGAIN ......THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING  WHAT ABOUT ALL MY LETS EARN SOME DECENT POKER MONEY MENTAL PLEDGES .....SHOULD I BUY IN AGAIN OR NOT ,I GO INTO THE BUFFET WONDERING IF ITS POSSIBLE TO EAT 2 X £145 worth of food ...
foods nice and the staff are all smiles even when for devilment i try to not give my buffet ticket to the girl on ticket duty ....one buffet and three sweets later im of to re enter game ...the shame im starting with 20k onto tables where they have 60k  and more ..ok so some players have less ...but when you venture out into the durasic park of poker its the ruddy great trranasoares rexs you notice not the fluffy little bunny rabbits
and the price money is ..if i remember right £26520 ......a good few bods i know are there dave the welder who a whisper i heard is said to have had 7 trys at this event...gavin as per his game plan of late turned up with about 30 mins of rebuy time left ....i forgot to say in the break some old gir a blonde dragonessl came up to me and started gobbing of about something she thought i would have a opinion the same as hers on , i said nowt and waved my hand in a i see what you mean sort of motion , she looked perplexed and re stated her case i motioned again and threw in a shrug as well , you dont say much do you john she said ....thats because im not john i said and i have no idea what youre talking about ....o she said ...and wondered off
and we are playing poker 23 for the money and i have something to prove to my self sod any one else i have to make the money to prove to my self that im not a mug punter , i am a player who can go far if fate and god and the dealers that all hate me could just stop sticking there legs out to trip me up .....what is it with these things do they not think i have a hard enouth life already , fatter older greyer and with a head of hair that has a mind of its own i dont need anti karma ....and we play on .....
50 players left ....and on we play....23 for the money ...cards come and go as do players ...30 left and as per usual im low on chips , we get to the bubble and the decision cards are issued ...no deal on the table behind me ....and the bubble gose and im in the money , now here is where it gets interesting there are 5 last longests left but only 3 prices being 225...225...and 150...from where im sitting i can see this women who has a lps ....shes one of these im entitled because im cute and wealthy and there fore anything i do or say has value  , who has less chips than me i have say 100k and she has 70k  so with 5k 10k blinds neither of us can hold out for long ......now im getting up and checking chip stacks with casual walk bys and she is scanning in my direction all the time ....news break one of the lps with loads of chips couldnt keep his shirt over it and hes out so now its either me or her for no lps prize.....interestingley enouth im not getting any cards so passing for the other half of my big blind is not a problem as my big blind has loads of chips and will raise every time .....result miss entilted is out  and i get 150 lps minimum ....i look down aq suited mr 1.5 million chips on my right makes it 30k to play i go all in for my 100k pass to mr big chips he looks awkward and i know why...its nowt to do with wheather he calls me or not its the awkwardness of realising that everyone will see the bollocks he has bein raising with ...he calls and shows 10 5 off suit flop 10 jack queen ....   ........    .........     ........   and then im out
all told with silly amount of rebuys and winning lps only 75 profit on the night divded by say 12 hours makes 6 pound a hour not good but a lot better than a loss and i did have a chance of the 7.5k first prize....

and on to the next game 20k gt day ones at luton g wed,thurs,fri,sat, with final sunday........here we go get in line again tom and start banging your head on the wall....
LETS FINISH ON SOMETHING UPLIFTING  i was talking to a couple of players and the subject of the photos i have tacken over the years came up and one of them said its good that you took them as so many people have gone now and we can see what we looked like years ago and its good that some one bothered to keep a record of it all ......so its a bit like asking me if i know any jokes ....note i said jokes not funny jokes....i shall bring the cameras and take one last last photo shoot plus bring in some of the old frames for viewing probly thurs 28th   and sunday when im there for the final anyway ...hope..

A GOOD POKER PLAYER KNOWS HES GOOD AND FEELS NO NEED TO PROVE IT OTHER THAN AT THE TABLE 
A BAD POKER PLAYER THINKS SHES GOOD AND TELLS ALL OTHERS THERE FAILINGS



123  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 25, 2017, 04:45:16 PM
NOT THE QUEENS CHRISTMAS MESSAGE TO THE NATION
......................................................................................

Please do not assume that this is the queens message to the nation ,yes i can understand how its confusing that on the same day two addresses to the nation appear both with heart felt meaning and up lifting content but this is not she , plus i dont want any new year gongs or knighthoods to be reconsidered in a adverse way....so that said on with the good shit.

played at luton g on the 23rd no great anything , the parking for when the main park is full  has been re located to matlans with a ferry car lift to the club ..not ideal..so im in and playing some of the lady players are getting louder as if people want to hear there deep well thought out reasoning on how to play variouse hands and on any other life topics that come to mind ...they mostley seem to be divorced...no poker read skills needed to see that one, i do my usual all the dealers hate me when the cards go against me and what a dealer when it gose for me ,i also tell a few interesting life stories until one of the other players accusess me of being too monotone ...i take it to mean boreing ..so i reign it in a bit .......it would seem that the ideal table talk should not include any one talking about life and death events they have seen or been in ,famous persons and stories , good luck stories and any thing that would make you go wow...or jokes....     ................ .............so just bad beat mate , and seat table 9 is acceptable ........the answer is ...........   .............. and the horse you road in on.
i some times look at a card room like its a black and white film waiting to discover talkies and colour all bland and no life ....well its your lucky day i am the MG AND PARAMOUNT AND PANAVISION  and i am going to lift you out of your rut ...it may not be easy it may take some time but little by little the card rooms can come to life and stop being like librarys where every one is just waiting to go ssshhhhhhhh

that said the next worthwhile jobby is the 26th at luton g 18k gt which a straw poll at the felt gave the opinion that all the great and good will be gagging to get away from there kids and wives so i think i shall pop along ,got my first entry in the last longest...eventualy...and make it to the final table it cant be that hard to pass all the usual suspects ...chomp say few words...dave the welder...lucky allan...will talks alot...dave baby wipe...billy the kid...danish....
there may be some thing at dtd to look to also ,so onwards and eventualy upwards i tread because half way up the stairs is the stair where i sit.
this coming year i make some serious money at poker re think the man hours expanded and maybe do some thing else like full time blogging or become a paid comedian.
reachforthestarsthatwaypeoplewillknowyouhavntgotyourhandsonyourcock.
124  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 22, 2017, 12:10:12 PM
PEACE ON EARTH AND GOOD WILL TO ALL MEN , exclusions may apply.
So i got that wrong it was 8k gt at luton g so in i go ,a nice win before xmas will have me waking up with a silly grin in the morning and having that lovely moment when you think why am i happy ...and then you remember o yes i won such and such last night mmmm nice......

And we play the game ....a bit like old sean connery in the film RED OCTOBER when hes telling the crew that yet again we play the game with our old adverseries like our fathers before us and there fathers before them and so on... as i booked in timi let it out that its her last night tonite ...i quickley referenced my brain as to wheather it may be approperate to have a whip around for her with me being loud and may be saying im going to streak or tight rope walk the rail up by the final table if we raise enouth ....but i decided that she was a bit too reserved for that sort of fuss [plus the amount of times i asked her if she wanted a photo of me to send back to her mum for approval and she never took me up on it]  the last whip round we had got me lap dancing and raised 170£ for the leaver ...and thats a lot of kit kats...

Then it struck me the staff on the way in had commented on my birthday being after midnight ....so maybe timi wasnt leaving and its all a pre curser for some lavish mini buffet that the manager of the card room was going to spring on me .....if the staff on the door know of the allineing of planets for sure a well traveled execcative of the tables was up to looking after his regulars.....
and we play on ...i will say that the poker game has given me more of a insight to other cultures and helped me to see all persons as humans and not ..o them and us , so i can see romainians who can be a good goup of lads all grinding away to attain the same as me ...not the stero type you see on the tv programs with all the neg and blame...asians that can have manners far ahead of mine ,would i have mixed with them but for poker ..probley not ...do i respect them more for what i see in there ability ,you bet ....chinese and simalar good players mostley with a sprinkling of nut jobs....
so in effect when they did the famous COKE add in the 1960s with a load of yanks on a plateu all singing about ...id like to teach the world to sing ....they were referring to the luton poker room .......
o i forgot to say a poker buddy treated me to a very nice meal in the restraunt before the game ....nice ....whent into the game and sat down beside lali who said ...who put you in ...which i thought was a bit rude as if i cant pay my own way into the game ....then i realised he ment he thought i had just arrived 30 mins after the game and my chips were in play to get the early bird  .... in the restraunt lali i told him ...o he said ....
and we play on jim the manager will probley bring the cake with candle out in the break i figure....got a nice load of chips ...its gone the break and pass midnight ..still no party popers.....and im out .....
not even close to money .....i walk out and in the bar theres timi and jim plus one of the players that may or may not have dvds for sale having a drink at the bar i swerve over to say bye to timi as clearley they have positioned themselves to suprise me on the way out with a cake with sparklers being lite up in the side when jim gives the signal ....who knows maybe a free voucher from luton g for the boxing day special 18k gt or a slap up meal in the restraunt for two ....maybe both....i wish timi well with her next position she goes to and say nite to all ....god there good   talk about poker faces they carry on as if they are genunely just having a drink at the bar with a popular team member that is leaving ......i get it they probley are waiting for me to be in the lobby where the top manager can suprise me with one of them big bang things of deal or no deal that has loads of shiny paper floating down ,not wishing to ruin all the planning i go along out into the lobby ...nite to the girls ...out into the car park .....bloody hell they are leaving it to the very last minute.....
into car driving out ...o well play flick thru the radio chanells tom ,maybe you will find bowie or amey ......
into luton g thurs got to 10th place for 124 plus last longest.....when leaving had 10 pound at roulete with 5 on 7..11  and 5 on 28...29 split 29 came in smacked it for the repeat with 50 on 29 plus splits the dealer is entering into the spirit of it ...but no not this time ....that makes about 13 times i hane had the 50 on bet with splits ...its the bet after that i want to see as it will be 1000 laid out for a repeat mmmmm one day
o well i have my ticket for the 18,000 gt one day event courtesey of last longest .....one day .......one day....

have a good xmas all what ever that may entail remember its better to give than to take , and should we have some snow and you are walking pass a snow man and you happen to look at him and see he has pound coins as eyes and teath then you will know there is a god full of trust and benevalance with faith in mankind , that or your passing a house where cousins married each other.

theproductioncompanyoftomandassociateswouldlikeyoutoknowthatnoanimalswherehurtinthemakingofthisproduction.....

125  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 19, 2017, 11:06:55 AM
GOD IM GOOD,STOP TESTING ME AND SEND THE GOOD STUFF,PRONTO.
So im into the day two at luton and im grinding like a mother ..not in the sex meaning of the word but in the poker vanacular ...come on you bitches form a ordley que to bitch slap tom and take his antes and blinds...26 players back on day two and im the lowest at 49,400 15 players to get some money first being 7.5k......sort of makes up for the lack of free buffetts ....who remembers the free cakes that you used to get in the old club....yes well may you hang your head in shame uncle fester...
and im grinding away first goal not to be the first player out ...ive told big dave we will give him a mexican wave when hes out before me ..he has 200k plus to my 50k- ,also asked his table who was this guy with the sunglasses was he a poker pro player like you see on tv ,...., or a welder...and we play on players drop ...bugger me i might make the money ...johnson baby wipe [the other dave] loses a load of chips and declares that he hopes i dont make the final table as my felt tip cartoon faces and messages are crap ,i agree and tell him if i do he will feature
now dave is one of the better players and for me to refer to him as ..johnson baby wipe ..is not a insult more of a afectionate referance like look tom has noticed you ...you have arrived on the poker scene ...when your tree falls in a deserted forest you most certainley will make a sound...    ......  on the subject of names i recall a lady who came to the club became a friend with edna and whent on to travel around to poker games at sea side locations with edna teaching the locals what its like to have a blue rinse slow play aces into you ...any way i digress this lady was telling us how she was from or had been to germany and sweden and austria etc etc i took a kindley regard of the old girl and said thats alright we will call you danish,and she or rather we took to it like a duck to water after me calling her at the table danish for half a dozen times it was assumed that was her name...and it stuck with her ...choices ..choices.. danish or johnson baby wipe ,god im the shakspear of names .

made the money ,got to final out in 8th for 700 pounds ...nice ...
whent to dtd nottingham for free roll monday 18/12/17 102 runners 11 prices im out in 15 ....enjoyed it imensley but not the bloody journey missty fog on M1 ...free nibles on trays which got a few visits from me ,a couple of the girls that usualey are running about with hot pants and gold flesh colured tights were serving but as a special they had nice outfits on ...made them look realy classy and raised the event from the base instict ...rest of girls attired as usual...
so tonite luton g 4k gt i think ...to candy or not to candy mmmmmm

youdonthavetobeoflowintellectoryourparentsbeingcousinstoeachothertoreadtheseblogsbutafterreadingthemyoumayfeelthatyouare.
126  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 17, 2017, 12:46:29 PM
TOP LEVEL DECISION
So here i am in pret st albans its 12.37pm sunday 17th [wow see how its starting to sound like big brother ...i shall have to practise typing in a geordie accent] and the decision is being made to post about small event that i fail in not just the sad git dragging his bones to dtd in nottingham fails ,...so its of to day 2 at luton g with probley the smallest stack 49,400 but hey theres a game at 5.00pm to look to.....decisio should i hit the pound shop and take some chokkies in.....dare i not try to bribe the karma fairy ....and of course slip a couple of packe of kit kat to the staff    sigh if only raj new what shes missing ,she was rather keen on the old chococlate fingers ......

asknotwhatyourcasinocandoforyoubutratherwhatyoucandotogetoutthedoorswithmorethanyouwalkedinwith.

127  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 12, 2017, 11:33:23 AM
I HAD BETTER LOOK UP THE LAURA ASHLEY WALL PAPER RANGE BOOK AS THERE IS SOD ALL TO REPORT ON THE GREAT TOM VERSES DTD EVENT...
So i got the train and as per guards info on st albans station i changed at leicester as the train did not stop at beeston ....wrong....guard at leicester tellm me i would have been better going to nottingham and getting a train back to beeston and as with all the disruption that would be ok with railways....instead 0ne hour wait at beeston
i remember edna commiting on my stories on here of how i allways seem to get lost on the last few miles of the journey wheather its newcastle,shefield,coventry,blackpool,or indeed any of the game locations...maybe now im in my dottage and choose to take the train getting of at not the best transfer points is my getting lost syndrome...mmmmmm

so into pumpkin coffee bar at leicester a group of ladies with heavy yorkshire ..i think.. accents keep me amused,as i leave i put the 5p coin from the floor into the charity box.....hope the karma genie douse not think im being mean but if i add to the ammount that would be a bribe and he or she may have a downer on that unless of course they are a politition......yes thats right i am going political as evedenced by my last feltism on the luton g winners table ...FEED THE WORLD , EXCLUSIONS APPLY

and onto beeston into b and b and into taxi then into dtd....
into 110 game two hours of buy in time left approx ....nice
blown out not so bloody nice...the hand matters not suffice to say a player that probley likes his cousin a hell of a lot got his jollies by throwing a dart over his shoulder and hitting the bullsaey i leave huridly uttering ...well thought out sir,not...im far enouth away to not hear his explanation as to why he was right probley along the lines of the world is flat unicorns do exist and elvis works in milton keynes...

into small 50 game and blown out into taxi and into b and b tins of bear are intact as is twix bars from pound shop o well at least nowt else can go wrong now.....
the bloody tv with the screen smaller than a lap top wont work jiggle wiggle put plug in other outlet no sod you tom not a glimmer...mmmmmm

onto laptop and youtube which i only discovered about 3 months ago before that i thought that the internet was for porn and high falutted busness men that look up stock and share graphs and spread sheets before analising all the information cross referenceing with there contacts in capitol cities talking with jeremy and nigel that they belong to the same clubs as and then taking 5 million and putting it into the bussness that has the smart receptionist with big boobs..
the screen is full of cop shooting of unarmed citacens with a twist ..if its a white cop alls okay no disciplinery action ,if the cop is black or mixed race he or she had better start looking at what goes well with a orange overall outfit ...
i click onto some old robin williams stuff brilliant,then david bowie...funny parts...bowie is on a chat show where he is watching the tv with the chat host all the usual good stuff and then bowie cuts across the host and says o theres benny hill and watches it for a few secounds....so bowie likes benny hill ,good...i remember a program i think where benny hill whent to holywood and visited the late charlie chaplins home which had a tour going on ...when the people in charge found out they had benny hill there they granted him access to the parts of the house that the public dont see ...and benny hill was totaly blown away to see in charlie chaplins libary a shelf with his dvd taped shows on ,what a acaluaid charlie chaplin liked your stuff.....
now is there a link yes ther is i absolutley like david bowies music and benny hill was good also and charlie chaplins a genius plus i have a carboard charlie chaplin dancing man toy i got in a house clearance circa 1930s     so in effect there is a link between all four of us almost like a band of brothers ,mmmmmm stop it tom this is how stalkers get started,,,,panick over they are all dead so no problem on the stalking front
still three brilliant stars as opposed to all the neg in the world.
and back in the room  sleep the morphine that blocks out all ackes and wants ....
so in a look back in anger was it worth going to nottingham ,xxxs cost 200  and the only thing that is a posative is the knowledge that you just like a sales man has to have the door slammed in his face 10 or 100 times before he gets a yes the yes makes it worth while but the slammed doors still hurt....
and so back to luton g tuesday they may be a worthwhile overlay with the weather ....there i go forevere the optumist.

i think i shall treat myself to a land rover discovery ...its the car that i could never afford when it was new ... when i get a worthwhile result so like some one that wants to lose weight i shall put a picture on the fridge of the prize  .....

   smile and the whole world smiles with you , apart from the miserable sods that have a inferiority complex and want to find a scape goat for there own failings ...so smile and take the chips
128  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 10, 2017, 10:43:25 AM
SO HERE WE GO AGAIN....
its sunday morning its snowing its 10.37am and im on my way to dtd in nottingham....checked the 4 tins of stella still ok at present...cheap b and b  booked for one night ....and a 50k gt game to play  i may not win i may not even cover the xxxxs but one day and if i have anything to do with it soon......
wish me luck or wish me a snow ball in the neck .....i will let you know about the wall paper patern in the b and b plus the twat at my poker table all of which is just up ahead.....

icameisawiwillconqueroneday..
129  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 05, 2017, 02:02:29 PM
THE PUB OF CHOICE FOR POKER LOSSERS IN BEESTON....THE COMMERCIAL INN...

I get the taxi to drop me at this pub as in previouse years they had a sunday night karioke and if you think my jokes are bad my karioke singing will have you sewing or super glueing your ears up....but from the outside i can see the place has had a majar re furbishment i go in three staff look up from there choirs and greet me there is maybe two other people in the place i see they do    old specald hen bitter    ahhhh a pint nuts and chilli crisps i take a seat in the super clean super tidy bar.....this is the same building that had all the locals shuffling about waiting for there turn to be truly medioka for 3.5 mins of fame   one guy allways used to sing blue velvet and i had a go at angie baby after i got two local girls to do it with me [i promised them a drink ]   where are all those ghosts now i remimiss     ahhhhh the pressures of two intense days of playing poker at dtd start to unwind ahhhhh  i know im disproportanately chuffed at at least making the money ....all said and done if any of us dropped 200 quid on the drive in the dark when we got home we would be out there on our knees looking for it.....i am reminded about a unaversity experiment where they wired a load of roulete players to lie dettector type devises and measured all ther emotions ....they wernt the happyest when they won huge sume or when they won a lot lost a lot and then won a little ...they were happy after they got themselves into a mess and then got part out of it.....so half way up the stairs is the stairs that i sit.
onto my secound pint the first one hardly touched the sides a scruffy guy comes in and the bar man tells him ..no service for homless here mate..i chat to the bar man he explaines the guy has history of falling over and bleading plus pissing himself on the seat of the pub hes in ...sad but i see there point ...i tell the bar man about a item i had heard on the radio ...apparently when the beatles broke up paul macartney with linda macartney had got in two vans with there new group called wings and headed up the M1   they arrived at nottingham and sent there roady into the university office who told the person in charge ...hey ive got paul macartney outside in a van he wants to know if you want him to do a gig with his new group called wings.....according to the radio chat show it took 20 miutes for the university person to bother to go out to the van and see paul macartney and then the stage was set lessons were cancelled experiments in the science section tha were due to be completed before the results were ruinedd were negated and the gig whent on ....the radio said that the person that okayed it for the university was crapping it for a different reason as the hall had only a licence for 800 and it was packed to the eves with all the fire doors chained.....
i decide to have some of there indian food at the pub so its a lamb bryani pershwarree nan and a popadom plus my third pint hmmmm heaven   the relish with the popadom is all super smooth paste suger filled liquids filled with e100s  the lime one is a sort of electric plastic shade of gree and when i dip the popadom in and hold it like a crisp im about to eat it looks like a tiny mountain with green snow on its peak ...hmmm good stuff this third pint in less than a hour ....i get up and pay plus get two tenners for a twenty i say to the waitress ...theres a possible ten pound tip for you if you can tell me my name ,i had told her it earlier ,ill give you a clue i say and you can ask your team being the other two staff that are ther ...its not dick or harrrry ,she looks blank her work mate chips in and tells her think what are the three names that go together with dick and harry ....tom she answers here you are i give her her tip ,and leave    down the road pass two empty pubs into b and b and last tin of stella munched down with the 5 little round mints i got fronm the pub..hmmmm wonky tv with tiny screen and no brightness control.....and sleep
next morning breakfast tip two quid and shower and onto train for 11.11am to luton parkway.... i pass a lady who looks slightley familar she nods and says thanks for the money its the waitress from the breakfast ....nice to be thanked and on to train blogging away not knowing its going to be lost....and home

SO WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM THE TRIP MY FIRST THOUGHT IS GO FOR SUNDAY ONLEY NEXT TIMEWHIELST ITS NICE TO DREAM OF GETTING 300K OR 400K ON SATURDAY THE REALITY IS THERE ARE TOO MANY LOOSE CANNONS IN THE GAME SO SUNDAY ONE DAY MAY BE THE BETTER OPTION AND NO B AND B JUST GET THE TRAIN HOME ....

THERE YOU HAVE IT AND TONITE THERE IS A 6000 GT AT LUTON G WHO KNOWS UNKLE FESTER MAY HAVE A SPARE BAR MEAL TICKET

ithinkthereforeiamasiamifeelasifeelihaveemotionsasihaveemotionsicareasicareidispensepreferencesofrightandwrongandpreferancesofpossiblegoodoverevilandasidispencetheseoptunesidecreerewardandpunishmentformychoicesforiamallpowerfulandknowingbutwhatifimwrongonthefirstoneithinkthereforeiamtheniambackonthegolfballonthemoon.

NTBC.

130  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 05, 2017, 11:25:27 AM
AND ON TO THE LAST CHAPTER OD   OUR MAN IN DTD
I ALREADY POSTED THIS WHILE ON THE TRAIN FROM BEESTON TO LUTON PARKWAY BUT HAD TO PRESS POST AND JUMP OF THE TRAIN PRETTY SHARPISH AS MY STATION LOOMED UP ON ME AND I WAS STILL BLOGGING AWAY ....SO SOME WHERE OUT THERE IN THE ETHER THE MAY BE THE LOST DEAD SEA SCROLLS OF POKER LITERTURE WHICH AS I HIT POST AND THE LOGO FOR MIDLAND RAILWAYS FLASHED UP MY 40 MINS OF SHAKSPEARAN FLUSHED DOWN THE PAN ...WHILEST STOPPED AT A STATION AS WELL...

SO HERE WE GO
its sunday and im starting to hit good stuff 196 players 55 for the money , my stack is about 680k average is 400k ish we break the table and im in seat 2 on new table seat one a old boy of 70 plus starts telling me and any one that will listen what a luck box seat 7 is going on crap and hitting and nicking all the time....i keep my own council and nod not agreeing or other ,   blinds are 20k 20k with ante 20k so 50k out there for start of every hand   welcome to shove poker ...i limp with a5 suited as im certainley not raising with it and i want seat 8 to pish for his last 90k  he pushes but mr seat one calls ....now i have seen him go all in with nowt and cant rely on him to check it down even though we are 70 players left so i pass ...he shows k8 off mr all in has tj suited and makes a pair but i would have riverd a ace....
then again im the big blind and mr seat 7 has gone all in for his last 290k im going to call but seat 1 call before me and shows j9 off my kq suited would have won....
were in the money my stack is 320k i look down at a 10 off and shove all in seat eight who is chatting to the waitress all the time calls not seeing my action .....the writing is on the wall.....the dealer tells him he has to put in which he dose ...no chatting to waitress now ...he shows jq off ....im out of the game as seat 7 douse a loud verbal ffist pump ....and i think thank you tosser in seat 1 who has allowed this creton to still be in the game ...
and out of dtd into taxi ...into beeston and pub
TBC      JUST A LITTLE
131  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 04, 2017, 04:49:59 AM
THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP AT 8.38 AM IN THE MORNING THAT DONT INVOLVE THE INTERNET PORN ...PART ONE.
so its a odd time to update but i feel the urge to do it ,sunday morning i have the breakfast at hylands b and b the breakfast lounge is trapped in a time warp two little oldish ladies serve you [they would not look or sound out of place in acorn antiques ] i knock of some ceral with yogurt and there cooked breakfast then ask for more toast and coffee [the coffee comes in one of those funney cup type dispencers that you push the top rod button down to infuse the coffee] the lady brings only one slice of additional toast so my thought process tells me leave one pound tip not the two that i had in mind .....come on tom its only a slice of toast not a indication of how the day at dtd is going to play out...out of breakfast lounge which has the giant like eight foot by six picture of some factory work place where you can see what looks like workers in a uniform simalar to nurses standing by there clean and tidy work stations in some 1960s factory dedicated i think to the clothing industry ...all very tidy and neat showing how the industry is so very with it.   and im into the shower that isnot ensweet splish splash and out to taxi here i come dtd feed washed and ready to take all you can toss at me.....taxi driver seems to be trying to get into boot of car in front of him ,probly has not seen cash for whiplash films on tv .i tip him any way as the karma genies are all knowing and seeing.
into dtd there are a few luton players there but no mr and mrs    you naughty boy     maybe its there honey moon anaversity and they are making all the noise in some b and b of there own.and we play poker , hey im getting a few hands ... playing for maybe two hours starting stack at 100k has risen to 160k nice ....then not so nice im out....but at least i had some chances ........should i rebuy ....well lets think about that you have got on a train waddled your way across the rail way system dragging your suitcase/bag on wheels behind you like some demented womble of wimbeldon common wombat to arrive in nottingham [not knowing your tee shirt is drinking your stella in your suitcase] and you have to think should i re enter again......what else are you going to do .....go and sit in costa coffee...

so we re enter any semblance of a lean mean exocet guidance poker misssile is now gone ....alllthe xxxs and five entrys into the comp.....wtf......aaaahhhhhh.     
196 players 55 for the money and there are 148 now left .....i turn the corner i am getting some of the good stuff....the babble of self oppinated 22 and 26 some thing guys talking to there mates at your table with no regard for hey we are playing here can you shut the puck up as they talk about prauge and the backing they have from some guy if you show that you win on the hendon mob site,it all seems a bit less painful even amusing ....
we come to a crucial hand im under the gun and look down at AA what the puck ....mr delivery man have you dropped this of at the wrong address....i go into sneaky mode ala edna from the luton g i flat call the blind of 1200 when some poor sod makes a move im going to shove it right up them  ...5 players all flat in total ....o puck ....theres betting and at the turn with one card to come  of the flop matey shoves all in im in seat one hes in seat seven  theres no strait out there or pair there is three diamonds and im regretting slow playing my AA with no flush draw .....matey in seat nine is chanking to seat two ...o yes praug...o yes the 5 million gt...o yes every dam thing ....matey who has gone all in for 160 k  is waiting on me alone and all i can hear is mr self oppinion ....i say to the all in sorry this is taking time i have a hand and need to think and there is a lot going on ....mr self opinion ...quips in o sorry ,and takes the volume down a tiny bit but still keeps chanking ....i call mateys all in...he has one pair and a strait and flush draw so thats  20 cards working for him......i win
a short time later i damage mr chatty hes betting all the way as he has been all thru the game and the 2 pairs on the end i have kq for top pair good kicker he bets a good bet and i dwell up ....hes not chatting now....no prauge or simalar...i call eventualy and he turns over 34 and i hear the dealer say two pair ...my body action is as if im going to muck as all i can see is two low cards and my brain is telling me great mr opinion has made a set of threes and he was at it all the time ....wait a minite the dealer said two pair hes got a pair of with the two spades i turn my hand that i was about to muck face down over he glares at me with a was i just slow rolled look .....i think bridge build get over it....but decide not to give him my opinion as im too busy stacking chips
the break comes i treat my self to a latte and pack of mini cheddars ...class act here .....i have above average chips at 400k ish hmmmmmm     hmmmmmm

a bit like the big brother programe ...ITS 4.49AM SCRATCH LEFT NUT  AND BACK TO SLEEP.

TBC.
 
132  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 03, 2017, 08:30:19 AM
I DONT ASK FOR SPECIAL FAVOURS GOD BUT COME ON..
so i finished posting on blonde poker and whent to unpack tooth brush...bugger it one of the four tins of stella beer that i had in my wheelie suitcase [ thank you luton g ...card stamping has its benifits] has ruptured and the bottom of my suitcase is like a whinos arm pit no dout the cleeners at the b and b will think i am a smelly old tosser...also four tinnys was the right liquid supper amount now im a tin short......okay i know its nor brexit or imagration issues or terrorism or indeed will trump or korea kick of the world record tv viewing event but it was my tin of stella and now im a man down......    ........feeling the tin as i throw it it seems to be thiner metal so brilliant some toss pot in some multi mulit million brewery has had the genious idea of using less metal in the making of the tins.......what could possible go wrong......i do hope those tossers dont have owt to do with airplanes.
and outside to wait for taxi to dtd , first good read there is a guy just getting in his car i think to ask him is he for dtd but being shy and not out going i dont , i wait for taxi a oike that looks like hes just of the jeremy kyle show ..you know the one where you have a guy who is on drugs with tattoos all up his neck and he wants to know did his shop lifting wife steal his savings from the cabinet and is the new baby his or his step brothers or his dads or the milkmans  comes walking by as he passes and pulls some ear phones out of his pocket his wallet jumps onto the pavement and he walks on ....here we go good karma bribe number one ...i call after him and point at his wallet he grunts comes back two metres and picks it up , no thank you no cheers mate nothing....just like when over the years i have seen some one at roulete and at there feet there is a black chip or twenty pound note i have waved there attention to it and the same level of gratefullness is expressed as they pocket it and ignore you as they plow back into there own world ..

got to dtd taxi driver was a chatty guy who confessed he had bought a scratch card once but did not enjoy it so dousnt gamble himself,guy from b and b is just booking in ahead of me ..what a read..
and into poker game about 8 hands and i have a pair of nines the bourd is 447 with two spades i bet 1600 matey who flat called my raise to 800 before the flop calls turn a jack no flush i bet 2300 he calls river a nine that flushes i bet 4500 he makes it 13200 i think  call him only tom there are two hands that beet mine quad fours and house of jacks ..call him only...no i dont know how he plays...he may have a flush...or house of sevens...but if you raise tom he shoudnt call with a lesser hand ...so you are betting to lose only ...call only...call only...call only ...no you need chips tom you know you need to be more agressive and not miss out on these streets of value....      i raise to 30,000 he insta shoves all in i call he shows house of jacks i show house of nines the table douse a mantra chant of ..o you cant get away from that bad luck ect...i think yes i could of and should of but with bloody stella brewery pissing on your suitcase the karma is written....
so i re enter....im card dry 2 9 ...10 3 .....ccrap dela crap   guy on my right is at it but he owns the turn and river each time my chips are going down thw m1 its so brutal ....he small raises my big blind i defend with k3 suited flop k7 ten he small bets i have top pair and raise to 2400 he calls turn 8 no flush i bet 3600 he calls last card 8 no flush i bet 5400 he calls and shows 89 to make three eights ...misery card dry horrible table moves it continues and im out again and over to frankie and benies just to get away from the torture ....its very lively in there i order a pizza and coffee i feel a little bad about not spending the money for food at dtd but i just craved getting out for a bit...a kiddie is having a birthday so a candle in a jam jar of a milk shake with ice cream is trayed over to his table for him and his little play mates the mum is taking photos with phone as the house plays happy birthday followed by congratilations by cliff richard many of the diners glance over and smile kids from other tables look over to see who is having all the attention....i see the menu the ice cream milk shakes are 4.95 each the tray of 5 of them just cost the mum 20 quid ...i munch my pizza nice ....o look another birthday boy or girl and the same thing only this time cliff richard is turned down and faded out pretty dam fast i see the mum with photo taking is not best pleasesd but hey you have spent your 4.95 x 5 times for little jonnys birthday trea so you can have pics for face book and to show little jonny what a great time he had and it was almost back to back birthday events come on we have to make yours shorter    they should have gone to MOES from the simpsons he did a great happy birthday routine   ....we have got your money ,build a bridge and get over it ...mmmmm probley have shares in stella brewery.
and back into dtd for 7pm issue got my 100k upto 180k then wibble wobble whehay not this time im out...taxi into beer smelly room two tins a sandwich and three muffins ...i catch a glimpse of my self in mirror ...not a good look ...life is what you make it                      a bit of a balls up thus far                    see what tommorrow brings............

one of the astrounauts on the moon   [yes i know we never landed there and the grassy knoll and the twin towers and the 1% own 80%]  hit a golf ball with a club and there fore set the longest drive in golf as with no or very little gravity it will go a long way [not sure if its in gunnessbook of records]   [ not sure if gunness are cheap skates on there tins  ]      i think i am that golf ball .
see what tommorow brings in the way of self mental flagulation.

youdonthavetobedaftmadcrazyorstupidtolikepokeryouwillneedtobemadcrazydaftandstupidtoexpectpokertolikeyoubacksheisthebiggestwhorethatneverappeardeonthegermykyleshow.... 
133  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: December 02, 2017, 01:14:18 PM
HERE WE GO ANOTHER GROUND HOG DAY
i have arrived in beeston at the hylands b and b ,you know the realy cheap one only 35 a nite including breakfast, i do know that a lot of players have moved on to better bunking down placements [that reminds me appoligise for calling you ian at the goliath richard p ,brain was on walk about]     and the reason to be here is to have a decent go at the 50k guarantee held at the DTD....

playing at luton is bareable but hey it aint going to happen there is it , what has been happening there ...lively dealers choice game the other night with over 20k on the table...unkle festers love child the room manger still acting like scrooge with the free bar meal vouchers but hey some of us have onle been loyal for 25 years plus...lucky allan popping in must give him some hair advice to grow it longer like me so it can brush over the gleeming bit yes you look a bit scruffy until its long enouth but once done well worth it..
some dam good dealers at luton g now .....rarely see his chopyness there and when he dose pop in he hardly talks to say hi or owt...hmmmmm .....celtic has a good escuse as he is in sunny parts ,apoligise to him also as i think i accused him of being a crap welsh poker player last time i saw him ,only 50% right ..


so back to dtd whats the plan ......try hard....win some cash....post details here.....use cash to enter better comps and sit down with chanderer at the DC game.......


and now to call taxi to take me to dtd.

134  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: thoughts on: May 16, 2017, 09:41:33 AM
Well be careful of what you wish for ,a bit like the film with jack nickolson and hes chopping a door down with a axe in the middle of a secluded hotel to get at his family ..i think the quote was ...heres jonny...
so coming soon warts and all
poker ...how it started at luton
the good the bad the snugley
poker at luton whats next
shortley followed by the end of the world a gap of 888,billion trillion quadrillion years and we all crawl out of the slime and start again..i hope i havnt spoiled the ending there.
coming soon,promise o okay threaten.
135  Poker Forums / Diaries and Blogs / Re: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary on: April 02, 2017, 11:34:45 AM
hi my little chuckle boners ,long time no post which i will try to rectify soon .as the moment i feel the need to  splurge the latest NEWS good morning vietnam style ....you know robin williams saying here is there news ....today at 4.00pm nothing happened at jimmy shoes 12 people wernt killed by a bomb and the north vc didnt take cambodia ....probly not geographicaly correct apart frot th jimmy shoes i know    but thats authers eye for you or finger the way i type/

so here we go
................got thru to dtd 100k gt game on one shot yesterday.................
....................tried to book bb too late....even hylands turned mary and soon to be child away without the offer of a barn....
..................had too drive home ..petrol station just before M1 not open ....found one other side of M1 but 132.99 a litre.....WTF AM I IN A TIME WARP FORWARD....
...............WOKE UP 9.30AM ...PHONED BROTHER to drive me to DTD as im toss tyred.......risking realy bad fuck you carma as i sold it to him as a jolly ...........didnt tell him the game for £25 with 5k gt is 8.00pm.
....................am i doomed to lose for carma infringment ..........
..........average chips 120000.ive got 243,000
one time poker elves and pixes..one time...
MORE SOON EITHER WE COCKADOODLE DOOING OR THE OTHER OPTION   ,
whatsthedifferancebetweenawankandacheesesandwichansweroneyouchoosetodoyourselfandoneyouwishsomeoneelsewoulddoforyou..
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