i have a plan to buy some cheep old bed sheets from a charity shop,money will benifit charities and mentioning it might come in handy latter if problems arise,
any way with sheets im planning to dye them sort of pinkish ,then when dry get a potato cut it in half and use it as a print block to print white gloss paint onto said sheets to make them into a pokka dot pattern white on pink////
then with some primative stapling make some jackets to cover the bollards around traffick round abouts, you know the ones with the blue directional arrow about three foot high and 12 inches square...will leave arrow visable of cource,not into anachy
then april fools day of to chosen round about on with jackets
should give a loud of motorists a laugh, or whiplash as they do a double take.
wonder if it will be worth putting on u tube....

just phoned luton g to ask if any blondettes where within hailing distance to buy me into comp so that i get the extra early bird chips and was told by callum its three card irish  only  four runners so far ,pub latter then innit.
i think i will have to cut back on my donations to the staff tip box at luton ,i can only assume they have too much money as when i promised one of the dealers that if i won a seat into the 550 quid  deepstack i would give him a chance to win 30 quid for tip box with a cost you nothing propersition bet ,so comes the time were both there i state the rules ,three trys who can throw a polersterine cup thurerest and have it land standing up ....he sizes it up ,he holds the cup out , he dithers ,he dothers ,he then says he wants me to go first.....now let me think about that......im giveing him a chance to win 30 quid if he can toss a cup in a patticler way , it cant lose him any money and he wants me to show him how first.....i declined his kind offer to go first where upon he announces ...he wont bother trying and as he reckons i must have a plan that he cant win.....so of he walks..
durrr posivitive mental attitude rules ,not...must have too much in tip box and wont lower himself to actualey engageing brain to get more.....next prop bet will be for waitresses i think.

thanks for the hard work and entertaiment richard and caroline.
it was very pleasing to see at first hand the proffessional working relationship that turns a event into ...the event,   clearly the special chemistery betwean the two of you that so many of the poker players were commenting on adds that special spark....you are without dout the ..sonny and cher of blogging...the ike and tinna of of fiery retort..the murdochk and some little chinese fire cracker of global media influences...the charles and cammilla of the face of poker.
so long as you share the cost of buying the ice creems and neither of you forces the other to allways have the tap end on bath nights......we the loyal poker subjects can allways know that the poker empire is in safe hands....LONG LIVE THE KING AND QUEEN  OF POKER BLOGG.....and little prince bernard when he arrives.

TWO CARDS HAVE TO BE SHOWN TO CLAIM A POT,IF YOU RELAX THAT RULE HOW LONG BEFORE A CHEAT THROWS HIS CARDS INTO THE MUCK WHEATHER ITS A PLAY THE BOARD SITUATION OR NOT AND ACTUALEY KEEPS ONE CARD BACK IN ORDER TO CHEAT THEN WHEN FEARFUL HES ABOUT TO BE EXPOSED MUCKS THREE CARDS STRAIGHT INTO DISCARDED PILE IF DEALER IS SLOPPY,....PLAYER PASSES DEALER SHOULD SPREAD CARDS FACE DOWN TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE TWO THEN INTO MUCK

a diary not worth writeing uunless someone wants to steal from it or rip it up..........im onley just getting started.....should be barred by march

on the other hand if your a excentric millionaire do you like your newspapers with a ironed crease or without,sir

what the f""" do you mean this diary keeps delivering ,you irellavant scraping of the arse end of a used condom ...do you think im your bitch or summit , like your own personal pizza deliery boy ,or some poor shoe shine boy from the bad old days in america when i walked shoulder to shoulder with the good doctor king and he did his speach I HAVE A DREAM which he plaugerised of me when we had a few too many sherberts one night and i told him about a dream i had about a blinding poker game  where all coloured chips could play together and they woudnt be judged by there colour but by the value of there content...is that it yea...im just here to amuse you...to keep you smileing while you wait for next 1 dollar sit and go ....you make me sick ,people like you should have a blacksmiths anvil tied to a piece of rope with four possible ropes leading from it one of which is tied to your balls then the anvil is ballanced on the edge of a tower block with bird seed on one end cometh the pidgeion to eat seed of drops anvil rope spins out and you wont know if your balls are popping of oit without you until the rope finishes spinning out,that will wipe the smile of your face ....in fact i have  been sick im going to put it in the fridge ,invite you around for tea then when i say look there out the window isnt that phil ivy being rodgered by twenty dwarfs in order to win a propersition bet and you look out the window ...ill put it in your tea.....

monday gone 9pm at home scratching bollox instead of playing poker clearley my telacanesis powers to make all my poker chums who dont know my phone number, phone me up and say not playing tonight tom , come on in ill treat you ,needs fine tuneing.....as a idea when i do get out of this rut im in and get some poker money on my hip ,im up for hireing a mini bus getting about ten luton regs and going to dtd for one of there 100 pound or 300 pound events, all booking into a cheap bb and supporting each other at the game ...costs shared..
to spice it up a bit we could hang a banner along the side of the minibus saying EDL works outing ,as we leave luton ,not telling chompy and giveing him a window seat.





NOT WAVEING>>>>WASHING CARS IN CARPARK

most computers dont have anything appearing automaticaly on there screens unless the user is watching porn

ok clare you draw a picture of a every day object put it in your pocket ,i will try to draw the same when im at luton and see you,
this dose not constitute taking you to the pictures

in a attempt to improve my storie telling prowess,before somone feels compelled to take drastic action i will put my jokes here and reply to any enquires that are posted here....incidently chompy my cement mixer is called barrelley a bit like darel only with the letters brley and not with the letter d
on a seperate matter i would like the panels thoughts on the following ...just a few days ago i was watching a flop at the poker game i had already passed my hand for the ante and the flop came down kh as i looked on to see what the first players action would be i heard the dealer announce the flop kh and nothing else im thinking where the hell did i see the anyway no betting kerching next card hmmmm mentioned it to player beside me who looked suitabley pressed,....still more recentley at a break in a comp i said to nick  the judge whats your favourite card ad he says,i spread the deck slide them about and turn over the ad kerching....okay not conclusive proof iknow but just think in the sixties the CIA and KGB set up multi million dollar resurch fascilitys into ESP TELECANESIS ETC and here we are many hours at a time under all sorts of conditions looking at the back of cards and wondering what is the next card going to be ...surley if a ability that we dont fulley understand by which a person could know information without seeing it exists with the ammount of hours poker players play it may occur if the person has the ability and the conditions are right....im not suggesting any such descendents of alliens or anything but stranger things could be closer to the truth.......if you look at any of the pros on tv do they have any alien like features ,they may not actualey know why they have such good reads on other players,but it could be ET powers ,especialily the long tall gangley ones that have a inate understanding of computers and numbers ,odds,percentages ect and feel the need to dress in a almost uniform way possibley a throw back to there heritage when they first collonised the earth in there stripey space suits....,,,all i can say is keep watching the skys you never know...also if anyone knows a way to get goverment funding to pursue this as yet un resurched dimension of science which could clearley benifit mankind i will put my self forward for it ...entrey to about 100 world class poker comps should be a reasonable test selection...

remember its not only smoking that damages your health

on a heavy plant moveing and excavator dateing web site ,january from a poker view point has been very flat ....a bit like a very flat sort of thing that is extra flat not just in the middle but flat all over..if you imagen the race track that you see in films where its a salt bed area in i think america and they do time trials for realy fast cars and bikes and its just a very flat white expance that seems to streach for ever and when you look into the distance your view seems to shimmer and if the was a object a long way of it seems to take foever to get any closer like the scene in lawrence of arabia before peter otoole goese native and hes drinking at a well and omar sharreef aproaches on a camel and the native with peter otoole looks at the object that is approaching but seemms to get no close thru the shimmering distance then runs for his long barreled rifle but omar sharreef shoots him right thru the forehead.....it would be ass flat as that ,but thank you for asking.

haveing been presured for some considerable time by all my fiends at my local poker club to write a diary i have finaly got around to it.....clearly anything i write will be far supperior to all other diaries so far written and indeed any that could possible be written in the future...therefor i have taken the unusual step of limiting myself to a set number of words per month this will allow the reader to savour and relish and if they wish to apply the wisdom within the words to there every day life,something that will be a refreshing spring of cool water in a parched wilderness of stagnent self flagalating egotishikal teedium and borrowed misquotes that they find in other diaries that abound and assault the poker internet ...so without further todo and to kick it of a double dose of words for this month.....THE DIARY

 CHAPTER ONE

I THINK

just got in after bubbling at g ..9 th place
...as a bonus should i lose to carmel for a donation to the marie curie fund some lucky blondete can spray paint my face red ....i will bring the spray can with me ...

a copper goese home early and catches his wife in bed commiting unnatural acts with three men,hello,hello,hello he says whats going on here,
whats the matter says his wife ...you not talking to me

Nein!