i cant find the message i left yesterday wiith poker song words etc 
has that simon cowell nicked it,or has chompy flipped of to the states with it to enter     americas got tallent, 

wed 13 th  11 am    its bloody snowing so no luton tonight great , used to be a lad could go to pub etc but there all three quid a pint plus you cant mouth of like you can at a poker table ,well not unless you want some punk getting the notion that your dissing him man,
so with all this spare time on my hands i can get the forums opinion on my smash hit poker song wot i have written innit.the idea was originaly to do a skit like the troops did with the song   do you know the way to ammorrillo, with film of locals from luton around poker tables etc,if we could get dina the tv poker dealer to feature in it all the better,might have to let her mate nina the 5 beatle appear just to appeal to the  dick lynch demo graphic.

so on to the song
poker patter

she says

i lost my lover to a poker table
to stop him im not able
with the hours that were ours ,he now carresses the cards


i lost my lover to a poker table
he says hes not osessive he only plays four nights a week
the rest of the time he needs for sleep

he says

ive got the nuts
it cant be beat
gotta play it cool as my heart skips a beat

ive got the nuts
first man checks
secound one too
i check to keep up the charade
next man bets
now to get paid

one man calls another too
i raise all in what else could i do
to keep me honest they all give me a spin
turn and river no danger there
as i turn my cards over they all declare

hes got the nuts
what a lucky fish
i wish it was me
hes got the nuts
icant belive im beat
must be that lucky seat

hes got the nuts
biggest pot of the night
whod have thought a fish that can bite

she says

ive found a new lover who treats me real good
you stick with yours by the way shes made of wood
well see if your able just you and your poker table

good players dont always win
they just lose less times than bad players


end of song to tummultiouse applause and woemen throwing under garments on stage
so all we need is a couple of people that can sing and about twenty poker players to be in the video ,and a poker club to let us film in there premises[exelent addvertiseing oppatunity for any club] o plus a camera  and music then we upload it onto utube and any other tube       so any ideas to make this happen    get in touch
looks like snow is easing up maybe luton tonite

g casino luton [again] there is a gentelman who has started to come back to the poker scene at luton who i shall call lovely george xxx. it would be no exageration to say that when he gets the call to the pearly gates rather than think thats a result and get in there fast,he will stand outside and argue with st peter.
the same man many years ago in the old luton g club hit a top full house on the flop against his all in opponient,as his opponient stompped away from the table he called after him dont go you might hit runner runner,so back to the table he comes the dealer who was about to give the chips to lovely george xxx now deals the last two cards on the flop
runner runner .much merrieyment was taking place with lauther and mickey takeing etc then lovely george xxx declares  im so unlucky the exact same thing happened to him four years earleyer,which was greeted with a chorus of   so why did you call him back.

so back to present times its a comp after christmas,lovely george has raised pre flo and got one lady caller,flop comes  lovely george min bets and the lady goes allin lovely george snap calls,the lady calls out ive got a set lovely george tells the two players either side of him he has a set of aces then quiries with the dealer is it 4100 and 75 chips or is it 4100 and 50 chips,we the players that heard his declaration of a set of aces tell him three times for flips sake turn your hand over stop flaffing about over the chips,he evently shows his hand the lady takes it all with good grace    as did lovely george until the river gave her quads,lovely george chorus   im so unlucky etc
i think it was einstein that said god dousnt play dice
he might have added  god dousnt like smart arses

G casino Luton Wednesday £50 comp; All the blondetts were viaing for positions to be infront of eachother in the league Gham made the fatal mistake of going into his final hand with queens against my jacks against a ladies pair of tens. The inevitable happened with a jack appearing on the flop. The good news is that he will apparently be appearing at Saturdays £150 comp dressed as a clown (something to do with loosing a bet). I shall be bringing the usuall picture boards with all the poker players faces from years passed plus two disposable cameras in order to properly record the antics of this wannabe coco (copies of photos could be available).

Possibly as proof of universal justice i went on to make the final where the blinds were 10000 20000 i suggested we all take 800 each and play for the rest. unfortuinitly mr accountant who had about 300000chips to the average stack of 180000 couldnt see that it was anyones game and declined the offer. A few hands later he pipes up if we do a deal it will be £997 each so we again say lets take 800 each unfortanatley the cards are dealt i bet my jacks strait into the big blinds kings and am reduced to 50000 chips,how im not sure but mr accountant manages to go all in and is next out,closely followed by me,ba humbug

happy new year all
please remember to state size of coco  photos when requesting them
4 X 4
4 X 6
or ooster size that can be seen on trailer on m1

it was a few nights before xmas at luton g, i had taken the precaution of bringing my own supply of ballons as i rightly anticipated the luton g would have b a for the poker players that support them all year, what joy to see little dick lynch bouncing a balloon about like a little puppy thats never sees snow,or the wag that rubbed a balloon and stuck it on a post above yank dennises head ,good company good poker staff not makeing too many mistakes carmel going table to table getting every one a christmas drink on the house.scrub that last one i was geting carried away still 3 out of 4 not bad.

then it happended were going on a break and the rounding up of chips is being done my self and the player on my right who i shall call gham to protect his identtety has  i have for the round up he informs the staff with a nod of sage like wisdom that he gets the round up chip so the staff give it to him ,the card room manageress who i shall call the nana or the 5 beatle to protect her idenity confirms its right then when asked again is it bridge order that decides changes her decision and gives the chip to me.

a small occurance on the face of it you may think but wait gham is a pro player he must know bridge order is he the sort of man that when shareing a kitkat with two friends he allways gets two fingers to there one, would he take someone elses suppermarket trolley and keep the pound coin,would he go carol singing for charity then take the cost of a luxery streach limo out off the box to get him home via dtd,
no i think he just made a mistake ,probley distracted by one of the girlie poker players we shall call great bod to protect her idenity who was wearing a verry nice dress instead of jeans ,we just have to work on getting the leather jacket removed,

merry xmas all
snats fingers must be itching to reply

just like the well known sticker    shit happens  or   my other car is a Mercade's,
i feel its time to have poker stickers on the great british car bumpers,with that in mind im inviting ideas , my own are listed below

poker professional                    einstein slow
car for salel                             plays aces

poker players                          the m25 taught
think tipping is a                      me how to slow roll
city in china

Olympic poker                         
trainers not allowed

official god loves poker players
so please stop calling

about monday i was playing poker at luton,on my table was a man well respected for his knowledge of all things equine.having about 2000 chips to his 6500 i suggested a last longest bet at 50 to 1.his reply was  if i had a tenner on it .
i ran it past my one grey cell  yes sounds like lose 10 pounds or win 500 that will do nicely pig .the next hand was out which i mucked and told my new best British friend he must let me give him the ten pounds in case i lose,also that his only out was to go all in this hand and lose before our bet started at the beginning of the next hand
he had a better idea   he changed his mind   no bet
i pointed out we had a verball agreement to no avail
i offered to go all iln the next three hands in a row  to no avail
yes its crazy to offer 50 to 1 but just imagine if the little voice in his head had said sod it my word is my bound like Maggie thatcher this lady is not for turning.

the table would come to life players would sit a couple of inches taller apart from me as i would have a handicap pushing me down into my seat players from other tables would come offering sage wisdom ending with equine references about a donkey.his chum with the golden locks would abandon his table to shake his head and say haven't i taught you any thing.all would watch as if a baby hedgehog was trying to cross the m25 willing it on to victory or to join his flat mate.at that moment we are alive,there is no credit crunch,we are kings,we only tried Viagra for a laugh,nothing can stop us ,a great moment in poker history tis in the making.

but no he changed his mind ,what if Mr churchill changed his mind
we will fight them on the beaches ,we will fight them in the streets .no Ive changed my mind lets give it to the germans
in the words of homer Simpson when talking to tony the mafia don who  wanted his cut of Marge's cookie bussines     for shame tony for shame

thanks for matterial for this article go to
babe,Paris Hilton,Maggie thatcher,sonic the hedgehog,the whole cast of WW2,
and homer Simpson.

i found myself doing something i havent done for twenty years,

it all started at aspers about six weeks ago a pal with a merc plus cash offered to pay and split any winnings,so i park my skip on wheels at toddington services and
get chauffered to aspers;on entering were given a tenpound voucher for slots plus ten for a house bet;profit on bets thirty pounds each.saw billy who works there he promises he will be at luton following friday to play ,he dousnt show up but a 50 fine for parking at toddington douse,

with 30 cash played sat sun cheapies at luton ,got into 50 100 at luton,won some
decided to head for 300 at vic,got thru to last 27 going back friday,

enter the kebab,vinne,graham and me decide to go 50 yards up edgeware road to kebab shop,secound time for one of us .
its 4.30 am  a  aselection of local characters are milling about ,one of which out of respect to his countrymen goes a full thirty feet up the pavemant  to spew his guts on pavement,then hes back talking to his mate and waveing his fag and smoke around the skewer of meat,the gordon ramsey credentials of our chosen eatery established we have three kebabs and two cans of coke ,not diet as the were out of it.

so there we are doing some thing from yesteryear standing around a black city of westminster litter bin,our table,eating kebabs,drinking coke,talking poker hands,planning train journeys home ,good job we were without a pack of cards.
 subway next time

thinking of writeing a book on poker
how to play poker on a shoe string,without a shoe or a string