So last night I venture to play at my local casino in a private game. I'm getting run over a bit (it's an uncapped £0.50/1 game and I sat with around £4344.50 to begin proceedings).

So I'm now sat with £213.50 when I receive after the £2 straddle and I just limp with to disguise my hand and trap someone. I've also limped the past 23 consecutuve hands. My plan goes a little wrong as there are 4 callers behind me to the flop. It comes a jackpot   and SB bets £12. I say to the table 'Fuck this stupid game, I hate poker, let's gamble so I can get out of here' and do a Phil Hellmuth (he's my hero) style shoveling of my chips into the pot trying to look like I have something like the bare ace of spades. Everyone passes quickly and one guy exposes his hand when he folds as   . I'm like wow how can you fold that but also pleased because someone now fold top pair as the way I've played the hand combined with my beautiful speech looks like I have the nut flush draw so with two more spades already gone, I'm gonna be quids in! It gets to the original bettor and he snap calls and quickly tables   . I keep my poker face on and don't table my hand until the turn and river are dealt as I'm supersticious. One guy calls me a 'puffoon' but I think he's just jealous as I'm the one stacking those chips.

Later on in the night I again limped UTG with pocket 8's and mr puffoon guy who was the table shortstack with £144 got his chips in on the 8 5 2. Why did he do this you might ask? Well when the flop came out and I saw I had the absolute nuts I slammed my fist on the table as though I can't hit a flop. I think that affected his decision to move all his chips in with just middle set.

With the coolers and sick beats I was getting, I should have probably gone home with nothing. However, my speech play and acting earnt me almost £1,000.

Just sayin'.

lol, vnh.

How many runners did this get?

What galfond has to say about it http://www.bluefirepoker.com/blog.aspx?blogid=25

I'll still play if you can't find anyone good ;-)

I don't drink however, but I am prepared to wear a hat of your choice.

I know I'm not much of a blonde, having barely made posts into double figures and, I'm rubbish, but if you need someone to make up the numbers, I'll play. If you find someone more suitable, I don't mind.

I'm sure they'd be delighted if you walk away with chips, since they can get money on the interest on the cash they hold, and if you lose them, it's happy days for them.

I'd be double careful with DTD- if you found out that (say) they had sacked everyone, shut up shop and called the administrators in on Monday, it wouldn't be the biggest shock ever, would it?

I love dusk till dawn, but they do seem determined to lose as much money as possible sometimes.

After running a big overlay last time they ran one of these £1000 tourneys, they seem to have decided to lose all of their money in satellites this time.

yes