The Confessional

[M3boy]

OK

It was the last hand i was going to play at the gutshot, it was 7am!!

I had suited something (a i think) and I decided to raise pot from late position as I had been all night.

Got one caller.

Flop comes

The guy bets the pot, he was relatively quiet so i put him on AQ minimum.

Anyway I called his pot bet

Turn came

He again bets the pot and I again call

River comes

This time he checks and i ask "how much do you have left" he replies £120

"OK" i said " Ill set u all in"

He calls and shows his AQ

I flip over my J 5

 

FISH!!!!!

[Heid]

OK, so this wasn't poker related, but it was very stupid

I was washing up last night - just got in from work, and had a particularly dirty glass that I was trying to get clean, stuck the cloth in the glass and stuck me hand in after it - glass broke, and spent the next few hours at casualty, and now have stitches in me pinky of my right hand!

Moral of the story? get a fecking dishwasher you tight cow

Heid
xx

[TightEnd]

I was, back in the days I was married, rushing around like a blue bottomed fly trying to get ready to take the family on a winter holiday to Wengen in Switzerland

You know how it is, get the kids ready, padlocks on the luggage, check passports etc

ten minutes before the taxi arrives I'm carrying my daughter downstairs when...OUCH! I step on an upturned plug, with only my socks on

No time to go to casualty, bandage it up, limp onto the plane, limp off the plane, foot swells up, trip to Swiss casualty, costs a fortune, foot immobilised....family go off skiing every day while I sit there, waiting for them to come back

Doh!

Moral of the story.....put your hoover away when you've finished using it!!!

[yt]

Out on a field, on my own, kicking a football around. Day before new season starts for local pub team. Have a kick at the ball, catch the earth, twist knee and follow through, hyper-extending knee. Spend next two years limping, having two operations and various scans and physio. Wake up every morning wondering if my knee will be hurting today (7 years later) find that is, as it aches every fecking day. Can run but can't play football anymore. Cycling actually hurts more than running now. Put on 4 stone.
Moral of the story - don't kick footballs (or the earth directly beneath them!)

[ariston]

If we are going down the accident route I have about 500 as I was accident prone when I was younger. Funniest is probably argueing with an ambulance crew cutting me out of a stock car- they were convinced I had broken my left leg (in fact an old injury) and wouldn't be told is was my right foot/ankle that was actually broken. In front of a large crowd I wouldn't allow them to put left leg in a splint and was kicking it around in the air from on a stretcher to show it was alright 

[yt]

In front of a large crowd I wouldn't allow them to put left leg in a splint and was kicking it around in the air from on a stretcher to show it was alright 

Isn't that like the knight in monty python?! lol

as we are going down that route my other bad one was at school 15 years old, sitting on the floor in a drama 'lesson'. I had my arms behind my body supporting myself (you know legs out, bum on the floor arms behind and elbows locked) a couple of my friends were pissing about in front of me and one of them was pushed onto my chest full force. As my elbow was behind my body, straight and 'locked' it had to give and bent backwards 90 degrees. Elbow was broken and as you can imagine the joint was basically fecked. It hurt so much I fainted afterwards! 4 weeks in plaster then 6 months getting full extension back again (at 15 and it being my right arm, my love life took a bit of a dive )

[ifm]

during a sports day at school i threw a javelin and hit a pal in the leg, i know it wasn't funny for him but i was p***ing myself seeing him lying on the field with it sticking out of his thig, he made a full recovery.

[Colchester Kev]

(at 15 and it being my right arm, my love life took a bit of a dive )

Brilliant 

[ariston]

Another thread goes off at a tangent but OK heres another one from my chilhood files.
Best pal was forced to do housework before we went out (we were both about 13) and had to hoover. He hoovered upstairs then down the stairs and we were done, now the hoover they had was one with a poweful recoil on it so he pressed the button to wind the wire in (we were in too much of a rush to go upstairs and unplug it), the wire pulled tight the plug unplugged its self took two bounces on the stairs and hit my pal straight in the face. He staggered back with the three prongs surrounding his eye and the hoover literally reeling him in- as above could have been serious but I was obviously pissing myself laughing.

[Rod Paradise]

2 bad ones - both of which will upset the blokes......

When I was a kid I bird-nested (ie collected eggs) - one time, my mate & I were after woodpigeon eggs in a forestry wood - they grow pines & spruces really close together so they grow straight & with minimal side branches. So to climb to the nest needed a 'move one limb only' rule - ie always have 3 branches either under foot - or being clung on to - otherwise they'd break.... anyway - my mate got quite high up & put his hand over the edge of the nest, and the pigeon was still in it. It flew up, he panicked & waved both hands at it, the branches below his feet both broke & he fell about 15-20 feet, stripping all lower branches of the tree with his groin & inner-thighs  - it wasn't a pretty sight - we carried him to the edge of the woods then ran to get help - he walked like John Wayne for weeks. We were scared at the time but it didn't stop us taking the piss out of him after 

The other one was in a barn, climbing about the rafters looking for swallows nests. One guy decided to jump into the big pile of hay - soon we're all doing it - until one guy landed & screamed - he'd kebabed his happy-sack on one tine of a pitchfork - another run for help one that one.

PS _ I know bird-nesting isn't a good thing - which is why we grew out of it very quickly - BUT we learned more about the countryside than almost any kid nowadays!!

[yt]

PS _ I know bird-nesting isn't a good thing - which is why we grew out of it very quickly - BUT we learned more about the countryside than almost any kid nowadays!!

I'd rather kids today were bird nesting than hanging around the streets/shops or 'happy slapping'.
Little hood-rat b'stds

[Royal Flush]

tikay, M3Boy was the caller with A3..He had a boat on the turn and a bigger boat on the river too...how he didn't reraise and set Robert all in I'll never know!!

Now why would i re raise his pot bet here? I only have the 2nd nuts, and am only getting called if he had the 9 - which he did

Thats why i love having you on my cash tables!!

A3 on a 9933A board! 2nd nuts!!

Suppose Quad 9's 9's full of A's 9's full of 3's. Which of those 2 does 3's full of A's beat?!

[yt]

tikay, M3Boy was the caller with A3..He had a boat on the turn and a bigger boat on the river too...how he didn't reraise and set Robert all in I'll never know!!

Now why would i re raise his pot bet here? I only have the 2nd nuts, and am only getting called if he had the 9 - which he did

Thats why i love having you on my cash tables!!

A3 on a 9933A board! 2nd nuts!!

Suppose Quad 9's 9's full of A's 9's full of 3's. Which of those 2 does 3's full of A's beat?!

You missed A's full of 9's 

[ifm]

quad 3's?

[yt]

9999A
3333A
999AA
99933
333AA
So 5th nuts then