From what I know of the Midwest these could well be for real.........
17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day
15. If I can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well
11. I still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison Now
6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Were Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
#1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
Author