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Author Topic: Joke!!  (Read 314932 times)
mulhuzz
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« Reply #765 on: December 02, 2011, 04:03:51 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:01:46 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on December 02, 2011, 03:10:43 PM
Quote from: FUN4FRASER on December 02, 2011, 03:09:21 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 29, 2011, 09:43:40 PM
Get your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

Any truth in the rumour the same dyslexic went to a Toga Party dressed as a Goat ?

Yes, and he became a pimp and bought a warehouse.
And when he went to the WC in South africa and blew a Zulufella?

 
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boldie
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« Reply #766 on: December 02, 2011, 04:04:32 PM »
I heard he studied poetry for a while...was even published!

Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
RED-DOG
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« Reply #767 on: December 02, 2011, 04:08:57 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:04:32 PM
I heard he studied poetry for a while...was even published!

Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.

Fable us. Weld on.
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #768 on: December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM »
Nice one boldie. I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.

Scottish advent calendar:
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #769 on: December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM »
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.


Racist!
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #770 on: December 02, 2011, 04:20:37 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.


Racist!

lol. My mum is irish and my dad half polish, I currently live in Preston, you're currently more scottish than me!

I'm guessing the problems aren't there for those in NW europe who learn english as kids in school, you just absorb it naturally. If you move to an anglophone country you'll find it a breeze!
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #771 on: December 02, 2011, 04:25:35 PM »
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:20:37 PM
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.


Racist!

lol. My mum is irish and my dad half polish, I currently live in Preston, you're currently more scottish than me!

I'm guessing the problems aren't there for those in NW europe who learn english as kids in school, you just absorb it naturally. If you move to an anglophone country you'll find it a breeze!

And TBF in Scotland it doesn't matter of your English is at the level of a 5YO slow-witted child as most Scottish people are at the same level.



MrsB obviously not included in the above generalisation about Scottish people.
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #772 on: December 02, 2011, 04:29:13 PM »
lol (runs and hides)

Did you just change your signature? Shocked

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16000340
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #773 on: December 02, 2011, 04:30:48 PM »
Yeah, obv stole it from someone (as I do with all my best, and most of my worst, material)

That's a cracking story,
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« Reply #774 on: December 09, 2011, 05:54:17 PM »
Sales of advent calendars are down this year.

Experts say their days are numbered.
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« Reply #775 on: December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM »
I phoned the police the other day.

"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
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« Reply #776 on: December 09, 2011, 07:05:41 PM »
Mrs Red was complaining because I wouldn't put something Christmasy on the telly. So I put V Rally on the snow stage.
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« Reply #777 on: December 09, 2011, 08:05:24 PM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on December 02, 2011, 03:10:43 PM
Quote from: FUN4FRASER on December 02, 2011, 03:09:21 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 29, 2011, 09:43:40 PM
Get your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

Any truth in the rumour the same dyslexic went to a Toga Party dressed as a Goat ?

Yes, and he became a pimp and bought a warehouse.

Then he heard the call of the devil and spent all night worshipping Santa..
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« Reply #778 on: December 09, 2011, 09:23:16 PM »
Quote from: sharplea on December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM
I phoned the police the other day.

"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."

lol
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« Reply #779 on: December 10, 2011, 02:51:53 AM »
Quote from: sharplea on December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM
I phoned the police the other day.

"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."

Cheesy
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