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Joke!!
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Topic: Joke!! (Read 315016 times)
mulhuzz
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 3022
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #765 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:03:51 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:01:46 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on December 02, 2011, 03:10:43 PM
Quote from: FUN4FRASER on December 02, 2011, 03:09:21 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 29, 2011, 09:43:40 PM
Get your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.
Any truth in the rumour the same dyslexic went to a Toga Party dressed as a Goat ?
Yes, and he became a pimp and bought a warehouse.
And when he went to the WC in South africa and blew a Zulufella?
Logged
boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #766 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:04:32 PM »
I heard he studied poetry for a while...was even published!
Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.
Eye strike the quays and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.
A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.
Logged
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 47024
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #767 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:08:57 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:04:32 PM
I heard he studied poetry for a while...was even published!
Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.
Eye strike the quays and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.
A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.
Fable us. Weld on.
Logged
The older I get, the better I was.
ManuelsMum
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 1163
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #768 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM »
Nice one boldie. I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.
Scottish advent calendar:
Logged
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #769 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM »
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.
Racist!
Logged
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
ManuelsMum
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 1163
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #770 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:20:37 PM »
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.
Racist!
lol. My mum is irish and my dad half polish, I currently live in Preston, you're currently more scottish than me!
I'm guessing the problems aren't there for those in NW europe who learn english as kids in school, you just absorb it naturally. If you move to an anglophone country you'll find it a breeze!
Logged
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #771 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:25:35 PM »
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:20:37 PM
Quote from: boldie on December 02, 2011, 04:13:26 PM
Quote from: ManuelsMum on December 02, 2011, 04:11:23 PM
I really feel sorry for anyone learning english later in life, very quirky language.
Racist!
lol. My mum is irish and my dad half polish, I currently live in Preston, you're currently more scottish than me!
I'm guessing the problems aren't there for those in NW europe who learn english as kids in school, you just absorb it naturally. If you move to an anglophone country you'll find it a breeze!
And TBF in Scotland it doesn't matter of your English is at the level of a 5YO slow-witted child as most Scottish people are at the same level.
MrsB obviously not included in the above generalisation about Scottish people.
Logged
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
ManuelsMum
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 1163
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #772 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:29:13 PM »
lol (runs and hides)
Did you just change your signature?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16000340
Logged
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #773 on:
December 02, 2011, 04:30:48 PM »
Yeah, obv stole it from someone (as I do with all my best, and most of my worst, material)
That's a cracking story,
Logged
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Claw75
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 28413
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #774 on:
December 09, 2011, 05:54:17 PM »
Sales of advent calendars are down this year.
Experts say their days are numbered.
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
KarmaDope
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 9285
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #775 on:
December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM »
I phoned the police the other day.
"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
Logged
RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 47024
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #776 on:
December 09, 2011, 07:05:41 PM »
Mrs Red was complaining because I wouldn't put something Christmasy on the telly. So I put V Rally on the snow stage.
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The older I get, the better I was.
Simon Galloway
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 4173
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #777 on:
December 09, 2011, 08:05:24 PM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on December 02, 2011, 03:10:43 PM
Quote from: FUN4FRASER on December 02, 2011, 03:09:21 PM
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 29, 2011, 09:43:40 PM
Get your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.
Any truth in the rumour the same dyslexic went to a Toga Party dressed as a Goat ?
Yes, and he became a pimp and bought a warehouse.
Then he heard the call of the devil and spent all night worshipping Santa..
Logged
https://www.rocketmiles.com/refer/SIMONGALLOWAY22
Girgy85
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 9507
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #778 on:
December 09, 2011, 09:23:16 PM »
Quote from: sharplea on December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM
I phoned the police the other day.
"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
lol
Logged
Best poster Girgy IMO - Mantis
Girgy is my new hero! - Evilpie
Think Girgy has shown the best leopard instincts in this thread and would prob survive best in the wild. Eye of the tiger that fella - Mantis
Girgy is a m'fkn machine - Daveshoelace
EvilPie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 14253
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #779 on:
December 10, 2011, 02:51:53 AM »
Quote from: sharplea on December 09, 2011, 07:02:20 PM
I phoned the police the other day.
"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
Logged
Motivational speeches at their best:
"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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