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Author Topic: Joke!!  (Read 388712 times)
Geo the Sarge
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« Reply #870 on: February 23, 2012, 06:55:31 PM »


The march went past our house, I heard them chanting this.........
 
'What do we want...........time travel'
 'When do we want it.......doesn't matter'
« Last Edit: March 25, 2012, 06:28:52 PM by Geo the Sarge » Logged

When you get..........give. When you learn.......teach
ManuelsMum
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« Reply #871 on: February 23, 2012, 08:34:45 PM »

Does anyone know any good jokes about Sodium?

Na

How about Sodium Hypobromite?
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #872 on: February 24, 2012, 04:50:49 PM »

Someone just threw some Omega 3 pills at me. Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries
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My eyes are open wide
By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
david3103
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« Reply #873 on: February 28, 2012, 12:25:20 PM »

Liverpool have won a Trophy after a six year dry spell. The Carling Cup.
It's like being celibate for six years and then pulling Susan Boyle.
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It's more about the winning than the winnings

5 November 2012 - Kinboshi says "Best post ever on blonde thumbs up"
rex008
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« Reply #874 on: February 28, 2012, 03:07:20 PM »

A £1 coin was thrown onto the pitch during Rangers' last home game
The SFA usually come down hard on this sort of thing but they admit to being confused about this one.
They're not sure whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.
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"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams
The secret to a happy life - "Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television." - Gore Vidal
henrik777
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« Reply #875 on: February 28, 2012, 09:17:02 PM »

A group of feminist women with strap on dildos pins a known rapist down and says,"Right,how bout some role reversal."

The rapist says,"Not now,I've got a headache."

Sandy
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Claw75
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« Reply #876 on: February 28, 2012, 09:32:46 PM »

I saw Subways lunch offer today - '£3 - Choose between 9 Subs and a Drink'

Erm... Fucking 9 Subs please.
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
ACE2M
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« Reply #877 on: February 28, 2012, 11:41:57 PM »

Following a sexist joke I made the other day the Feminist Society now has my address.

Fortunately none of them can read a map.
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KarmaDope
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« Reply #878 on: March 02, 2012, 11:17:28 PM »

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sweet potata!
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« Reply #879 on: March 02, 2012, 11:20:08 PM »

^^^^^^^^^^ I'll pass on having my mates rubbing my nob thanks.
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sovietsong
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« Reply #880 on: March 07, 2012, 09:30:20 AM »

What do you call an Alligator in a vest?



























 An Investigator
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
Geo the Sarge
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« Reply #881 on: March 10, 2012, 01:44:12 AM »

I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked me: 'How did you find her body?' I said, 'Her tits were ok, but the rigormortis had tightened her arse a bit too much for my liking...'


Geo
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When you get..........give. When you learn.......teach
RED-DOG
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« Reply #882 on: March 12, 2012, 09:52:41 PM »

My sister has just set fire to one of my Roger Hargreaves books.

Well that's it. No more Mr Nice Guy.
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rex008
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« Reply #883 on: March 13, 2012, 09:16:17 AM »

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on..

The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'ave ya ever been fooked, laddie?" The man broke into a big smile and said, "No".
She said, "Aye, ya will be when the tide comes in."!
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"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams
The secret to a happy life - "Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television." - Gore Vidal
Ant040689
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« Reply #884 on: March 13, 2012, 10:07:36 AM »

Someone just threw some Omega 3 pills at me. Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries

Only just read this page of this whole thread, but that sir, is brilliant.
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