G Casino Luton 2009 blondeite league

[the sicilian]

Top Ten 2009 Luton Nicknames - Official Review Of The Year (finally completed)

1. SIR DONKSALOT

(Natural habitat - Enfield Municipal Sauna)
(Latin names - Hannus Montanus, Chirpus Muchus, Floatus Rimmus)

Before he joined the Girl Guides in the autumn of 2009, Sir Donksalot had become one of the hottest properties in Luton, leaving behind an abysmal start to the campaign with a string of luckbox victories.
During the win spree, which earned him the moniker MDD Jnr in certain quarters, Sir Donksalot not only eased he's relegation fears but eventually usurped the Racing Post-nominated Best Player In Luton in the now-infamous Clown Stakes.
Other notable cashes have included when not winning APAT last autumn and when not beating cult figure Nick Salad heads up after finding aces 23 times in a donkament last summer.
The year 2010 promises much for Sir Donksalot, who's high on most lists of professional judges' players to follow and in more than his share of Fantasy Poker teams. Expect to hear some loud chirping once the weather warms up in the spring and he comes out of his cardboard box.

2. BRITISH GAS

(Natural habitat - Cash tables from 9pm)
(Latin names - Donkus Quickus, Rankus Goateyus)

British Gas burst on to the domestic scene in the summer, baffling the established Luton folk with a heady mix of fearless aggression and guesswork.
A quieter end to the campaign led to British Gas trying different styles of play and fashion, including attending the G dressed as a funeral director, growing a tez goatey and latterly donning Princess Leia headphones (although fortunately not the gold bikini to go with them).
Despite threatening to take a break from the game as a result of ‘running bad’, British Gas is one to watch closely in 2010.

3. SNITCHY

(Natural habitat - C&A, Threshers)
(Latin name - Flippus Floppus)

2009 was the year that saw Snitchy Glenn not only improve his game in leaps and bounds but also strike up a memorable comedy double act with veteran performer MDD (see entry no.4).
Despite a shambolic fashion display in Juuune, when opting to wear flip flops and that hoopy Grace Bros t-shirt for his WSOP debut, Snitchy Glenn has now become an established force at the G, latterly wrongly proclaiming himself to be the Best Player In Luton at other venues.
While a £4m Fantasy Poker price tag may seem excessive, Snitchy Glenn has improved to such a degree that he is now offering one-on-one tuition. He remains one to keep on the right side for 2010.

4. MDD

(Natural habitat - Final tables)
(Natural enemy - Dealers)
(Preys on - The weak, feeble, young, old, middle-aged, males, females. Also likes ice cream)
(Latin names - Dickus Grinchus, Curmudgeonasaurus Rex, Aceus Allinus Binkus Regulari)

As with comedy partner Snitchy, 2009 was the year that saw MDD finally bow to public demand and offer one-on-one tuition from his Bedfordshire base.
Expect demand to be high for his multi-dimensional services next season - indeed he is fully booked for several months in advance - so book now to avoid further disappointment.
Such has been MDD’s impact among regulars of all ages at the G that his catchphrase ‘If you’ve got an ace, go all in, most of the time they can’t call’ can now be heard during most tournaments.
Sharper than ever at the age of 93, MDD shows no signs of decline and fully deserves his position as the most expensive player in the Fantasy poker lists.

5. ROCKSTAR

(Natural habitat - o2 Arena, Top Shop)
(Latin name - Denimus Maximus)

With a game that put the ‘Rock’ in Rockstar, this Bon Jovi groupie threatens to be a name to watch during his first league campaign in 2010.
Although absent in recent months, having cleaned out Joe’s Talc Emporium during the sweaty summer months in a bid to ease into his denim drainpipes, Rockstar has continued to make his presence felt with his Michael Fish-like weather reports. He'll be back once the powder mountain has been replenished.

6. ALAN McBINK

(Natural habitat - Cleatus’s Cowboy Shirt Factory)
(Preys on - McDonald’s breakfasts)
(Latin name - Binkus Likeus Dickus)

Some would say it was a close-run thing as to whose game came on in most leaps and bounds during 2009, Snitchy Glenn's or Mr McBink’s, but the majority would just about give the nod to the latter.
When not found burying romantic trinkets for Mrs McBink in the back garden with his jewel-encrusted trowel, Alan McBink enjoys nothing more than donning his favourite line-dancing outfit for a trip to the G.
Tipped by many as the natural successor to MDD, Alan McBink has loosened his game considerably in recent times and the sky remains the limit.

7. COCO POPS

(Natural habitat - The fence)
(Latin names - Wishyus Washyus)

It took until late August for Coco Pops to make his decision between frosted shreddies and his now-preferred chocolate-flavoured treat, but then there was then no going back. Once he’d thought for a while longer and checked with Niall.
Coco Pops’ absence of late is now thought to have been due to baby leave, not because he’s been stuck in the cereal isle at Tesco, trying to work out the plus and minus points of Coco Pops Mega Munchers over his usual standard box.

8. USADENNIS

(Natural habitat - Etiquette Convention Circuit)
(Latin names - Fistus Pumpus, Choppus Negativi)

With his distinctive size 18 Clarks and rugby shirts, USADennis cuts quite the figure and is near impossible to miss.
Whether he’s requesting the dealer ‘give it to him one time’, table slapping, fist pumping or pistol whipping, there’s rarely a quiet moment when USADennis is in the groove, the obvious exception coming when stacked up and a deal is being mooted.
A book on poker etiquette is in the pipeline for 2010, while the hardy souls that have chosen him for their fantasy team will be hoping for plenty more fist action in the coming months.

9. THE FUTURE OF POKER

(Natural habitat - Boxing Day Hunts)
(Latin names - Pheasantus Shootii, Youngsterus Handsomus)

It was only midway through 2009 that the name ‘The Future Of Poker’ began to stick and already it’s looking out of date, such was the run of form that carried Mr Martin to an easy victory in the Luton league.
The future has arrived, the future is Alex, the uber-chatty youngster who’s frequently head hunted by Golf-wear magazine photographers.
Who knows where 2010 will take this young gun, but one thing for certain is that it will never be quiet.

10. HANDSOME PAUL

(Natural habitat - Milan, Catwalks worldwide)
(Latin names - Adonis Extraorindarus)

Feared by many at the table and admired from afar by more than would care to admit it, Handsome Paul is comfortable at any level of the game, his collection of shoulder-draped knitwear having been paraded around such exotic locations as Las Vegas, the Bahamas and Acton.
Hyper aggressive, one future leaguer has already gone on record as saying he hopes 2010 will be the year Handsome Paul gets it on with the equally stunning Lisa-Marie Long and adopts him. Watch this space…

11. CHOMPY

(Natural Habitat - Peterboroughs Kit store, Grand Lux  The Venetian Las Vegas, Cellar beneath his house with the House Boy )
( Latin Names - Hairy Armicus Maximus, Prop Bettus gone Wronicus

Universally regarded ( along with sweaty Terry ) as the godfather of the Luton BLonde Poker League, Chompy has blazed a trail across the poker world with his own brand of aggressive poker... So aggressive in fact he only usually bothers to play 1 day of a two day tournament without getting knocked out. His signature 9 3 sooted hand has baffled the giants of the UK poker scene all year and his great friend Dave Gregory has only just finished pushing pins into his effigy.
In between keeping Betfair in profit for the year, surely the pinnacle of this term has been accepting the Clown prop bet whilst being in an almost unbeatable position and finally realising mid October that he had been lured into the greatest trap since Custer thought Little Big Horn was a scenic picnic site... Who knows what the new year holds for The Godfather.. lets just hope those that he admires from afar don't get wind of it and social services don't discover the new Albanian house boy in the cellar at Chompy villas

[tikay]

New Years Day - what is the Comp, & what time does it start, please?

Attendance by ALL blonde Laguers is mandatory.

[Chompy]

Fri 1st £150 No Limit Hold'em Freezeout 10,000pt 6.00pm (Freeroll for 3 Tickets into the £150 2,000pt 2.00pm)

Also, it's time to log your number of December tournaments please, those that are yet to do so, up to and including Thursday...

[tikay]

Fri 1st £150 No Limit Hold'em Freezeout 10,000pt 6.00pm (Freeroll for 3 Tickets into the £150 2,000pt 2.00pm)

Also, it's time to log your number of December tournaments please, those that are yet to do so, up to and including Thursday...

Three (3) please.

[Simon Galloway]

none

[Chompy]

Name                 Played Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts      Score
Alex                 27     6    1    1    4       128      4.74
Celtic               65     3    1    4    9       158      2.43 **
Snatiramas           59     2    3    1    11      139      2.36 **
Tightend             58     2    2    2    14      133      2.29 **
Gamblor              30     2    0    2    3       64       2.13
Lucky                81     4    1    1    15      154      1.90 * + ?
Winkie               25     0    1    1    6       47       1.88
Nirvana              98     4    4    1    14      178      1.82 * + ?
Sir Donksalot        84     6    2    0    6       143      1.70 **
Simon G              45     1    1    1    8       76       1.69 *
Holdorfold           31     1    1    1    3       50       1.61 **
Tikay                50     1    1    2    6       79       1.58 *
Chompy               83     2    2    1    12      123      1.48 **
Pelham Boy           25     0    1    1    4       35       1.40
Dingdell             25     0    0    1    4       34       1.36
China Mug            133    3    3    1    15      176      1.32
________________________________________________________________
Claw                 43     0    0    1    5       39       0.91 *
Jeff Buftybarger     25     1    0    0    1       22       0.88
Xpressman            38     0    0    0    4       27       0.71

Updated up to and including Fri 25 December
* - December total included
** - Roilling total

December results
Name                 Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts
Alex TFOP            1    1    1    0       35
Holdorfold           0    1    1    1       27
China Mug            0    0    1    2       21
J-Buff               1    0    0    0       15
Dingdell             0    0    1    0       8
Snatiramas           0    0    0    1       6
Nirvana              0    0    0    1       4
Tikay                0    0    0    1       3

It's looking like Tighty has pulled stumps and is booked for fourth, so who'll nick that all-important runner-up spot?
Either Celtic or Snatty will be setting out on their charity weight-loss experience without a trophy on New Year's Day and it couldn't be much closer. Just over three one hundredths of a point split the thick-set luckboxes.

4/6 Celtic
5/4 Snat

[Claw75]

meh I've not really kept track of my december total, not that it really makes much difference Think I've played 5, and considering going along tonight.

[Lucky]

Just 4 for me so far in December.  Not yet sure if I'll make any more this month, but will do if I can.

Still gutted that I cant make New Years Day - but will be away from 1st to 10th January.

[faireycakes]

is anyone going to take the tight route and have a bash at the freeroll first ?

Might pop along, had put all my money on sky and wasted it so free is the way forward for me.
think im going to stop playing so much till i get a better understanding.

[nirvana]

Playing tonight will be 7 for the month, 98 for the year.

May try to sneak another 2 in so I can get my century for the year - will keep you posted

[tikay]

is anyone going to take the tight route and have a bash at the freeroll first ?

Might pop along, had put all my money on sky and wasted it so free is the way forward for me.
think im going to stop playing so much till i get a better understanding.

Respect Sir.

On the very top of Home Page this week, there is a huge picture of me leering rather handsomely. Rather a nice photo, I thought, actually. A player on Sky wrote in the chat-box last night "that picture of you tikay - you look like your having a wank".

Marv.

[Simon Galloway]

Surely not, Sky must employ fluffers and stuff to take care of that side of things for you?

Edit: After checking the photo out, looks more like the hamster is getting a bit too lively rather than being caught mid-fap.

[the sicilian]

is anyone going to take the tight route and have a bash at the freeroll first ?

Might pop along, had put all my money on sky and wasted it so free is the way forward for me.
think im going to stop playing so much till i get a better understanding.

This is Chompy surely?

[tikay]

Surely not, Sky must employ fluffers and stuff to take care of that side of things for you?

Edit: After checking the photo out, looks more like the hamster is getting a bit too lively rather than being caught mid-fap.

Lol @ "fluffers". There's a Horse-breeding term if ever I saw one.

[Claw75]

is anyone going to take the tight route and have a bash at the freeroll first ?

Might pop along, had put all my money on sky and wasted it so free is the way forward for me.
think im going to stop playing so much till i get a better understanding.

was thinking about it, but i'd probably go out first hand and then have four hours to kill in Luton. Gonna kill the time at home instead I think

don't know if i'm looking at the right pic, but that's deffo not Tikay's wank face I would imagine