UKIPT Brighton thread

[El Sid]

To Action Man:  Don't you ever sleep?

[El Sid]

To Preying Mantiso1 Q.C. :  Manitso1, you will have noted that in an earlier post I tagged you with a Q.C. This should not be confused with Queens Counsel, it is more to do with you being a Questionable Character. So much so that I got in touch with Henrietta Tennyson-Crocker, who was the Profiler for the Merseyside Police for over twenty years. I told her that as far as I was concerned you might be the missing link. She offered me three prices to look into you! £10, £5 or £2.50p / Her prices seem to have come down since the credit crunch started.

I opted for the Fifty-bob version that would be £2.50p to you in new money. She said that you had parental issues, you hadn't got on very well with your own, and were not keen on having an offspring. She said that the 77 days spent in a chatroom was a blessing to society as it meant that you were not anywhere else. As for you not being able to decide on which gender you were for the profile form, she was under the impression that you could not decide if you were Arthur or Marther and that in her opinion this would become clear to you after you had reached the 100 day mark in the chatroom.

She said that to understand you properly one had to reread the crap you had writ en out loud, in the voice of Chris Eubank. I did this and all became clear. Although Henrietta was quite happy with fifty bob for the profile I decided to send her a fiver. She said that she will send some further details about you in the near future. I will of course post them as soon as they arrive.

[El Sid]

To Mike Saban, Yes I was the Sid in question. I have been knocked out everywhere on the planet from £2.50 re-buys in Ramsgate to more prestigious events. I knocked myself out last night at the Rendezvous, in fact I was probably first man out, I played my Zed game. I can only blame it on the internet book I read yesterday afternoon by Zareg Burrini. The Eastern European Wunderkind, who has just celebrated his fourteenth birthday. Zareg's system is that you keep betting and don't look at your cards until the river.

You may have played Zareg on the internet he goes by the name of: GoogleMeGoogleYou. The first time I played Zareg's system I did get chipped up, so there is something to this boy's game.

Things are definitely going from bad to worse, both of my sponsorship deals have fallen through. Saga Holidays gave absolutely no reason for dropping me. And Stannah Stairlifts ( The deal included a stairlift being fitted in my home ) dropped me when they heard that I live in Shoreham Lighthouse. My last resort may well be Pyrrhic Poker who sponsor a lot of players who don't know an ace from their elbow. 

All the best Mike, nice to find someone on this site who can read books and joined up writing.

[El Sid]

To sleepy time babe, Cheesy, you have had a hiding to nothing, The barrack room lawyers on this site sit in wait for the opportunity to start up a kangaroo court. They live their life in a twilight world of constant criticism. All I knew was that someone was sitting at eye-level to the cards being dealt. I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't expect anyone else to do it. I also don't think much of the people who were playing you who, it turns out, criticised the act but never had the bottle to complain - there and then.

There are people who I regard as authorities in this game - Thomas Kremser - for instance, would he regard the lounge lizard approach to the game as O.K.?  As that learned prat Mantis01 would say, Pure conjecture, balderdash and double innuendo! ( in the voice of Chris Eubank )

I suggest that people read your blog - it comes through that you are honourable - in life doing the right thing is not enough - you have to be seen to be doing the right thing. The thing we both have in common is that we were sucked into this site. There is a morbid fascination here and some phantoms who will never be able to exist in real life. I have no idea how miserable some of these lives might be and I don't want to add to their misery by being the eternal clever dick.

[bobAlike]

Sid is my favourite poster and it's not even close.

+1
and I hate +1s

[El Sid]

To Bobalike, Love your George Harrison quote, the best quote from Paul McCartney is:
"Let's change this to McCartney and Lennon, it's got a better feel to it."

[Laxie]

Sid and Jeeves need to meet.  The exchange between that pair would be absolute comedy!

[MANTIS01]

Sid, ITT you have called a guy with his head on a poker table a lifeless twat, a perverted scheister, a fool, and suggested he should be hurled over a balcony. After I pointed out that speculating somebody is a cheat is wrong you have called me a prat, a questionable character, and that I have parental issues. Generally, you say you've been sucked into this forum where there are numerous phantoms who are sad/miserable and live in a twilight world of constant criticism. I dunno mate, seems like a pretty negative outlook for a guy who's in the positive thinking business.

[George2Loose]

El Sid, you have somehow managed to make Mantis look sensible. Amazing.

[themisery]

www.elcidmojacar.com

Different gravy.

[DMorgan]

Sid for guest of honour at the next blonde bash?

[GreekStein]

El Sid, you have somehow managed to make Mantis look sensible. Amazing.

[El Sid]

To: SkolSuper, George2Loose and Greekstine:
Look Sensible is just for starters (The operative word being look ) Now that we know parental issues, is the issue. I will endeavour to guide the boy through puberty and turn him into a veritable genius. Of course I realise that I have a mountain to climb. You will note that I have already helped him to strip aside the pseudo-articulation a la Eubank.

I shall teach him many things, including speaking cockney and doing the Lambeth Walk, lessons start immediately with the opening line which is: Any Evening Any Day. I suggest he gets onto U.Tube and watches the Robert Linday version that brought the house down on Broadway. There's a whole new world out there - isn't it great to be alive.

[Girgy85]

Sid is my favourite poster and it's not even close.

+1
and I hate +1s

+2

[MANTIS01]

To: SkolSuper, George2Loose and Greekstine:
Look Sensible is just for starters (The operative word being look ) Now that we know parental issues, is the issue. I will endeavour to guide the boy through puberty and turn him into a veritable genius. Of course I realise that I have a mountain to climb. You will note that I have already helped him to strip aside the pseudo-articulation a la Eubank.

I shall teach him many things, including speaking cockney and doing the Lambeth Walk, lessons start immediately with the opening line which is: Any Evening Any Day. I suggest he gets onto U.Tube and watches the Robert Linday version that brought the house down on Broadway. There's a whole new world out there - isn't it great to be alive.

To Sid: Your offer to guide a boy with parental issues through puberty is mildy disturbing, so I think I'll pass on the "lessons" thx.