china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary

[Chompy]

Great news.

[china mug]

thanks for the best wishes,...i feel that i should post a bit more on here than i have been ,,,but what can i say ...i am totally knackered from winning the league at luton and straight away im playing every knight because its free entrey for me.....i suppose its a bit like playing with your dick ...nice when you choose time and place but a bit of a chore when you are at it all the time....unless like gleevanna you have one of those state of the art ann summers strap on joy belts with the pads and sensors[ easy clean version]  to place around your little places and parts so that they can buzz away as you wait for moby dick to swallow your bent pin on a strech of parcel twine,and should the player beside you enquire about youre insessant twiddleing with the knobs and dials as you attempt to synchronise your peek with hitting trips on the flop  just knod sagely and mutter something about ill health then twirl the remmanants of your glass of red wine and the poor fool beside you might even buy you the next litre of oblivion.....
with regards to poker being able to play for free is haveing some interesting effects on my play ....still not winning enouth but able to be more bolshi with crap starting hands and get the chip stack up early ..but then the same play wastes it all latter,still very interesting to be able to speculate  at dominateing the table ,might learn things to use in future
all booked up for goliath includeing guest house at 35 a night ,b b ..
silly realy 2000 runners plus whats the chances of winning.......
chompsky i will take 1550 to one for me to win with no deals. 50 pounds bet ,number plates and old audios will be considered as pert. payment....dont wimp out gleevana gave me 1000 to one just recentley,just collect the 50 of me at luton today i should be there for 4 pm assuming im able to free my hand from my y fronts......
those that love me can love me no more,those that loath me can allways go that bit extra
tom 4/7/2013

[china mug]

got to the final table on thursday at luton g ,i was talking to stacey one of the staff members  about  a previouse bet a player had made where he had said ....twenty thousand more when in the small blind for 6000...then the player put 20,000 in and 6000 but the dealer returned his 6000 because it didnt go over the line plus in his opinion twenty thousand more included makeing up the small blind so the actual raise was 14,000......
not rocket science and not that interesting just poker and stuff,what was interesting was that a young player at the other end of the table offered his opinion that  ...i was talking shit...when i imediatley asked him ....what did you say...he repeated...your talking shit....
haveing digested his opinion and the value of all options i decided to let it slide the fact that ...im talking to a member of staff and he throws his two pence worth in  to a private conversation and he feels to be very insulting to me.......
what had i done to earn his direspect...well was i talking shit,no
was i asking the table ..who knows any jokes,no
was i slowing the game up and being disrespecful to other players,no

so why did a young guy choose to give his considered opinion in that way
one guess is as good as another my preferred guess is its like the scene in ..dances with wolves ,where kevin cosner says to the red indian brave ..why douse running bear always shout at me...and the indian brave says ...its because hes afraid of you...

[the sicilian]

got to the final table on thursday at luton g ,i was talking to stacey one of the staff members  about  a previouse bet a player had made where he had said ....twenty thousand more when in the small blind for 6000...then the player put 20,000 in and 6000 but the dealer returned his 6000 because it didnt go over the line plus in his opinion twenty thousand more included makeing up the small blind so the actual raise was 14,000......
not rocket science and not that interesting just poker and stuff,what was interesting was that a young player at the other end of the table offered his opinion that  ...i was talking shit...when i imediatley asked him ....what did you say...he repeated...your talking shit....
haveing digested his opinion and the value of all options i decided to let it slide the fact that ...im talking to a member of staff and he throws his two pence worth in  to a private conversation and he feels to be very insulting to me.......
what had i done to earn his direspect...well was i talking shit,no
was i asking the table ..who knows any jokes,no
was i slowing the game up and being disrespecful to other players,no

so why did a young guy choose to give his considered opinion in that way
one guess is as good as another my preferred guess is its like the scene in ..dances with wolves ,where kevin cosner says to the red indian brave ..why douse running bear always shout at me...and the indian brave says ...its because hes afraid of you...

Just tell him to fuck off imo ! lol....oh and celtic told me how you cracked his aces..beware the wrath of the Jocks lol

[china mug]

i didnt crack his aces ...he  made a small raise which basicley said come on in and warm your self at the fire of my chip stack ...so two of us did...and i would like to state here and now it had nothing to do with him not showing a previouse hand where we had a all in who mucked his hand and thinny bet on the end and i passed and he refused to show and the ruleing agreed with him ...allthough george latter said that the mucked hand shouldnt have been tacken in and then thinney would have had to show to win the hand.....
ok maybe it had a little to do with it
last night at luton we had the pleasure of the poker elite globe trotter...well uk  anyway....dave johnson he that can spot extra value in a points promotion and travel to the far flung shores of sea side casinos that give points but onley have fourteen and a half runners who would have a heart attack at the thought of a rebuy as the invalidity pension wont run to it ,whielst he will scoop points that other players would have to do battle with 70 old poker lags with a im a 100 up on roulete mentality give me a rebuy ....any way the much respected and in some circles feared......your own problem if you go near his drink ....mr johnson was involved in a big pot to which he had contribbuted a chunk,when the last player gose all in ,call,call,mr johnson hum har ....mmmmmmm...pass some whag enquires ,what did you pass dave ,,,threes he states....cards on there backs some thing like ak,88,10 10 .....flop rag rag 3 ,rag,rag......mr johnson double hurmppphhh
now as you maywell imagine all the players at the table had such a feeling of empathy for dave that the least they felt they could do was to mention the word three at alll and any opurtunity
whats the big blind..three hundred
last ..three hnds soon
im ..free rolling
watch out hes..three bet
if im out i might catch the late film i think its ..free willy
no its the ..three musket ears
no rocky..three
no god father..three

to his credit dave joined in and even contributed to the crack ...he may have even enjoyed the cosmic justice of me calling a all in with my king nine of spades on a 9 4  3 rainbow board onley to walk intn....no run into ...a set of threes.....
a good crack and jolly table ,i can onley hope that it didnt go down hill after the brightest light left,i suppose i could have stuck around and  sat on the side lines to ask who knows any lokes....

[china mug]

up at dtd looks like there will be a goodley overlay in comp, ive put andy loo on notice to not rip the arse out of the luton g league points while im away......bag of cashews for any one who takes his scalp....large size.....

[china mug]

so its 30 mins to the of at dtd i grinded the 1 pm on saturday and was as card dry as north of the border buying the drinks.....made it to level 13 then out in a no awe hand.....in the 5 pm shot and surley now i will hit some good stuff....f u tom heres another portion of super card dry seven plus hours later and ive got 150 000 ...i try to nick the blinds with  king ten suited...big all in i have to call his 75 odd hes got 97 suited...flop 7 7 rags
forward to last hand of the night im the big blind at 5k ...luton reg all in ,twat on right all in ,i squeze qq,happy days all is vindicated all the grinding is worth while im all in
luton reg 88
me qq
twat on right ...o i dont know what ive got i didnt look,turns over 2 8 0ff
flop 252 turn 10 i can win with a diamond.....twat wins
im back on suday with 75000

looks like i will be at luton for the game
sigh

[china mug]

ive had to let andy go as im at the goliath thurs onwards and he will win the luton g leagues free month of entries....i dont think it will go to his head though ,he will still treat us to his trade mark high pitched trills of laughter when excited....maybe he could have a body popping comp with raj,i hear hes notorious for his moves on the floors of lutons night life pulling stations...odd realy i onley see him super glued to a black jack chair...come on andy if youve got it show it ,
so im of to goliath ,on the train and staying in a bb...o what a life ...in search of the poker pat on the back that says ...wow look at him he won such and such,or he whent deep in so and so,id better hope it comes soon as a decent holiday would fit in realy well about now...anyway get brain into warp 5 scotty and braveley go where every fukr has been trying to go since they drew lots for jesuses robe....
i hope i dont sit beside any pratts in coventry ,i was beside one in luton last night defo mental probs ....talks shit and kept asking me non replly questions...
so sweetness and light nice thoughts get up to coventry and dive in ,....might even get to hug dinna ....the poker players preffered hot tottie pin up ....aaaahhhhhhh
see the nice thoughts are cutting in.....

chompski hasnt replied to my most generiouse offer of a bet for me to win the goliath.....probley too busy flicking thru back issues of..cross knit stitcher and what the well attired geek is wearing this autumn,or it could be that hes keeping a low profile now that the rumour about him and his fetish regarding eyeing up other peoples walking aides and wheel chairs and wanting to take them home with him to add to his collection under his bed by the rolls of andrex super soft....of course i dont belive a word of it....bit as they say theres no smoke without friction burns....

[china mug]

bloody hotel in coventry sold my room even thou it was all booked up weeks ago,i suspect some slimy owner or manager assumed i was a no show and took cash for it,i phoned up at 7.30 ish pm to see what the porter to let me in around midnight arrangements would be......sodding woman that can barley speak english answers the phone and i tell her
my name
i have a booking
i will be arriveing about midnight
then a little later i talk to home and they tell me the hotel phoned them ,i dont have a booking...it shouldnt have been made in the first place,so no booking thurs or fri night.....slaggggssssss
so im back into goliath at level 13 about 8.30.pm  on full tilt from a slag in a hotel that has double booked my room for profit......
i will be trying to get repenpence from the online booking agent.....but for now im one bedless poker player
luckly the crowd in the lobby at goliath sorted me a room at ibis ...55 pounds...so im okay for tonite ,
still got blown out of goliath on a hand where i was fav,back to hotel....just dont feel like ferreting around for a hotel for friday night  and paying thru the roof for it so good bye coventry

back to luton g cassino
i discover that ive been told the wrong date for the end of the poker league so there is enouth time for me to over take andy ...i smiled when i heard the news ,andy i hear had a some what different facial arrangement

banged in 40 points on saturday will see what i can add to the stockpile of wmd at 4pm sunday
on the way back from coventry on the train the ticket guy looked at my ticket and quipped ..st albans ,i went there once but it was closed..the estate agent type girl opposite chuckelled..i quipped back to him ..yes they new you were comeing,he chuckled then shuffled of in his train uniform top and stripey suit trousers borrowed from rumpole of the bailey.....
all of this now made me look at the girl oppasite with a different view ..she now nows where im getting of the train and could way lay me on the lonlay stretch as i walk along towards the abbey flyer...i pretended to be dozeing but studied the girl as she pressed the buttons on the blackberry phone that had been her constant attachment since she had got on the train at 4.56pm on platform 4 from milton keynes and had made 5 phone calls plus 9 text call and recieved 2 calls.....none of which was some one trying to sell her ppi misold services
a couple of times she looked across at me but as i was feining dozing whielst looking at her thru my partly closed lashes she returned to her finger digget orgy ,as she stroked the buttons on her blackberry she semi bit her lip and her finger seemed to hover over the button that little bit longer as if she was toying with a lovers one eyed spitting cobra with her text finger regulateing the flow of satisfaction......
anyway i got of the train and hung around the lonley stretch at the abbey flyer station for two hours bet she didnt show up ...a couple of times when i heard womens high heels approaching and stepped out of the shadows it was the wrong woman and they clutched there children to them and hurried of ....
now i think about it maybe she wasnt a estate agent but was a hotel booking manager....

[china mug]

looks like andy has won the luton g leauge and a month of free comp entries,i would like to congratulate him and look forward to seeing what his eyes look like after 3 weeks of got to attend its free, hey up i could win next month as well.....dave bloody johnson is the onley contender....and hes all ways down the jim
so good luck andy fill your boots
of cource if any one knows any reason why andy should be disqualified....any reason...at all...please let me know
if you have infomation that he has been running a opium denin the far left corner of the smokers cage....
that he has sometimes parked in a disabled onley parking bay
that he uses red diesel ,even though his car is petrol
that he has been secretley selling pancake rolls on luton g premises ,undrecutting the poor waitresses tips
that he is the secret love child of one of the luton g management
thet he is the father of a luton g management love child
that hes needed back home to finish some wall he left half built
that hes a alien ,.....possible
that he has been propersitioning lady poker players with offers of sexual fullfillment for a price ,while he sits beside them licking his eye brows
ditto,men players
 that he should never have been allowed to play as he didnt fit into the height mesuring cut out like at thorpe park ,sorry daz
so any one with any information as to why in the interest of fair play he should be disallowed please get in touch,then we can let the person who is secound take his place.....remember theras a free one pound bag of iceland lollies in it for you


of cource if he still wins i shall congratulate him warmley wish him well ,and spread rumours involeing unatural practices about him and any staff members that are a suitable match ..height..size..availeable on transfer market etc
dba....done by andy

[china mug]

well here i go again ,im at dtd for the 300 deep stack ,drove up whent to get key from b ana b and asked the receptionist if there was a route to dtd avoiding the road works into beeston ....she told me yes up the road etc etc  ....thanks miss do you want youre eggs soft or hard ...i can get lost in strange towns very well on my own ...turneded car around battled thru roadworks with engine overheating light comeing on and got to frankie and benies oppasite dtd...into frankies for a relaxing coffee before game...can i sit on the edge by the window ,sorry says manager 24 people comeing in soon how about over there no more bookings....by frankies and coffee at nandos....
and the game is about to start

[china mug]

not the result i would have written for myself....im out of the dtd deep stack in 3 hours,it just didnt happen ,added and abbetted by a twat on my right who kept bleating on about how his form was so terrible...last night he had 138,000 chips to go and add to his day 2 when in the last few mineutes he ran his kk into ak that rivered a flush boohoo booo hooo poor methen as i watch his aa gets cracked and he feels he has licencege to get  on his soap box and fill my ears with his considered opinion.....like in the film kellys heroes when donald sutherland tells his tank man to stop with all the negatith vibes ,and there own side blow up the bridge they needed.
so im out of dtd theres a bird in a bare back of the shoulder dunelme number taking photos for i think blonde,so im not even there long enouth for my picture to be on the roll of desperatley wanna bees......
back to b andb on bed nap and up pub ,karioke and ipa bitter at 230 a pint,theres a guy doing a oasis number me as the last time i was there and let me think ....o yes the time before that,and the time before,he looks like he should be in the thick of a riot throwing road bollards at police or screeming abuse at a receptionist at a job centre....a reel man of the streets,onley he is always wearing a jacket that makes him look like odd bod of the 1970s carry on film ...carry on wax works i think,any way his singing is truley flat bland and like a aeroplane with one wing and a flat tyre it just cant take of .....but he enjoys himself and fits right in with all the other singers and crowd that are there men and woemen all with there pints of golden forgetfulness........is this me doing penance for my failing at dtd is this the equliient of doing sack cloth and ashes....i dont know and as the sith pint cuts in i dont care....its like the scene in educating rita where julie walters is down the pub with her family and shes trying to enjoy it but she knows that there must be some thing better in life.....the four lads sitting to my right have all been showing each other little familiaraties arm around shoulder,touching knees ........yes tom when it couldnt possibley get any worser...schindlers list...it dose im sitting in the seatswhere a group of lads that like girls make up more than they like girls are,worse than that i was chatting to one of them in the loo and he was telling me he had the best voice in the whole pub,as we both did our bussinessthen back in the bar , i now realise even thru the booze that the wandering eyes of the regulars towards me were to see if i was a old lfairy myself.....o well it took my mind of the fuck up of being out of dtd so earley,its time to find the indian [restraunt] that the landlord had recomended
so one slap up meal on top of the lake of ale latter im wondering back to the b and b with a doggy bag of indian food that i couldnt eat....always makes for a tasty morsel the next day....into bed welcome oblivion ,after obligutory tv channell flicking.....

so the next morning its a short walk to the shops for some air and chat to the guy that runs the shoe repair bussnes that has relacated to new premises over the road he says he will look for some bits from the old shop which is a ramshacle hut of wood and asbestos dating back to 1947 ,its to be demolished with the adjoining garages to build flats,i say to him to keep the old 1960s advertiseing tin plaques even thou they are onley this shoe dye or that laces they are worth keeping where as at present they are left pinned to the walls of the soon to be demolished shop.......o are they worth some money he aske
pop goese the bubble of nostalgia,hello crap tv where every old item is worth bundles....not

into car down m1  ....stoke on trent next i think

[china mug]

sorted ,stoke on trent friday...b and b booked 3 mins from gentings,50 pounds...just got to decide train or drive.....
probley drive cheaper and come and go as you please as opposed to waiting on platforms....
as to the poker just got to not let my table ,moaners..flash gits...young punks..geeks..welsh...northerners...wannna be a star..ive read such and such on poker..
drain my chips down so that the table arrive at a unspoken view that im the bitch on c wing...
i think there is a shakespearen story which was made into a epic japanese film where the war lord sat behind his fortress while the hoards smashed themselves against his defences onley ventureing out at a time and place of his chooseing ,slaying a load of the enemy and returning to his defences before they knew what had hit them...........so just like a load of kung fu exponiants where this one dose ..the white krane style ..or the crouching tiger...or the realey fed up gerbil
i shall be attacking stoke on trent with...shakespear poker
how can i not win




whats the fifferance between a poke in the eye and a slap in the face with a wet fish........ans on next page

[china mug]

stoke on trent , stands for ....sod of tom,not this time
gnash mutter mutterdaaaaaa

[china mug]

nottingham saturday....see if i can get thru to day two of grande prix