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Author Topic: china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary  (Read 65799 times)
atdc21
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« Reply #480 on: January 30, 2019, 12:53:47 PM »

Great write ups, but fk me they take some reading Cheesy
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china mug
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« Reply #481 on: February 01, 2019, 10:47:08 AM »

ITS LIFE JIM BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT.......OR HOW TO OBTAIN THE FEELING OF PROPPING A LIFT DOOR OPEN WITH YOUR BALLS

SO ITS THE MORNING OF THE BIG GAME IN LONDON VICTORIA CASINO , and so like the film  STALINGRAD where the sniper is doing his stuff and the political machinery is writing about his great success rate and bob hoskins........i wonder what his real name was before e changed it to hoskins.....says give it some human interest write about here is what he had for breakfast here is what he did in his rest time let the readers feel they are that man......
i pop into my friends coffee shop BAR EXPRESSO on the bridge in st albans and say hi maria to the waitress who is always working behind the counter on the left as you enter because its her name then i sit down look at the internet thru i cloud and yet again note that  the news page that comes up is full of mrs may said this , famous sports personality did that , telly tuby on ice bounced three times when fell , and of the never ending famous well known bank has set aside billions to settle miss sold claims .     give me a cat stuck up a tree any day.
looked at ebay for land rover discoverys ut decided no wait till yo have got to the decent prize money at the victoria before you muse what fragrence air freshener to hang from the dash board. and so to breakfast part two i had two brown toast with poached eggs and smocked salmon it was very nice true the salmon had some areas at the edges that had faded in the sunlight and air but a grizzly standing in a waterfall in canada would not have been bothered and nor was i ,i had tea with the meal as the lattes are too much of a clog you up agent...and out of the cafe to park the car in a little road that runs up to a school playing field that from 10.30am on wards you can park all day there is space for about ten cars in this little street as i pull in there is one other car waiting and i park up with ten minutes to go to 10.30am then a parking warden appears from a private car parking area at the back o some care home buildings ....he was hiding looking for some one to park early and leave there car and he can ticket it but i think he has to stand by the car for some minutes  which has to not include the allowed time of 10.30 he gets one car then approaches the other car two teenagers chat to him then drive of i move my car to the private car park he just came from and wait the last 5 mins on the dot i pull out and park as the teenagers that had just driven around the block  and 6 other cars all appear and park.....i say good morning to the warden as i head for the train ...get ticket for train and train pills in 3 mins latter and on to to the vic

TBC
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china mug
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« Reply #482 on: February 01, 2019, 07:54:09 PM »

A SIGN OF MADNESS IS TO PUT YOUR HAND IN A FOOD BLENDER AND TURN IT ON AND THEN BE SURPRISED WHEN YOUR HAND GETS MANGLED AND YOU FIND YOUR SELF FRETTING AS TO HOW YOU ARE GOING TO TURN THE BLENDER ON THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN , I MENTIONED THIS TO EINSTEIN AND HE AGREED .

so into the vic we go and its a no promotions at the front counter and into the lift i am about 30 mins early so all is well on planet tom no hassles or hurry i see raj fish and tell her about my strange dream of her getting married in a miss marple type church yard , she raises a eye brow at the white wedding dress bit but is rushed of her feet with work so on we part , and the game starts i am on the same table as tony a ice cream van man who could maybe beat das at limbo dancing from luton g area ,when we were chatting i said hope we are not on the same table but there you have it sods law. so we have ten hours of play with 20,000 chips and start at 25/50 nice.....two hours of play speeds by and nowt happens of note we are told that after the break we will be on the feature table so i text a few people to let them know in case they wish to watch.
and onto the feature table and im hitting some good stuff including a strait flush interestlingley i have a hand that is a pair of queens and after i look at them then go to nonchantley play the hand but as i look across the table i see the tv screen that is showing old goliath segments of film and my exact hand is on the film so for a nano secound i think whats happening are my queen spades and queen diamonds being filmed by the cameras and playing other there so i look again at the suits to make sure  , just karma genie messing with me i suppose...still the two hours on the feature table go well and they feed us and latter when i watch it at home i realise that every one else eats there food and marches on i seem to have the food bowl welded to my hand .
then another break and i have about 40k a goodley amount six more hours to play ....and the good times end ....you know how some people thelosiphise that there are infinate parrelell unaverses where every thing happens only a little bit diferent ...well i have slipped into the twilight zone to parellel world called lets bitch slap piss on and generaly cause as much poker pain to tom as we can world......3 hours of nothing .....my chips go down im on 10k when the average is 36k when this happens of cource you can make a stand with 9 7 of having paid 2k to see the flop and miss for the villian to put you all in ...you can go tell that to custer ....i wait and wait any thing any thing at all ....they bring ice creams around i have two  if this is all i get from this comp thats 560 pounds a ice lolly .....i actualey feel sick at the pansy arse way im having to throw all my blind hands away to a raise here or there from the other players and they for there part must think what a wimp .....im down to 3300 chips the blinds are 400 800 running 100 i look down at ace jack player limps i go all in player calls as will one of the blinds and the limper they all check it all the way i win with pair jacks and i have about 15k 30 mins of play left and a hand im actualey proud of happens ...im the small blind at 500 player makes it 2500gets called in three spots i look down at ace two hearts i callas well the big blind who has been my biggest chip thief flat calls as well ,had he raised i was going all in ....flop jack jack eight rainbow ...it checks all round next card a two i bet 5k chip thief calls all others pass last card a three i go all in , chip thief dwells but cant call my last bet as he has no pair or thinks i have the jack or eight he passes .....i have near 40k .....aaaaaahhhhh cleanex this way.......
the last few hands play out im thru to day two with 31,700 average about 75k less that hal average but to some one that has been locked in a cabinet with a gimp mask on or near 4 hours any light is a brilliant raiinbow....chips into bag and head for door willy the china man asks me how many i have i think he must have seen me with jack shit chips for so long he was seeing how i aired ,i told him ,he didnt ask anything else , as we go to leave a old lag that was on some of the early late night poker tv progrgames he used to wear glasses with straps on going over his head anything to stick out for the tv any way he sits down in a cash game i think and pushes his chair out so that every one trying to et passed has to squeeze pass his chair and thats like 100 players....i one o the first im thru and i have a silly smile ....im coming back for day two first price may be 100k im a hundred miles away from it ut im on the right road probley i will get nowt but having survived on vapour fumes for so long i have earnt the right to try my best ....and my best can be very trying.

tony the ice cream guy busted out i think he will try again friday ,baby face dave got thru i cant recal many luton g players ....
and outside into snow and sludge trains still on and home ...small hicup three pieces o chicken and chips from the kebab shop on the bridge at st albans ....and watched my self on live stream then sleep....

tomorrow is a new battle with new victors............
imaywinorimaylosebutitwillbethehardestwinorloseicanproduce.

ps guy on omaha say hi when you see me face to name and all that , same for any one that wants to fess up to reading this ...


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booder
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« Reply #483 on: February 01, 2019, 08:02:34 PM »

GL GL
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
china mug
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« Reply #484 on: February 03, 2019, 05:03:30 PM »

HOW TO MAKE A MILLION AT POKER , START WITH TEN MILLION

So here we go again my little chuckle worriers/ warriors its Saturday morning 02 Feb 2019 after Christ and i'm heading for  the train station, coffee at Pret and parmer ham roll all being taken care of, onto train and out the other end into St.Pancras then up the escalator i go........... I leave the stairs for all the fit young things to bound up as evidenced to me on the gukpt live stream i have taken on the persona of a poker playing Mr.Blobby having not appeared in any paperatzi stories for being caught bonking the latest page 3 girl or for getting thrown out of the jungle, it does come as an eye opener when you see yourself in the living moving flesh and you realise the phrase relaxed muscle has been pushed to a new degree............... or as someone i know says fatty fatty bum bum............ Note to self sort your shit out Tom.
Walking through St. Pancras on the way past the two pianos if you take the time to look up you can really marvel at the iron structure of all the girders that create a fantastic roof span engineered by persons in the 1800's just to allow room to get rid of all the smoke from the then train engines steam and coal.
Out of the tube at Edgeware Road and i see a girl with all her blankets in her arms getting into a car with two or three other persons, my initial thought was this is some sort of Fagen gang where they are dropping  off and picking up people to beg at the tube station entrances................. but then i thought whats wrong with a girl who is begging having a friend in a car that is coming by at a given time to give her a lift.
On the last 200 yards along Edgeware Road deposited on the pavement were several bags of someones clothing belongings not at a recycle point just dumped spilt out of which were two large cuddly toys one being a pug type dog that would easily cost £20 all spilling out of the bags and kicked into a heap and partly rained on....................... I can only assume someone has been evicted and the landlord had to put the stuff out so that they can not be accused of stealing the items.................... A sad reflection of humanity and a total waste of product.
and into the vic.

TBC
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china mug
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« Reply #485 on: February 10, 2019, 01:07:53 AM »

WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS MAKE SURE YOUR ARSE IS ON A CHAIR.

so its day two of the gukpt 1000 game im thru with 31,700 when the average is 75k ish what can a poor boy do the blinds are 1500 and 3000 running 300 ante so i only have 5200 to pa per round of the 9 handed table so 6 rounds of dealing and my chips are gone .....whats this im hitting some cards and flops where the hell did that come from im so used to being poker pissed on i expected it to continue but no the postman is making a mistake and im happy to get  of some good stuff i have 90k average and this hand pops out blinds 1500/3000 i make it 6500 with ace queen pass to button who has 50k he makes it 10500 i think has he ace king or a pair .....i think about calling or raising ....he says if you make a move i will shove...i say to him ,what if i make a move you will shove he says yes ,i say im all in .....he sits there all eyes on him ....after 60 seconds i say to him ...when you said if i make a move you would shove did you mean after you think about it for ten mins....he sits silent there is 4 mins to the break ....then he starts going on what hand i probley have etc....the break comes 4 or 5 of the players are waiting to see what he decides ...4 mins into the break he calls with his ace jack against my ace queen ...i win and for thwe first time i have above average chips ....we are told that after the break we will be on the feature table but for now we have a hour break ....i decide to walk the streets and get my jacket and head on out side pass waitrose i see the two stuffed toys have disapeared no dout to appear in some ones washing machine then dryer and then a nice pressy for some loved one....amazind how philantroic ou can feel when you have above average chips ....o happy days ,o happy days when jesus walked ,yes when he walked and took all my troubles away i go around the block and pop into the pub/bar that i had passed loads of times to see what the local ambiance is like should i ever decide to have a drink ,its the one as you approach the parking ramp on the corner ...interestingley from the outside it looks just like a regular pub but inside you see its very thin and no depth at all just enouth room for the bar and a small square room ,i exit curiosity satted

and back in to the feature table ....a young kid with red hair starts to dominate ahy moves i tyr to make its like he is targetting me...latter when i see the play back i see that he is hittind very good cards but at the moment its persil not daz ....the gap to the money is getting closer 42 for the min pay out of 1800 ....i shove my last 77k with ace jack the small blind wakes up with ace king good night tom ....im out 7 from the money


so there you have it mostly a dry desert card wise for me but i still whent deep , if anything my proudest moment is day one when i hung on in and hung on in looking for some thing any thing down to 3300 chips then like one of those big old whales in a attenbourgh wild life ilw i broke thru and shot out of the ocean to do  a great big belly flop by some boat full of yankee tourists to make day two, ....but for now its me leaving the vic no tail between my legs i did the best i could with the material available and one day i will get there ...just not yet ....
into luton g a few or several days latter and i make the inal holding up a cartoon saying ...sophies geek boy....right result wrong venue ....sigh....

so the game rolls on as do i who knows when it will happen but it will....keep watching the skys.

100percentrecycledtoiletpaperwhatsthatallabout
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china mug
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« Reply #486 on: February 18, 2019, 08:47:54 AM »

IM KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKING ON HEAVENS DOOR WISH I COULD FIND THE BELL

so my poker chums and chumesses what has stirred in the loin cloth of reality called toms quest for the holy wail , last friday i set of for the vic poker room as it was there deep stack which any sel;f respecting player knows will collect about 100k giving a first price of about 25k give or take a land rover discovery or two ......i chose to get the train p as the thought of paying another batch of conpleb charge was oo much....
on the train he performance begins i hear a noisy guy coming along the carriage from behind me hes proclaiming that there is no shame in begging as he waves a paper coffee cup at each and every train traveler and asks for any spare change please ......at least i think he said the  word please.....followed by ....theres no shame in begging ......he hoves into sight and i see him in his red puffer jacket and paper cup .....obviously sizing me up he kicks his performance up a gear and says whats your favourite singer i decide to play along and answer david bowie ...he was a begger he says still wih paper cup exended owards me ....you have earned a pound i say and dig into my pocke for it ...hes looking at the next person as he clearly is on a roll now and of he trots ....one of the next contestians in his game must have asked back to him what his favourite singer is as he was saying camio west or some thing like that .... at he next staion hes geing of and alking ino his phone saying where are he brothers meeting .......like a sparrow he flits from garden to garden picking a worm here and there he reminded me of the old street fake shop traders shoving a load of toot into a paper bag or box and saying what would you expect to pay for this radio and set of toys and the pens with the matching vases     40 pounds  or 30 pounds    no hold your money no 20 no 10 who wants it here you go 5 pounds here you go one for you and you and you.....the mugs forget they nether wanted the toot just as we are expected o forge we don realy care if there is any shame in begging or not just give me he money////
and out at farringdon station as the rail saff had said its a shor walk to he ube compared to st pancres ......well what can i say about farringdon .....have you ever seen the print of a picture that is a set o stair ways that all link and look like they are going up but as your eye follows he men figures climbing the stairs you arrive back a the first stairs , well farringdon is like that with cobwebs.
and out at edge ware road the blue vauxell astra reg sp51thk is still on the corner opposite the bronze of the window cleaner the beggers at the enterance to the tube use it as there home
and down the road o he vic
16 levels of 30 mins and like a kid with a metal line kite in a thunder storm im of and running and getting zapped by total no cards and no flops.....what is this some sort of parrell universe where im in a purgerwety of the same shit all he time ....and yes im hanging in there while others fall but come on  you wouldnt take a kid o a fooball match then leave him in the car ouside so he can hear the roars but see nowt ....
level ten im all in with my low stack i have a open ended straight and flish draw .....nohing comes im out.....IN A MOOD  of bloody mindness i seek out the craps able on he floor below and join he throng of failed poker and roulee players i have 50 pounds across as some one else throws the dice im too shagged weary to do he work myself he hits numbers i press to the max each time but the is so much jabbering and delays i get he arse with it amnd ake my bets down cash upm 165 pounds  as i leaVE HE AREA THE THROWER IS STILL THROWING NUMBERS ...I CARE NOT...
hopes dashed dreams washed away trogging on towards the trains and time for bed said zebbadie
o lord won you give me a mercedes benz my friends all have porches i must make amends.....
TBC


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china mug
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« Reply #487 on: February 20, 2019, 10:14:25 PM »

EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING , I JUST WANT TO FIND HE THE SOD THAT KEEPS TAKING MINE .

So last saturday im back up to the vic to shove my snout into the poker rough , train to get there walk thru st pancres and out at edgeware road the beggers in blue astra are on point so all is well in the world and everything is as it should be as i walk by he male begger he asks i decline and we both re focus on our important real life issues  he probley where to get his next hot meal,clean clothes,hot bath,fix,or piece of fresh carbboard to sit on the pavement with ,me with my what have i go to do to make this probe into the mecca of poker playing areanas sucessful.......i muse how long and how well i could adapt to being a begger and how well he could adapt to being a poker player....

and so down the road to the vic ,walking on the streets up to the vic there is something a bit like one of he old horror films where the alien body snatchers have invaded earth and they just need you to fall to sleep and hey can duplicate you and the humans just carry on jabbering away while they say nothing just look at you and thru the look they communicate to each other who is one of them and who is yet to be turned , and into the vic let combat begin,

interestingley enougth im card dry for the first six half hour levels.......come on poker karma is that all you have to throw at me you can do better than that to mess me and all round genneraly piss on my hopes and dreams , then im hittiing some good stuff im surviving hours of play and breaks all merge into a dream that you are in it is as it shouild be you know your part all is well approaching the last ten mineutes before the break a level en it happens...................im on able one in seat ten im big blind with 150k average is about 120k two more hours and a break and we all come back sunday when he first price will be 26,000..............seat one makes it 6500 when the blinds are 1200/2400 i call with king ten flop 10,7,3, rainbow i check seat one bets 5500 i insta raise o 20,000 he thinks and codjatates ,if he raises i fold as he may have any of the hands that are beating me .......he calls me next card king i bet 36000 he thinks then calls last card he one card i dont want ....ace......like a 17 centurey french peasant with his head on madam guillotine hearing a strange whistling noise as the blade falls i bet him all in and he snap calls to show his ace king ....i show my king ten ...o i thought you were trying o nick i he says ...beam me up scotie im on a planet of dim whits and retards i think .....50k chips left and darwins theory of nataural selection takes care of hem and im out

onto tuibe theres a warning of smoke at st pancres so im of at euston and walking with all the throng of party people and late workers all seeking our own morphiouses at 12.30ish at night into he train station waiting for the overland o st albans theres a drunk lad who insists in dropping him pants to his anckles but not his under pants mind as he trys to sing ooooyyeeee    ooooyeeee   oooyeeeee  the girl with him is highley impressed ....two girls and a boy on the same stainless seat along the wall as me are chatting i hear her saying ...o jennie thinks shes not straight but she is really ......then she asks me whats your name , i reply well is not dick or harry ....well that leaves a lot of choices she declares and goes back o talking about jennie i think prick with ace king though i was nicking when i raised his be of 5500 to 20000 so he called with no pair or anything no straight or flush draw .....................
home pillow sleep ...

a few days later i am a  at luton g the place that used to be a poker mini mecca but the number crunchers in the company seem to have decided hey dont need poker so no comps monday tuesday and whensday...................good job they are not in the airline business as they would have planes falling from he skys when they decide they don really need pilots.....really tough luck on the great number of players that have supported the place and on he staff that have worked hard over many years to make it the poker centre for the area and surrounding areas ....
any way das was at my able and he old how he was ou at the vic game he had 280,000 late in the game    matey raises o say 11500 he looks down at queens and re raises o say 50k matey calls flop 333 matey shoves all in for 180,000 das calls matey has 78 suited das has a full house.....next two cards 88 ................
logging onto my laptop a my mates coffee shop i see the news items eleven people arrested for fatal stabbing in euston road london thas one day after i trod those pavemens............perspective a wonderful levelling compound.
deep stack next saturday at vic ....lluon g thursday and friday to get entry contributions   aaahhhhhh
london pride bear at the king william  st albans mondays 2.49 a pint aaaahhhh just saying

asasickdegenerategamblerimpreygoodbutasadrunkdegeneraegambleriwouldbeawsome

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china mug
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« Reply #488 on: February 23, 2019, 10:10:00 AM »

WHAT CAN A POOR BOY DO BUT PLAY FOR A ROCK AND ROLL BAND , TONE DEAF SO POKER INSTEAD.

got in at 5.00 am his morning eyes like piss holes in snow and up to the VIC  for 1.00 pm  and 200 plus 25 game ....train , st pancres , beggars , card dry ,   yarddyyy yaaaa   yarrrrdyy  yahhhh.
is this the one , dont know but may be just maybe ........keep watching the skys

BIG ROUND OF DRINKS AT LUTON G IF I WIN
subject to t and c namely them letting me put 40 quids worth of stella from super market by coffee machine , note the positive mental attitude visualisation technique there .

big shout out to one of my maine bitches at luton g mr lucky allan who made the final but we lost him in he bunker scene....

thecreamrisestothetopitscalledprecum

 
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« Reply #489 on: March 20, 2019, 12:13:23 AM »

MESSAGE O BRAIN DONT BLOG WHEN YOU ARE PISSED.............BRAIN TO MESSAGE WHY DO YOU KNOW A  BETTER TIME

SO 3 PINS OF LONDON PRIDE AND 3 TINS OF JOHN SMITHS AT HOME AND ITS SHARE TOMS KNOWLEDGE OF POKER TIME.....HAD AGO A THE VICS LAST WORTHWHILE POKER COMP LAS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY 130 PLUS 20 JUICE .......WHEN DEEP EACH DAY ONLY TO BE CARD DRY AND BUST OUT ..............I ONCE HEARD A CHAP ON TV TALKING ABOUT RELIGION AND IT HAD SOME THING TO DO WITH A INFINATE  BAG OF MARBLES DROPPED ON TO A INFINTAE CHESS BOARD WITH ININTATE SQUARES AND HERE WILL NOT BE ONE MARBLE ON EACH SQUARE BU HERE WILL BE A VARIANCE OF RANDOW SPREADING OF THE MARBLES..............SO BASICLY YOU CAN PLAY YOUR A GAME AND SADES LAW WILL STILL SICK IS BONY LEG OUI O TERIP YOU UP .....AS IT DID IN THE LAST 4 ADVENTURES O TIN TIN HAT I TOOK PART IN PAIR OF TENS SCREWED BY PAIR TWOS MAKING STRAIGHT , PAIR TWOS MAKING TRIPS AGINS MY PAIR TENS , MY ACES BUSTED BY ACE TEN THEN AS PER THE LAST OUTING AT THE VIC MY ACE TEN RUNNING INTO ACES AND NOT BUSTING THEM.....................MAKES YOU WANT TO SHOVE HE INFINAE BAG OF MARBLES UP SOM,E ONES ININATE ARSE........

GOOD NIGHT MY SLOW TIRED READERS WHO EVER YOU ARE.

is luton g trying to ge out of the poker scene ....i so ITS WORKING
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