Blondes - build me a reply worthy of 27bslash6 please...

[mouth]

Only recently discovered a site called 27bslash6, written by a man after my own heart. I'd seen some of the articles before but hadn't looked into in depth.

http://27bslash6.com/

I've decided it will be fun to reply in a similar vein to my local council, who are currently looking for £700+ from me, for outstanding parking fines, so looking for suggestions from Blondes please. I don't want to go down the "here's my drawing of a spider" route: looking for original ideas for a polite but totally irrellevant reply, which I can spin out for a while mainly for my own entertainment, and also to put off paying the fines.

Should also point out that if I get arrested for non payment of fines I will not incriminate Blonde Poker or any individual members!

Below is the email from my local Council:

Dear Ms Cove,

 
I write with regard to the above, whilst I understand it has been over 15 months since I last contacted you.  I would advise that as a result of going through all our outstanding files it has been brought to my attention that the instalment plan we set up in agreement with you, still has 7 cases outstanding.  The last payment being received in February 2010.

 

The cases are as follows:

 

SF24125380 = £90

SF33112947 = £95

SF35094198 = £95

SF29104333 = £95

SF23115417 = £90

SF24117553 = £90

SF7003899A = £80

Total               = £725

 

The plan that you agreed to was to pay £100 per month, I would therefore ask if you are able to recommence this plan in order to bring the cases to a close.

 

I look forward to your earliest reply.

 

Regards

Linda Beatty

Parking Services

[celtic]

Dear Linda,

Fuck off.

Yours sincerely

Caroline Cougar.

[mouth]

I like it.

However, I'm tryingh to move aside from my natural style: the hint was in the OP where I asked for a "polite but irrelevant" reply.
 
You obviously read "irreverent"




Anymore?

[mulhuzz]

omg.

I bought the 27b/6 book and I defo answer such inquiries in his vein of thought.

pls let me respond when sober. no replying till then!

(edit: should be in about 12 hours, for a three hour window....)

[mouth]

omg.

I bought the 27b/6 book and I defo answer such inquiries in his vein of thought.

pls let me respond when sober. no replying till then!

(edit: should be in about 12 hours, for a three hour window....)

LOL I'm holding back myself due to a few scoops earlier, welcome all input!

[mulhuzz]

btw: if you email him, I believe david will also reply for you....

[mouth]

Should point out, I will send an email once all contributers have decided it's ready to go, and will publish their reply, this could run and run.


If anyone knows how to post the actual emails let me know as will defo add to the thread lol.

[mulhuzz]

Should point out, I will send an email once all contributers have decided it's ready to go, and will publish their reply, this could run and run.


If anyone knows how to post the actual emails let me know as will defo add to the thread lol.

copy paste? or screenshot them imo

[mouth]

btw: if you email him, I believe david will also reply for you....

For real?


Will email it now.

[mulhuzz]

btw: if you email him, I believe david will also reply for you....

For real?


Will email it now.

for realz

make sure you don't piss him off though, or he'll get angry. you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

[mouth]

btw: if you email him, I believe david will also reply for you....

For real?


Will email it now.

for realz

make sure you don't piss him off though, or he'll get angry. you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

I heard he says the same about me. Email sent hopefully he'll reply

[AndrewT]

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

[mulhuzz]

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

never admit guilt ffs

[brummieboy]

Do them a painting of your car and give them that to settle the debts.

[mouth]

Dear Linda

Please find enclosed a cheque for payment of my fines, correctly imposed upon me because, to my chagrin, I now realise that I am not immune to the parking regulations which apply to everyone in the country.

Your sincerely

Caroline Cougar

I never thought I was immune and feel that a £35 fine each time for obstructing traffic and causing lack of visibility, blocking people's driveways, parking on fire station's forecourts, horizontally sliding onto zebra crossings, parking in disabled bays, and overstaying in short stay bays for 3 days are all perfectly fair. I'm not above the law.

I just didn't particularly care.