Having a cracking time in x, work is a little frustrating as we've got a problem with sending things abroad at the moment.
There are a lot of airlines getting a little crazy about 'batteries' now, which means when I send anything abroad we have to take the batteries out first and send them in a different case/ box etc and send them as DAC Dangerous Air Cargo... well obv when you send something on a plane as DAC people get a little panic-y!
So I arrive, open up the bags and get all the kit out to find the ladders haven't made it yet because they were too 'long' to get on the plane.... err excuse me if the russians can put a plane in a plane and fly it around the world and the americans can put a space shuttle on a plane and fly it then I think Mr BA or Mr Branson can bloody well get a couple of sets of ladders in one.
On top of that the guy supposed to send us the batteries seems to think that they don't allow DAC to fly to x... which is obv bullsh*t as we already have another box of batteries sent by another guy in the same department. SIGHHHHHH @ people not talking and the left hand holding the door open while the right hand wipes his own arse.....
Anyways, finish that and enter Saturday!!! its cheat day so i can enjoy all the rice, pasta, chips, etc... that i want! and puddings too... So I have a massive breakfast complete with french stick sandwhich that had 4 bits of bacon, 2 eggs, baked beans and lots of chilli!!!! BOOOM! Nailed that and the rest of the stuff on my plate, while leaving i grabbed a chocolate croissant obv.
Get to Lunch and hit McDonalds harddd! I'm not a fan in the UK but in some countries McD's is actually good quality food, they use proper cuts of meat and good veg etc.... obv its still fast food but its better than normal... that and they have spicy chicken versions of things which is super tasty!
So Lunch involved
- Spicy Chicken burger meal, large obv with chips n Pepsi
- Double hamburger with no cheese and no gerkins.... wtf who thought about gerkin really?
- 5 Nuggets and spicy sauce
- Oreo and caramel McFlurry, was genius idea.
and a relaxing but fat tummy rub afterwards, while we watched the first fat person we've seen walk around and obv she's British and obv she hits McD's and only has a small pepsi..... lol love, you've done the damage already, might as well enjoy it.
Enter Saturday night....... We've got Sunday off and therefore get absolutely smashed on local beer in an Irish bar.... obv narrowing the country down for you then! Most of you don't know me in this way but with drinking its kinda strange, sometimes I can be an absolute ledge but other times, 2 drinks and im puking in a gutter crying for my mother.
However this local beer and I have been friends for a while and shared many a glass of the old berry juice in the past. So I'm comfortable to just drink and drink and drink.... We get to the Irish bar and pass a Dairy Queen on the way. For many of you, you will not know what this means.. but fear not, I will describe it. Basically its McFlurry style ice cream shop from america with a whole bunch of different 'specialities' and my favourite is the 'oreo blizzard' which has to be served to you upside down or its free.
It is a sickly sweet, cookie and ice cream combination with a straw that i think has more calories than we're supposed to consume in a whole day.. and it only cost me about £1.90.
Boom, I ordered a beer at the Irish bar and went back up the 200 steps to the shopping plaza to get to
!
Get back to the table and the two guys I'm with were just drinking but with no talking.... after I take 30 minutes to eat my ice cream and none of us has said a single word to each other except a gentlemans 'nod' in the direction of some local girls with their summery dresses/ short shorts on...
Well this isn't going to be fun is it... so I look around and call the girl from the bar over and ask her for a local 'custom'/ game where you have 5 dice in a cup each and you shake it then 'bluff' each other on how many of x number there are between you.
For example, I shake my cup and look to see 1x1, 3x4 and 1x6.... well 1's are wild and i have 3x4 so I'll be betting big with the number 4 in this game for value or betting big with the other numbers for a bluff. I open the betting to 3x4's.... which means there must be 3x number 4 between our 15 dice... well that's obviously going to be easy to achieve so one of the other guys outbids me to 3x6.... and the next to 5x2.... etc etc etc... When you can no longer outbid someone you 'call' and then we count up their bet vs the actual dice! If they were correct or there are more than they said then you drink.... if not they drink.
Pretty simple really and you may have seen it on 'Pirates of the Caribbean'.
We play this for most of the night, and eventually get the bar owners Chris and Shang involved. Chris tends to the other customers but Shang is a laugh and injects some fun into the conversations. She calls over a mate, Vivi and now we've got 5x 5 dice in play which makes the game a lot of fun and starts to get very messy with bet sizing and bluffing being massive. By this point I'm getting rather pissed, as are my colleagues and then Vivi leaves and we carry on. Chris n Shang are setting up the projector outside for the footy and we end up leaving that bar going to a different one to watch the footy. Continuing to get aboslutely smashed as we go. I've lost the guys, maybe i left them at the bar, I can't remember. And end up chatting to some scottish guy about how and why he came to x...
"lost my job and thought f*ck it, why not"..... lol people love this place.
I need to toilet and go to find only squat toilets and no toilet paper..... - uhoh I'm not very good at the balancing thing and I'm not able to do a proper squat with jeans on.... WTF.....
So I end up holding onto the plastic toilet door with one hand and leaning my arse back over the wet floor and trying to not shit into my own trousers... - deep joy!
Obviously I've got a monster one on the way and obv doing all this when I've had double digits worth of pints of ber already!
This takes goodness knows how long and eventually i get almost done, having changed hands on holding myself up on the toilet door a bunch of times. I go to stand up then get a massive push and miss the hole in the fllor with that one... going all over the back of the 'cubicle' floor and the flushing pedal..... woops. Finish and try to get a clean 'break' so theres nothing to wipe since I've got no toilet paper and we're done... waddle out of the stall and try to do my jeans up. Cue headrush.. and I almost fall back into my own crap.... lolz. #lifeofatravellingape
I get back out and while chatting to the guy and some girl and getting more drunk.. not sure who paid but my glass was never empty and i dont remember paying for anything... might've minesweeped a few I guess!? Then the sun comes up and everyones shouting... I think Chelsea just won the Champions league, but I don't know for sure as I can't see the telly.
Eventually we're the only ones left and its like 0630am or something.. so time to go find the hotel. Except I don't know where I am or where it is. Ahhhh...
I don't know how long i was wandering around for but I find McD's and now know where I am, I go in but they only have the 'breakfast menu' which is horrible and ridiculous so I leggit and get back to the hotel.
I wakeup in my armchair in my room at 12pm and decide I probably ought to go to bed, then wakeup around 1640 and decide today is a write-off... text my colleague to arrange tonights cinema and pass out. 1845 and we're up again, order room service but can't eat the salmon and veg when it comes to back to bed. 2000 and we're finally up for the day, eat the salmon and its time to go to see MIB 3!
Get to the cinema and they dont have MIB till next week so we get Avengers tickets and then go sit in the restaurant opposite, who clearly don't get white people in very often and the waitresses get us some beers while trying to take sneaky photos of us. When my colleague spotted them she actually slowly crawled down behind a divide like in a cartoon sketch or something.. was so lol. We ask them over and have photos with them all making silly faces and so on...
Then Avengers in 3D and it rocked as hard as it did last week when I saw it...
Happy days but now I'm in my room, wide awake at silly o'clock in the morning and have to get up in a few hours for work. GG me tomorrow...
S'ok havent got ladders to go up and the drills dont work without the batteries that aren't coming anyways!!!!
peace...
x
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