The True Rastafish Story

Making babies…

Sonia B, my first love… It was 1974 and house parties were on the up for young black teenagers. Word would spread between the young black community in the matter of hours about a house party, which when you think about it was amazing because there were no mobile phones, no twitter and no facebook.

It was a Saturday afternoon and me my friend Derek got news that there was to be a house party in Brockley, so we put on our best clothes, Brute and started making our way to the house party. These times were really different, the regular buses would only go to central points and taxi drivers were reluctant to pick up black youths, so we had no choice but to walk.

We started walking, we got to the house at around midnight, walked in and saw all the regular faces and some new ones, music pumping (remember these days we could only listen to reggae music at house parties and concerts) everyone was young and the energy was electrifying, there was never any violence at these parties and because we were from minority families everyone tended to be nice and respectful to one another.

Sonia B. I saw her across the dance floor, she was young and pretty with a body like a coca cola bottle. I had to talk to her, for all that know me know that it wasn’t difficult to strike up a conversation. I walked over and introduced myself she was shy but receptive, she liked that I made her laugh and we cracked a few jokes and shared a few moments, we arranged to meet the following week and left.

We met up at the party the next week, we laughed we joked and even shared a kiss, we just clicked it all felt natural, if felt like Sonia was almost related to me. Before our dates I would look forward to seeing her, I’d get butterflies and catch myself looking for the best outfit to wear; I’d had girlfriends before but nothing as special as this. I was in Love. When we were together it felt like the rest of the world didn’t matter, we were young ambitious and both from immigrant families so we understood each other.

At that time I was flat sharing in the West end with my friend Derek, it wasn’t long before me and Sonia moved in together. I remember the day I went over to see Sonia’s parents to ask if they would mind Sonia and me living together, her parents were nice they liked that I came to ask their permission first and that I introduced myself in loyal & respectful manner. They were reserved about our relationship but I assured them I would take care of her and if there were any issues I would be the man of the house and take care of them.

We moved in together and I got some work in a restaurant, it wasn’t long before Sonia became pregnant and I faced the prospect of becoming a father. All sorts of things went through my head, would we be able to afford to raise our baby, would we make good parents. All thoughts disappeared when I came home to Sonia every night and it was only me Sonia and the bump. I was excited, I’d talk to the bump and picture what the baby would look like, I’d picture our family on Christmas’s and birthdays sitting around the dinner table, it was a nice thought, I was ready for fatherhood I knew I was, I may have been young but I was responsible. I knew with Sonia by my side I could take on the world.

Sonia’s water broke on 20st June 1975 we got a lift to Lewisham hospital and waited, Sonia was in pain and we knew the baby was coming soon, we waited and waited I was in the hospital for 12 hours, one of the midwifes advised me to get some food for myself to keep my energy up, I walked down the road and got myself a sandwich ate it in the café and walked back to the hospital.

When I got back to the hospital the midwifes took me into the labor room straight away, Sonia had delivered in the 45 minutes that I was out of the hospital, I was introduced to my daughter I looked at her in the eyes, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, I was so happy that my eyes started tearing I couldn’t believe I was a father and that my baby was so perfect. I looked at Sonia, I was so proud of her, she’d given me this beautiful baby and no matter what I did for her in the future nothing would come close to what she had done for me. We were a proper family.

Some of my friends had described the feeling of becoming a father to me before, but nothing they said prepared me for the joy that I felt when I became a father, I was so happy that I ran from Lewisham hospital all the way to Beckinham to tell all my family and friends.

Venitia Tomlin was born fit and healthy on 21st June 1975, to a very proud mother Sonia and father Rastafish