The Seven rules of Poker

[Mohican]

Otherwise known as the seven reasons why you are the best player in the world.

Rule 1) Limping
 When you do it you are disguising the strength of your hand
 When they do it they are a fish who doesnt know how to play the game

Rule 2) Calling a raise out of position with a weak hand.
 When you do it it is because you are confident of outplaying them down the streets
 When they do it they are just hoping to get lucky

Rule 3) Making a bad river call
 When you do it it is because there is history between you and the opponent
 When they do it it shows how bad they are and will keep paying you off

Rule 4) Calling a bet with nothing more than a gutshot
 When you do it you are floating
 When they do it they are a chasing fish

Rule 5) The donk lead
 When you do it you are trying to induce and/or confuse your opponent
 When they do it they are a donk

Rule 6) The suck out
 When you do it it is because you made the correct play with odds/ implied odds in your favour
 When they do it it is because they are an idiot who just keeps getting lucky

Rule 7) The tourny knock out
 When you knock them out it is inevitable due to your far superior abilities and reads
 When they knock you out it is just pure luck and will probably never happen again because they arent good enough




Stolen from next door,tx Talon

[theprawnidentity]

Otherwise known as the seven reasons why you are the best player in the world.

Rule 1) Limping
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it they are a fish who doesnt know how to play the game

Rule 2) Calling a raise out of position with a weak hand.
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it they are just hoping to get lucky

Rule 3) Making a bad river call
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it it shows how bad they are and will keep paying you off

Rule 4) Calling a bet with nothing more than a gutshot
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it they are a chasing fish

Rule 5) The donk lead
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it they are a donk

Rule 6) The suck out
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they do it it is because they are an idiot who just keeps getting lucky

Rule 7) The tourny knock out
 'cause you're the sickest mofo in the room
 When they knock you out it is just pure luck and will probably never happen again because they arent good enough

fixed

[Mohican]

You make a valid point tomsom.

[Tal]

You just ended 2+2

[smurf]

Like 

[jgcblack]

You make a valid point tomsom.

sigh....

[cambridgealex]

so true.

another classic one is

"raising to find out where you are" is considered fishy, but it's ok if you call it "defining your opponents range"

[Rexas]

Raising for information is still a sore subject :p

[Karabiner]

When I win it's skill.

When I lose it's variance.

[DungBeetle]

Indeed.  How many losing players hide behind the concept of variance?  They'll play 90 years and go to their graves believing that they simply haven't played enough hands to let their "edge" win through.

[theprawnidentity]

If you're worrying about variance you're doing it wrong.  Just dont post everytime you have a losing session and make sure the whole world knows about it when you make some money, this way you will always be profitable.

Job done.