Selling it like it is. Sale Cancelled.

[cambridgealex]

Eso has let me on 5% of his so I'm on board too yay! Good luck Tom.

[BorntoBubble]

Best of blonde. I was confused why a staking thread had hit 5 pages without a ball being bowled but this has been fun to catch up on! Hope you get the lot!

[rfgqqabc]

Got there in the end. Gl Tom.

[RED-DOG]

There is just one more thing that I want to get off my chest before tomorrow.

The last time I played poker at DTD, I went on tilt.

“But you don’t go on tilt” I hear you cry, well ask Evilpie or Chili if you don't believe me. They were on the receiving end of my rants during the breaks,

On my table there was a bloke sitting opposite me who looked exactly like Hank from Breaking Bad. He looked like him, but there the similarity ended. Breaking Bad Hank was worldly wise, thoughtful and shrewd. My Hank was as nutty as squirrel shit.

When it was his turn to act, he would slide his bum off his chair and sink towards the floor until his nose was level with the edge of the table, then he would close one eye and spy at each player in turn. During this performance he would purse his lips in an exaggerated fashion, like he was trying to have a shave while sucking on a particularly tart sherbet lemon.

Blinds 50 / 100, I made it 275 to go with AKos from mid position. Hank gave me the full scootch-down, one eyed stare treatment and called my bet, giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl.

The flop came AKx two hearts. I bet 550.

Hank spent 30 seconds or so rehearsing for an upcoming gurning contest, and then he called.

What could I put him on here? AJ, KJ, KQ, a flush draw…?

The turn was a nice safe black 8, I bet 1400 and he called quickly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little alarm bell started ringing.

The river card was the 7 of hearts.

Fuck! Now what?

I had a bit of a think and decided that there was no point in me betting again here, I would simply be inflating a pot that I was no longer sure I was ahead in, so I decided to check-call.

I checked and he insta bet 5000.

I wanted to call, I really did, but when I looked across at him he had gone back to gurning and spying at me from table level,

It dawned on me that he just couldn’t be bluffing. He wasn’t capable, he didn’t have a bluff in him. With a soft sigh, I threw my cards in to the muck.

He raked the pot towards him, flipping over 8 10 of clubs as he did so.

“Dingleberries” he explained, pointing to his cards. “They never lose….  What did you have by the way?”

Christ! I'm such an idiot. how can I even contemplate passing top two here?

I shrugged the hand off. I pride myself on the fact that I never get tilted at the poker table.

Hank pursed his lips and giggled like Lucy Liu on helium. Looking at me with one eye closed he whispered, “Dingleberries.”

I smiled at him, shattering one of my molars in the process.

Unfortunately, there was worse to come…..

[dreenie]

There is just one more thing that I want to get off my chest before tomorrow.

The last time I played poker at DTD, I went on tilt.

“But you don’t go on tilt” I hear you cry, well ask Evilpie or Chili if you don't believe me. They were on the receiving end of my rants during the breaks,

On my table there was a bloke sitting opposite me who looked exactly like Hank from Breaking Bad. He looked like him, but there the similarity ended. Breaking Bad Hank was worldly wise, thoughtful and shrewd. My Hank was as nutty as squirrel shit.

When it was his turn to act, he would slide his bum off his chair and sink towards the floor until his nose was level with the edge of the table, then he would close one eye and spy at each player in turn. During this performance he would purse his lips in an exaggerated fashion, like he was trying to have a shave while sucking on a particularly tart sherbet lemon.

Blinds 50 / 100, I made it 275 to go with AKos from mid position. Hank gave me the full scootch-down, one eyed stare treatment and called my bet, giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl.

The flop came AKx two hearts. I bet 550.

Hank spent 30 seconds or so rehearsing for an upcoming gurning contest, and then he called.

What could I put him on here? AJ, KJ, KQ, a flush draw…?

The turn was a nice safe black 8, I bet 1400 and he called quickly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little alarm bell started ringing.

The river card was the 7 of hearts.

Fuck! Now what?

I had a bit of a think and decided that there was no point in me betting again here, I would simply be inflating a pot that I was no longer sure I was ahead in, so I decided to check-call.

I checked and he insta bet 5000.

I wanted to call, I really did, but when I looked across at him he had gone back to gurning and spying at me from table level,

It dawned on me that he just couldn’t be bluffing. He wasn’t capable, he didn’t have a bluff in him. With a soft sigh, I threw my cards in to the muck.

He raked the pot towards him, flipping over 8 10 of clubs as he did so.

“Dingleberries” he explained, pointing to his cards. “They never lose….  What did you have by the way?”

Christ! I'm such an idiot. how can I even contemplate passing top two here?

I shrugged the hand off. I pride myself on the fact that I never get tilted at the poker table.

Hank pursed his lips and giggled like Lucy Liu on helium. Looking at me with one eye closed he whispered, “Dingleberries.”

I smiled at him, shattering one of my molars in the process.

Unfortunately, there was worse to come…..

More stories please <3

They are very well written and had me in absolute stitches

gl

[titaniumbean]

Got there in the end. Gl Tom.

dat giffff <3

[titaniumbean]

i'm all




watching that gif.

[RED-DOG]

Got there in the end. Gl Tom.

dat giffff <3

Lol. The more I look at it, the funnier it gets. WTF is going on?

[rfgqqabc]

Got there in the end. Gl Tom.

dat giffff <3

Lol. The more I look at it, the funnier it gets. WTF is going on?

Some crazy Japanese game show. Something to do with getting marshmallows whilst wearing tights on your face. <3 google/youtube

[kinboshi]

Best of blonde. In fact, if you go and ship it this weekend thisccould be the best thread ever on blonde.

Dingleberries

[George2Loose]

U have to win just so Barry carter can use the poker headline "dog wins poker tournament"

[tikay]

Thread title states "Sale Cancelled".

So are you playing, or is the whole thread a level?

Ridic. Utterly ridic.

[david3103]

Thread title states "Sale Cancelled".

So are you playing, or is the whole thread a level?

Ridic. Utterly ridic.

Be fair Tikay. only mods can alter titles the days

oh

wait



great story though Red. Run well, play good. Write more.

[tikay]

Thread title states "Sale Cancelled".

So are you playing, or is the whole thread a level?

Ridic. Utterly ridic.

Be fair Tikay. only mods can alter titles the days

oh

wait



great story though Red. Run well, play good. Write more.

I may withdraw my offer to buy.

Or maybe I could re-sell it at 1.2?

[Junior Senior]

This has grim written all over it!
OP is clearly on the make.
Absolute farce.

Dingleberries!