Banker bets - cant find anybody to lay them off

[mikeymike]

1. The pope is catholic
2. When the arctic monkeys formed none of them could play a musical instrument
3. Toilet duck was invented in switzerland
4. The spanish for when pigs fly is when hens piss
5. An elephant call can be heard anywhere within 100 square miles

Please advise if you know anybody that will give me odds on my banker bets

Cheers