The offside rules for girls...

[jammer]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the  shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.

Understand it now doris?

[patman]

lol

any chance of defining it for the referees now...most seem to struggle

[PointsUp]

 

[Sheriff Fatman]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the  shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.

Understand it now doris?

 

You reading this, Mrs Sheriff?

[AwesomeAli]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the  shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.

Understand it now doris?

 

You reading this, Mrs Sheriff?

Sheriff, of course she is - there are shoes involved!!

Ali

[RED-DOG]

Thats a great post Jim, even I understand it now

[Claw75]

All well and good but, techinically, should the shop assistant not be waiting in front of the till rather than behind (presuming she represents the goalie)?

[snoopy1239]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the  shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.

Understand it now doris?

 

[Sheriff Fatman]

Sheriff, of course she is - there are shoes involved!!

Ali

Quite scarily appropriate for someone who has a limo sent to her by the manager of the Jimmy Choo shop whenever she lands in Vegas.

Sheriff

[NoflopsHomer]

Best. Post. Ever. 

[Rod Paradise]

Sent it to my ex (who is a football fanatic - we still go to away games together as ssorting the bank account, house, car etc was easier than splitting up the Away Ticket Group for Celtic games  )

Her reply....

See, my understanding (and I appreciate I'm only a girl) was that you couldn't be in an offside position from a throw-in. Is that wrong?
 
(middle finger smillie)

Sometimes I'm glad to be single - sarky bint 

[Trace]

Look at the end of the day  if I like the shoes and they are cheap, sod the woman in front I aint ever gonna see her again anyway, of course I'm gonna push in front  - m8's purse in the air or not.

I'm a woman and I WANT those shoes!!!

Sheesh you men just DON'T get it do you?

[AdamM]

and what make Van Nistelroy so good is he mills around at the front of the queue all day with no money then, when the opportunity arrises he darts to second in the queue, someone throws the purse then he darts back. thats why he scores so many...er...shoes

[essex GirL]

i'm wiv trace on this ..... i'd just push past and if she wanted to tackle me good luck to her.... maybe she would get the shoes but theyd be stuck somewhere and it wdnt be on her feet

[londonpokergirl]

lol i'm with Trace aswell on this one