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Author Topic: Vegas in a Handcart and the search for Charlie Harper  (Read 23974 times)
david3103
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« Reply #30 on: June 26, 2016, 07:51:35 PM »

Jim Jefferies is amazing live.
Saw him in the comedy tent at Leeds Festival a few years back. His routine about Michael Barrymore's Pool Party was unbelievably offensive, and equally funny. The Leeds Fest punters lapped it up.
His diatribe against a poor unfortunate who attempted a heckle was a masterclass of invective and obscenities.
NSFW
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Marky147
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« Reply #31 on: June 26, 2016, 11:24:50 PM »

Great stuff so far, Dean!

Hopefully catch up with yourself and Mr Galloway soon for dinner.

Only seen a few Jim Jefferies clips on Youtube, but thought he was hilar, especially his gun control bit.

Good luck in the meantime!
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Simon Galloway
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« Reply #32 on: June 27, 2016, 05:56:39 PM »

Hope he's warned you about his snoring, Simon.

Have a great time out there.

Fuxxxxxake.  You weren't kidding.
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Simon Galloway
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« Reply #33 on: June 28, 2016, 03:12:34 AM »

Taking Sir Donks to the baseball tonight, holler if you are going and we'll have a beer
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the sicilian
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« Reply #34 on: June 28, 2016, 12:58:31 PM »

Oddly the first event on this years poker schedule is the WSOP Monster stack.. played this last year and was very disappointed with my performance .. 15K starting and an hour clock should be a dream. Lasted to level 4 through abysmal play so this year would need to be better.

Crashed and burned in the 2nd level.. ffs !

Had been determined to keep it tight play limited hands etc etc blah blah.....some of it couldn't be helped.. flopped top set v flush that got there on the turn and only managed to lose one bet as he lost his bottle on the river to show the 8 high draw..

flopped top 2 v a flush draw.. got there...what could have been avoided was when i flopped the flush draw and cr barrelled it.. never giving up one pair... so once again i contrived to make a complete hash of a wsop event .

So an early finish meant we had more time to gamble properly.
Loaded up a full bullet of $1250 for an early shot at $25 progression and was carrying an extra $500 just in case things went a bit wrong.

Things started to go wrong immediately.. and a grind ensued.. i never had the table to myself as I usually like..always 1 or 2 players. To be fair most of the people here can play... there betting might not be very good but the basics have been learnt and we dint get random sticking on 14 v and Ace and taking cards v a six etc.... but the dealers are having there way with us.


I'm 25 bets down and go to the restroom... when i come back some weird blackjack player orgy has taken place and the table is full.. play slows to a crawl and the dealer is still working on their employee of the month award..... i then make a cardinal sin.. get frustrated move to an empty table that's a $50 minimum  and now play a $50 progression severely underolled. The inevitable happens and this dealer places himself in the all star category and we slope away $1700 light.

I decide to avail myself of the excellent gym facilities the Wynn has to offer.. and have a Little word with myself.
Day 1 and were already down over $4k.. not exactly the flyer we were looking for.

So team talk over..shower and my stomach has sent a note to my throat asking if its been cut as its seen nothing since the early morning fruit platter. Vegas Guru Galloway suggests a Brazilian res taurent called Fogo de chao. If your not familiar with the concept its where waiters bring greats skewers of meat to the table and carve it right there for you.
Its a carnivores dream... and we gorge upon tender fleshy delights. My youngest daughter would be horrified having been vegetarian and now Vegan for the last year. On a personal note I'm not overly comfortable with her being Vegan... every vegan I know looks like their undernourished and seem to have a lot of health problems. They also seem to go to ridiculous lengths in order to keep to their beliefs. However I feel I need to respect my daughters views and beliefs as i dint want to force my own viewpoints upon them... but anyhoos.. the flipping meat was devine... succulent Steak.. tender chicken and pork Yumm Yumm !!
We don't over indulge though.. which in a place like this is very easy and I give myself a little pat on the pack for the discipline that was missing earlier at the poker and gaming tables.

We arrive back at the Wynn.. its Saturday night and the clubs are just starting to liven up... the pounding bass lines reverb in the casino area despite what I'm sure is some excellent sound proofing. I have no desire to enter any of these dungeons of sound.. i remember back in my clubbing days laughing at the middle aged twat in the clubs surrounded by a populace all young enough to be his children.. i didn't want to be that twat..
Despite that the musics too loud.. Smiley
We make do with the never ending parade of young ladies who seem to have all entered into a ' who can wear the least amount of clothing without being arrested'  competition. Some have also entered the side event where they attempt to to get as much of their boobs out without being press ganged by Spearmint Rhino's.

I confess, i looked... I looked a lot..Listen.. the blood that runs through these veins is still hot... just don't tell my missus OK... just you.. me and a public forum knows..got it..good...

To be honest i thought i might have a stroke.. some of the girls were  beyond stunning..some ..ahem..we will just say..weren't ... i just find it a Shame they cannot afford mirrors in their houses.. but we take the rough with the smooth..and in most cases its very smooth.. oh so smooooo... ahem I'll leave the rest to your imagination and the report that the day closed better than it started.

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celtic
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« Reply #35 on: June 28, 2016, 10:31:03 PM »

Congrats on getting China mug to type your trip reports up.

Looking forward to day 3....
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celtic
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« Reply #36 on: June 28, 2016, 10:51:03 PM »

Hope he's warned you about his snoring, Simon.

Have a great time out there.

Fuxxxxxake.  You weren't kidding.

It's incredible innit?
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nirvana
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« Reply #37 on: June 28, 2016, 11:39:25 PM »

Congrats on getting China mug to type your trip reports up.

Looking forward to day 3....

Yep, great to hear about he's hot blood wasn't it
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the sicilian
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« Reply #38 on: June 30, 2016, 11:48:02 PM »

Congrats on getting China mug to type your trip reports up.

Looking forward to day 3....

Yep, great to hear about he's hot blood wasn't it

Your welcome
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the sicilian
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« Reply #39 on: July 01, 2016, 12:17:11 AM »

Day 2 of poker dawns with the Venetian $600...  chipped up nicely from 15k starting to 30k... but dwindled down over a few levels hardly playing a hand when an active button to my blind opens i call...float the ace flop and CR the turn..he looks uneasy.. but calls.. i shove the brick river.. he looks mortified.. huffs puffs..and tanks.. think ive done a good job selling the set but he finally calls for most of his stack with top and bottom pair...

Little room break.. and time to book some Blackjack time..win back the $600 buying and move on to the Planet Hollywood $600.. Plays shorthanded for quite a whie.. and seems to be playing fast but although half hour clock all the levels are there so the structure is quite good.

I grind for nine levels.. ducking and diving like Roberto Duran.. to say I never have a hand is an understatement... i manage to stay aroun 15 bigs all the way thorugh..

Woman who ive seen happy to fold opens to deece pressure.. rises and another woman flats..it looks a nice spot and the A9DD looks like Aces.. I shove 15BB... as deduced OR folds.. as always the flatter calls with KJ os.. with the immortal line when she sees my hand.. 'i knew it was a squeeze.. the fact it was for 80% of her stack and she was behind seemed irrelevant.
KJ flop J turn... and I can go to a very late dinner at PF Changs..

Sweet and sour chicken at changs is beautiful... As in other Diaries Planet Hollywood is beyond noisy.. but the Pleasure Pit table dancers have some of the tightest buns on the planet Smiley
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the sicilian
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« Reply #40 on: July 01, 2016, 12:45:48 AM »

Euro 2016 Monday.. England v Iceland.. we decide a little shopping is in order at the outlet centre where we will find somewhere to plot up and witness Englands continued Football march.

I sport a navy blue Adidas t shirt which is exactly the same colour as worn by the staff in the Nike shop. Despite the fact it says Adidas on my shirt I'm still harangued for customer service. I'm tempted to help Mr Osaku from Tokyo pick out his new Air Jordan's... i resist..just.

Make my usual homage to Calvin Klein.. pick out a really nice shirt... spy the prettiest sales assistant and inquire as to the chest size.. she seems flumaxed... chest size?.. on a shirt ?.. she looks like I'm crazy..
'the sizes go by collar length and arm length sir.. no chest sizing'..

What !.. you dint measure a shirt by chest just arms?.. are you clothing orangutans ?

Move on to under armour.. pick out a compression training top.. For once i decide I'm going to try it on.. most unusual for me as i avoid shop changing rooms like the unflattering multi mirrored hell holes they are.

I'm glad i did.. the things like a Lycra bra.. you could be shredded like Tarzan and still look like a fat wanker.
Time for footie is fast approaching.. really don't fancy some English pub in Vegas with the Oi Oi crew screaming obscenities every 3 seconds
We head for lunch at the cheesecake factory as it has the game on.. plot up at the bar and settle in for glory. The barman is friendly, helpful unlike the sort you would find in the UK named Barry with all the enthusiasm of a freshly beaten dog.

Now bizarrely, being a fan of the TV show 'The Big bang Theory" i assumed The Cheese Cake Factory was fiction... I was pleasantly surprised to find it did exist and there cheesecakes are both calorie busting and delicious in equal measure.

I go for a chicken pasta option called Bellagio... looking to keep it light.. i have designs on some of that cheese cake.. I make a good call as altough its a decent portion it doesn't fill me up.. my mistake was seeing a stunning milk shake being created and lured into ordering one complete with whipped cream topping and a cherry Smiley

The things like a 3 course meal... I feel bloated..oh no my cheesecake...

Meanwhile things on the pitch are looking decidedly dodgy... it seems Roy Hodgson has chosen the The Kings Head 2nd Eleven for this match as passing and shooting straight seemed to be long forgotten skills.

We all know what happens next... We slump at the bar..embarrassed.. we try not to let anyone know we are English.. I'm writing to the FA over my weight gains as I order the cheesecake trying to eat the pain away.

It was heaven by the way..

We go back to the hotel.. i have to lie down..and sleep for 3 hours.. that was some cheesecake.
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booder
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« Reply #41 on: July 01, 2016, 10:54:48 AM »

Diary lacks photos , a few of the Pleasure Pit table dancers should help.
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celtic
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« Reply #42 on: July 01, 2016, 01:50:46 PM »

Diary lacks photos , a few of the Pleasure Pit table dancers should help.

And lose some more money please. Makes for good reading.
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Graham C
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« Reply #43 on: July 01, 2016, 05:33:21 PM »

Great read so far, enjoying it Smiley
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Mohican
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« Reply #44 on: July 01, 2016, 11:01:16 PM »

Diary lacks photos , a few of the Pleasure Pit table dancers should help.

And lose some more money please. Makes for good reading.
You could write a great diary if that was the criteria.
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