blonde poker forum

I work as a community carer and the time has come for us to have the supervisor shadow us for our supervision. I have been dreading this because the woman that is supposed to do it hates my guts, and I hate her (it's all over Leon). Anyway, I asked my manager if anyone else can do the supervision and she said no, and if I have a problem with Adele doing it then I will have to leave. My friend Alexa also hates her and they told her the same thing but she's sure we are perfectly within our rights to request someone else for supervision?

I was supposed to have this today for 6 hours but I was sick yesterday so just carried it on for today too because I found out that Alexa only has to have her following her for two hours rather than six like me.

I don't know where I stand with this one. Can I ask for another person to shadow me? Will I get sacked because I didn't turn up even though they can't proove I wasn't sick today?

Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

Poppet x

No, you cannot get the sack for being ill.

You do not have to proove anything.

They would be well within their rights to "dock" your pay if they believe you were infact "throwing" a sickie and you may get a formal warning.

To sack someone, there are proper procedures to be followed. You can only be sacked for "Gross Misconduct" and throwing a sickie does not count as gross misconduct

Well I believe this to be the case, ask HM he should know.

LOL, well they have proof that I'm throwing a sickie because my wonderful boyfriend is a manager and has proudly told me that he is telling them today - nice!

I'll be jobless and homeless soon.

a lot of it depends on the kind of contract you are employed under, and the terms and conditions of that. 

I'd advise giving ACAS a ring - their details are on www.acas.org.uk

Is there a procedures manual that that your work follows? ask to see it to see if you can get anyone else to supervise you under their procedures?

do you have an emplyment contract? or terms and conditions?

Would be helpful if at the same time as resolving this issue you weren't going through disciplinaries because of taking sickies!! Must be tough though.

The thing is I have only ever had one day off when I went into hospital about 7 weeks ago so they can't really do anything about it. If they dare try to sack me then I have a strong case against them... bullying at work, breaching confidentiality (they thought they'd let carers know why I was in hospital etc) etc.

I will ask for copies of the manuals and contracts, but they've told both me and Alexa that if we don't have supervision with Adele, we'll have to leave. If we do have the supervision we'll be made out to be the worst carers in the company when really we are very good. I'm going out to lunch with her later so we can have a good ol' bitch about it!

Claw I looked on that ACAS website but couldn't really find anything to do with working relationships.

Thanks for the help and advice xx

Unfortunately you are in a difficult position..

You will probably be better off Smiling sweetly at the supervisor and agreeing with everything she says( this usually winds my boss up).

If you do not agree with the written report that is presented aftwards you make have a case and feel it was not true you can then take that further..

PS, Throwing  sickies can get you the sack .....

Poppet if you and Leon are having personal issues then you are well within your rights to declare that to your employer (go above the first line management) and request transfer/different supervisor/etc etc. Cite personal difficulties as a reason. They have a duty as an employer to ensure their employees are treated fairly and having your partner as manager is not a good idea, especially when you are arguing.

You should certainly seek some legal advice, if you are in a union then your union rep would be a great start. If they are looking to sack you, you would certainly have a great case at an industrial tribunal. Cases have been won for far less.

Hell, I won mine when I got sacked for surfing the internet back when I was 20. I *WAS* surfing the internet all day, I was guilty as charged. I had the formal warning, then got sacked for using someone elses internet account so I could continue surfing (every employee had a different login back then). But my claim of being addicted to the internet swung it in my favour and my employer had to provide me councilling and I kept my job - I even got an internal transfer to a better job because I said the manager was picking on me.

Poppet, is it REALLY essential that you have a job right now?  OK, maybe I worded that wrong.  Are you in a position to tell them to stick the job where the sun dont shine and then get yourself out there and look for another one?

LOL thats quite funny actually!

And people wonder why the country's going downhill... :)

The best advice

Well yes, I have to pay rent, car, mobile, clothes etc. I don't have any support off of either of my parents or leon, so if I don't work then I'm stuck! Plus there are other issues right now with me and Leon which might end up in us splitting and me having to move out of his parents house. I'll need money to do that because the only thing I own is a car and a bit of bedroom furniture lol, not even a bed!

I really like my job and get on well with the majority of my clients, but I will start the process of finding a new job, and so is my friend Alexa... it'll be funny cos if we both leave at the same time that company will really suffer!

But I wish I could just tell them where to stick it Trace, they've caused me enough problems over the months, it was their bullying and sexual harrassment with Leon that led to me being in hospital, unfortunately I can't use that against them because it was out of work.

I doubt that any company would be in a situation where they will let you decide who doeas/doesn't supervise you.

However they also have to be aware of potential harassment/bullying. Now that you have spoken to them they are in a very difficult position should anything actually take place.

Write everything down with dates, times and witnesses etc. This helps with any employment tribunal if it goes that far.

Sandy

Just looking at what Trace said, is it really important for you, this job i mean?.. because if it is full time you will not be able to do it for much longer anyway as I recall you said a few months back you had been accepted at Canterbury Christ Church University. So if I was you before i take it too far I would ask for a Ref: and start looking for P/T work to fit in with your course studies. Life is too short to be unhappy at work Poppet..x

OK, my advice, and it's gonna be hard to do, 'cos I'd wanna tell them to stick it too, is to go through with the shadowing for 6 hours, do your job as you would normally, if she has anything to say about the way you do something, thank her for her advice and tell her you will bear that in mind in future - be sickly nice - not sarcastic or cocky - just overly nice.  If you get a chance, ask her advice on how she would do something.   

It will be hard, but you need to rise above it.  You could always then go off sick the day after and tell them you came back too soon, and in the meantime get yourself to the doctor's for an official sicknote - Leon won't have a leg to stand on then either. 

Manage this current situation in the best way that you can.  Phone your local council and see if there is any chance of you getting on their lists for a flat or something, and keep looking for a new job, even if you have to apply to MacDonald's for the time being - it's better than nothing.

I'm green with envy. I wish I had so little, to be able to make a clean split from a person and not even have so much as a joint loan, never mind kids.

Why the hell are you living with his parents?

Out of the workplace doesn't mean anything if it's work related.

Sandy

They definitely know of the situation, this is the sort of person that COMPLAINED to the management that I waved at her funny (well I was trying to drive the car!) and I wrote in blue ink (problem?) This is all over Leon telling her to stop calling/texting him because she is waaaaay to old for him and already has a girlfriend. She's now got jealous and has tried to make out I'm the worst carer.

Correct

Thanks Trace. I know I can get a sick note as easy as anything, my doctor wanted to give me one a few weeks back but I refused because they pay £11 a week for sickness and thats after having a week and a half off first (to prove you're ill) If it carries on I will do that but it puts me in a bad situation too because they'll give my clients to someone else and I'll come back to work with something like 10-20 hours.

I spoke to Leon and he said he hasn't told them I'm well enough to work - so thats a good thing!

I will see how this week goes, I've only got tomorrow and friday now and I'll have another weekend off. I'll definitely start searching for jobs.

Thanks again Trace :)

It's not as easy as that. I live with him and don't really have anywhere else to go at the moment in time, and I do love him but things are hard, as you know. We're living with his parents because the plan was to save for our own place...looks like thats out the window for now though.

I decided against Uni for now. I'm not in the right state of mind to attempt a degree, I would join, be ok for the first few weeks then start having time off and giving up because I'm such a state at the moment. I haven't ruled it out completely, but for now it's not the right thing for me.

Poppet that doesn't seem right for sick benefit either.... at the very least you are entitled to SSP (Statutory Sick Pay) which is a good deal more than £11 a week! Its a governement benefit, and employers have to pay it to you then claim it back. It is one of the reasons you need a doctors line (so they can claim this back). This is the minimum.

Well it could solve you all your problems. If you are not happy in the relationship, / Living enviroment , use Uni digs Bobs your Uncle, sorted.

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/lifeevent/benefits/statutory_sick_pay.asp

Sandy

Alexa was off work for a week after she came back off holiday because she caught something, she had 2 sicknotes and she works on average 55hours a week, she got £11. Ridiculous

I'm off out to lunch now

Thank you to everyone thats helped me out - didn't quite mean for it to become a help poppet session!

Speak to you later

Love Poppet xxxx

If she averages 55 hours per week over 17 weeks (i think it's 17 anyway) then that would be a breach of the working time regulations if she hasn't opted out.

Sandy

Ok i am going to put my big foot in here, lol.

It seems to be my perception that you and Leon run very hot and cold, i don't really know either of you but from reading your posts from the past and this one it seems that way.

You don't appear to have any responsibility's aswell? No house, kids etc.

You say at the moment the money you make is used to pay for rent/car/future house. I imagine most of that goes towards the future house. With a man whom you have a volatile relationship with.

My advice, for what its worth (probably nothing as i have never been in this situation) is to sack the job in, tell Leon to piss off, go stay at a friends place whilst you get yourself into Uni (i seem to remember that was something you really wanted to do, and for your future its a great thing to do) then get yourself into Halls and have the best years of your life whilst you are at Uni!

Who knows you might be able to sort out your differences with Leon, its a lot easier to do that sort of thing when you are not living together!





I may be stepping over a line with that post, i don't know i just think life is too short and you are too young to be worrying about the shit you worry about!

Well fk me side ways with a scrubbing brush. Flushy makes a  :goodpost: ;iagree;

Please go to Uni if you can, just because you don't feel like it right now things might be very different in six months

You'll regret it if you pass the opportunity up


It will be exactly the change of scenery you need, you'll meet new friends, broaden your horizons and have a good time too.

I agree

About the sickie thing, if you had a bug you can legitimately say that you were feeling better but you didn't want to pass the bug on to anyone (you work as a carer so you must be dealing with people all day). Just because you feel better doesn't mean you don't still have the bug.

sickies arent a problem until you are sick for 3 days or more, then you need a doctors certificate.

regular sickies may prompt a talking to from the management, although for this to be used as any sort of evidence against you it must be done formally ,ie  - you must be notified of the meeting in advance, and you must be informed that it is your rights to take a witness to the meeting, and they must tell you in writing that that it is a FORMAL meeting.

ACAS is always the way to go if you have any problems at work , they have a emplyee helpline - 08457 474747, they will answer any questions you have and tell you what your rights are.

:goodpost: ;iagree;

And if they have a poker society, you can take all their money every week and buy a house with cash when you graduate. :)

For what its worth, go & be a student at Uni, new horizons & all that, but alot of fun.

What ever you decide I hope you can sort everything out Poppet, you're young & your futures bright.

STUNNED!!!!   ;iagree;  top post

Are you going to be this sensible when u r a mod James?? - hope not, how dull would that be!

NOT TRUE

Doctors certificates are not needed at all (unless long term sick). Your employer can refuse to pay you without one though if they think ur pulling a fast one.

You do not need a doctors note to be off sick from work.

really?, I had a meeting with ACAS last year and I could of sworn thats what they said..Ill have to look that one up.

- its 7 days

Very good advice Flushy  ;iagree; :goodpost:

flushy for mod!

Right so the world's turning in a different direction, or something else is very wrong, as Flushy HAS made a good post (there, I've said it I can stop grinding me teeth now).

Poppet, do not waste another minute in a job you don't like. If you feel you cannot leave, then go through your firm's policies and procedures with a fine toothed comb, make a case with everything you have said here, in an intelligent and objective manner, and make a formal complaint against Leon, your supervisor, and stand your ground.

Either deal with it, or stop moaning about it, and another tip - the more you are seen/speculated on/heard bitching about work to other workers, the worse it will get.

Do your degree, do it while you can concentrate on it (why am I doing 2 years worth of Uni in one year AND damn near running a business?? Cause I didn't go to Uni when I had the chance).

You are only at the stage when you have a few responsibilities once (unless you manage to win the lottery/become a gadabout poker player (sorry! Couldn't resist)).

Frankly, you need to sit down and go through all your millions of postings on this forum, and make a note of how many times you have said you had a spat with Leon. Is anyone worth that sort of hassle? Hands up all who know the answer.....

Go get YOUR life back.

No-one is going to give you more of a chance than you, so do it!

Ginger you using Flushy's login?

Good advice mate.

My experience is I was 28 and heading nowhere fast and had always regretted not going to uni when all my friends went after school. I thought i was the dogs leaving school getiing a job selling insurance and making a packet but after a few years found i was in a job i hated and things went from bad to worse. trouble was for years i believed i had missed my chance as i had a mortgage, loans etc to pay. Eventually decided that it couldn't go on packed it all in and enrolled at local uni. Worked in jobs which allowed me to study and live (we even managed to have a daughter before i graduated).

Now I am an accountant with a very large company and i hate this job too but i think i just hate work  ;ifm;

Seriously Flusy is right  ;topman; ;first; you have nothing holding you back, seriously consider it if it is something you have wanted to do and grab the opportunity you don't need to put up with that kind of nonsense.

Good luck
James

welcome back Heid!

Top notch stuff

Tytyty Mr End :)

Less is more....

not a maxim I'd ever adhered to, but if it suits you....

 8)

(http://www.stonewalldemocrats.org/trailmix/vicky_pollard.jpg)

Some more execellent advice poppet. But the only person who can do anything about all this is you. You might think its tough, its pressure, all the rest of it. But at the end of the day nobody else is going to be regretting it for you. Look at all the people here and we are all saying the same thing.

I never went to uni when I had the chance and though I don't regret that, I would have if I had the chance over again.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Best. Reply. Ever.

Now i that's not a wake up call, I don't know what is!

Astute ... Top Of the Class Moves!

1 merit point!

Wow. I go away for 3 hours and this is what happens, even though people are taking the piss out of you flushy, thank you for the advice! I have read every reply and you do all make sense. It is too late to start Uni this year, I think it's starting next week and I never bothered to sort out finances or anything because I knew I wouldn't go this year. It really isn't right for me at the moment.

As for Leon, yes we do blow hot and cold all the time, thats why I feel so confused about everything, we love each other, but at the same time we hurt each other.

I've had a long chat with Alexa this afternoon, she works for the company so she knows all the people involved, and she has said that she thinks its time for Leon and I to split, or have a break. I happen to agree. Leon will be home later and if he stays home I will sit him down and tell him that I'm going to spread my wings. I need some space, I can do my sort of job anywhere in the country. We have been together since I was 14 and he was 16, spent 4 years of that time living 100 miles apart and now live in a horrible situation, so I think we need to both be given the chance to 'find ourselves' and have a bit of fun. Then maybe, just maybe, we could work things out.

I really really appreciate the advice you have all given me, and I am thankful that you've taken the time to reply to my posts.

Love Poppet xx

Its not too late to try to get to uni. do it. now.

Please. Go to Uni if you possibly can

I've read through these posts,and have a few comments to make.

Poppet we are all unsure of change, and mainly hang on to what we have however little this is, but you MUST take a deep breath and change,or you will be walked over all your life.

firstly,your job is causing you great pain and bringing on sickness,this will only continue unless you hand in your notice.

Remain on sick until your mind is clear, use this time to A)move to another carer company,
Remember to look in the local papers as meny clints will now arrange their care independantly from social services,under the direct payments sceme.

B) you could do this or some agency work(Care Agencies are always looking for people prepared to work unsocial hours)

This would fit into your uni timetable. speak to the uni hardship advisor , who will point you to the hardship berseries available.

take the place at uni , put  as much as you can on the new loans available, there is also a hardship payment of £2700 available from the government under rules just brought in.

Take your life into your own hands and good luck.

Brendan.

sorry poppet, but that's the funniest post I've read in ages - best of blonde!!!!

 rotflmfao

so so funny

Poppet Pollard

just a casual note poppet

the advice given by flushy is top notch...as was a few other points.

I know you open up here and its good you feel you can do that - however i`m just musing that it may be better to tell leon first and foremost what you are going to do....that way honesty is the best way...does he read the forum, will he read you post....if so he already knows what you are doing and thinking and he`s not hearing it first hand.

all the best with whatever you decide...

The vicky pollard stuff: I never meant for it to come out that way! I was just trying to explain things!

Leon doesn't read the forum and I will tell him what I think when we get a chance to talk properly

Poppet xx

very sound advice. This is a public forum after all and none of us really know who is reading it.  I would never post anything on here that I wouldn't be happy to post on a public noticeboard!

I only meant it in jest, Poppet.  Hope you didn't take offence.  Good luck.

No I didn't it's ok :) x

Poppet,

I work in Admin in a University, my first years start on Monday (we enrol earlier than other Uni's).  IT IS NOT too late to start, you can still be enrolled and sort the finances out afterwards.

After reading everyone else's advice, I really do think that Uni right now, is a good move.  Phone up the admissions department and ask them if you can still take up your offer.  Go on take a deep breath and bit the bullet, the worst they can say is NO!  Their student services department will help you out with money until you get yourself sorted out with a P/T job.

We have students starting on Year One up to 4 or 5 weeks into the start of term.

Try it, what have you got to lose?

My advice would be not to quote names when posting about this sort of stuff, unless of course you are not worried if they read it. It will be sod's law that a friend of a friend will notice and get back to the individuals concerned.
Good luck with sorting it out though.

poppet

its not fo me to comment on your personal situation and im not going to.
all i want to say is you have alot of friends on blonde so if any of us can be of help in any way just ask

good luck popps whatever path you may take now but make sure its the path you choose xx

poppet
i don't think there has been 1 reply advising you keep doing what you are doing. i agree you should go to uni if you can. Scottish universities dont charge so why dont you come and find somewhere to stay up here? plenty of poker and nightlife and lots of universities. good ones too! maybe ironside would put you up in Aberdeen. its a lovely city. or maybe tank in Glasgow? who else has a spare room?....lol.

as for picking your supervisor, you cant pick :( but where it is reasonable and the staffing levels allow, you could ask them to review the situation. do this formally though and get hr involved.

its a very difficult situation you are in and you sound indecisive. no wonder! stress causes the brain to bounce about all over the place. you should get a day to yourself for thinking time. dont sit at home. go for a walk or day away on your own. take time to reflect and find out what you want. if you want to leave your b/f but feel you cant then try to identify the reasons why. if its about money then you are selling yourself out. you should be there for love and nothing else. a difficult situation for you all the same.

i agree with patman about the potential for leon and the folk at work to see your posts. if leon is a hothead and see's the post he could let the work see them and you have no choice about your job.

good wishes in whatever you do but i also vote UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww, maybe I'll come and live with you then :-*

jim d what a lovely guy!

was a pleasure meating you at the bash fella

 :o

 rotflmfao


any time you this way jim give us a shout your always welcome to play (poker) with the itb guys

I don't mind that hunnybunny! I'm more of an Internet Poker girl ;)

So when am I moving in? x

oi oi lol

looks like you got a bunny boiler jim  ;D

I'll volunteer ;)

Poppet,

I didn't get into Uni through the normal channels and I messed up the clearing process as well (aiming my sights a bit high compared to my results) so I just started phoning around. Eventually I spoke to a Head of Dept and got an offer over the phone - for a course I was theoretically under qualified for.

Going to uni is one of the best things I have ever done.

It is most definitely not too late. Be assertive!

Hi, I dont know you, unlike the majority of the folks who responded so heres a outsiders view. At you youthful age, you can do anything you wish, if and only you have the correct mindset, which isnt present at the moment. No disrespects to the people who shout go to uni go to uni, University isnt for you right now, these days you can go to Uni at any age, you can even do evening courses if you wished after a few months. It seems to me that your current partner isnt being very caring, otherwise you wouldnt be finding yourself in your current situation. If you dont like work, or dislike the people you are working for, tell them to fuck off politely. You have poker knowledge, go work in a casino or something while you settle your mind over the next year when you will be 20 - then you will have all this mess behing and you can focus on what you wish to achieve and hopefully you will have some extra cash, at your age you are too young to have a house, too young do be involved with someone who treats you with disrespect and someone who obviously hasnt a care in the world for you. Perhaps you should ask yourself why you love this guy, personally if something treated me badly from time to time, I wouldnt have much passion for them. There is obviously something you see in this person and I think it wud be in your best interest to move on, find a position in a local casino, or even go to the local employment agency, you would have a fresh start by next Monday, if money was an issue, I am certain someone somewhere would borrow you the finances to get a houseshare and deposit for a month. You said you need bills for your mobile & clothes?? Hmmm, think both of them could wait till u have ur immediate state settled a little more. Im guessing things are pretty bad hence asking for advice on here, just try not to make any rash decisions and also , if you leave this guy now and try and sort yourself out in a better position, its not all lost, some months down the line, he may realise what he had, and how unfairly he treated you at times, and it might wake him up a little. after all you never know what you have till its gone...dont be scared, there is always someone to help, and perhaps one day in the future the correct decision of leaving now might pay off, he might get himself together and start to support you a little more etc etc. Of course I am not aware of all the details so Im just guessing that things are pretty desperate. I wish you well young lady.

Aww thank you so much for replying Patriot, I agree with everything you said. xx

you are welcome. good luck with it.

GO TO UNI!

It's the best time you'll have!

I moved away to uni in Aberdeen when I was 17 with no money at all, It was great!  Halls with random people, magic!

Move into halls, and get away from that muppit, you can get a your loan from SAAS, explain your not living at home or anything and they will give ytou the full bursery.

They will give you a hardship load from uni till your Bursery comes through, then your laughing!

I left Uni early to move back home, and I regret it every day!  Trust me, its the best decision you will ever make, plus you get to start an independant life

Good luck Poppet.

Just been reading through this, it's far better than ACAS!!!!!



Poppet the best advice I've seen on here is GO TO UNI.... i wish i had gone aged 18 instead of struggling to do a degree aged 35 with a full time job mortgage kids wife etc.....
work hard and enjoy life you only get one... it brings the best rewards.