blonde poker forum

I lay awake for what seemed like a long time last night contemplating life, and what I want from it.  I’ve just turned 32.  I’ve been working in the same office for the past 13 years and fell into my ‘career’ by accident.  I joined at 19 as a secretary, employed purely, I am sure, because I was the only candidate interviewed who had experience of the obscure and archaic word processing package used by the office at that time.  Since then, I’ve been promoted three times, get a good wage, flexible working hours, 30 days annual leave plus privilege holidays and a very nice final salary pension scheme to which my employer contributes over £7k a year on top of my wages.  As well as that, I can do the job standing on my head and it gives me little stress.

In many ways, it sounds like the perfect job for someone who works to live, and that’s how I’ve looked at it.  I have a five year old daughter and, since my split from my husband, my own income has to cover one household’s rent, bills, council tax – more than double my financial contribution before I was living alone.  I’m not well off, but I do have enough money to pay my bills and service my debts, leaving enough over every month for food, clothes, the odd night out etc, and I use any income I make from poker to buy myself luxuries  – an enviable set of circumstances for many in my position I can imagine.

The trouble is I have reached the point where I feel really unfulfilled at work.  I don’t enjoy what I do, it’s just become a daily grind.  As I said, I fell into the job by accident.  Yes I can do it, but in terms of where my natural skills, abilities and interests lie me and my job are poles apart.  I’ve been thinking how great it must be to wake up in the morning and go to a job that you love doing – getting paid is a bonus.  Am I living in cloud cuckoo land to think that that’s a real possibility?

The other issue is I don’t have experience of doing anything else, and that’s dented my confidence in terms of thinking of what else I could do.  Also, inevitably, a change of career at this stage in my life would mean a big drop in income, which, with my current responsibilities, would seem a selfish and foolish thing to willingly get in to.

I just see myself coming here day after day, ticking off the days until I retire and get my nice fat pension, so that I can start enjoying my life to the full.  Am I naïve to think that for people of working age that’s not enough?  I can’t help thinking that if I got knocked over by a bus next week I’d regret not doing more with my life.

After all this thought I came up with a woolly medium term plan – stick it out here for the next seven years or so until my daughter is a little more independent and I’m (hopefully) debt free, then look about at options working in an area I enjoy (poker, maybe!).  That of course rules out having any more children, which my biological clock might have something to say about before then!

So to sum up my thoughts: should I throw caution to the wind and try to find work that leaves me personally fulfilled but almost certainly worse off financially, or should I count my blessings (of which I am well aware there are many)?

I don’t think I want any advice, just wanted to write it down I guess.  I’m sure many people have found themselves in a similar situation, however, and would be interested to hear of any success stories or otherwise.

just read that back and sussed it - it's my mid-life crisis isn't it?!

i'm in almost exactly the same boat, i feel completely trapped by the money i earn.

Yep, sounds like it lol.

My Sister has recently been going through the same thing, unsatisfied with a job she had been doing for years (and could do standing on her head) and was unable to further her career where she was.

After several years of agonising over what to do, partly waiting for her two children to be more dependant,  she finally plucked up the nerve to leave the job and totally change her career path. She was willing to take a drop in wage as she too saw herself as unqualified to do anything else than what she had been doing for the last 14 years. The result has been she has found a fantastic job that she never envisaged herself doing, that she thoroughly enjoys - she even gets paid more than double her old salary to do it!

She was lucky that she had her husbands wage to rely on if it all went pair shaped, so it would be riskier for you to do the same, but it's by no means impossible.

find a rich bloke, marry him and never work again.........  ;whistle;

Tsk, primates. They fluke a couple of MTT results and suddenly think they're the Duke of Westminster.

Must be awful...!

sounds like a proposal

yep, sounds VERY VERY much like a proposal ..... CONGRATS TO THE PAIR OF YOU xxx

Oooooohh, I have just the link that you two need.

And before anyone wonders why I know the link, a mate of mine created it (and I had a little bit of input too :))

Clicky (http://www.chic-wedding-cars.co.uk/wedding-directory.html)

What a great post Claw.

Speaking from personal experience, I often wanted to get off the treadmill and do something exciting/satisfying, but if you have people who depend on you, you have to be very cautious. The grass is always greener and all that.


Even now, as a "Professional" poker player, I'm quick to accept a chop or careful to ladder into the better money rather than throw caution to the wind and go for the win.

But.... that being said, you only live once, and as long as no one goes without, gird up your loins, take your shot, and may the force be with you.

Wise words indeed. Mrsboldie quit her job because she wanted something else (stayed in the same company though) and she got a job that she only didn't hate for 1 day. She handed her notice in within a week and took a while off after that. I took over the job she left.

 She now has a better job but at the end of the day a job is only there to pay the bills and it's certainly not worth being miserable about. If you can find something/someone else to pay the bills, that that.

congrats on getting engaged BTW!

Yep. When you buying the sports car?

I was in the same boat but in 2002 I decided that it was no longer for me so I jacked it all in and went to work with my Father.  I don't have the money I used to have, I don't have the nice associated things like car, pensions, health cover that I used to have (well, I do have a car now, but only after 3 years of not having one) but I do have a great life now.  I can pay the bills and we get by ok which is the main thing.

I do get jealous of my mates that have well paid jobs from time to time, but when I look at the amount of stress some of them are under and the long hours they put in, I know I'm best off where I am.

I can just take time off and spend it with the family whenever I want to.  I come home stress free.  I have short days and finish early if I need to and I come in late sometimes if I've been up late.  Life is good.

I know how you feel. This was one of the reasons I left a very well-paid job in 2001/2002 to set up a poker/gambling company. It took a lot of hard work, and meant I was skint for 2 years, losing a lot of friends in the process (there's only so many times you'll be invited out if you are perpetually broke).

After almost 2 years of getting nowhere I started applying for jobs again. I was happy that I'd given it a go though, and not ashamed to admit that I'd failed. Then, like a miracle, in the 11th hour - and Dragon's Den stylee - an investor said "I'm in".

I was very fortunate that I succeeded in the end, but even if I'd failed I'd have been forever happy that I'd given it my best shot. If I hadn't given it a shot, I'd still be wondering today "what if?". And with the poker market the way it is now, and the excellent domain name we acquired probably have being snapped up years ago, it probably would have been too late.

Have you thought about discussing how you feel with the HR department? They might be able to offer some solutions with regards to the current job you are doing? Some kind of sideways shift maybe? They could also possibly offer you a 6-month sabattical, or 6-months unpaid leave (not easy if you have dependents though...)

I personally think your in a very good situation regarding work. Most people hate their jobs, poorly paid and dread going in :(

If you can hack being bored but happy then why change?

In most cases people are under valued in companies they have worked at for a while. Go for it mate, seize the day, feel the fear but do it anyway and all that.

All these replies and yet very few are offering congrats on the obvious proposal of marriage from Matt to Claire !!


by the way, when you get married i suggest you 2 have a double barrelled surname ...

Congrats to

MATT & CLAIRE MONKEY-CLAW :)

he said I should marry a rich man.  Reads more like a dumping rather than a proposal to me!

PS - any job offers by PM please.  I am good at typing, making tea, and other stuff.

LOL!!! :D

Congrats from me also!

I think when it comes down to it it's obviously very nice to have a fun, well paid job. But, it's love that really makes the world go round :) Everything else is unimportant.

Nonsense, we have all seen his MTT results ;)

perhaps we have a different definition of the word 'rich'!

Anyway, all this proposal stuff is so 2007........

Well my career 'plan' has been almost the exact opposite.

I've had lots of jobs.

The ones I didn't like, I quit to do something different.

The ones I did like I got bored with so I quit them as well - (the only exception was teaching but I didn't pass the PGCE - can't succeed at everything)

My point would be that this now means my finances are extremely meagre because of this constant chopping and changing - by all means go ahead and try to find something more fulfilling but:

(a) (unless you get lucky) it will have an impact on your finances which you will have to deal with.
(b) Whatever you find might not end up being as good as you thought.

no, your not in midlife crisis, its only natural to wonder where your lifes going when you split from your partner no matter what age you are,and belive me 32 is still young, be careful claw, the 1 line you wrote i would think about is, As well as that, I can do the job standing on my head and it gives me little stress.
i would value this above all, ive saw a few people leave decent paying jobs to go to a less paid job for roughly the same reason only to find its no better than there last job, but now they have the stress of money worries which can be a lot more depressing than boredom at work. whatever you decide i wish you luck but i would give it a bit of time, you may meet someone out the blue anytime and look at your situation differently.

It is very, very difficult to find a job which offers everything you want and is enjoyable. As a civil servant, you are actually in a great position - you lack the long hours/huge effort and stress which not only pisses most people off about their jobs, but which also eats into their spare time, meaning they have no life whatsoever. In the evenings and weekends they're either working or exhausted.

Job wise, it sounds like you're on easy street. Stick it out for a while but make a concerted effort to make maximum use of your free time. With a child and a monkey to look after it's not as easy as thinking 'I want to quit my job'.

Yep, this is what my sensible voice says to me. 

If I were in your position, I wouldn't leave it in a million years.  You have a decent wage coming in which has enabled you to comfortably raise your daughter and pay your bills, without the need for a partner and his extra income.  Your job might seem boring, but is stress free at a time when you and your daughter could really do without added stress anyway.  Reading your post I felt 'Grass is greener' screaming out from the monitor, but it's 'Happy days' if you ask me.  For every one person who gets lucky and finds that 'dream job' there are dozens more who end up back where they started.  I'd wait til she's a good bit older before you decide to seek out the 'exciting' employment you're hoping to find.  That way you aren't under as much pressure to make the dream happen, and the dream might just find you instead. 

That's my 2c worth, but whatever you decide, we're still here for you and wish you the best of luck with it.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}     

 

Yeah Yeah, we believe you  ::)

working on it :D





























(the becoming rich bit!! ;))

I can kind of relate to this and other levels not at all.

From my mid teens the idea of working a 9-5 job like alot of people filled me with dread and that has never really changed. I got super lucky and found poker, while im not particularly good at it, I get by. I wouldn't swap it for any other job, the freedom it allows you its priceless to me.

I would say if your considering poker, it really doesn't suit everyone. People find it boring sat round the house all day and very stressful knowing that a turn of a card(s) is affecting your bottom line at the end of the month.

Great initial post, and some interesting answers.

All this "proposal" talk, so much pressure on the men (we have a hard enough life as it is  ;whistle;)

Is it not 2008, a Leap Year? Tradition says it's the ladies job.

mid life crisis at 32 cmon you cannot be serious lmao, but like you i am in a job that i hate (site manager) but they pay me shit loads to do it and with an ex wife,present wife 2 kids of me own and 2 from the wifes there are lot of grabby hands all wanting their piEce of meat so i have no choice but to stick at it and keep all happy, except my self but hey ho when the kids have left school or home or i get kicked out by mrs A 2nd then i gotta keep doing what i do best,but after that wooohoooooo VEGAS HERE I COME BABY...

Nice to know my taxes are going to such a worthwhile cause such as yourself claw while Mr. Brown has stolen the pensions of private sector workers, while also caving in to public sector unions and allowing early retirement while mugs such as myself will have to work until 65+ for a pittance.

Dougie (A private sector wealth generating worker)

it's the way of the world..the civil servants (top ones) tell Mr Brown what to do and he does it because he doesn't actually understand what they are proposing.

I pay taxes too Ecosse, and I'm sure you will well realise on your massive wage, that it's always been the case that civil service salaries are well below comparable private sector jobs - the generous pension being the justification.  Some of us also take some level of pride in doing a job for the greater good rather than just doing our bit to 'generate wealth'

Yes, I might find my job boring, but I do believe it is 'worthwhile'.

I'm afraid Mr. Brown 'brown noses' the civil servants/public sector workers/the unions  just to gather votes for the country's Nu Labour communist dictatorship.

LOL ... "its a conspiracy" ... Cue tomatoes and world trade centres

Your taxes come from the wealth generating private sector, your top line 'gross wage' comes directly from MY pay packet.

Every single civil servant / public servant in the country is a drain on resources.

What really get's me is all the new labour non jobs, e.g. nappy co-ordinator, 5-a-day co-ordinator,  gay and lesbian liason officer. have a look at the Gaurdian job pages for even more Labour communist excesses.

Dougie.

lets get practicising those asterisk posts lads

Excuse me. As a Senior Executive Nappy Co-Ordinator for Gay or Lesbian Refugees at Hackney Council I take great offence at your comment.

If you'd seen the face of Mbenwe and her girlfriend when I showed her how to change the nappy of her daughter you wouldn't be so quick to pour scorn on our work.

**** **** **** **** ********** ************ **** **** **** and ****

Anyway name the song?

clue?

I just posted the lyrics! What more do you want?

Clue is .... If its in bongos record collection, no one apart from him and the artiste will ever have heard of it.

a job as a civil servant?

LOL at the Scottish subsidy from English tax payers  ::)

really? Well below comparable jobs? Is that fable still going around? That used to be the case..these days it only goes for the people we actually want in the civil service. (you know; Nurses, Cops, Servicemen) Not for the pencil pushers..most of them are severely overpaid compared to industry standard.

As I'm not actually a civil servant myself (although on civil service pay and conditions), and since pay was devolved to departments, I can't speak across the board.  I do know though, for example, that a manager at the Department for work and pensions responsible for an office of 200+ staff would be earning somewhere in the region of 25k a year (a little more in London), and there's no such thing as bonuses.  My office is a little different as our pay was enhanced a few years ago so that our salaries were more comparable with those at private sector Ombudsmen (although our base salaries are still lower, to take into account the pension issue)

No such thing as bonuses ? 

From The Times :-

IT’S not just the City high-flyers who are enjoying big bonuses. Senior civil servants are taking home up to £20,000 each in performance pay in a £120m bonus bonanza.

At HM Revenue & Customs, which recently lost two discs containing the details of 25m people, more than 350 top-grade staff are thought to have shared almost £2m, while bureaucrats at the Ministry of Defence have been given £44m and at the Treasury £21m.

Over the past six years, bonuses have almost doubled and the wages bill for senior civil servants has risen from £144m to £250m.

Civil servants are also enjoying record pensions. Almost 3,700 have packages worth £1m or more, according to the Taxpayers’ Alliance.

--------

Performance  bonus for this shower of asswipes ?

Top grade staff ?

Wouldn't last five minutes in the 'real world' - e.g. ball's up - your fired.

edit- I can't be bothered

Ecosse, Do you think you might be slightly overgeneralising "civil servant" - which covers hundreds and hundreds of different positions, when your gripe is only really with a few dozen specific civil service jobs?

1 in 3 people in this country are now employed by the state. Include all the chavs and benefit scroungers, the country is in serious danger of bankruptcy.

Of course it's all in the five year plan. Labour have already sold the country's independence to the EU (without the promised referendum).

I don't really care so much myself, I'll be dead before the current government's policies really hit home. It's your kids i'd be worried about.

Dougie.

You haven't mentioned immigration yet, do you still want to send them all home before the crash into airports again?

I think all the immigrants should be loaded into giant cannons and fired at foreign airports, destroying them and preventing further immigrants from flying into the country.

brilliant!

yeah we can just say there suicide bombers if anyone asks

So you think that the emergency services, hospitals etc are a waste of money?
fwiw I work for the civil/public service and my pension is less than 1/2 what claws is. My pay is nowhere near comparable to that ofthe same job in the private sector, which will pay 50% - 100% more.

Anyway, back to the original post.....

Claw, you ever considered doing voluntary work, CAB are always looking for help? (Probably no free time with a 5 year old), or get work to pay for studying to get qualifications for a "new" career? Don't know what part of the pseudo civil service you are but most of them are keen on showing they are "investors in People" and shower us with training etc :)

Are you going first boldie? lol

And thats the whole argument right there. Pensions attract people to public sector work because the pay is terrible in comparison to the private sector. The government has been trying to turn this around and is not being so 'generous' with new employees. Thats because they need to pay the basic wage and treat women and men to equal pay. The very thought!:) The country is a joke. Reward greed and capitalism and scrimp on what keeps our nation healthy. Do you know that we have such a health inequalities gap in the UK because of capitalism? If you look at some of the richest countries in the world like the USA, the life expectancy in the most deprived communities is over 10-20 years less than in affluent areas. These trends have been assessed for decades and its clear that the 'haves' continue to live longer and the 'have nots' die younger. Now in wealthy countries like UK (inc Scotland:) ) and USA why is this? It's greed! The more you you make the wealth gap grow, the more this inequality will happen. So why the hell should public sector workers not have an incentive, like a pension, to attract them to jobs that keep the nations healthy and functioning? Anyway, they will likely cop it 10 years before their equivalent in the private sector, so it doesn't cost the taxpayer that much ......:)

As for your predicament Claire, I'd go to HR and tell them I'm not happy. They know they will get more mileage out of you if you are content in the workplace. I couldn't imagine getting out of bed every day to do a job that didn't get my juices flowing. The other option would be to look across to the private sector to see what comparable positions there are? It depends on whether its the job, the people or the environment? Maybe your workplace just isn't keeping the exciting pace of your home life? :)  Think about ways of spicing it up til you get a change :)

this is me every morning.

:)

This seems to have gone pretty off-topic. To get it back on topic a bit, I'll just quickly say:

Go for it Claire! You might regret making the decision in the long-term, but you might not. Worth the gamble imo.

To use a cliche, I'd rather regret something I've done, than something I hadn't.

p.s. don't sue me if it all goes tits up! ;)

I left my job of 13 years at the age of 32 in 2005...I was a stores manager and on a good £25k whack, but it was 50+ hours a week in retail going to the same building every day including Saturdays....no one wanted to be there and trying to motivate 16-20 year olds on minimum wage was tough and depressing...I had split up with my girlfriend so was single with my own house and never thought I would do it...but I jacked! did a few part time jobs until I started poker full time in November 2006, best thing I ever did! not saying choose Poker but a change is good as anything imo!

Good luck with whatever you do....

No one's criticised professional poker players for their tax-dodging, parasitic, unproductive existence.

Eh? just giving an example of changing your life....thought it would be helpful...

probably because on Saturday the 20th January 2008 i am becoming one.........

providing the donks hard working tax payers with a bit of entertainment in their spare time :)

Not you!  Was referring to the earlier posts!

;goodluck;




















(parasite)

FYP

Claire for what its worth i would say you should stay with your employer and look for routes to change within the company, I have screwed myself out of more careers that I can count by changing direction and looking for more fulfillment.

Change from within takes longer but its safer and gives you the image of a bankable asset within the company.

N.B. there is a lot unsaid for secure but boring jobs, if its that boring, find your kicks outside work to balance it out.

When I hit 31 I decided that I was bored with my job and I hated my boss so I did what most people spend there days thinking about and I told him to shove his job and left.  Since then I have not worked a day since, my credit is maxed out and I cannot find a decent job - whoops!  The grass always looks greener.  ;djinn;

Yes, but you sound happy (well, you come across that way in your post anyway).

Money isn't everything. It's nothing.

Money buys choice and opportinity but it can never buy love. Choice is actually a crucual component of being happy. If I want to pack my board right now and head to the snow-packed highlands, off I toddle. Not everyone can do that and not everyone has the choices people with money have. Money is the root of all evil and a world without it would be amazing. There are of course many levels of choice but some folk cant afford to have a wide range of them, thus hemming them into life. Money sucks, capitalism sucks and greed sucks!

If money is nothing, empty your bank account and give it to someone who thinks its important. Theres not many that would be willing to do that :) Would you?

I regularly do this (at the poker table and online lol ;))

Seriously though, I have no interest in being rich.

I've been poor and happy, and well off and happy. I've also been poor and sad and well off and sad. I don't think money really makes that much difference.

You've made my point for me:) You would not empty your account and dont want to get rid of the opportunity to make choices on how you splash the cash. Correct? We all know you like sponsoring the ladies so why dont you get your hand in your pocket and pay for claire to be a pro for a year? Does money disinterest you so my much that you could take this kind of chance?

lol - don't feel any need to answer that last post Matt!

I've been giving it a bit of thought since I posted.  If I'm honest with myself, I'm really not in a position to do anything at the moment.  I've just arranged to take a loan out to clear my credit card debts, and I really need a regular income at the moment to keep my head above water. 

I plan to spend my spare time doing more of what makes me happy (which at the moment is quality time with Monkey boy, seeing my friends, and playing poker).  I feel less 'stuck' than I used to though in that I don't see myself staying put until retirement - I'll consider my options when I'm in a better position in a few years.

thanks for all the advice though - it's been an interesting thread with lots of great views both ways.

Lol, I think Claire is a great player for sure. The Heads up at BB4 confirmed that one ;)

However, whilst I don't really have much interest in being rich, my two business partners certainly do. Therefore I cannot just 'splash the cash' even though I may want to.

Well back to the point you made at the beginning about money being 'nothing'. When the cards are on the table, or course money means something, except if you are living on an island/ living off the land and have shelter - then money means nothing. In this society money talks, end of! :)

My apologies if that was embarrassing for you Claire :)  lol

I emptied my bank account and "gave it" / did something with it for people with nothing/very little.

I feel by doing so I have given an unkown amount of people a slightly better quality of life for at least the next 12 months.

That makes me Happy  :)

want my account number and sortcode Taxi ??

Sorry Kev, I have nothing left, your to late

That sounds very generous Taxi but how many accounts do you have? ;carlocitrone;

Unfortunately only the one. On my return to the UK it is literally a case of starting my life again

And you gave it away willingly and with good heart?  If so, there no 'unfortunate' about it :) Sounds rather cathartic :)

I knew I should have gone to school!!!! Yes i did give it away as you say, willingly, so "unfortunately" was probably not the right word to use.

If thats how you feel, its the correct word.....lol  Is your heart still open about it?

I am more than happy with the outcome of my actions, Yes

Well in that case......... ;hattip; ;hattip; ;hattip; ;hattip;

Only just read this thread so replying to the original post, 2 years ago i took voluntary redundancy (because of boredom and fancying a change)from a company i had worked at for 9 years, i'd started as a driver/warehouseman and worked my way to management of the warehouse.

3 jobs later, i've never been happy and as a result i done my last day in my current job last night, later this month i will be starting back at the above company again.  I feel i needed the change but now have seen the job i was in from a totally different perspective.

So for me personally changing jobs didn't work but at least it opened my eyes to much worse situations i could be in.

Good on you. I also do this regularly. I don't want to shout about it, but this seems like the right place to post it I guess.

It wasn,t an attempt to shout about anything, I was just trying to add my piece to the thread. Maybe I shouldn't have I apologise for my poor addition

No, I didn't mean that!! Didn't think you were shouting about anything either. Just thought that it seemed an appropriate place to post.

Imo greed=bad. Sharing the wealth=awsesome.

My apologies then for misinterperting your post.