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Title: Glasgow NED Post by: GlasgowBandit on March 28, 2008, 12:31:51 PM The scene is a Glasgow court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD)
AD 'You say you went to your friends house that night. Why did you go?there?' WITNESS 'Tae get a tap.' AD 'Is your friend a plumber?' WITNESS 'Naw.' AD 'Are you a plumber?' WITNESS 'Naw.' The witness is a bit bewildered by this line of questioning and the AD realises it, but notices that the court police officer is rubbing his fingers of one hand together in the universal gesture of money. Daylight apparently dawns on the AD and he changes his line of questioning accordingly. AD 'So you went to the house to borrow money?' WITNESS 'Naw.' AD 'Ah. You went to the house to lend money?' WITNESS 'Naw.' In exasperation the AD says, 'You told the court you went to your friend's? house for a tap. What kind of a tap was it?'. WITNESS .......'A Sellick tap.' ;D ;D ;D Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Colchester Kev on March 28, 2008, 12:41:54 PM ???
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: kinboshi on March 28, 2008, 01:13:03 PM Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: TightEnd on March 28, 2008, 01:19:00 PM I don't understand this at all. Sorry.
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: kinboshi on March 28, 2008, 01:28:37 PM Say the punchline in a Glaswegian accent...
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: TightEnd on March 28, 2008, 01:29:05 PM Say the punchline in a Glaswegian accent... no, does not compute Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Rod Paradise on March 28, 2008, 01:42:00 PM A story that loses something if it has to be explained, but...
In Glaswegian (and general West Coast Scots) a tap can be a water tap, a loan, or a football top. Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: GlasgowBandit on March 28, 2008, 01:47:14 PM LMAO!!!
I thought it was funny. Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: TightEnd on March 28, 2008, 02:18:15 PM A story that loses something if it has to be explained, but... In Glaswegian (and general West Coast Scots) a tap can be a water tap, a loan, or a football top. oh, well how I was expected to know that I don't know! A Celtic top! why didn't you say? Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Rod Paradise on March 28, 2008, 02:25:40 PM A story that loses something if it has to be explained, but... In Glaswegian (and general West Coast Scots) a tap can be a water tap, a loan, or a football top. oh, well how I was expected to know that I don't know! A Celtic top! why didn't you say? Translations for the posh supplied on request ;) The super-posh can get their butler to tranlate. Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: TightEnd on March 28, 2008, 02:27:46 PM I am not posh.
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Rod Paradise on March 28, 2008, 02:28:41 PM Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: kinboshi on March 28, 2008, 02:54:40 PM One is not posh, just ask my butler, and my chauffeur, and the maid. FYP ;) Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: gatso on March 28, 2008, 05:35:00 PM Say the punchline in a Glaswegian accent... I tried that but only got 'sellotape' Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: barhell on March 28, 2008, 06:43:43 PM Say the punchline in a Glaswegian accent... I tried that but only got 'sellotape' I got stuck there as well Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Geo the Sarge on March 28, 2008, 07:01:14 PM Say the punchline in a Glaswegian accent... I tried that but only got 'sellotape' I got stuck there as well Funnier than the OP............... rotflmfao Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: Canuck on March 29, 2008, 12:44:40 PM I got it right away and Im Canadian lol
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: celtic on March 29, 2008, 03:25:32 PM i thought it was funny bandit
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: KarmaDope on March 29, 2008, 10:03:07 PM I'm a scouser and I got it, ffs!
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: matt674 on March 29, 2008, 10:19:43 PM I'm a scouser and I got it, ffs! that'll probably be due to the location of the joke rather than the dialect issues ;whistle; Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: KarmaDope on March 29, 2008, 11:39:50 PM feck off, monkeyboy! :P
Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: RFC on April 05, 2008, 02:38:33 AM The scene is a Glasgow court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD) AD 'You say you went to your friends house that night. Why did you go?there?' WITNESS 'Tae get a tap.' AD 'Is your friend a plumber?' WITNESS 'Naw.' AD 'Are you a plumber?' WITNESS 'Naw.' The witness is a bit bewildered by this line of questioning and the AD realises it, but notices that the court police officer is rubbing his fingers of one hand together in the universal gesture of money. Daylight apparently dawns on the AD and he changes his line of questioning accordingly. AD 'So you went to the house to borrow money?' WITNESS 'Naw.' AD 'Ah. You went to the house to lend money?' WITNESS 'Naw.' In exasperation the AD says, 'You told the court you went to your friend's? house for a tap. What kind of a tap was it?'. WITNESS .......'A Sellick tap.' ;D ;D ;D Spot on l iked it bandit the glasgow patter is lost on most poeple ...but it is got to be admired as we can understand it and the english patter when most cant ;-} so who is the got the most intellegence Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: gatso on April 05, 2008, 11:56:42 AM Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: hugob055 on April 05, 2008, 03:11:12 PM so that in a glasgow accent it makes sense too....... Title: Re: Glasgow NED Post by: boldie on April 05, 2008, 03:12:34 PM lmao..classic joke Bandit.
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