blonde poker forum

***Don't play HU SnG's on a neighbours unsecured wireless connection***

Tune in tomorrow for another wise and wonderful 'Tip of the Day' !!

tip number 2:

rappers can avoid saying "ya knaw wat am sayin" by speaking the queens english in the first place.

Oi stop hijacking my thread!! 

dog owners can avoid buying leads by walking their dogs backwards whilst holding onto its tail

Brilliant...

***If you put each tip in "***" it makes them look all fancy***

deaf people can avoid people eavesdropping into their conversations by wearing oven gloves.

lol at the pictures this evoked in my head

*** If you and 15 of your buddies fancy an espresso, you can save a lot of money if one of you just buys a Venti Americano with 14 extra shots of espresso. There's no room for the hot water and you just get a big mug of pure coffee. Costs about a fiver, but that's only 30p each! ***

You have to all bring along your own little cups for this to work.

Brilliant, defo going to try this one.

At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers.

***when having guests round for tea, ensure the largest of the group does not sit on the weakest chair***

A mistake I made this evening...


my mums ok btw.

in a similar vein:

**** if your surname is Toblerone always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job****

***Bring yer own chocolate***  Seems to be a shortage these days. 

Pissing on your left shoe makes the fact that you have pissed on your right shoe less noticeable.

Should I feel bad for laughing out loud?

dont eat yellow snow.,.,.,
and dont sit down with a lightbulb in your back pocket

I laughed whilst the rest of my family looked in horror!  It was quite a sight!

when queueing at the fag counter with 10 items and the sign says 5 items only at this till ... say to the cashier "I am a psychopathic schizophrenic, 5 items are mine and the other 5 are for my homicidal maniac split personality, I can get him to pay for his own if you like" then grin like Jack Nicholson in "the shining"

You will get served immediately.

@rsenal fans. Save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all who you support.

DON'T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on New Years Day, They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

lol @ Kev even beginning to offer out slices of his £37 turkey, he be forcing down their throat, ''eat that, do you know how much it f*cking cost''!!

***If you weigh yourself before and after a shite, you can work out how heavy the shite was***

A good tip if you want to know how heavy your shites are, other methods can be messy.

what about taking into account the weight of the urine?

Include that in the weight of your shite. makes you feel better.

Tip for anyone feeling a bit down:

Quality street wrappers make great rose tinted covers for glasses.

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Whilst cooking pizza there is no need to turn it over.

you forgot to add * make sure the lid is secure before using.

could be a rather embarrassing trip to casualty!

Nah, live dangerously for once.  ;)

Always.....I mean ALWAYS, remember to tie your hair back when epilating your legs!!! 

OMG how hairy are they that you have to tie the hair back first?!?!

hahaha

and they don't put reverse buttons on those bloody things!!