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Author Topic: Sovietsongs 'Tip of the Day'  (Read 3605 times)
sofa----king
sofa----king
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« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2008, 01:47:35 PM »
dont eat yellow snow.,.,.,
and dont sit down with a lightbulb in your back pocket
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one two buckle my shoe,three four,i wish i had velcro
sovietsong
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« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2008, 01:49:19 PM »
Quote from: Robert HM on December 31, 2008, 12:47:53 PM
Quote from: sovietsong on December 31, 2008, 12:04:57 AM
***when having guests round for tea, ensure the largest of the group does not sit on the weakest chair***

A mistake I made this evening...


my mums ok btw.

Should I feel bad for laughing out loud?

I laughed whilst the rest of my family looked in horror!  It was quite a sight!
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
Colchester Kev
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« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2008, 04:27:04 PM »
when queueing at the fag counter with 10 items and the sign says 5 items only at this till ... say to the cashier "I am a psychopathic schizophrenic, 5 items are mine and the other 5 are for my homicidal maniac split personality, I can get him to pay for his own if you like" then grin like Jack Nicholson in "the shining"

You will get served immediately.
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kevshep2010@hotmail.co.uk
Colchester Kev
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« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2008, 04:30:37 PM »
@rsenal fans. Save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all who you support.
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« Reply #19 on: December 31, 2008, 04:31:22 PM »
DON'T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on New Years Day, They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.
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TheChipPrince
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« Reply #20 on: December 31, 2008, 05:08:57 PM »
Quote from: Colchester Kev on December 31, 2008, 04:31:22 PM
DON'T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on New Years Day, They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

lol @ Kev even beginning to offer out slices of his £37 turkey, he be forcing down their throat, ''eat that, do you know how much it f*cking cost''!!
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thetank
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« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2009, 12:01:40 PM »
***If you weigh yourself before and after a shite, you can work out how heavy the shite was***

A good tip if you want to know how heavy your shites are, other methods can be messy.
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sovietsong
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« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2009, 12:07:31 PM »
Quote from: thetank on January 03, 2009, 12:01:40 PM
***If you weigh yourself before and after a shite, you can work out how heavy the shite was***

A good tip if you want to know how heavy your shites are, other methods can be messy.

what about taking into account the weight of the urine?
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
thetank
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« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2009, 12:42:44 PM »
Include that in the weight of your shite. makes you feel better.
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« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2009, 08:51:21 PM »
Tip for anyone feeling a bit down:

Quality street wrappers make great rose tinted covers for glasses.
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« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2009, 08:55:21 PM »
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
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« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2009, 09:14:53 PM »
Whilst cooking pizza there is no need to turn it over.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2009, 09:22:03 PM by The_nun » Logged
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Joobie538
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« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2009, 09:24:32 PM »
Quote from: The_nun on January 04, 2009, 08:55:21 PM
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.


you forgot to add * make sure the lid is secure before using.

could be a rather embarrassing trip to casualty!
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« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2009, 09:26:05 PM »
Nah, live dangerously for once.  Wink
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Joobie538
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« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2009, 11:51:13 PM »

Always.....I mean ALWAYS, remember to tie your hair back when epilating your legs!!! 

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