blonde poker forum

We are about to get medieval with the arse of the dumbschmuck spammer "Mumakilimmet" who started the Thread of that name, which has now been Deleted.

PS - Yes, I'm well grumpy tonight, so don't be arguing, right? Even greekstein.

I want to download free films

Why waste your time making a post about a spambot?

why waste your time asking about it?

All spambots should be treated equally, S+M steve never got his own we deleted your thread thread.

Assumption is that Tikays time is more valuable than my time.

I've fuck all else to do. He's got places to go and people to placate.

what was s+m steve offering? I missed that one. services or equipment?

Lol, some quite graphic pictures. Had to close it pretty quick with the kids about, then when i send them out the room for a proper butchers its gone.

Like members of blonde so very offended by the sudden influx of illegal and obscene spam?

Havnt you got a house to burgle ?

too early

Isn't about time you gave the whole sky poker thing a rest?

ever thought about going into international burglary so you can move through the timezones and it's never too early?

I dont understand either of the previous two posts

gag take 2 then


Isn't about time you gave the whole APAT thing a rest?

 ;carlocitrone;  keep going................

fk it, wasn't that good a gag to begin with, I'll try a different direction

Was it that good?

I cant find a smiley to best illustrate my confusion

actually it's like a combo of these........... :dontask: ;carlocitrone; ;sexybanana;

I think every Ban should be followed by a Thread like this.

Anyone seen my placate Hat?

It's ok, someone quoted a post of mine and said lol on another thread.

This evenings desperate search for approval can stop.

mine can't :(

will there be a meat raffle?

lol

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

always good to head out for a session of burgling on a high.

i do think back in the day folk were spoiled with "lol's" 40/50 a week, slim pickings though these days

It's not only that, but half the lols you do get tend to be from skint people with 260 posts. Can't really count them as a full lol.

Troubled times indeed.

 :dontask: ;carlocitrone; ;sexybanana;

Yeah but that evens out cos i only count boldie as 1/4 of an lol

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden but ive done it on another thread now.

(http://www.buzzine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/pulp_fiction_20080725.jpg)

Is it on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.




Considered

"blatant I live in a neighbourhood where people have gardens brag post"

and

"your neighbour has a garden!?"

but I've been overusing the blatant... brag post form of late and try to reserve gags pertaining to forum cliche #76 : Bolt lives in the ghetoo, for special occasions and #76strokeB (B for burglary) has already been visited on this thread.

Is it actually on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.



Decided to quote the set-up and insert the word actually

It's like a whole new topic

Will the underwear be on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.


Draft 3.

Changed first word to Will  (future tense so post agrees with set-up).
Changed it to underwear for clarity
removed actually

Tank doing stand-up.......

*looks up at audience whilst scribbling in little notebook*

"I've got a great fuckin comeback smartarse, you'll see"!!!!

get on with it then. I want to see what that one looks like

I haven't got a fkin clue what medivelage means ... but bollocks, I will do it anyway !

you have to ask local butchers for offcuts and then sell tickets in the pub

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqTTjtE9hv4

It's true.

Yesterday I was standing in line at the train station to buy a ticket and some drunken football fan walked past with his arms extended shouting "Aberdeen Aberdeen Aberdeen".

Too many seconds elapsed before I nudged the woman in front of me and said, "it's a good job he came in, I didn't know what station I was in."

Died on my arse in a queue, it was tragic.

Im up for that, just don't tie the ball gag too tight :D

lol, funny you should say that........

I was in sainsburys today and in one of the corner checkouts, gorgeous bird at the checkout, i had a laugh with her about something and then there was a load of old chairs in the corner, a strange and rough looking bloke was having a nose around them, she felt comfortable enough with us having already having shared a joke to roll her eyes at me in a confused sort of way, i sort of laughed and said something like: "they are really nice chairs though", she laughed a little bit and i'm thinking: "go on bolt, you're buzzing here", then she says: "it's not like i can say to security he's nosing around the chairs, i mean what can i say" to which i replied:"I think he has serious intentions of sitting down", now i get a full blown laugh and i'm looking to seal the deal, my potnoodles are stacking up now cos ive stopped packing all together, anyway comes to the end and i pay, she has a look over her shoulder and he's still there, rolls her eyes at me again and laughs, o.k bolt, time to seal the deal, what did i come up with?..........................................NOTHING, complete blackout, i shuffled off in dismay thinking about if the objects had been filing cabinets we'd of been in the alleyway getting it on by now cos ive got a shitload of jokes about paper receptacles.

wasnt untill i was in the cab when it came to me: "lucky you havent got a desk there, who knows what he might do"

FML.

How about something like

"You can call security and tell them I'm sexually harassing you. I'll keep you company while we wait."

Mixing in the deal clinching

"I better make it look realistic by asking you for your phone number"


IRL I probably open with

"thats my dad"

genius

Do you think i can go back tomorrow and try and work it into the conversation?

I never used to win the game try and pull the checkout girl while buying five identical items of opponents choosing.

Always a no score draw in every sense of the word. Me and my pal shit at chatting birds up, but great at picking difficult items.

A variant is to find very unlikely items and slip them into the baskets of people very unlikely to buy them. Multipliers for item-type and vicim type, 4 x bonus multiplier if victim too embarassed to kick up fuss and reject them at checkout, 15 x bonus if victim gets ticking off from partner at checkout, etc.

There was one lad on here a few years ago told how he used to take out the 'whooops' items from peoples trollys and replace them with the regular priced ones.

lol that's pretty low. Right down there with sticking security strips to people's coats