"Download Movies" Thread

[bolt pp]

will there be a meat raffle?

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

 

[thetank]

Is it on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.




Considered

"blatant I live in a neighbourhood where people have gardens brag post"

and

"your neighbour has a garden!?"

but I've been overusing the blatant... brag post form of late and try to reserve gags pertaining to forum cliche #76 : Bolt lives in the ghetoo, for special occasions and #76strokeB (B for burglary) has already been visited on this thread.

[thetank]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Is it actually on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.



Decided to quote the set-up and insert the word actually

[bolt pp]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Is it actually on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.



Decided to quote the set-up and insert the word actually

It's like a whole new topic

[thetank]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Will the underwear be on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.


Draft 3.

Changed first word to Will  (future tense so post agrees with set-up).
Changed it to underwear for clarity
removed actually

[thetank]

Draft 4 involves changing a full stop to a question mark.

[bolt pp]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Will the underwear be on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.


Draft 3.

Changed first word to Will  (future tense so post agrees with set-up).
Changed it to underwear for clarity
removed actually

Tank doing stand-up.......

*looks up at audience whilst scribbling in little notebook*

"I've got a great fuckin comeback smartarse, you'll see"!!!!

[gatso]

Draft 4 involves changing a full stop to a question mark.

get on with it then. I want to see what that one looks like

[Colchester Kev]

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

I haven't got a fkin clue what medivelage means ... but bollocks, I will do it anyway !

[gatso]

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

I haven't got a fkin clue what medivelage means ... but bollocks, I will do it anyway !

you have to ask local butchers for offcuts and then sell tickets in the pub

[tikay]

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

I haven't got a fkin clue what medivelage means ... but bollocks, I will do it anyway !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqTTjtE9hv4

[thetank]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Will the underwear be on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.


Draft 3.

Changed first word to Will  (future tense so post agrees with set-up).
Changed it to underwear for clarity
removed actually

Tank doing stand-up.......

*looks up at audience whilst scribbling in little notebook*

"I've got a great fuckin comeback smartarse, you'll see"!!!!

It's true.

Yesterday I was standing in line at the train station to buy a ticket and some drunken football fan walked past with his arms extended shouting "Aberdeen Aberdeen Aberdeen".

Too many seconds elapsed before I nudged the woman in front of me and said, "it's a good job he came in, I didn't know what station I was in."

Died on my arse in a queue, it was tragic.

[Colchester Kev]

By the way, Colch Kev has been delegated to do the medivelage.

I haven't got a fkin clue what medivelage means ... but bollocks, I will do it anyway !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqTTjtE9hv4

Im up for that, just don't tie the ball gag too tight

[bolt pp]

was gonna do a gag about how i cant be arsed to go out burgling now and will probs just nick some underwear from the neighbours garden

Will the underwear be on the washing line or just lying around in their garden. If the latter, they probably won't mind.


Draft 3.

Changed first word to Will  (future tense so post agrees with set-up).
Changed it to underwear for clarity
removed actually

Tank doing stand-up.......

*looks up at audience whilst scribbling in little notebook*

"I've got a great fuckin comeback smartarse, you'll see"!!!!

It's true.

Yesterday I was standing in line at the train station to buy a ticket and some drunken football fan walked past with his arms extended shouting "Aberdeen Aberdeen Aberdeen".

Too many seconds elapsed before I nudged the woman in front of me and said, "it's a good job he came in, I didn't know what station I was in."

Died on my arse in a queue, it was tragic.

lol, funny you should say that........

I was in sainsburys today and in one of the corner checkouts, gorgeous bird at the checkout, i had a laugh with her about something and then there was a load of old chairs in the corner, a strange and rough looking bloke was having a nose around them, she felt comfortable enough with us having already having shared a joke to roll her eyes at me in a confused sort of way, i sort of laughed and said something like: "they are really nice chairs though", she laughed a little bit and i'm thinking: "go on bolt, you're buzzing here", then she says: "it's not like i can say to security he's nosing around the chairs, i mean what can i say" to which i replied:"I think he has serious intentions of sitting down", now i get a full blown laugh and i'm looking to seal the deal, my potnoodles are stacking up now cos ive stopped packing all together, anyway comes to the end and i pay, she has a look over her shoulder and he's still there, rolls her eyes at me again and laughs, o.k bolt, time to seal the deal, what did i come up with?..........................................NOTHING, complete blackout, i shuffled off in dismay thinking about if the objects had been filing cabinets we'd of been in the alleyway getting it on by now cos ive got a shitload of jokes about paper receptacles.

wasnt untill i was in the cab when it came to me: "lucky you havent got a desk there, who knows what he might do"

FML.

[thetank]

How about something like

"You can call security and tell them I'm sexually harassing you. I'll keep you company while we wait."

Mixing in the deal clinching

"I better make it look realistic by asking you for your phone number"


IRL I probably open with

"thats my dad"