blonde poker forum

Been up for around 30 hours. Haven't been too successful in the last few days with the pokerz, needed to wind down a bit so I figured I'd trot on into town to busy myself with mischief.

Everyone's in such a rush and they don't very look happy as they brush past me. They're very busy getting to wherever they're going, but I'm pretty busy too, slurping at the bottom of a frappacino cup trying to suck up the last bitties through a clogged up straw. This takes up most of my concentration but I try not to get in anyone's way too bad, I'm not looking to cause that kind of mischief.

Anyway, I pop into the supermarket to pick up some supplies for tomorrow's grind. It's a high street supermarket and the checkouts are in the post office style, that is one big long queue and a digital display tells you what till you go to when you get to the front.

I get called forward by Grandma on till number 4. She rings up my stuff and before we get to the payment bit she picks up a bar of chocolate and comes out with this.

"Can I tempt you with a new Caramel Kit Kat"

Total wtf moment as far as I was concerned, took me a second or two to twig what was going on. It wasn't a conversational tone she was using, it was a blank one as if she were reading from a script. My brain eventually catches up, ahhh, Grannies been told to suggestive sell Caramel Kit Kats today.

I politely declined, I've never been less tempted by a Kit Kat tbh, no offence to Gran, I just wasn't ready for you and my default to such a request while I'm still processing all kinds of new information and sensory input is a "no thankyou."

As I pick up my bags to go, I overhear a conversation over at till 6. An older gentleman who looks like he spends half his time in a bookies and the other half in a Wetherspoons pub is buying some Drum tobacco. Teenager behind the counter asks him if he's interested in the new kit kat at all. (for the record, man says no)

So they're having a sell Kit Kat competion obv! Must be some fun to be had here I'm sure.

Was racking my brains on the bus home and, inspired by the thread the other day about bolt in the supermarket and his pursuit of some chick (and also my long term ambition #576 to pull a checkout girl while she's working)

So here's the plan.

I'm going to have a shit, shower and shave then put on the only jumper I own that didn't come from Primark. Then I'm going to go back into town and buy some more groceries from the supermarket.

Obviously I'll be wanting to be served by some chick who falls within a reasonable bracket. In the event that I'm called forward by Grannie or a dude
when I get to the front of the queue I have a contingency plan. I'll look as if I'm interested in what's on the impulse purchase shelves near the front of the queue and let the next person go instead.

Then while the checkout lady bags me up and we get on to the inevitable Kit Kat tempting part of the transaction, I can shock her by saying "fuck yeah, I'll buy 12" and then ???????? profit.

I'm totally attached at the moment, loved up with an Aussie teacher, (she went back to work today hence my boredom) therefore I'm not actually going to pull checkout girl, but I figure it's cool to try to get the number just to see if I can right? It's an academic exercise.

Now you might say I'd be harrasing this checkout chick and/or wasting her time. The way I figure it though is it'll be all good coz thanks to me she'll almost defo win the Kit Kat competion and so be adequtely compensated.


Example of intended conversation.

"Would you like one of these special new Kit Kats sir?"
"Yeah go on, I'll take a dozen"
"zomg allright" (in a way that scarcely masks her delight)
"I'll buy another dozen if you give me your phone number"
****she might say anything here, but I figure I'll be ok as long as I work in the following****
"Go on, we can go to the pictures, it'll be economical for me, I won't need to buy popcorn, I'll smuggle in some Kit Kats instead"


The way I see it I can't lose, but to increase the likelyhood of my success I'm currently battering into my third tin of lager.
Update to follow...

lmao

gl with this!

;tightend;

Full updates, including pics please.

good luck! Hidden camera possibilities?

could be an epic fail if you get the giggles prior to speaking to her but good luck anyway Thomas.

I just had a camerel kit kat while reading this

Not bad at all, my fave all time is the mint kit kat tho

haha, very good read.

Incred, Tank is back to his best imo

I love camerel

FYP

Me too, but i wish he would just post his stakes and not that silly points malarkey.


Quality post Tank btw :D

QUALITY post! Following with much interest.

Kit Kat Caramel not the greatest (I wouldn't eat three of them in one sitting) but prob too late to suggest thetank consider starting at 6.

I just hope they don't 'chunkify' the Orange ones any time soon - that'd be fat-tastic for me!

is she the type of girl who would eat 12 kit kats during a film?

great post - and i believe that a chap with your confidence could pull her without the Kit kat shenanigans!

However - i believe that the stores call it "selling up" - and im not too sure that it will be a competition between staff members! So she might think ...... "well i was gonna give you my number till you bought 24 Kit kats - your gonna turn into a right fatty"

but nice line................. i like the theory!

Good luck - great post

Lol tank. Gl with this.

And lol at andrew's fyp.

lol total com, gl.

Tell her you once played 4000 stt's in a month and it made BoB.

She'll be like putty in your hands after that.

you dont bring out the big guns that early ::)


bring it home tank.................

This queing system sounds like the Co-op or similar where the check-out girls are usually from working class or single parent families. I think going on a charm offensive and boggling the girl with the depth of your pockets in some Pretty Woman type scenario would only serve to alienate her. Forget the dozen Kit-Kats idea, this could be both expensive and ineffective. Just tell her you'll buy one and share it by giving her two fingers at the cinema on Sat night.

If you really want a challenge, how about starting with the line 'Christ you're ugly' and then seeing if you can get their digits?

lol this is class

''fuck yeah il buy 12'' is so com.

Don't ask her how many fingers she wants at the cinema though

Most likely isnt a competition, probably more like "ask everyone if they want to buy one of these or you're fired"

Fuck yeah Ill buy 12 is awesome though, plz do it!

I'm sure you'll all be very surprised to hear it's a fail.

The following is a multiple choice quizz so you can guess the manner of my fail.

What happened...

A. The last post I read before I left was Booder who mentioned the giggling. This got into my head combined with not being able to get out of my head Hazel Irvine yesterday referring to Usain Bolt as having "giggled his way through the quarter finals"  and I was barely able to complete an ordinary transaction due to giggling let alone complete the mission.

B. I got there and it was a complete sausage fest. Not one single bird within the bracket on the tills. I buy 12 kit kats off a bloke anyway just to see his reaction.

C. My delaying tactics didn't work because there wasn't a queue. I wasn't able to attend my checkout of choice.

D. After typing the OP and having a shit I couldn't be assed anymore and just went to bed.

E. The bird behind the till didn't ask me if I wanted a Kit Kat. Maybe the competition was over or she didn't give a shit about it anymore. Anyway, I was a bit fazed because all my pre planned conversations involved her trying to get me to buy sweeties. I racked my brains but came up with nothing and walked out of there having only purchased a bunch of bananas and a thing of milk.

F. The plan goes perfectly for a while. I have to let one person go in front of me and then ding ding, checkout 7 is free with some chick in her early twenties. Shes' about 7/10 so maybe this is why they placed her on checkout 7? I buy 12 Kit Kats as promised, but when it comes to following it up, I completely brick it because I was flanked by four men on checkouts 6 and 8. There really is no privacy in these places.

G. I brick it in the queue because Aberdeen is a small city and I'm worried that someone who recognizes me and knows my bird might overhear me asking some teenager out and report back thusly ruining my relationship. Or at least I use this as an excuse to brick it and back down.

H. The plan goes perfectly for a while, I have to let one person go in front of me and then ding ding, checkout 8 is free. She looks well pleased at the prospect of selling a dozen Kit Kats. I ship the phone number line and she politely tells me that she has a boyfriend. I'm a bit flustered and can't ship the line about the cinema and the smuggling.

I. I forget that I was only asking her out for academic purposes and I end up getting her pregnant.

J. Something else.

It's D or E

D imo.

I've gone A as quite simply you are the biggest giggler I've ever met

went for G

+1

J. Something else.

You went to the checkout with a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and a pint of milk. You opened the box and poured in the milk. You then just stared at the girl like you were the funniest individual on the face of this earth. Security was called and you were banned from Co-op for life.

this would be so funny

but b for me

lmao

vote or i'm not reading it

i went with E - if i'm right do you fancy taking me the pictures with your purchases anyway? ;D

Pure comedy!!

I've gone for A

I

Good work.

Lol nice one tank.p.s where dhd u meet ur oz bird.and was there any similar promotion based pulling line?

I met her at a book club.

First time I asked her out it was to the cinema and she said yeah. No promotional based pulling line but maybe there should have been. When I turned up, half the book group were there too. Forgot to specify that I was asking her out on a date and not organising some kind of outing.

Did you tell her about the 4000 SNGs?

No, but I have shown her my sharkscope graph

ldo

100% its E

F or H without doubt

reasons please people. just writing what letter you've gone for is boring. I can see that by looking at the poll

Sorry Dad.

I went for I, because that's just how tank runs, and the girl on the checkout simply couldn't resist his charm (and his sharkscope graph).

i voted F but it could be either. When people are telling the truth thay are able to give alot more specific information about the event/occurance. when they lie it tends to be vagaries.

these both seem to be the most specific

I think the answer is D because he said he'd been up a fair while and the beer probably made him drowsy.

Also, he plays SNGs for a living so is obv inherently lazy.

Well done the 11 who got it right.

One of you has to do next week's quizz.

I'm not accepting D as an end to this thread. Get out there and do it today ffs.

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?board=6.0 (http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?board=6.0)
Here's what you could have won....

lol

Do you want me to make up lots of fibs?

I can do that

no, just step up to the plate and follow through with the plan of action. Co-op will be open again tomorrow!

It's Somerfield ffs, not a fekkin Co-op.

If you're not going to pay attention what's the point?

no, just one great one that involves a sexy check out girl, a big misunderstanding, the security guard, the police, and ends with you on the roof throwing kitkats at the tactical S.W.A.T unit

I would pay to watch that movie. Who plays the checkout girl?

Girl from the real hustle.

She'd look incred in a tabbard

True but noone would believe her being a checkout girl (though obv her falling for Tank is more credible)

Bolt must have read the local paper up here, he got it pretty much spot on.

Just got an e-mail, thought I'd post it here as a - my life is so full I haven't logged on to a forum about discussing flags for some time - brag post.


Dear xxxxxxx,

We are writing to you as we have noticed that you have not logged in to
Flags Forum for a while.

Please have a look at http://www.flagsforum.com to have a look at our
recent topics on our board.

We look forward to seeing you back shortly.

-- Thanks, the Forum Staff.

nice brag, but I bet you've emailed them back by return for a password reminder.