blonde poker forum

Ok - this is just really an excuse to get an embarrasing one off my chest as I've been feeling really awful about it ever since, but I thought it would be good to get a bit more comedy on this forum so here goes. Feel free to post yours...

Recently had a client in, who after a bit of general chit chat admitted that she runs the local knocking shop, although only in an 'administration capacity'.

During the appointment it became apparent that she was a little more than an administrator, a few clues such as the ankle bracelet, various suggestive tattoos etc plus our convo made it apparent she was not adverse to playing a game of 'hide the sausage' with paying strangers.

During the colonic session the client turns from their side onto their back, with the speculum still inserted. My normal line when moving the client is "most people prefer it on their back" but when turning this lady over I said "Most people prefer it on their back and you're probably more used to it anyway" .

I don't know how it happened and as I said it I couldn't stop myself.

Anyone else want to share those 'swallow me up world' moments?

LOL

Please, a full trip report on your visitors to see you tomorrow....

oh dear. did she notice? and is it common knowledge that people with ankle bracelets and tattoos are ladies of the night?

Wiiiiiiii, Tracey's diary thread is born.

Can i also say I then went on to regale her with stories of vegetables - I was like a runaway train. fml.

they are a fruit, I believe....

"Wow, that went in easily."

So was she. FMl too

Trace: What's your name?
Client: Whatever you want it to be honey.

"Pay the receptionist on the way out"

"Oh, don't you just want me to leave the money on the table in here"

Lol - I knew that would cause a reaction - in general this is not a true stereotype .....just these type of tattoos......the whole package really...the tired dead eyes, the whole thing.

You could imagine her saying 'hop on dearie' as she turned over....

Was there anything interesting in the results of the colonic ?

Sandy

Once after several drinks i saw a girl i used to go out with who i hadn't seen for a couple of years who was clearly pregnant, full of jolity i wandered over patted her belly said congratulations and asked her when it was due. The look on her face was enough to tell me she wasn't pregnant and had just gotten pretty fat, i spent the rest of the night avoiding her and her double hard boyfriend and thankfully i've not seen her since.

Ugh......did the same with a work colleague 3 or 4 years ago. Fortunately she has a sense of humour.......

Wheres Jakally when you need him!

Jakally's pregnant?

You were too busy fisting Noel Edmonds

I don't care what the Banker offers, I wouldn't agree to that.

Change the B to a W as is the correct title for Noel Edmonds and thats about the most interestingly homoerotic sentence Ive seen.
Kin can you confirm what was offered?

jakally was a bit more subtle than going up and grabbing the bump though

I wished I hadn't said "I do" for the second time, thankfully way behind me now.  :redcard: ;D ;D ;D

"Call"

Laxie "OK, I'll Captain the Blonde Team" :D

 rotflmfao ;tightend; ;applause;