blonde poker forum

OK, pre Broadway this might be a bit of a mistake - but in the Spirit of all that is Blonde I will go ahead and call on the lovelies in the forum to help me.

I get very stressed before and during live play, so stressed, I make silly mistakes, panic, and do things that I would NEVER EVER normally do. I also turn into a small pebble on Brighton beach.

It's getting better - I know it is purely psychological, and due to some issues I am working through.

I am getting some expert help (no, not shhrinks! Well past that!), and they know who they are and they know I am VERY grateful - but I wanted to know how you lot deal with stress, and nerves before and during games.

DO I have a couple of drinks to just calm me down and loosen me up?  Did anyone conquer this? How the hell did you do it?

It is frustrating the whatsits off me, and while it is getting easier, it's not going away....I want it banished... help!

Any suggestions, anecdotes, ideas...?

Tar!

Heid
xx

Diazapan's cool

Try some Bach Rescue Remedy, start taking it a few days before, and take some with you, if all else fails - just get PISSED!!!

T
xx

Yeah .. I will try the rescue remedy - I have issues about getting pissed, so that's difficult (I don't have issues with alcohol - or other people getting pissed, just me being drunk - I know I am strange).

Do whatever you find relaxing, and more importantly, keep it normal! I know a few guys who would never be able to play cards in a cardroom because of the fact that smoking dope is an everyday occurance for them and they are so reliant upon it that when they don't smoke (such as when its banned), its something out of the ordinary and so they can't play properly. Ever doomed to the home game or internet.

I see myself at the table beforehand - what I mean is I normally think about things in the car on the way and already see me sitting at the table not scared and in control. I think through how I will be when i raise or call a hand and how I will look at the table, my posture etc.

During a game - if it's going badly, i check my posture, normally find I am slouching and  straighten myself up - bring myself back into the game so to speak and start playing again. Unless I keep a check on myself I become a spectator and not a player and suddenly find I'm anted away having enjoyed watching other people play - an expensive way to watch poker but common if you are a social player like me.  That said I have to remind myself to want to win, otherwise I get caught up in the social side of the table too much. 8)

I try hard not to be social - but I have to instill the fighting spirit in me before I get to any game. i think we are all in control to some extent of our results - if we enter a game wanting to win we will do better than if we go into the game wanting fun. I know blokes will sneer at this - but it's much easier for blokes (I think) to want to win - because they are built like that. Women mentally don't have that 'hit them over the head' instinct that men do - and that is why women find it more difficult to do well in poker - imho.  We are kind and lovely and dont want to upset people (cough cough) while men just plough through and woe betide anyone that gets in the way!

Just my thoughts.....Tracey
 

soothing music on an ipod (something like whales snoring or dolphins whistling!)

relax, you are good enough

enjoy, after all you could be sausage stuffing with a hair net on

table image, dont let them (me!) bully you.

and if you have the goods, sitck it up em with authority not reticence.

Not strange Heid - prob for same reasons I don't drink and if I do, I stop as soon as I feel myself getting pissed.

:goodpost:

interesting question, competitive instincts in both sexes and how it applies to poker

and by the way, if you are ever in a pot with Dingdell, she's got the table image stuff worked out

And if you don't just kick them all in the nads and run like hell!

get there early, having something to eat and mill around the cardroom for five mintues and be excited not stressed, as you love to play poker.. it's not a scary thing it's a great thing.

I go bright red and my heart beats at a million miles an hour on the 1st pot i win, after this i'm fine.

Exactly .. it's a control thing... if I am going to get pissed then I have to be with people I really trust, and know .. or else I panic, and not ususally in a public place either.

Sheesh I sound a real basket case now <g>

The Trace's around here have their heads screwed on I reckon.

It is different for a woman at a poker table, and it is difficult to maintain a fighting spirit, and it's easy to let your guard down.

All good points, I have thinking to do .. keep em coming...

I know what you mean Heidi, I played my first live game at Notts and my nerves were shot to hell. It was suggested that I have some Red Bull which I tried and it did seem to help until I realized Nemesis was sitting opposite me  :o
I tried to imagine I was at home sitting in front of the pc and that worked till Robert stared me out grrrrrrr

Heid, I used to be so nervous/excited before and during live games that I was almost physically sick

It does get better as live play becomes more familiar to you, although even now I still shake like a leaf for the first few hands, I think it's just adrenalin because I no longer feel nervous at all

The best advice I can give you is take it slowly, don't rush your decisions, don't worry about what others will think of your play.

When under pressure people often make hasty decisions, or push all their chips in so that they don't have to spend any more time in the spotlight and they don't have to make any more tough choices

Try to play every hand to the best of your ability, but don't be to hard on yourself, remember, you are a novice.
Imagine if a novice in any other sport had to play along side seasoned pro's

It will get better, I promise

Here's an anecdote of something similar that I went through Heid.

I hadn't played much at all live when I went to my first festival a couple of months ago.

I was one of around 30 players left in a £100 re-buy pot limit event when I had what can only be described as a panic attack.

I was quite low on chips, but then doubled up twice. When I won another large pot knocking someone out I was all-in with AK aginst QQ and started shaking, one of my cards hit and the dealer pushed me the pot. I tried to stack my chips but my hands were still shaking. It took all my concentration to get them in a pile. I felt like the room was getting smaller, people were talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying, I suddenly felt very hot and the shaking wouldn't stop.

I stood up and staggered away from the table, went outside to get some air, one of the cardroom staff asked me if I was ok. I could only muster a soft mumble by way of reply. They brought me a glass of water. The air and water were good, but I needed to sit down. There was a perfectly good seat at the poker table but I felt I wasn't ready to return yet. I didn't care that I was being blinded away, as I was in no condition to be in charge of my chips till I pulled myself together.

I sat down for 10 minutes away from the table to compose myself. One of the dealers who'd just got off duty sat next to me and I talked with him. It would be more accurate to say he talked to me, as I didn't say much. I was happy for him to do so as he was dead nice. In between rambling about this and that he said something, a little soundbite, that has stayed with me.

It wasn't a particularly wise or clever bit of advice. Nor do I understand why it has helped me so much. It's so simple and obvious, that if I saw it written down in a book or an article, or even in a post on an internet forum, then I would have been likely to instantly dismiss it. Something though, perhaps the way he said it, has made it stay with me and take it to heart. I'm pleased to say I've never had any similar problems since. I think what that dealer said that day has a lot to do with this.

I never did get that dealer's name, or thank him properly for helping me so much. It was the 2nd last day of the festival. The following day, at the main event, I looked for him to say ta but he was nowhere to be seen. Sometimes I'm not altogether sure it was a real person speaking to me that night. Perhaps he was a figment of my imagination, in my confused state I could possibly have confused the two and was speaking to myself (or listning to myself) the whole time. I like to think he was a poker angel though, who came down from on high to help me in my moment of need and gave me a little nugget, one simple little sentence, that I will carry with me throughout the rest of my poker career.

Whether real, imaginary or supernatural I'd like to say to him... Thankyou very much.

Another point to mention, this time about my own live play...

When I first started playing live, in my first game, the first big hand I had my hand shook uncontrollably. I had to have a cigarette to calm my nerves. Something else to concentrate on? A bit of a nicotine buzz? Who knows, it worked. No more hand shake (either that or it was just familiarity setting in that stopped them <g>).

If you speak to any of my family members they will say I'm a non smoker. Yet I smoke like a chimney. I only smoke when playing cards live... (Or if I'm pissed which is very rarely). I did used to smoke many years ago. I don't know what it is, when playing cards I need to have a box of cigs to hand. I'm not nervous. Comfort? Who knows.

 :goodpost: tank, So what did he say?

tell us tank.

lovely post

I think I just need to be my bolshy normal self, have a couple of G&T's beforehand, sit in a nice quiet corner for a few mins and centre myself, get the old sunglasses out, and envisage a very solid force field around me that no-one can get through.

I can sit and have a laugh with everyone, but when it comes down to it .. close down and just analyse.

Of course it's all very well to sit here and say these things...

It's very different in reality..

I shall work on it.

Funny thing is .. in my work I have to be jolly and authoritative (in a nice way), and full of confidence, and twice a year we have to run a big bash for 400 people ... kinda like broadway but no gambling <boo>, and it's a day when I'm on show and have to be seen and chat and be the life and soul of the party, and I am kind of wondering if I need to transfer that persona to the table.

Perhaps that might happen at the Broadway?

Then I just need to become like that at the table at the Cheesey game .. dear god ..

So what did he say?

Dunno if tank deliberately kept us all hanging on, or whether he just forgot, but I seem to remember that the advice was something like 'All you can do is play your cards - just play your cards'.

What you need to do is come and find me , take me to the bar and buy me a large Jack Daniels and Ginger, with ice ... I will then proceed to talk such bollox that you wont be able to get to the poker table quick enough , Feeling that you need to stay there as long as possible , because if you get knocked out I will be waiting to talk to you again at the bar :)  

It helps if you don't care about the players at the table. Honestly who gives a damm if they 'like' you or not? pressure to be liked/accepted will make it harder for you to keep calm. Hate them. Every one of 'em. Take their money Then have a laugh with them - You're a Tiger - Grrrrrrrrrr

That was pretty much it. May not sound like much but it has genuinely helped me.

I deliberately left it out as I think it's a much nicer story if I don't mention what the guy said.

Overcoming nerves is a difficult thing to do if you're a 'nervy' kind of person, but one piece of advice I can give is to always make sure you're thinking about some specific aspect of the game.

Go over the last hand in your head, work out why the players did what. What are the players doing now? Did he do that the last time he looked at his cards? What do I think that might mean? How does my stack compare to everyone else's? How does that impinge on my immediate strategy?

Things like this help to avoid you just sitting there thinking 'everyone else is better than me', which is tournament death as you'll just clam up and become all rocky.

With such a big build up are you not going to tell us what he said?

lovely story btw.

*EDIT ... nevermind, you posted it already :D*

Nicer? Maybe.

More helpful? Probably not... :)

I have a couple of dumps before a game because of the nervous excitement happens every time! I'm normally OK but must admit the Luton game last week had me in my shell. Next time I'm just gonna play cards.
I also battle with Panic attack in life since my old man died (emotional trigger I guess) but strangely have never suffered one at the table ala Tanks post. Still get 'the shakes' after winning a big hand but thats is a good thing if it's under control and subsides after a minute. Lets you know your alive. The day I stop feeling like that I will probably stop playing. The buzz is great lets face it.

After I wrote it with the advice left in and read it over, I felt it could be percieved to be a bit of a letdown after the build-up.

I decided to delete the 'just play your cards' part coz I heard somewhere you should sometimes leave the reader wanting more.

Have I spoiled the mystical atmosphere of your tale now, tank? If so, I apologise - I'll delete my post if you want to retain the aura of mystery.

No that's ok Andrew, my intent is not to tease.

There were 4 or so posts asking what it was, if I weren't to say it would just annoy people I think.

Just make sure you keep schtum about Santa.

Ta for the story Tank :)

For all intents and purposes, I am bubbly and gregarious, and am not at all scared of anything - but sitting at a poker table makes me squirm with fear, and panic, and it's not as if I haven't done it a few times - I have played live quite a bit.

It's a fear of looking like a prat, which is a self fulfilling prophecy, as I get so panicked that I do end up looking like a prat!

I love playing live, I love the idea of it, the notion, the expectation, the social aspect - seeing friends, the thrill of sitting down and seeing who you are sat with, watching the game unfold.

Then disaster strikes, and I get a hand. Then all hell breaks loose, my brain goes into overdrive, and I feel like a bunny that is sat on the fast lane of the M4.

My limbs stop working, my ability to lob chips casually around leaves me, and I become Mrs Bean.

Then I get stressed by what has happened, and then it all gets worse. Then I don't play hands that I should because I am scared about what will happen, then I panic about the fact I haven't played hands, and a marginal hand becomes in my mind the best thing since Starbucks, and I play like a guppy.

What a mess eh?

i think everyone shakes at the table at some time or other - its a natural reaction to the increased heart rate and blood flow. Generally you will shake after the event which has caused the excitement - whether winning a big pot or making a big bluff.

The more you think about it, the more you will shake. If you just accept it, it will pass soon enough.

Just enjoy the table. Be happy to be there, and not stuck in front of a computer screen. The whole sensory experience is far far better than the virtual one. The sights/sounds/smells etc. cannot be beaten. I would play every night of the week live if I could.

Apart from last night grrr... where Mr Nail and Mr Pirelli got together to ensure that I wasnt going to get anywhere near cincinnati's.

Might I suggest a different approach,  Treat the whole table like dead money. Remain in the mindset of " I'm the best player here, and you are gonna pay for sitting at a table with me"

Just go on the offensive and stay there. This will cure your jitters and after winning a few good pots you will be super confident.

Btw never fear looking like a prat, You will probably make a bad play or two, it happens, thats why god invented suckouts.

And if you lose at the end of the night remember that its the long term that counts.

Just one more thing, If you are busy thinking about yourself you are gonna miss important tells your opponents are giving off. Think about the table, the cards and how people have played their hands. you should be the last thing to think about.

Hope this helps.

See that's the thing I do pay attention to what's going on around me, I do use that to calm myself before I get a hand.

Thanks for the advice, I shall call everyone at my table a fish to their face at Broadway then <gggg>

Please understand in advance my motives<gg>.

Heid
xx

You could always try "old-faithful".........

When you sit down at the table just imagine everyone else is sat there naked (or in some cases in underwear). Might not improve the card playing but you'll have everybody wondering why you're in stitches at the table  :D

It's also why god invented talcum powder.

My first few live tourneys years ago, my knees knocked together like you would have never known,  not sure if it was from the adrenaline or just plain scared stupid :)  but after playing about 10 tourneys I finally said to myself, stop panicing, you can do this, relax, breathe and take control.

I find if you keep saying this to yourself in your head then it does work, also my ipod works wonders ;)

I once read an article by a top poker player that he said every event he looks into a mirror and says "i'm the best poker player in the world and i'm going to win"    If you go into every event positive and fighting to win, you can't go wrong other than badbeats!   

Hope it helps hun
Mel x

You dont need talcum, you ran all over me last night, ( makes a change!!!)

Failing all that fantastic advice...you could dye ya hair a really stupid colour, so that nobody notices your game play lol

You will be kewl heidi and no where near as nervous as me.

I don't know what's going on here, and I'm not sure that I want to......

The thing is .. this isn't my first or even 10th tourney. I have played loads. When I was in Vegas I was fine - 11 days of at least 2 tourneys a day...perhaps I was more relaxed cause I was on hols there, or perhaps I was a lot worse then and just didn't realise.

Perhaps I should just play live in Vegas?

Even when I was in Vegas, I had an issue that caused me problems, but I didn't care. I didn't even need to have a drink when I was in vegas ... hmm we might be onto something here...need to keep thinking.

it's all in the mind - i accidentally clicked on the wrong tourney on Stars last night - and ended up playing heads up stud poker -which is something I have never seen/know anything about. I lasted about 15 mins - because I decided i would have to bluff my way through - it was only $10 but I didn't want to waste it!

I guessed that the better the cards I had showing the more he would think i had and just bluffed because i didn't have a clue.....I made out I was good and he belived me - the poor man kept on folding obviously outclassed - LOL.

Interesting experience because I HAD to bluff - I'm not very confident in bluffing normally so from now on I'm going to apply that mindset that I have to bluff sometimes to win -  and see what happpens!

Its all in the mind - now - look into my eyes........!

I don't have that much of a problem when playing - my problem's switching off afterwards & going to sleep, even then when I get to sleep it doesn't help - I'm raising, calling etc all frigging night in my dreams - which is why I'm like a half shut knife at work in the mornings. (Last night I was checking then calling to Dave C... of going all in with my flush-draw and missing when trying to knock him out. :blonde:)

Seriously thinking of contacting a hypnotherapist I know to discuss a relaxation CD... might think about getting him to do a 'getting the game face on' & a 'it was a bad loss - but don't tilt' track as well - then I'd consider an ipod to take to the table  :D

7 card stud...now that was I game I used to love.

Used to have a really good game years ago in my local pub (high wycombe), long before the poker boom. we even used real money (no chips).


I have forgotten everything now though....

I always remember something an old fella said to me once, think about it:-

Nerves are the fear of losing.

If you don't fear losing, you won't be nervous :)

Each to their own, what relaxes one will not work for another. For me, poker IS my relaxation and after the initial few hands have been dealt, I am fully alert (if I'm still in) and feeling good. Have a drink first if you like, but be careful not to get the taste for it, particul;arly if its a long tournament. Make sure that you are well rested too and that should help you relax.